


Together Forever

by willowezra



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 174,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3795850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowezra/pseuds/willowezra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is found in her lab after a stressful mission and promising to go home. Janet demands answers and soon the outlook that has followed Sam for her entire life comes to the surface</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Man In Me

**Author's Note:**

> Co-wrote with someone not a member of this site.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is found in her lab after a stressful mission and promising to go home. Janet demands answers and soon the outlook that has followed Sam for her entire life comes to the surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was co-wrote with author Melissa Adams, an author not on AO3.

SGC Complex  
Carters Lab

Another couple hours and Major Samantha Carter would be to the point where she could rest. Oh she knew it was silly but ever since she was younger after something stressful in her lift she had to be to the point of physical exhaustion to sleep more than two or three hours at a time and with the doctor's orders for her to sleep a total of eight hours or so uninterrupted she knew that she needed to be exhausted to the point to do that or she was so not going to be cleared for duty in a few days and this next planet on SG-1's mission list was one she wanted to visit. 

It was weird when Sam thought about it, here she was one of the premiere front line officers and the world's foremost astrophysicist and she couldn't admit to her friends that she couldn't sleep unless she was to the point of exhaustion or why when and if she found out. Of course with at thorough as the base CMO and her friend was she had been amazed that it hadn't come up or been found out before this but she was always careful of course and other events normally had all their concentration. The real challenge came on the nights when she stayed at Janet's place or in a hotel with her, she had to feign some believable work in order to keep awake long enough to get tired and not rouse the woman's suspicions. Of course there was that one instance she thought for sure that she had been caught only to silently thank that both women decided to stay up half the night and the next morning were rewarded with a hangover that would kill if they were lucky but it hadn't. 

Pausing in her typing some worthless equation to go through and get to the one that would actually help when she paused and raised a hand to her mouth to cover the yawn and shook her head to wake it up. Another two hours and she could sleep but she had to stay awake for that. Suddenly she looked up when the sound permeated her mind like a knife, heel clicks from the high heels Janet wore, "Shit" she exclaimed and quickly glanced around the office. ~Hide, hide...but where? ~ 

Setting her eyes on the sofa she nodded and ran over to shut off the life and then took a flying dive over the sofa and laid down on the floor making sure none of her body would bee seen, as long as Janet didn't look too hard she would think the lab was empty. Hearing the clicks stop outside the door Sam closed her eyes a moment and steadied her breathing the best she could and then saw the light flip on and the slower heel click sounds. Counting in her head the woman was relieved when she saw the light go off and the door close. Uncurling her legs she laid out on her back and breathed in what felt like the first time in the past few minutes, ~I'm getting too old for this~ she thought giving another seconds for Janet to get further away before she went back to work. 

Janet had decided to check on Sam to make sure she was actually sleeping and not working. She was at the lab door when she heard and exclaimed 'shit' coming from within and that gave the good doctor her answer. She pushed the door open and entered quietly. 

~Damn, damn, damn~ the trapped woman thought and looked around studying the sofa, there was only a two inch space underneath it but if she was careful she could... 

The door was pushed open slowly Janet taking her time listening for any sound that could be made by Sam. 

Carter backed up a little when she saw the light coming from the door and immediately felt it and clasped her hand over her mouth, she had found that mousetrap she had put out last week. The worst part was she didn't have any boots on and...~GOD DAMN THAT HURTS~ she screamed in her mind putting her head down on the floor and pressing her hand tighter over her mouth. 

The door was pushed open half way but still obscuring most of the room from Janet's view. 

Grinding her teeth together Sam made the mistake of pounding a fist on the floor and tried to hold still... 

Upon hearing a slight nose Janet threw the door open the rest of the way and watched Sam with a very narrow eye. 

Opening one eye the woman saw Janet and then the lights and sat up offering a smile, "Uh hi Janet" she said hiding her foot and pushing the pain down, if she saw she had a mousetrap stuck to her toes; likely broken and bleeding, she'd be stuck in the Infirmary and she really didn't want that. "I didn't see you there, what can I do for you?" 

Placing her hands on her hips Janet gave Sam one of her looks. "Why are you still working when you were ordered to get at least eight hours uninterrupted sleep?" She asked getting right to the point. 

"Well I..." she started and sat up but back on her legs, her left foot screaming at her, "You see I had some work to do and I did grab a few hours and...." 

"What part of uninterrupted do you not understand?" Janet paused. "I wasn't joking about this," she said a little angrily. 

~Think up something quick Carter...why couldn't one of our alien allies beam me up~ Sam thought and smiled but still sat on the floor. "I promise I'm going within the hour Janet." 

"Just because we are friends doesn't mean you can push it to the limits and try to get away with things concerning medical matters," Janet said frustration and anger clearly showing in her voice. 

"I promise to go to my own base quarters and rest." 

"See that you do. I will send a nurse by and if you're not asleep you are going to be sedated and forced to sleep whether you like it or not," Janet said firmly. "I am not joking in regards to this." She turned quickly and left slamming the door closed in her wake. Sometimes she wondered why she kept this position 

~Oh man she's hot~ Carter thought as she finally sat forward and looked at the injured foot which had the mouse trap hanging and covering two bloody toes. Wincing the woman took a deep breath and was just leaning forward when... 

"OH and one more thing Sam" came Fraiser's voice as she burst back in. 

~OH CRAP~ Sam Carter thought quickly and yanked her hand back covering her foot with the hand, which in turn pressed the trap further onto her foot and she winced but then smiled, "Uh...yes Janet, what is it?" 

"When you have some time Cassie wanted to talk to you," Janet said giving her friend a funny look. "She wouldn't tell me what it was about." She paused looking at Sam's expression. "Are you OK?" 

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine" Sam answered with a smile and didn't realize that her right hand was positioned at just the right spot that blood, sticky red blood started to trickle out and cover her fingers. 

"If you're fine then why do you have blood running down your hand?" Janet asked her voice cold. 

Glancing down at her foot with blue eyes the woman knew she was busted and truthfully she really did feel better when Janet tended to her personally, "I...uh a little accident I guess. Would you mind" she asked gently, softly and the pleading evident in her eyes as she uncovered the foot and motioned to it as she leaned back. "I...I think I broke something" she answered through gritted teeth now that she didn't have to hide the pain. 

"God Sam this is more than a little accident." Janet exclaimed. "What were you going to do, hide it from me?" She asked as she made her way over to her. "Where's you med kit?" 

"The Infirmary, it's being restocked and I haven't had a chance to pick it up yet" Sam admitted. "I wasn't really trying to hide it from you..." she admitted tiredly. "Can you take the trap off or not?" 

"Yes, but then we have to get you to the infirmary so I can take care of it properly," Janet said then angrily added. "And yes you were trying to hide it from me. I bet you had that on the whole time I was in here, so you could have said something." Janet kneeled and began to pull the spring part of the trap so she could slide it of Sam's foot. "Next time wear shoes this wouldn't have happened otherwise. Now, let's get that taped up," she said standing and coming to support Sam as she walked. 

Corridor

Wincing as she tried to hop along holding onto the doctor the woman simply sighed, she knew something was broken and that meant a cast though maybe Janet would just tape up toes...hell she didn't know and didn't care, "Well look at it...this way Janet...at least now I have a reason to stay up." 

"That's not funny," Janet said angrily. 'You take your health for granted and then if something goes wrong you expect me to put you back together." She paused and sighed letting some of her frustration out. "Gee thanks." 

Sam pulled away from the woman angrily and leaned against a wall in the corridor, "If you think it doesn't honestly hurt me when I have to ignore you Janet then go...Leave me here...I'm sure someone else won't mind giving me a hand, some airman or a scientist who comes by or better yet I'll make it myself" she snapped, a signal of how tired she was as she turned and put her full weight on her foot, leaving a pool of blood and a loud cuss word in it's wake. 

"Damn it, then don't ignore me," Janet yelled. "You're the only one that's forcing you to make that decision, not me." She moved once more to Sam's side. "And if I leave you here that means I'm neglecting my duties. If that where to happy what the hell kind of a Doctor would I be?" She didn't say another word but waited to see if Sam would take the help she was offering. 

Stopping Carter turned and stared at the smaller woman and finally sagged, her mind knowing what her soul knew already and she draped an arm heavily on Janet, "God I'm so tired Janet, but I can't sleep...I don't want to sleep" she admitted taking the weight off her injured foot. "And my foot hurts." 

"You foot probably wouldn't be hurting if you would have slept. Your body is tired and the only way to alleviate that is to rest," Janet said in a softer tone. "As much fun as you think working is it's not rest and that's what your body needs right now." 

They were almost to the infirmary taking it one step at a time. That tone told the woman all she needed to know and she sighed, "You're going to knock me out aren't you Janet?" 

"You have left me no choice Sam," Janet answered. 

Infirmary

"I know" was the short answer as they arrived at the Infirmary. A nurse rushed up to help and took Sam's other side, her weight supported between them. "Always fun days around here" the woman complained as she was helped onto a gurney. 

Janet grabbed a tray and all the items she would need to tend Sam's foot. She started by cleaning the broken skin. Then but an antibiotic cream on the openings and bandaged them up. Now she could deal with the fact the smallest toes was broken. She took a heavy medical tape and secured the toe to its neighbor. "I can't put a cast on a toe Sam so you're going to have to keep it taped up and STAY off of it." Just then the nurse returned with a pair of crutches. Janet leaned then against the bed. "When you are released you have to use them. Now, I have to give you a sedative," she pulled out a needle and after swabbing a point on Sam's arm proceeded to inject the contents into her blood stream. "Lay down you'll start to feel it working momentarily." She gathered all waste and proceeded to the trashcan. 

Half an hour later one of Janet's nurse's poked her head into the woman's office, "Ma'am it's been half an hour and Major Carter is still fighting the sedative, she's awake and the EEG shows increasing brain activity. Her pulse, and other vitals are up as well" she informed her boss. 

"What the hell" Janet mumbles to herself. She entered the infirmary and goes over to Sam. "You need to stop fighting the sedative Sam. I mean it." 

"I'm not," she admits tiredly from her spot lying on the gurney, the monitor wires running to her head and chest. Again the voice she hears and jerks her head to the side almost as if searching for someone in terror. 

"Sam, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong," Janet, said softly brushing stray strands of hair of Sam's forehead. 

Licking her lips the woman turns her eyes on Janet, she can see the concern and the love as a friend there, "I...I just don't want to sleep Janet." 

"Why Sam?" she asked. "Something has to be making you not want to sleep. Talk to me, I can help." she pleaded not wanting to see her friend like this. 

Sighing the woman shook her head, "You'd...you'd think it's silly and you'd be mad at me that I didn't report it earlier Janet; I can't tell you" she admitted as the voice came again; the message it said made little to no sense. 'Help us' over and over again repeated in her mind. At first Sam had ignored it, figuring with the horror story that Teal'c and Daniel had told about the civilization that used to thrive on the planet and the various bodies that had been found were giving her nightmares, nightmares so horrendous it reminded her of the fear she had a child after her mother died but working hadn't helped, getting exhausted hadn't helped. 

Janet forced Sam's gaze. "If you can't tell me then who can you tell," Janet sighed. "You can't keep going on this way, your body can't handle it." Janet took a seat on the bed next to where Sam lay, concern filling her eyes. 

Sighing Sam scooted over a little so she could look at Janet more easily and sighed, "You're just going to think I'm nuts and want to run all types of tests on me before I end up having to talk to Mackenzie, but I'm not crazy Janet" she insisted. 

"OK," Janet said still very worried. "Why don't you start from the top and we can go from there," She suggested wanting to get to the bottom of this. 

Sitting up a little Carter pulled her knees up and hugged them, the fatigue and the effort of fighting the sedative the Doctor had given her evident on her face and her toe hurt, "When we came back from the last mission, I ... I started hearing these voices, at least I think I'm hearing them and incredible headaches, nausea and nightmares" she admitted knowing the reaction that would get from her best friend. Janet was very protective of patients and those she called friends. 

A little bit of anger flared in Janet's eyes. "Why didn't you come to me sooner?" She asked. "At least that explains your EEK readings. Can you tell me about the nightmares and what the voices keep saying?" Janet wanted answers but didn't want to push Sam too hard. She was afraid she would pull so far into herself like she did when taken over by Jolinar. 

Shrugging the woman rested her head on her knees, "It doesn't make much sense to me really and I don't remember a lot about the nightmares" she began as the voice came again and then the flashes...images of people's faces crying out, blood curdling screams and the monitors wailed as Sam's vitals skyrocketed. 

"Sam. What did you see? What did you hear?" Janet asked panic hinted in her voice as she rubbed one of Sam's shins in a soothing gesture. 

But the woman didn't answer and then she started to seize, her head thrown back and her body shaking as the monitors wailed. Medical personnel came running... 

"Get a crash cart in here," Janet yelled, "Patient going into defib. Let's get an IV started." Her head nurse got the IV line running and brought an oxygen mask over Sam's face. She began to lay Sam back down. "I need six milligrams EPI. She's going into seizures." Janet was moving frantically to stabilize Sam's vitals and her team was just as frantic. 

Briefing Room

It was a little over an hour later before Sam was situated in ICU; unconscious though the EEG showed her mind was active in ways almost not possible. Hammond and SG-1 were meeting with the CMO in the briefing room and O'Neil spoke first, "Doc what the hell is going on? You cleared all of us after the last mission and now you're telling me Carter is hearing voices." 

"Colonel" Hammond began and shook his head to silence the man, "Doctor Fraiser can you tell us what is going on with the Major? You said they all passed their post mission exams with flying colors, though you told me that the Major was a little tired lately." 

"Other than Major Carter feeling tired, there was nothing in her exams to lead to this. She passed everything," Janet said frustrated. "I don't understand it myself, but she complained about nausea and headaches caused by the nightmares and voices she is hearing." She clasped her hands together on the table. "I can't explain how or why she is, but all I know is I believe her. Her EEK readings were almost off the charts and for that to happen she has to be having abnormal brain activity." Janet stopped and looked around the table. "Colonel did anything unusual happen on the last mission?" 

The older man shook his head, "Not for Teal'c and I, we were together. Danny was with Carter in that temple thing..." 

"Ziggurat Jack" Daniel Jackson informed him calmly. "Sam was just studying the walls with me Janet, I don't remember anything..." 

"Janet" came Sam's voice from behind her, she was still in the Infirmary gown and had unhooked the IV's and monitors going toward her and snuck out. 

"MAJOR" Hammond ordered coldly. 

"Carter you look like hell" Jack O'Neil stated rising, as did everyone else. "Doc, I didn't think she was well enough to be here?" 

Janet spun in her chair facing the Major. "Sam. You should be in the infirmary," Janet said moving to get her in the seat next to hers. "Colonel she isn't," Janet said and gave Sam a quick once over. 

"Bad girl Carter shouldn't sneak out on the Doc. She tends to stick things where..." 

"Colonel" the General interrupted. "Major are you sure you're ok to be here?" 

"Not...really Sir" she answered tiredly, "However, I think I need to be here." 

"Why do you think you need to be here?" Janet asked trying to at least get some answers. 

They were all now sitting around the table with Hammond at the head, Jack and Teal'c on one side with Janet sitting between Daniel and Sam on the other. 

Sighing and taking a minute to control the images flooding her mind, "General" she began looking at Hammond. "I...I don't know how or why but I'm seeing, hearing things. The voice that is prevalent at the moment says help us, over and over again and it isn't in English though I do understand what it means. The images I'm getting..." she closed her eyes against the headache, "Are of battles, death blows, almost as if they are images of me killing people Sir." 

"Carter listen" Jack O'Neil began, "Maybe it's just stress, you need some time off and..." 

"NO SIR" she hollered opening her eyes with a vengeance. "I'm not overworked, I'm not crazy, and I'm seeing and hearing what I said I'm hearing Sir." 

"What language are they talking in Sam" Daniel asked thinking that could help him perhaps understand what was going on. 

"I have no idea Daniel" Sam answered, "I've...I've never heard it before." 

Janet sat in silence until medical questions were asked this was out of her league. 

"We should return to the planet," Teal'c said. "The answers could be in the temple somewhere." 

"No" Carter said shaking her head and then leaned forward in pain, the headache coursing through her body like a knife. ~God it hurts~ she thought slowly. 

"Doctor" Hammond determined, "Perhaps you had best get your patient back to the Infirmary and..." 

"I'm...fine Sir" Sam intoned but didn't move she wouldn't move because if she did her head would fall off. 

"Sam you are in pain. Let me get you to the infirmary and we can take care of it," Janet said softly. "Teal'c can you help me move Major carter?" Janet stood and pulled Sam's chair away from the table. 

Control Room

The Jaffa man nodded and walked over to pick her up but then Sam stood almost with a blank look on her face and pushed away from him walking toward the stairs and descending them quickly. Almost on automatic she went to a computer console and started typing massive amounts of machine code. Everyone from the briefing room had followed her, "Major what are you doing" Hammond demanded. 

"I...I don't know Sir" she insisted but kept typing. 

"Sam, you need to return to the infirmary," Janet insisted. 

"Major I order you to stop at once," Hammond commanded not wanting to screw up anything dealing with the gate and its programming. 

"I can't do that Sir" she said and kept typing. 

"Teal'c stop her and take her back to the Infirmary" ordered the General coldly. 

The Jaffa walked over and grabbed her arms, "You must desist Major Carter." 

"NO! I...." and then she passed out. 

Infirmary

With the help of Teal'c Janet had Sam back in ICU hooked up to all the monitors and IV line. 

Briefing Room

SG-1 and General Hammond had returned to the briefing room to discuss the situation further and to try and comprehend what Major Carter had been typing. 

Infirmary

Janet herself could not be removed from Sam's side. She sits in a chair next to the bed holding Sam's hand worried about her. 

Doctor David Mackenzie came in a few hours later and motioned to Fraiser. Once they were alone in her office he handed her a file, "Major Carter's dopamine levels are through the roof Doctor. With her headaches and the voices it's classic schizophrenic behavior, you know that." 

"I know her symptoms classify her as a schizophrenic, but I believe there is an alien influence involved here," Janet said professionally. "I am not going to condone her to be admitted into a Mental Hospital if that's why your here," Janet said getting to the point and hating this man more than she did before. "If that is what you want to do then you have to go to the General and convince him because I will not sanction it." 

"And if she snaps and hurts someone" he questioned slowly. "I appreciate your devotion to your friends and patients Doctor but the truth is that you are too close to this to be objective. I've already spoken to the General and he's assured me that I have full psychological discretion in these matters, I was hoping to work with you to get the Major better as I'd rather not have her see us fighting" he informed her officially. "With luck, and the right medications, we can have the Major back here in a few months." 

"I'm all for working together if it's the right thing in so doing. There is no reason to lock her up in a padded room when she can be treated here or at the Academy hospital," Janet argued. "You have to get Sam another way, because I'm not giving her up without a fight," She finished and returned to sit by Sam's side. 

And three hours later he did as the man came back with two medical technicians and handed her a paper signed by General Hammond. He saw Carter awake and sitting up having been trying to talk with Fraiser, "Please move Doctor" he said pleasantly. 

"Janet" Sam pleaded pushing a little more toward the head of the bed. 

"Major just relax, we're going to help you. You're being transferred to mental health over at the Academy Hospital" Mackenzie told her. 

"Janet" Carter pleaded again and looked at her, "Why? What's..." 

"Damn you Mackenzie," Janet yelled. "Abby, get Hammond on the phone now." When the call was patched through Janet took over. "Sir I can't condone this. Its not right," Janet said a pleading tone in her voice. "There is no reason why the Major can't be treated here on base." 

"Doctor I didn't make this decision lightly but at your own insistence Major Carter has no physical signs of traumas or injuries beyond increased brain activity, which Doctor Mackenzie has told me is possibly a side effect of the behavior he believes she exhibits. I am in no way abandoning the Major" he began to explain. "But why not allow Doctor Mackenzie to conduct his tests while you continue to look for answers? It can't possibly hurt Major Carter and..." 

Screaming was heard as Sam fought the techs and Mackenzie before they walked her out, held tightly in a straight jacket. Carter's eyes locked on Janet's. 

"Sir, I believe that removing Major Carter from her know surroundings will do more harm than good," Janet stated. "If you will excuse me I am going to accompany her to the Hospital but this discussion is not over." Janet slammed the phone down and rushed after the techs, Mackenzie and Sam. 

Corridor

"Is that really necessary?" She questioned. "She has shown no signs of aggressive behavior since her recent predicament." 

"But she could Doctor" Mackenzie said and moved to the head of the group as the techs pushed Sam along. 

Sam Carter was terrified, she wasn't nuts and looked over towards Janet, "Janet what's gong on? You said you believed me...you said we'd fix this...why?" 

"Mackenzie stop," Janet, ordered. "Give me a minute to speak to Major Carter alone, please," She asked from one professional to another 

They were at the medical labs and the man turned and nodded, "One minute Doctor and I'm counting" he said motioning towards a lab where she could take Carter for some privacy. 

Medical Lab

Janet maneuvered Sam into the lab. "Sam, I need you to trust me. I believe what you have said," Janet softly said. "But Mackenzie has taken this out of my hands. He went straight to the General and over my head. I am trying to fight it, but I need you to go with them for now." She squeezed Sam's arm reassuringly. "I am going to see that the transfer is done properly and that you are in a safe place. I will get you back. OK?" 

Despite being the tough Major in the Air Force Sam let her walls down, she wouldn't have done it with anyone but Janet, "I...I don't want to go...they'll keep me and I'll never see you guys again, my work, my career and you and Cassie..." 

Janet tried to calm Sam down while fighting off her own panic. "Shh...Sam, its going to be OK. I won't let them keep you. I promise," Janet, said love showing in her eyes. "I'll be by everyday to visit and make sure you're OK. Can you do this for me, just for a little while until I can convince Hammond that you are not a risk here." Janet searched Sam's expression trying to find the answers to many of the questions she had. 

Pressing her eyes tightly closed the woman nodded slowly when a wrapping came on the door. Both women turned and despite the voices Sam faced Janet, she couldn't touch her because her arms were in the straight jacket, "I understand Janet...thank you," she admitted. 

"Doctor, Major" came the voice of David Mackenzie. "We have to go." 

Janet caressed Sam's cheek then called out to the others. "All right we're coming." 

Corridor

Janet lead Sam out of the lab and they walked behind everyone on their way topside. Janet wouldn't let Sam get more than arms reach away and the only time that will change is when she had to leave her at the Hospital. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital

The ride was quiet; Sam had leaned over and rested her head on Janet's shoulder. She was so tired, she didn't want to hurt anyone and just wanted to sleep; her foot was killing her with the broken toe and Mackenzie hadn't given a damn when she told him about it. On top of that he had injected some type of anti something or other though she wasn't paying enough attention to get the name. Apparently she had drifted off because she felt someone shake her shoulder once and then she was yanked out half asleep and sat on the ground, "OW" she hollered lifting up her injured foot as everyone looked at her. "Watch the toe you idiots" she seethed and tried to tell the voice she was hearing to shut up. 

Janet was furious with the techs. "This is a patient here not a piece of luggage. You are to treat her with delicate hands and care. Do you understand me?" She leaned down to speak to Sam. "I'll give you something for the pain in your foot once inside." 

"I'm sorry Doctor" Mackenzie interrupted from where he was speaking with a nurse, "That won't be possible. I'll give Major Carter something when and if she needs it. We have to do an intake exam for now so you'll have to say good bye here" he ordered a nurse came over with a wheelchair. "Have a seat Major Carter." 

"It's ok Janet" Sam promised as she carefully sat down and looked up at her with heavy eyes. "I...I know this isn't your fault. Just find out what's wrong." 

"Mackenzie don't you dare cut me out on this," Janet warned. "I am going to accompany the Major throughout the exams." 

"Doctor this is my..." David began signing the paperwork. 

"Janet" Carter interrupted and looked up at her and smiled, "It's ok, really. Trust me, just go back to the base...find the answers," she pleaded and then the nurse pushed her away. 

Mackenzie came up to her and handed her some paperwork, "I've accepted full custody of Major Carter, and there are the signed forms. I'll keep you informed of her condition Doctor Fraiser." 

As Sam was being wheeled away and Mackenzie handing her the paper work Janet couldn't take it anymore and snapped. "Mackenzie you pompous son of a bitch, so help me.." she didn't finish the rest of that sentence. Instead she abruptly turned and marched back to a vehicle that was returning to the base. She was not happy in the slightest bit and Hammond would hear about it soon enough. 

SGC Complex  
Briefing Room

SG-1 and Hammond were waiting when Janet came into the briefing room and O'Neil was having his say at the moment, "General with all due respect Sir...are you cracked?" 

"Colonel" Hammond began. 

"General you know Mackenzie isn't going to help her. Hell he didn't help Daniel when the same thing happened with him, he thought the same thing and..." 

"Colonel I fully believe that the Major is best helped here, however you also need to understand" he began and nodded to Fraiser, "That short of issuing an order that would be overturned the minute he went to the head of psychiatric military services, there was nothing I could do. I tried to talk him out of this, but by refusing his 'request' the fact is that it could have put the entire program at risk." 

"The programs already at risk Sir," Janet said. "After all Major Carter is pretty much the one that keeps the gate running." She approached the table and took her seat. "I believe in the long run he is going to do more damage than good. Sam is comfortable here in her environment. And she is only comfortable with one doctor and that's me. She trusts me." 

Janet momentarily let her anger get the better of her then threw all her walls up. 

"And I agree Doctor" the General stated. 

"Then why did you allow him to take her Sir" Daniel interrupted quickly and shifted his glasses. "I can promise you from first hand information that Mackenzie isn't at all nice to..." 

"Major Carter knows how to handle herself and there are bigger concerns here" he stated and looked at Fraiser. "Is there a reason why you can't remain her physician and treat her as well at the Academy Hospital Doctor?" 

"Mackenzie is locking me out so to speak," Janet said with a shake of her head. "I tried to remain with her upon arrival when they contacted a cursory exam, but he had security block my way, keeping me and the Major separated. If we don't find an answer and find it fast I am afraid of the lasting effects this might have on her." Mentally Janet made a silent vow that if anything were to happen to Sam she was going to really make life a living hell for him. 

"Well that isn't going to work," Hammond proclaimed. 

"No kidding General...I could shoot him" O'Neil offered. 

Teal'c raised his eyebrow, "Indeed O'Neil." 

"Major Carter is a member of this command Doctor, you're to stay involved with her care by my direct orders. If Mackenzie has a problem with that then you have him come to me," Hammond ordered with a nod of his head. "Anything else?" 

"Has there been any headway on the information the Major was typing?" She paused but not long enough for anyone to respond. "Could it be possible for the answers to be on the alien planet?" 

"General" O'Neil interrupted, "We have to tell them." 

"Tell us what" Daniel asked as Teal'c raised his eyebrow. 

Sighing the older man faced them, "While Major Carter's medical situation is real the fact is that I had been working with the Chief of Staff at the Academy Hospital and Colonel O'Neil here when one of our personnel and two of Mackenzie's patients reported 'inappropriate' behavior while he was treating them. Nothing sexual but..." 

"YOU used Sam" Jackson demanded. "You let him take her on purpose...how could..." 

"Take it easy Danny. Carter heard us talking and she asked to help, her current situation just made that possible" O'Neil interrupted. "Doc we were going to brief you but then the situation with Carter came up and..." he shrugged. 

"And what," Janet yelled. "You thought it wasn't important anymore? He is a part of my staff and I should have been informed at the very beginning." She stood and began to walk towards the door. 

"Doctor" Hammond said rising and walked over to her. "I don't have to tell you how important Major Carter is to this command, this country and to those of us in this room who are her friends. I need you to keep your eye on her, only you can without scaring him off. But above all you make sure Major Carter is safe, I don't want her hurt." 

"So help him if her hurts her, that will be the last thing he ever does," Janet said before practically running out of the briefing room and to the surface. 

Enroute To Academy Hospital

The drive to the Hospital was shorten than it should have been. She not only was speeding but she ran three red lights as well. Thank god there were no cops around. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital

Upon arrival Janet headed straight to the nurses desk. "I demand to see Major Carter." 

"You'll need to speak with Doctor Mackenzie about that Doctor Fraiser" the young officer said, he was only following orders. "Major Carter is resting right now after being medicated." 

"I am her primary care physician. I don't need to be cleared by Mackenzie. Now give me her file and take me to see her," Janet demanded getting angry. 

"Right away Major" the man said and quickly found the file and handed it to her. "She's in room three to the left," he pointed. 

Mackenzie was coming out then recapping a syringe and stopped seeing the CMO of the SGC, "Doctor Fraiser, what are you doing here? I've made it clear that..." 

"Cut the crap Mackenzie. I am her primary physician so I have the final say," Janet was angry and wanted so much to take a swing at the man. Unfortunately if she did that she wouldn't be able to help Sam. "If you have a problem with it take it up with Hammond, but I really don't give a damn," she went on to say. "Now tell me what you just injected her with?" 

"Rest assured Doctor" he stated handing her the sedative, a strong one, "I will" and left. 

In her mind Sam knew that the base would use this situation to catch Mackenzie and the 'complaints' that she had insisted on wanting to help with. Her head was heavy and she was laid out on the floor, mumbling and knew she wouldn't be conscious long. Listening to voice Sam licked her lips, she knew when Janet found out about it she was going to be hot but the complains had all been issued by women and Mackenzie had always had an interest in her because of Jolinar. 

Janet grabbed the syringe and stuffed it in a pocket, she would analyze it later, and right now she needed to check on Sam. She entered the room to see Sam sprawled out on the floor. "Oh god," she gasped as she immediately knelt down and started doing a cursory exam. Sam was overly medicated and that was not a good thing. As Janet lifted her eyelids she noticed that the pupils did not dilate and rolled slightly back in the eye sockets. "Sam, Sam can you hear me." 

Mumbles greeted her and her head lolled to the side, "Mmm....No....I don't..." and then silence. 

"Sam I am so sorry," Janet said tears filling her eyes. "I had no idea." 

Mackenzie came in at that time and without his coat, his silver eagles clear and stared at the woman, "Major Carter needs rest Doctor, I'm going to have to ask you to leave...IMMEDIATELY." 

"I don't give a damn what you want Doctor," Janet said coldly. "I am not letting Major Carter out of my sight. You have got her so overmedicated right now it's unbelievable." Janet stood defiantly before the egotistical man. 

"You have no cause to determine that Doctor" he stated calmly. "Now MAJOR I am giving you a direct order to leave this room...YOU are disturbing my patient." 

"She is no longer your patient, I am resuming full medical care of her. You have a problem take it up with Hammond," Janet stated glaring at Mackenzie. 

"You are too close to the Major to determine anything Doctor and until this can be resolved the Major is not leaving" David Mackenzie stated stepping forward. "Now do you leave voluntarily or do I have guards remove you by force for disobeying a DIRECT order?" 

"I take my orders from Hammond and Hammond alone," Janet said not backing down an inch. 

"Very well, then I'll..." 

"You'll get nothing" came Jack O'Neil's voice behind him as he stood with SG-1 and four guards. "We got into your files Mackenzie, while the Doc and Carter here kept you busy. You're going down" he stated smiling and came in, his weapon in his hand and looked at Janet, "Is she all right?" 

"Sam" Daniel called and raced over dropping down beside her. She moaned at his touch. 

"I won't know until I get this drug analyzed. If he was telling the truth and its nothing more than a strong sedative then I can give her an antitoxin to help expel the rest of the drugs from her system," Janet stated. "Otherwise I don't know, but there will be some sever withdrawal she will go through." Hearing Sam moan and seeing her in the condition she was in Janet couldn't take it anymore and snapped. She took the extra two steps so she was standing directly in front of Mackenzie, balled up her right fist and decked him. 

"MY NOSE" the man stated as he covered his bloody nose and moved back. 

Daniel and Teal'c stared wide-eyed but Jack was all smiles and motioned the guards in, "Way to go Doc. Watch the door the next time you walk into it there buddy" he said holstering his sidearm. "Get him out of here." 

"You have no authority" David began. 

"Mackenzie" O'Neil said coming up and glared at him, "Keep pissing me off and I'll shoot you" he stated coldly and walked around him to Fraiser. "Is there anything we can do? Is your hand all right?" 

"It hurts like hell Sir," Janet stated looking and her bleeding knuckled. "Right now my primary concern is taking care of Major Carter." 

"Fine by me Doc, but then you get that hand looked at" Jack said and looked at Daniel and listened as Mackenzie screamed and hollered as he was led away. "T, keep an eye on him until he's in a cell and then call and brief Hammond. Doc, do you want her moved somewhere?" 

"I want to get her back to the base as soon as possible," Janet said as she moved to the doorway and grabbed an orderly that was passing by. "I need a wheelchair brought to this room immediately," she said with authority. 

Everyone nodded when suddenly Sam arched up, her eyes wide in pain and then she slumped. Daniel was beside her and looked up in alarm, "JANET" he hollered. "There is no pulse." 

Janet immediate ran to Sam's side and proceeded to do CPR. It was only two minutes later but it seemed like a lifetime to Janet. Sam was finally breathing and had a pulse. "Get an ambulance to meet us outside. She can't stay here any longer I need to run tests," Janet stated her concern clearly written across her face. As she proceeded to accompany Sam back to the base she threw her keys at Daniel. "I need you to drive my car back please." 

"No problem" he stated and nodded rising. "Jack we better..." 

"I'm with you Danny boy, but you report to Hammond. I've got to stay and clear stuff up around here" O'Neil said and walked over to Janet putting a hand on her shoulder. "How's she doing Doc? There should be an ambulance waiting, we can wheel her out on the gurney when you're ready." 

"I'm afraid that the drugs Mackenzie injected Sam with where not sedatives," Janet sighed. "This incident just proved that." She took another look at Sam. "Lets start taking her outside. By the time we get out the ambulance should be waiting. I want guards in front and in back." 

Once O'Neil had ordered the guards they set out, with Jack staying pace with Janet who had her hand around Sam's wrist, "She's going to be ok Doc, but as soon as she's stable I want you to get your hand looked at, understand?" 

"My hand isn't a priority," Janet said coldly and continued walking. Sam was in danger of losing her life and she pretty much let it happen. 

"Doc" Jack insisted and stopped her as the woman was loaded into the ambulance and the medical people did their thing. "You're here for her now...that's what matters so try to cut yourself a break or you're no good to Carter. I'll check in back at the base" he said and let her go looking at a guard, "You follow only Major Fraiser's orders until you're back at NORAD, is that understood?" 

"Yes Colonel" one of the guards stated with a nod. "Doctor" he motioned to the ambulance. 

Janet looked at Jack. "See that son of a bitch gets what he deserves." She climbed in after Sam and watched as one guard climbed in after her and another closed the door. "Sam, I'm here," she said as she held Sam's hand lightly stroking the knuckles. 

From somewhere in her mind Sam heard the voice and managed to squeeze the hand but didn't open her eyes or speak, she was just too tired for that. 

Janet leaned down to whisper in Sam's ear something for only her to hear. "I want you to hang on. OK. I'm not going to lose you," Janet paused. "You're very brave." 

Opening one eye Sam spoke softly under the O2 mask on her face, "Very brave" she whispered or tried to before falling unconscious again. 

Janet held the hand tightly in hers and brushed back stray strands of blond hair from Sam's forehead. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the SGC and began to transfer Sam to the infirmary. 

SGC Complex  
Observation Room

Hammond and SG-1 came in an hour later to find Fraiser in an observation room above the isolation room where Sam Carter was hooked up to monitors and staff attended to her. "How's she doing" Jack asked staring at the still figure. 

Daniel came over and put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it nodding at the bandage covering her hand. 

"She is stable for the moment and I was able to analyze the drugs that were introduced to her system," Janet said emotionless. "She went into shock half way to the infirmary, but we were lucky and didn't lose her. As far as the narcotics go, I have treated them with an antitoxin, but there are still minimal traces left. When she wakes she has an extreme high to come down from." Never once did she really acknowledge the General or members of SG-1, she just kept staring out the observation bay window at the still form of her friend. 

"I know you don't believe it Doc" O'Neil stated, "But it wasn't your fault." 

"That's right," Daniel insisted, "If you hadn't been there God only knows what would have happened to Sam." 

"Indeed" the Jaffa stated, "Without your assistance we would be deprived of Major Carter's presence, I would not desire this." 

"Doctor, for the moment I'm going to overlook the fact that you struck Doctor Mackenzie but..." 

"She didn't General" O'Neil countered, "He walked into a door and as soon as Carter's up, we'll have the security footage to prove it Sir." 

"I see" Hammond continued, "Doctor do you know what he injected her with or what the purpose of it was?" 

"He injected her with a number of narcotics," Janet said coldly not acknowledging them, just staring out the observation bay window. "Several of which are highly addictive." Sadly Janet added. "She is going to be in pretty bad shape for a while." 

"Son of a..." the Colonel said and shook his head. "General I knew I never liked him, permission to shoot him Sir?" 

"Colonel that's enough" Hammond snapped. "Do you have any idea why he did that Doctor? Major Carter is the fourth victim he's attacked that way, according to reports." 

"I can't say why he did it to the previous victims, but I think he may have been testing Major Carter's tolerance," Janet said her tone flat and devoid of emotion. "I noticed some notes he had in her file, about try to mix a high dosage of narcotics that would inhibit a Goa'uld's perception. Make them more susceptible to either mind control or interrogation. Sam was nothing more than a guinea pig to him." All Janet could do was watch Sam and judgment being clouded with anger. 

Before the man could ask anything more a voice came over, it was of Janet's head nurse Abby, "Ma'am she's regaining consciousness" she informed her. 

"Doc, go" Jack insisted. "I'll shoot Mackenzie after." 

"We'll talk later Doctor, for now see to your patient" Hammond insisted. 

Janet nodded to the group gathered in the observation room and left without saying another word. 

Observation Room

She entered and headed straight to Sam's side making a quick glance at the machine readouts. "Hey. How are you feeling?" She asked wearing a fake smile after all she was not happy with the situation and blamed herself for Sam's mishandling. 

"Dr....Dream" she asked under the O2 mask. "What...What happened" Carter asked tiredly. 

"You were hearing voices and having bad nightmares from your last mission. Some kind of alien influence, but we are still working on that," Janet said sadly. "Mackenzie took over your care against my will and transferred you to the Academy Hospital trying to keep me away from you. He introduced a number of narcotics to your system." Janet could say anymore through the tightness in her throat, but she continued to rub Sam's arm. 

"Where..." she brought a tired hand up to pull the mask down, or try to, "Where...am I?" 

"Doctor" Abby said from her spot across from her, "Her vitals are rising again." 

"Sam, calm down, you need to try and keep your vitals leveled. OK?" Janet said softly. "You're back at the SGC. You're home." 

In response the woman passed out as another staff came in and handed her a report, "Major Carter's last lab report, EEG readings, and scan results ma'am" he finished and left. 

"What's it say ma'am" Abby asked as she proceeded to make the woman comfortable, she felt as guilty as Janet did. "How's your hand Doctor?" 

"I'm not the one you should be worried about," Janet snapped. "Her readings are still off the charts. Her brain activity isn't as high as it was earlier, but its still above normal." Janet continued to look over the report some more. "Damn it," she practically yelled using her bad hand to slam it on the table. 

"Ma'am" Washington said and quickly came over lifting Janet's hand to look at it, "Doctor I don't know Major Carter very well, but I know she considers you a friend and having a doctor with a broken hand when she keeps slamming it around isn't gong to help her. You'll find the answer ma'am" she promised rubbing Janet's hand. "Let me rewrap this and then you can sit with her a little while, make you both feel better Doctor." 

"It's not broken," Janet said as she took a seat. 

"No, but keep slamming it around and it will be" the nurse complained and smiled. "You'd have the head of anyone in this base if they had just slammed an injured hand around the way you just did and you know it Doctor." 

Janet mumbled something derogatory about herself trying to keep Abby from hearing. 

But Sam heard, or rather sensed and immediately her eyes opened, "Not your fault" she said with a little more strength. 

Abby spun around and immediately stepped out of the way so she wouldn't be stepped on. 

Janet hopped up out of the chair and moved closer to Sam's bed. "Shhh...get some rest," Janet whispered. "Your body has been through a lot of stress with more to follow." 

"You...just...like to...see me sleep" she said tiredly and opened her eyes, they were tired and more dilated than normal but they were semi clear. With her hand down by the bed she reached up tiredly and took one of Janet's, "Not...your fault...Janet." 

"The reason I like it when you're asleep is that you're less trouble for my staff," Janet joked still ignoring Sam's words. 

"Not me..." she whispered, "The...Colonel" she said squeezing her hand and turned her head barely to stare right at Fraiser. "Say...it's...not...your fault...or no....sleeping...for me." 

"I can always give you a sedative Sam," Janet threatened. 

"So" was the cocky reply. 

Up in the Observation room all the guys smiled, "The Doc brings out the worst in that XO of mine I'm telling you." 

"Just go to sleep Sam. I'll stay right here," Janet promised. 

"Not...until...you...say it" Sam insisted tiredly and would have yawned if not for the O2 mask. 

"Fine," Janet said with no enthusiasm. "Its not my fault." Her voice was flat and devoid of emotion. "There I said it, now please go to sleep," she said much softer full of concern. 

Not believing her Carter started to use the last of her energy to rise among the wires and the tubes going into and onto her. Abby put a hand on her shoulder, "Major you shouldn't be..." 

"Back off" she ordered irrationally and pulled the oxygen mask down, leaving it hanging around her neck and turned to cough, so hard her chest hurt. 

"Sam. Stop," Janet ordered pulling the oxygen mask back into place. "I said what you wanted now sleep." 

"You...didn't mean it...leaving" she said the drugs affecting her mind. 

"Ma'am" Abby began and looked at Janet, the question of restraints clear in her mind. 

"Sam if you don't calm down and stay put I'm going to have to restrain you," Janet warned. 

"You..." she glared at her then, "You...wouldn't...dare" she said and turned tiredly but with renewed energy from the drugs and started yanking off wires, IV's and monitors. 

More staff rushed in as monitors blared and up in the observation room the guys stiffened, "What in hell did Mackenzie pump her full of" Daniel demanded of Jack and Teal'c. They knew they couldn't go in there but they wanted to. 

"Damn it Sam. You left me no choice. Abby get the restraints please," Janet with the help of a few techs kept Sam on the bed till the restraints arrived. While the others held her down Janet secured Sam's arms and legs. "I'm sorry Sam." 

For a day and a half Sam was in and out of consciousness after being restrained, one of the drugs in her system was incredibly resilient and seemed to be reacted with the leftover Naqada in her bloodstream. Since that time SG-1, Janet and Cassandra; who had come in to be with her mom and Aunt Sam, all sat with her over and over again; just hoping and waiting. 

Cassandra found her mom sitting in the isolation room with her hand in Sam's talking with her and she waited before coming in, "Hey mom" she whispered and walked over to kiss her. "How's she doing?" 

"She is still the same," Janet said sadly kissing Cassie. "She has started going through withdrawals. This is the most difficult stage to be in. If she makes it through this she will be fine." Janet looked back at Sam's sleeping form. "Do you want to stay with her? I need to stretch a little." 

"Sure" the girl commented and went over to kiss her Aunt Sam and then took the chair Janet offered, letting her hand replace her moms. "Why don't you get some sleep mom? Sam wouldn't like you pushing yourself too hard." 

"I'm fine Cassie. Just a little stiff from sitting in the chair." She gave Cass a kiss as the girl took her seat. She walked up to the bed to speak. "I'm going to walk around a bit Sam. I'll be back in a little while." With one final look she walked away and left the room. 

Corridor/Infirmary

She passed up and down the hallway for a while and after retrieving a cup of coffee went to stand in the observation room. The more she stood there the more angry she got and decided to head to her office and try to find some answers. 

Medical journals, textbooks and Sam's file occupied the space on her desk. The light box had MRI scans of Sam's brain showing the increased activity in the different regions. Not finding answers Janet just kept getting angrier. After shoving a book of her desk onto the floor she walked up to the wall and punched it trying to relieve some of her frustration. 

"Nice right Doc" Jack O'Neil stated entering her office and sat down a McDonald's bag. "I brought you lunch and should I get a nurse about that hand of yours? You seem more determined than me when I'm angry to break yourself there." 

"Its nothing," Jane snapped. "Thanks for the lunch, but I'm not hungry." For good measure she punched the wall again with the same hand that was already hurt. Why damage the other one when the injured one hurts more to inflict pain on. 

Having enough O'Neil stood up and went over and closed the door, "Fraiser that's damned well enough" he snapped and reached out grabbing her hand mid punch and pushed her toward the sofa. "Sit Doctor. What the hell is the matter with you? Are you crazy?" 

"Maybe I am Sir," Janet snapped in anger. 

"Then you certainly shouldn't be helping Major Carter, I'll just tell Warner to take over" he stated and turned to leave and do just that. 

"Go ahead," Janet pushed. "I can't do a damn thing for her as it is." 

"So that's it" the man said and stopped turning to stare at her and smiled. "The super doctor is realizing she has limitations like the rest of us huh? Sucks don't it? But guess what" Jack stated taking a step forward, "You are helping her, she'd already be dead if not for you Doctor Fraiser and try to remember that. Now I say again, sit or do I pick you up and make you sit" he asked, knowing at his next physical he was going to get a finger up his six for his trouble just in spite of this but... 

"I may have stabilized her when she went into shock but here's a news flash. Any medical person can do that," Janet yelled. "I am the one that is suppose to fix the major problems and I can't." She was furious. "And your right it sucks. It sucks for Sam because she's not out of the woods yet and there is no one here that is capable of helping her. SO DON"T TELL ME TO SIT." 

Leaning back against her door the older man just crossed his arms and looked at his watch, "You will let me know when you are done right? When you're ready to sit, eat the lunch I brought you, and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you're going to be a while I'll just camp out on the floor here and take a nap" he informed her in typical O'Neil style. 

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself so don't you dare say that," Janet threatened. "Go ahead camp out. Why don't you use the couch its more comfortable than the floor to take a nap." 

With a smile he nodded but waited and then finally stood up, walked over and picked her up and then the bag. He plopped her down with her screaming at him and sat the bag beside her before he planted himself right on her lap, "I'm likely going to pay for this at my next physical but I've damn near got you trained Doc and I'm not letting you tear yourself up over something that wasn't your fault. So eat or do I get to try force feeding next" he asked with a grin. "Haven't done that in ages." 

All Janet did was continually beat Jack's back. "Get off me damn it," Janet yelled. 

The man winced and saw Daniel come in and smiled. "Hey Danny Boy." 

"Uh Jack" the man started. 

"Just give us a little while Danny. Doc is helping me pop a disc back," O'Neil told him. 

"Daniel. Get back in here," Janet yelled. "Get him off me." She hit him even harder than before. 

"Uh ok..." the archaeologist said confused. 

"Danny leave...trust me" O'Neil insisted. 

"I'm uh..." he just shook his head and left closing the door. 

"Now Doc, anything you bruise you're going to have to fix so stop hitting me huh," he asked. 

Janet didn't care, she just kept on hitting him all the while yelling. "Daniel. Damn you get back in here. Trust me Colonel is the least of the things I would like to do to you right now," Janet growled. "Now let me go." 

"Not happening Doc," he said getting comfortable on her lap, damn she had bony knees, "You're my friend besides just being the lady who explores my six and jabs me with big honkin needles, I'm not letting you self destruct alone so if you promise to talk to me and eat while we talk I'll move. Do ya promise Doc" Jack asked. 

"Yes. What ever just get the hell off me," Janet yelled waiting for him to move. 

Sliding off her sat beside her and pointed to the bag, "Ok, eat and tell me why you find this your fault Doc" he ordered. "I mean you don't gotta threaten me...I already know I'm paying for this at my next physical so let's just get to the mushy junk and then get back to helping Carter get better." 

"I never said it was my fault," Janet insisted and got up making a quick run for the door and out into her infirmary trying to get away from Jack. 

And she was stopped when he grabbed the tail of her lap coat and pulled her back jumping in front of the door, "Ah, ah Doc. If Sam were here she'd kick my ass if I left you like this...so..." he shrugged. 

"DOCTOR FRAISER TO CRITICAL CARE, DOCTOR FRAISER TO CRITICAL CARE IMMEDIATELY" came the voice over the base. 

"Oh wonderful" O'Neil stated and stepped out of the way, "I'll put the burger in your fridge Doc." 

Observation Room

Janet took of at a dead run to ICU. By the time she made it she was nearly out of breath. "What's going on?" Janet demanded trying to take control of the situation. 

Cassie stepped aside with a grin and sitting up in bed, among the beeping monitors and with the mask over her face was Sam. "She woke up and asked for you mom, I asked Abby if they could unhook her from the restraints until you had seen her." 

"Janet" Sam whispered softly and held out her hand, it shook a little but was more steady. 

"Sam," Janet said softly. "How do you feel?" she asked and pulled out a penlight. 

"Tired, sore...but alive" she promised and pushed her hand forward. "And....in need of a hug" she said softly to her best friend. 

The medical staff and Cassie had made themselves scarce and Jack had shooed everyone out of the observation room, they both needed a little privacy and he called to brief Hammond. 

Janet gave Sam the hug she was asking for. "Any more voices or nightmares?" Janet was still in doctor mode. 

"Oh yeah" she answered holding her best friend for a few seconds before releasing her. "When can...I go home and get rid of this..." she pointed tiredly to the O2 mask. 

Janet released Sam and pulled out her stethoscope. She breathed on the disk trying to warm it a little before pressing it against Sam's chest and back. "Inhale and hold," she instructed followed by and ex-hale then repeat. "Your breathing seems to almost be back to normal," she reached for the O2 mask pulling it off and laying it near the tank. "I think you will be OK without it, but if you start to have problems breathing let me know." She took a deep breath then sighed. "As far as going home. I can't let you until we solve why you are hearing voices and having nightmares and treat it." 

"Dream pooper" she commented with a smile and yawned. "It's...ok. You'll...take care of me Janet" she promised reaching out for her hand again and squeezed it. "I think I'm going to rest for a few minutes...ok?" 

"Yeah rest," Janet repeated a little sadly helping Sam lay down before leaving and heading to the surface for a little fresh air and a walk. 

After waking up and because of the drugs in a room she didn't recognize Sam Carter jumped off the bed, yanking IV's and monitors off. The woman cowered in a corner, sweating and her eyes wild, why were they doing this to her? Why wouldn't they believe her? She wasn't crazy, she...the drugs made it hard to think, hard to maintain control and each time the control slipped the words got louder. 

~Only I can help you! You are the last chance for a dead world~ began the conversation in her mind. 

Shaking her head from side to side the women tried to concentrate as she mumbled, "I...I don't understand...how...how can I help an already dead world?" 

~Through your Stargate...the answer lies in the reprogramming of your Stargate. I am all that remains of a dead world, but you can at least save my energy~ began the voice to explain. ~You started it already. ~ 

Sam was so busy arguing with herself that she didn't hear anyone come in. Sam tried to fight the drugs, fight the images and such coming into her mind but finally she had started to understand...it wasn't easy but she had started to understand and when Janet came by to visit that night she clung to her and pulled them both down on the floor, she was fighting for control and then the voice in her head started to speak she looked up at the ceiling, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP OR I CAN'T EXPLAIN...DAMNED IDIOT" she commented at the top of her voice. 

"Janet" Sam began licking her lips, she looked so unlike herself at the moment, "I...I know what's happening, I know how to fix it, but I have to go back to the base immediately." 

"Sam, you are at the base. Your in one of the ICU rooms," Janet explained. "What do you need to do at the base?" She questioned, not really intending to let Sam go. 

"Explain what's going on and...." she scrunched up her face like she was listening to someone talk and nodded. "I...I need to brief everyone Janet, get me a uniform." 

"Sam, I can't let you leave in the condition you are in," Janet said firmly intent on restraining Sam again if she had to. 

Sighing the woman listened to the voice yell in her head and she looked up again, "EITHER SHUT UP OR TELL HER YOURSELF" she hollered and looked at Fraiser. "Janet, I just need long enough to conduct a briefing, then we'll come back. I won't...leave your side the entire time, I promise." 

"Sam, if something goes wrong you need to be here," Janet persisted. 

"Janet" the woman tried and reached out squeezing her arm, "I promise you...I'll be fine. Please?" 

Janet dropped her head closing her eyes to think this through. It was several minutes later when she spoke. "You have thirty minutes, nothing more and you can wear a pair of scrubs." 

"Thank you" she promised and leaned over hugging the woman tiredly, she was still so tired lately. "You can even wheel me since my foot hurts." 

"Good cause that's the only way you are getting there," Janet said her hand throbbing a little. ~Must be time for more aspirin~ she thought. 

"Uh Major, Doctor" one of the techs interrupted. "Could I help you both back to seats? It looks bad on us junior staff when the patients and the CMO plop down in a corner ma'ams." 

"It's all the Doctor's fault Sergeant" Carter stated with a smile. "And listen Janet, was it necessary for you to go poking around my uni while I slept?" 

Janet didn't bother replying to Sam's remark just brought in a pair of scrubs and a wheel chair. "I notified the General and SG-1 should all be in the briefing room," Janet informed. "So as soon as you're changed and ready we can head up there." 

"Uh oh..." she started sitting on the side of the bed as a technician was unhooking all the wires. "She didn't comment on my uni comment...that means she's going to go poking around later. Maybe I can just pretend it's a nightmare," she asked looking at Fraiser with a smile. 

Janet shook her head and threw the clothes at her. "Hurry up," she said. 

"Bossy old..." 

"Uh Major" the tech interrupted. "I've only been here a short while ma'am but if you like all your body parts in their current working order you may not wish to finish that sentence" she offered with a smile. 

Shaking her head Sam glanced at Fraiser, "You're corrupting your staff. How am I supposed to help the Colonel drive you crazy through them when you won't let me corrupt them to begin with?" 

"Just get dressed," Janet said as the tech finished and left. 

"Uh" Sam began slowly, "I might need a little help here Janet, I'm sore and really tired. Can you..." the words trailed off gently. 

Janet approached the bed and helped Sam first put on the top then the pants. After wards she moved her into the wheel chair. "Ready?" She asked. 

"Yep" she answered and yawned. "Half an hour, got it. Let's go." 

Briefing Room

The woman found herself in scrubs and staring at SG-1 and Hammond as well as Fraiser, "Sir" she said rising and moved a little more steadily toward the front of the room so she could address everyone at once. The voices were a little easier to control after several days of talking with them and they now understood she was trying to help, "We can discuss the Mackenzie situation at a later time but if you don't mind I think the voice in my head is a little more urgent at the moment. This is going to be a little complicated and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it myself but basically the last planet that SG-1 visited, PX5-990 held an extremely advanced society which the Goa'uld wiped out." 

"Sam" Daniel interrupted, "We've already determined this based on the..." 

"Just bear with me Daniel" Carter said and continued. "This society, or mainly one man in it named Y'Lair, understood the Stargate a lot more than we did. As you all know" Sam began, "In order for the Stargate to be able to reintegrate matter there has to be a connection between two gates but it's actually the gate on the receiving end that..." 

"CARTER" Jack O'Neil hollered holding up his hand, "My head, please. Just bottom line this." 

Pausing to lean forward and take a glass of water for a drink the woman nodded and cleared her throat, "Sorry Sir. The Stargate has the ability, when not established with another wormhole; to store the intelligence or the soul in it's massive memory. Now this means that when the end was near Y'Lair stepped into the gate on PX5..." 

"Ah, ah" the Colonel commented. 

"He stepped into the Stargate and was never re energized. When we visited that world our patterns were stored until we were reconstructed on the receiving side of the gate. During that time Y'Lair found my brain to be the most 'complex" she began the last half with a smile, "Of those that visited. When we came back through he came with us." 

"No one came back with us Major Carter" Teal'c intoned. 

"Not physically Teal'c, no. But..." Sam tapped her own head. 

"HE'S in your head" Jack O'Neil stated and looked at Daniel and then the CMO, "So how do we get him out?" 

"I don't know that Sir, but I think either Major Carter has that answer or Y'Lair does," Janet stated paying full attention to the briefing as well as Sam's health. 

Sighing as she resumed her seat by Fraiser the woman shrugged and leaned back, "From what Y'Lair told me we have to go back to the planet and establish a wormhole, say to Earth but at just the right time we'll need to deliver a high charge to our gate that will cut it off mid transport" she said knowing the reactions that would get. 

"Carter are you nuts" Jack O'Neil demanded. "You're dead then." 

"I'm sorry Major but you have to find another way," Hammond firmly said. "You life will not be lost in this situation. That is unacceptable." 

Janet just remained silent and watched everything unfold. 

"Not necessarily Sir" she finished. "At that point in time I will have shown Doctor Fraiser how to tap into the gate systems and where to monitor what are called EEG waves..." 

"Brain waves" Daniel interrupted. 

"That's right" Sam explained. "Once you find me you simply re route the connection through to the integration program, reestablish a link with our gate from the planet and I should step out unharmed." 

"This is a big risk Major," Hammond continued to say. "I still want you to find an alternative way." 

"With all due respect General I don't think we have time" she admitted and looked at Fraiser. "I don't know the exact numbers or the significance but it's getting harder and harder to get Y'Lair to shut up and basically hold myself in this reality. If we don't try something soon I could very well end up as Doctor Mackenzie originally diagnosed." 

"NOT happening Carter" O'Neil stated and looked at Janet. "Any idea if how long we have Doc or even if what she proposed is possible?" 

"I don't understand the gate system so I can't even begin to speculate if her theory is sound," Janet said. "And as far as how much longer she will have before her personality is over powered, it's hard to say. It could be anywhere from hours to days, even weeks." Janet was not happy and it showed. She never liked it when a patient's life was at stake like Sam's was at the moment. 

Either way she was damned if she did or she damned if she didn't. 

"Well there has to be another way Major Carter and...." the General began. 

Frustrated Sam closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath, it was really a pain in the ass to have some hocked off alien in your brain, "General" she began opening her eyes, "With respect Sir, I'm the expert on the gate systems. This isn't like Jolinar, they aren't just in there as a word or a phrase now and then but they are causing nightmares, heighten physical aspects according to Janet. So far I've been lucky but it was a high-powered charge through the gate that blended this 'consciousness' for lack of a better word with mine. I don't know of another way to get him out and I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with him Sir." 

"Major do you see no other way?" Hammond asked considering her proposal. 

~He's a bit dense isn't he~ the voice inside her mind asked and she rolled her eyes, "Yes he is" she answered verbally and cleared her throat. "Sorry General. Sir I can't see any right now but I admit that Y'Lair's knowledge about the gate system, and what has happened far exceeds my own. To answer your question I need to ask Doctor Fraiser something first." 

"Go ahead" Hammond ordered. 

With a nod the blond woman turned to Janet, "According to my medical profiles I've had success with hypnosis before. Is there any type of hypnosis or something I could try to better access and control Y'Lair's memories and impressions in my mind Janet?" 

"We can try to hypnotize you like we did when SG-1 thought Daniel had died. That uncovered the actual memories and not the fake one. I don't see why it wouldn't work this time." Janet answered truthfully. "I personally can't put you under, but I have a friend, all that's needed is to get her cleared." 

Turning back to face Hammond the woman nodded, "Sir I'd like to try that. In the meantime while the Doctor's friend is cleared security wise I can start setting up what needs done on our gate for the high energy charge as well as working out the time tables we'll need. Since we won't be in communication we are going to have to be precise as to when to bombard our gate with the energy and cut it off." 

"Carter are you sure" the Colonel asked. 

"Sam we can find another way..." Daniel began. 

"I don't think we can Daniel. Unless Janet or one of you has an idea this is the best I've got." 

"I believe the Major is correct," Teal'c spoke. "It is better to die trying than to go crazy." 

"I don't see that we have another option Sir" Sam stated. "Janet can monitor me closely during the hypnosis and if Y'Lair knows another way I think he'll tell me...he is actually very talkative Sir. I don't know if it's possible to voluntarily suppress my personality or consciousness so he could take over and communicate directly or not. The Doctor would know better than me in that area." 

"Doc" O'Neil asked, "Is there a way we could talk to this thing?" 

"It would depend on how well the hypnosis takes. If she truly goes under than yes we should be able to talk directly to the alien consciousness," Janet didn't like this at all. 

"Can this be accomplished by other means?" Teal'c asked. "Medications, perhaps?" 

"You want to drug Sam" Daniel asked shaking his head. "Teal'c that..." 

"It is only a question Daniel Jackson." 

"I don't even want to try using medications," Janet stated. "Her system just finished suffering a huge shock due to being drugged and repeating that could create more complications." 

"So your best guess is hypnosis as a viable option then" Hammond asked the woman. 

"Yes," Janet answered. "I'm afraid so." 

"Actually Sir" Carter interrupted thinking, "There maybe a second option. I don't know the technical name for it but right before a human enters into what is called an REM sleep cycle..." 

"What's that?" Jack O'Neil asked. 

"It's the period of time when a person dreams Colonel" Fraiser volunteered. 

"Right before they enter that dream state suggestions are very powerful, almost like a state of deep hypnosis Sir. A group I worked with at the Pentagon was exploring this for Lucid Dream Recall and it had worked in a lot of cases." 

"Its up to you Sam, which one you want to try," Janet said. 

"How complicated and risky is this second option Major" the General asked looking at his officer intently. 

"Actually Sir about the same as hypnosis would be my guess" she volunteered as Y'Lair got louder she fought to ignore him. "Doctor Fraiser could conduct most, if not all of it. In the second option the main key, if I recall my facts right, is that the subject be relaxed. Janet would take my through some relaxation exercises, I'd recommend it be just us and probably in my quarters. At the right time, once she knows I'm near the REM cycle she makes the suggestion to let Y'Lair speak and if it works my subconscious will do the rest. The trick is getting me back after Y'Lair has his say Sir." 

"And how would you manage that Major?" Hammond asked as all eyes focused on Sam. 

"Actually Sir" she admitted and leaned back in the chair tiredly shrugging. "I transferred out to another project before we got that far. Janet any ideas on how we get me back? Would my subconscious just bring me back to the forefront once I woke up again?" 

"We would need you to focus on things important to you. Things to help guide your subconscious," Janet said. "In theory that is. I don't know to much about this area." 

"What's the name of the hypnotist you know Doctor Fraiser" Hammond asked all eyes now on him. "We'll prepare for both possibilities and then the Major and Doctor Fraiser can decide jointly which to try first. Major you can also begin your calculations but no changes will be made to the gate system at this time." 

"Yes Sir" Sam said with a nod. "I understand General." 

"Ms. Lynn Arnold," Janet said. "She works primarily out of Colorado but has traveled to other cities. She is known as a psychiatrist and the one to take the odd cases. So she should fit right in. General, I would also like to recommend considering her to take over Mackenzie's position. Even though she is none military I believe she would be a great addition to our little family." 

"How long have you known her Doctor?" the man asked seriously. "As you know our staff do consult on occasion but as chief psychologist she would mainly be on staff here and the Academy Hospital, just as you are." 

"I understand that General and I don't think she would have a problem with it," Janet said honestly. "And as far as how long I have known her. Well since grad school. We attended the same university and basic medical classes." 

"I'll consider your recommendation Doctor but for now she'll be here by the end of the day to help with the situation as needed for Major Carter," he stated. 

"Thank you Sir" Sam said with a nod. "I...I should be getting back to the Infirmary General. Y'Lair is yelling at the moment and he's giving me a major headache." 

"Thank you General," Janet said. "That's all I could ask you to do." She stood then helped Sam to get into the chair and began to make her way to the door. 

Corridor/Elevator

As they waited for the elevator Carter yawned and covered her mouth, "Thank you for letting me hold the briefing Janet, I know you didn't want to." 

"It's fine Sam," Janet said as they entered the elevator. "Why don't you push the button, you're about the right height for it now." 

"You shouldn't pick on the sick Doctor, it's not nice" she answered jokingly and leaned forward hitting level twenty-one. "I'm going to need my laptop from my lab so I can work on the calculations and then you and I need to set through some virtual gate simulations so I can show you how to interface the EEG monitor and what to look for." 

"I want Doctor Warner to be present during that," Janet said. "In case something should happen and I can't follow through, this way there is a second person that knows what to do." 

She nodded and then glanced up smiling, "I can play teacher to two instead of one" she promised with a wink. "I understand it's you I have to thank for getting me back. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about what I was planning with Mackenzie, the guys wanted to and the General but I told them not to. How's your hand?" 

"Hurts, but its not important," Janet said. "So I guess the guys told you what I did then? That I lost control." 

"No, they told me you were protecting a patient and a friend and hit Mackenzie before the Colonel shot him" she admitted slowly. "Thank you for that by the way and your hand is important, I also wish you would agree to go rest with Cassie while I work on my calculations." 

"I'm not tired. I'll rest then and only then," Janet said. "So they did tell you I hit him. Well I lost control when I shouldn't have. It could have been far worse and if charges are ever pressed well I won't be your doctor any more." Janet was usually proud of herself, very few things she has done has she regretted and this is one of them. It could cost her everything, her job, her position, and most importantly her family. 

"He won't file charges" Carter promised, "The Colonel and I already took care of that Janet," she admitted as the chair was pushed. "Let's just say that he had a bad habit of bragging about some things and I wasn't as unconscious as he thought I was." 

"I'm not worried about Mackenzie filing the charges but eventually what I did will become public," Janet said. "And then any number of suits can be made." 

She drifted off for a while just pushing Sam. "What is going to happen to him anyways?" 

"No idea, but I really don't care" she admitted and brought a hand back over top of one of Janet's. "If you hadn't come back when you did Janet he could have killed me. You saved my life and I thank you for that." 

"I shouldn't have left you to begin with," Janet sighed. "I had a bad feeling the moment he tried to take you. That's why I traveled with you to the hospital. I should have stayed." 

"And if you had" Sam began as they neared the isolation room again, "He wouldn't have done anything and would still be out there to hurt some other young woman. I'm not sorry that he's stopped Janet and I'm not sorry I helped stop him but I am sorry you feel so horrible about it." 

"I'm not sorry he was stopped either," Janet admitted. "I just wished that you don't have to suffer." She fell silent after that trying to control the emotions coursing through her. 

Observation Room

Silently Carter endured Fraiser getting her back to bed and hooked back up and into everything but when Janet went to pull away Sam held her hand tightly and turned tired, but determined blue eyes on her, "Stay with me, please Janet." 

"Sure," Janet said as she pulled the chair closer to the bed and took a seat. 

The Major shook her blond head and scooted over patting the bed, she had a spot to sit if she wanted to, "Just until I fall asleep ok?" 

"I'm fine here Sam," Janet said not meeting her eyes, but stroked the back of her hand. 

A bit disappointed the woman just nodded and closed her eyes. ~Why don't you talk to her? ~ Y'Lair asked. 

~Because she doesn't want to talk to me, I remind her of what she did to that idiot Mackenzie~ 

~She's simply scared for you Samantha, why else would she be upset~ 

The EEG showed the increasing brain activity as communication happened between Sam and Y'Lair. 

Janet milled around checking her patient. "I'm going to be in my office. If you need anything Sam have a nurse get me," Janet said before walking away. 

Infirmary

Later that night Janet, Sam and Warner were going over a virtual model of the gate so they could interface the EEG when Abby came in, "Doctor Fraiser, the General called down and said that Miss Arnolds is on her way down and she'd meet you in your office. He said he's already explained most of the SGC to her and she seemed ok but you may want to have something 'handy' incase you thought she needed it ma'am," she offered. 

Sam yawned and glanced at Warner, "If you guys want to take a break we can continue in a little while? I know Janet isn't going to let me try anything until after I've eaten again anyway." 

"Taking a break is a good idea," Janet said. "I will have something from the commissary brought for you Sam. Try to get some sleep in the mean time." As she dismissed everyone Janet sat back in her chair and tried to rub the tension knots forming in her neck and shoulders. 

"What have I told you about rubbing your own neck Doctor" came the voice of Lynn Arnolds as an SF led her into the office. The woman was several inches taller than Fraiser and she had brown hair as well as a slightly overweight frame but only by ten pounds or so and smiled with a nod. "It's great to see you Janet. Though I must admit you got yourself a bit of a weird group here, aliens huh?" 

"Lynn," Janet smiled standing and giving her long time friend a hug. "It's been a little while. How are you? And you don't know the half of it." 

Hugging the woman she saw the SF leave and pulled back with a wide grin holding Janet's hands tightly, "It's been ok, a little busy but I'm sure you if anyone understand that" she promised. "General Hammond wasted little time in getting me out here. I was testifying at a trial and he managed to get a postponement and flew me out here on a special Lear jet; I had a military escort the entire time as well as access to a copy of what's going on out here" she said getting right to the point. "So how receptive do you believe Major Carter will be to hypnosis?" 

"Well we managed to use it once before on her," Janet said truthfully. "She had a different set of memories given to her about an event. The hypnosis helped uncover the actual event that took place. Are you hungry or need to rest?" Janet asked. "Otherwise we can talk or I can take you too my patient." 

"Hungry is a yes" she proclaimed releasing her friend's hands. "I slept on the plane, it's a long flight from New York. I did have one other question though, but you better feed me at the same time" she stated with a wink to her friend. 

Commissary

Janet led the way out of the infirmary and to the commissary. "I have to warn you," Janet said. "The food is not the greatest. Actually its just not even good." She picked things out for her to eat plus some items for Sam. She stopped an Airman walking by. "Can you deliver these items to the infirmary for Major Carter please?" Janet asked. 

The man took the tray and nodded, "Sure thing Doctor. Have a nice day ma'am" he answered and left. 

Lynn looked at her own tray, she'd gotten a lot but she hadn't eaten since last night either, "At this point trust me a raw elephant would taste good, I haven't eaten since last night. She likes blue jello huh? I am more an orange woman myself Janet." 

Janet laughed. "Yeah, but the blue jello I will bring in personally. Otherwise she won't eat the actually food." Janet moved to a table and took a seat. "So what's this question you have for me?" 

Sitting down Lynn took a couple bites first and smiled, "Tastes heavenly to me," she commented over a bite of whatever the meat was. "Anyway why aren't you doing the hypnosis with Major Carter? She knows you and why you aren't formally trained in it I'm guessing she trusts you." 

"She does, but this is something that I am not qualified in," Janet said with a sign. "It's a very complicated situation and I am more needed to monitor her vitals and be on hand should something go wrong." Janet took a couple of bits of her food. Not really hungry but knowing she should eat. 

"You're going to have a bigger job than that" Arnold told her and took another bite wiping her mouth with her napkin. "If I understand what I read Janet, and mind you it was a lot to take in, Major Carter is going to have to be put under hypnosis very deeply, suppressing her personality almost completely. I can't give guarantees that she will respond to me to come back but she may you. In the end you or another of her friends if you think that appropriate" she said picking up her tea, "Could be the only thing that gets her back to the here and now." 

"Well right now I am trying to keep the rest of the team out of it," Janet said. "Even though they are close Sam's a very private person." She signed before continuing. "I am not even sure she wants me to be around for this." 

"What makes you say that" Lynn asked and resumed eating watching the doctor. 

Janet took a drink of her ice tea. "We have been really good friends, Sam and me that is, but lately she seems more distant around me." She took another drink. "I know that this is a lot for her to take in and understand but I have always been a shoulder to cry on. I guess since I'm not for this it seems like something is wrong with our friendship." 

Wiping her mouth again and picking up her tea the woman sat back and thought a moment and nodded, "All right, has anything happened before this whole alien in the brain thing that could have strained or been misunderstood by either of you?" 

"That's the thing," Janet said a little to loudly before lowering her voice. "Everything had been fine leading up to this incident. So I just don't know. I know there has been nothing she has done to me to affect the friendship. And I thought that everything I had done was good, but maybe not. I just don't know." 

"Then talk to her" she insisted and resumed eating and paused again to chew. "Her mind, everything she is has to be focused on what we are going to do Janet, that means I won't even attempt this until whatever issue is going on is resolved. If you like I can be there and we can conduct is a counseling session but I suspect Major Carter wouldn't be comfortable with that." 

"I have tried to talk with her," Janet said. "But she keeps insisting that everything except for the alien entity in her brain is fine. And you're right she wouldn't like the counseling session." Janet lowered her head gazing at her plate of food and continued to move items around. "I'm just at the end of my line." 

"You shouldn't play with your food" the woman commented and glanced up. "Janet listen, I know how hard you take it when something upsets a friendship. I'll be fine here and will join you soon, you're obviously not hungry so go talk to her, tell her how you feel. You might be surprised how much a little honesty works" Lynn advised and started eating again. "Mmm....this is good." 

"I don't know what to say," Janet admitted quietly. 

Sitting back and wiping her mouth the woman smiled, "You always said that and yet you knew exactly what to say. If you want I can give you a script Janet." 

"I'm not sure even a script can help," Janet said. 

And that's when Janet saw her; Sam came in still in her Infirmary scrubs and short of monitors. She looked around and headed right for them, "Janet" she insisted, "I'm assuming this is Doctor Arnolds. Nice to meet you." 

Wiping her mouth the psychiatrist nodded and took her hand, "You too Major. You're welcome to join us though any minute I suspect you're going to hear..." 

"You know you are not supposed to leave the infirmary," Janet said firmly. "Under no circumstances." Janet pushed her plate away and began to stand. "You really need to listen to medical advice." 

"I am and I had an idea" Carter began and put a hand on her shoulder taking a seat tiredly as Y'Lair yapped in her head. "Listen, on my EEG readings are you picking up just my readings or Y'Lair's too?" 

"Major, Doctor perhaps I should..." Lynn stated and picked up her plate to leave. 

"Stay please," Janet, said raising a hand. "You should hear this as too. Both, it's just like when you and Jolinar inhabited your body. But I don't understand..." Janet was trying to finish her sentence but never got the chance. 

"Excellent" Sam said excited and smiled, "Doesn't the Academy Hospital have a sensory deprivation tank?" 

"Major" Arnolds began professionally as she sat down, "I know I'm the guest at this party but those tanks leave you feeling, for lack of a better term, dead and they seriously depress your vital signs almost putting you into a state of deep hibernation." 

"EXACTLY" she said glancing at Lynn and then Fraiser. "Is there a way, that if you both of our EEG readings were accessible at the same time, in other words so you could manipulate both, that you could separate Y'Lair's out?" 

"Sam. I don't even think that's theoretically possible," Janet said. "When Hammond told you to find another way. I think her was saying find another less dangerous way." 

"Janet you don't' understand" the woman said removing her hand from her shoulder and reached out gripping her hand and resting both on top of it. "When I said Y'Lair was ahead of us in understanding gate technology I was wrong. He was a scientist but not the type I thought" she insisted. "When he stepped into the event horizon he was trying to commit suicide, not save himself. He wants to die." 

That got Arnold's attention, the food now forgotten and looked at Fraiser, "She has an alien in her head that wants to die?" 

"Oh god," Janet said and closed her eyes. "But using the deprivation tank won't only kill him but you in the process." 

"Not exactly" Sam said squeezing the hand. "We can bring the tank here, hook it up in the gate room and then run an interface between it and the gate. After I've been in long enough, and I'm hoping Y'Lair and you guys will know when that is his energy will travel back to the gate and then all you have to do is bring me out of the tank. We dial the gate to a world we know uninhabited and the 'buffer' is cleared meaning Y'Lair dies like he wants. The trick" she said thinking a mile a minute, "Is that you're going to have to monitor the EEG and not bring me out until it's only my readings, too soon and Y'Lair could still be there." 

"Major do you understand what you're asking" Arnold's ask. "It's a hell of a risk and...." 

"Give me another option then" Sam insisted. 

"Damn it Sam," Janet muttered. "This is worse than the last idea you had. Your life is in even more jeopardy going into the tank that it is going into the gate." 

"Well none of the options are good ones Janet but I'm out of ideas," she snapped. 

"Doctor, Major may I suggest you two go somewhere else to talk about this" she insisted. "And for the record Major she's right, it is really dangerous." 

"I'm aware of that" Sam insisted. 

"Enough," Janet yelled ad stood up before anyone could stop her and stormed out of the commissary. 

Infirmary

It was a few minutes later when she slammed the door to her office and sat heavily in her chair. 

And ten minutes after that Sam came in closing the door and sat, "What's wrong? I know you're worried Janet but..." 

"Sam I'm beyond worried," Janet huffed. "There is no solution where you are not forfeiting your life to." 

"Risking my life Janet, there is a different" she stressed and sighed. "I'm not going to die Janet, I promise you...no matter what we try. But we have to try something, besides I have special things to fight for" she offered with a smile. "Listen why don't we just try that dream stuff you and I were going to do first? After that we can try the hypnosis if you think it could help. Maybe we'll come up with another option then." 

Janet slammed her hands down on her desk palm down. "No matter how much I try to analyze each solution we come up with I still see the same outcome," Janet stopped taking a moment to calm herself. "Anyway you look at it, there is a slim chance that you will live through this." 

"Slim isn't none Janet" she insisted just as forcefully and came over to kneel down and turned her friend to face her. "Lynn told me, or hinted at what was going on and you should know I'm not mad at you and I want...I need you with me through this Janet; you're one of the things I'll be fighting for because I don't want to leave my best friend yet." 

"You already know that whenever you need me I will be there," Janet said and looked away. 

Bringing her hands up Sam rested them on Janet's knees, "Then I need you now Janet. I'm terrified to be honest, of all of it but I know I don't want to listen to this guy talking in my head for the rest of my life" she promised. 

Janet nodded. "What do you need me to do," she said her voice barely above a whisper. 

"Be there, no matter what happens and a hug," she said almost too softy to hear. 

Janet gave Sam her hug. "I wish you would stop getting alien entities in your head." 

Chuckling lightly the woman rubbed her friend's back and pulled back, "I wish I knew how. Maybe we could write a sign and hang it on my forehead." 

"Something along the lines of No Stopping Here," Janet offered. 

"Something alone those lines yes" she offered getting up as Fraiser's phone rang. "You better answer that Janet." 

"Fraiser her," she answered as she looked at Sam. 

And Lynn's sing song voice greeted her, "I know it's a hindrance but do you two think you can stop being all friendly, mushy, mushy in here and get out here so we can get to work? The General told me I only had so long before I had to give him an opinion and I haven't even talked with you or the Major in detail yet Doctor. So in other words...GET OUT HERE" she hollered sweetly and hung the phone up. 

"Sam that's are cue to get out of here," Janet said with a smile. "Apparently there are people we need to see and things we need to do." 

"Someone is always wanting to interrupt my relaxing with friends" she joked and nodded. 

Carter Quarters

Hours later after briefing SG-1 and Hammond the three woman were in Sam's quarters and Lynn was explaining about the dream recall they were going to try first, "Ok, this isn't hypnosis" she insisted to both. "Janet you said you'd done this before so it should be easy, just at the right time on the monitors make the right suggestions and Sam's subconscious should respond. I'll be monitoring from your office if anything goes wrong." 

"Sounds good to me" Carter said smiling and winked at her friend. "Say hi to Y'Lair for me when you talk to him Janet." 

Janet nodded understanding what Lynn was saying. "What do you want to use as the suggestive events or words?" Janet asked. 

"Whatever you think will work, you know her better than I do Doctor Fraiser" she promised and patted the woman's shoulder. "Good luck ladies" and the left. 

Sam shifted under the wires and monitors around her bed and smiled, "Guess we should get started huh?" 

"Before we do Sam I want to make sure this is what you want to do?" Janet said full of concern. 

"I trust you Janet," she said with a nod meeting her eyes. "If Y'Lair knows another way and he can read my mind as easily as he says then he'll tell you before anyone else so if there is a safe way to do this you'll find it." 

"Ok. Lets get started," Janet said softly. "Close your eyes and clear your mind of everything except my voice." As Janet started to put Sam under with the help of Lynn she kept stroking Sam's hair back off her forehead. 

Briefing Room

It was the next afternoon that Sam, Doctors Fraiser and Arnolds, SG-1 and Hammond were together discussing the results of the dream analysis and the hypnosis and right now Lynn was giving her report, "Major Carter is highly cooperative to both hypnosis and Doctor Fraiser personally, she went under both times in only minutes of getting started as long as Janet was present, when she wasn't it took longer and with more effort." 

"That's not surprising" Daniel admitted, "With as closely as Sam and Janet are in friendships and knowledge." 

"Very true Daniel" Sam insisted; "However that's also what gave us another idea, though it isn't going to be pleasant for me. Do you all remember how I acted so contrary when Jolinar inhabited my mind? And how she gave her life for mine?" 

"I think I speak for all of use here Major, that it is something we can't forget," Hammond said. "Please continue." 

"You and me both at times Sir," she offered shifting in the chair, at least now she was in uniform. "Anyway as I told Doctor Fraiser earlier in the commissary, I was wrong in that Y'Lair was a scientist; he was the last person of a long dead race and he stepped into the Stargate willingly knowing it didn't lead anywhere..." 

"You mean suicide," Jack O'Neil asked. 

She nodded slowly, "He didn't want to live alone Colonel, couldn't face the fact that he was the only one left of his race." 

"So you have a suicidal alien in your head Carter" her CO asked and rolled his eyes, "Just great." 

"Actually it is" Carter said with a nod. "Doctor Fraiser and I talked over the options we had and why we still use the gate the fact of the EEG is irrelevant at this point." 

Janet interrupted before O'Neil could start asking more stupid questions. "It makes things a lot easier. Since Y'Lair willingly wants to die all that needs to be monitored is Sam's vitals and EEG. Once the second set of brain waves has stopped existing then Sam is revived." Janet had a better feeling about this now that she talked with Sam and they worked things through. 

"But" Carter interjected at this point, "We still have to go back to the planet and proceed as before with the energy surge cutting off the gate. We've interfaced an EEG monitor to our gate here so we know it can be done and Doctor Fraiser and Doctor Warner will be monitoring for my pattern on each side. Once the gate cuts off it's imperative that those on the planet dial back immediately. We can't have the SGC dial out or else my pattern would never re-integrate." 

"Carter you're talking about loosing yourself in the gate. Are you guy's nuts? There has to be..." 

"Sir there isn't" Sam insisted and looked at Hammond. "It will take me at least another twelve hours before I have the timings finalized Sir." 

"Are you sure this is the only way Major, Doctors?" Hammond asked concerned for his officers. 

"It seems to be Sir, yes," Carter informed him with a nod. 

"I'm no expert on gate technology, hell I can't even say I've seen it operate General. All I can tell you is there is no psychological treatment I know of to treat this" Lynn Arnolds volunteered; she was obviously still slightly overwhelmed. "As for medical concerns and opinions that's Doctor Fraiser's area, not mine Sir." 

"Sir, this is the only solution that is acceptable aside from killing Major Carter and that's not an option," Janet said sternly. "Out of all the different scenarios we looked at, this is the safest. She will be monitored from both sides of the gate." 

"All right" he stated with a nod, "You have a go then, you leave in fourteen hours" he ordered. 

"General" Lynn interrupted, "Sir you'll need to be sure that Major Carter is kept under guard until that time. She is at risk to be influenced by a man that wants to kill himself, if he is determined he could talk her into doing that." 

"NO, he won't" Sam insisted and looked at Janet, did she agree with that or not? 

"Major Carter isn't that easily influence," Janet stated not sure if this was the right thing to do or not. Then again she wasn't sure if she believed Sam's words. "But it is a safety precaution." 

"General I..." 

The older man shook his head, "Major I don't need some alien influence talking you into jumping off the mountain. Keep an SF or one of the doctors with you. Dismissed" he ordered standing up and motioned O'Neil to follow him. 

"Wonderful" Sam said shaking her head and looked at the four people around the table. "Who wants to play babysitter while I go work in the control room?" 

"Sam, it's not like that and you know it," Janet said her voice hard. 

Sighing the woman nodded, "Fine, who wants to keep me company while I go work in the control room?" 

"I can accompany you Major Carter" Teal'c commented. "Unless Doctor Fraiser or Doctor Arnolds wished the honor." 

"Teal'c, that will be fine," Janet said. "I have to check on the equipment before the jump." Janet stood and began to leave. 

Gate Room

Fourteen hours later a rested SG-1 plus Doctor Janet Fraiser stood in the gate room as the chevrons locked. Lynn Arnolds had accepted the offer to take over for Mackenzie and was watching from the control room. The guys looked unsure about this and Carter was standing with Janet and her equipment as Warner got set up on his end. Twisting her neck a little the woman put her watch in synch with the time in the control room and then walked over to the side of the Stargate to check the energy connections again before the wormhole formed. Finding everything in order she came back and waited, "I'll be fine guys, take it easy." 

"Easy for you to say Carter," O'Neil grumbled. 

"Are you sure you want me jump with you and not remain here?" Janet questioned. 

Giving her attention to Fraiser she nodded, "Yes because it's very important that you don't let the team reestablish the wormhole until you know my current EEG patter is within the Stargate network, you're the best one to determine that." 

"Alright," Janet said. "Shall we?" She gestured to the open warm hole. 

Off World

"I guess" she commented as they moved out. Exiting out on the other side Sam helped the guys secure the area and then led Janet over to a side panel and pulled it off, "Let's get the EEG monitor hooked up. Once we have a connection you should be able to tell if it's right because it should have all our patterns in it as the last people through the gate." 

Janet watched as Sam began connecting the monitor to the DHD. "You really think this will work?" She asked her voice low so the guys couldn't hear. 

"I hope so" she said from underneath device and connected the last connection. "You should be able to see patterns now, do you recognize them?" 

"Yes," Janet said. "They belong to us." There was a brief pause before she asked another question. "So how long after I find your signal should we redial SGC? What are we going to do with the monitor hooked up?" 

Sliding out Sam put the cover back on and gave her CO a thumbs up before standing up, "Well we've got two hours, you'll need to monitor until after I've stepped through and confirm that my EEG pattern is the only one present. Then you tell the guys to dial and hopefully the Stargate will do the rest" she said shifting her weapon back around to the front. "As for what we do for that two hours, I intend first to find a place to pee," she stated good-naturedly. 

Janet shook her head at her friend's antics and watched her walk away before returning her attention to the monitor. 

A little over two hours later Carter looked at her watch and unhooked it handing it to O'Neil, "Well Sir, that is on a countdown. You'll need to countdown from ten after the wormhole forms. The SGC is on the same time and they know when I'm stepping through; the charge will be delivered at the same time and cut the gate off from their end." 

"Are you sure about this Carter?" O'Neil asked taking the watch. 

"Don't you consider it kind of late to ask me that Sir" she joked and glanced at her team. "Yes Sir, I'm sure. If it doesn't work ...well it was an honor serving with all of you Colonel." 

"Don't go saying things like that Carter," O'Neil said angrily. "You said this would work." He glanced at the watch again. "10" 

The wormhole whooshed to life and Sam glanced over her shoulder at it, "See you soon Sir" and headed up the steps. Standing in front of the wormhole and listening to the Colonel's voice over her radio Major Sam Carter was nervous and at three she turned to the left and met Janet's eyes feeling the strength, "See you on the other side" she said and then at 0 stepped through. 

SGC Complex  
Control Room

At the SGC Siler looked up and at the General's nod he and Parker started the transfer. Sparks shot from the gate and then the wormhole and the lights in the gate room went out before coming back on, "We've lost the wormhole General" he reported, now they waited. 

Off World

Janet looked at the EEG on the monitor waiting for Sam's to be the only one showing. Y'Lair was turning out to be a resilient pain in the ass as far as she was concerned. Still he was present after ten minutes. 

O'Neil and the team ran over to Fraiser who was studying an EEG reading, "Well" the man demanded hurriedly tightening his grip on Carter's watch. "Is she in there or what Doc?" 

"She is there Sir," Janet said but sadly added. "The problem is that Y'Lair is not dying. I am still reading his pattern as well." 

"Stubborn little booger is he" the man asked and looked at Daniel. "Can you hook up that charge thing that Carter was telling us about? Maybe if we shock his ass he'll take a hike?" 

"Jack, she only mentioned that as an emergency contingency, she wasn't sure how the gate would response" he explained looking at the man curiously. "If it shorts out something we have no way to fix it here and no way to get home." 

"What are you talking about? Shocking what?" Janet asked her voice slightly panicked. 

"Sam mentioned incase Y'Lair was having second thoughts that we could try delivering a high energy electrical charge to the gate. Theoretically she said it should be high enough to make his weaker pattern dissipate and...." Jackson started to explain. 

"It was a contingency plan Doc" O'Neil stated and looked at her. "Do you have another option to get them apart?" 

"No, I don't but there is no telling what a shock like that could do to Sam," Janet yelled. 

"Hopefully nothing but jostle her around Doc" the Colonel said and looked at Daniel. "Do it." 

Daniel sighed and motioned Teal'c with him running over to the gate to start hooking up wires and such as Sam had explained earlier in the team briefing. 

"No," Janet yelled. "I cannot allow you to do this." 

"Doc if we don't then the old guy is never going to get out of here" the man tried to explain rationally. "I don't know all the technical stuff but Carter chose this, in the event he wouldn't leave her whatever alone. It was her recommendation." 

"But medically I cannot allow it," she argued. "I will not risk the patients life for the off chance that it might work." 

"Jack everything is hooked up," Daniel said solemnly. 

Studying Fraiser for a moment he kept one hand on her shoulder and pressed his radio's talk button while keeping his eyes locked on hers, if this didn't work not only had he basically killed Carter but the Doc was going to royally pissed. Squeezing her shoulder he spoke slowly, "Do it" and held her tighter. 

Janet stared at the Colonel glaring daggers at him. She was not happy, not happy at all. Daniel and Teal'c did a three, two, one countdown and activated the shock. 

Minutes later Janet looked back down at the EEG monitor trying to find either of the individual signatures. 

The two guys ran over and stared at Janet as Jack removed his hand from her, "Well? Did it work?" 

O'Neil shrugged, "No idea. Doc did it work?" 

"Well the good new is that there is no sign of Y'Lair's EEG signature," Janet said her voice cold. 

"And what about Sam's" Daniel asked hurriedly and glanced at Jack and Teal'c. 

Janet dropped her head not making eye contact with any of the guys. "I don't see her signature either," Janet said sadly her voice thick with emotion. 

"GOD Damn it" O'Neil hollered and looked at the Stargate, "Carter if you're in there you better...." 

"Look" Teal'c said from his spot and pointed to the EEG monitor, it showed a pattern, spikes. 

Jack practically beamed. "There you are Carter. Daniel dial us home." 

Janet just watched as the gate whooshed to life. 

Glancing at his watch Daniel ran over and looked at Jack who nodded and he started depressing symbols quickly... 

SGC Complex  
Gate Room/Control Room

"Incoming wormhole" Sergeant Siler said to Hammond and everyone tensed. 

Off World

As the wormhole activated the remaining members of SG-1 and Doctor Fraiser waiting and watched. 

SGC Complex  
Gate Room/Control Room

"Open the iris" Hammond ordered. 

And at that instant Major Samantha Carter stepped through the event horizon and headed down the ramp as a medical team rushed up to her, "General" she called out to the control room, "What happened Sir?" 

"Welcome back Major," Hammond greeted. "All will be explained at the briefing." 

Dr. Warner approached the Major. "How do you feel?" 

Lynn Arnold's asked. "Still hearing Y'Lair talking to you?" 

Confused the woman stared at them all at the base of the ramp? "I feel fine and who did you say" she asked the woman and looked at Warner and then Arnolds "And why we are on the subject who the hell are you?" 

Off World

O'Neil heard the General over the MALP and smiled putting his hand on Janet's shoulder, "She's there and he says she's fine" he stated with a sigh. "Pack up Doc, she don't remember what happened but he said Warner says she's fine physically." 

"That's good to know sir," Janet said as she moved to disconnect the monitor and grab the rest of the gear. 

SGC Complex  
Gate Room

Sam and everyone were waiting at the foot of the ramp when SG-1 plus Janet came through and she smiled, "Hey guys." 

"Carter" O'Neil claimed and came over hitting her in the arm. 

"We're glad you're ok Sam" Daniel offered hugging her. 

"It is indeed good to see you again Major Carter" Teal'c stated with a bow of his Jaffa head. 

"Uh thanks" she commented confused, "Hey Janet. Are you sure everyone is ok? They seem to think I went...Hey" she commented. 

"Everyone is fine Sam," Janet said a bit coldly. "Warner, are you sure there are no side effects?" Janet asked moving to stand in front of the doctor. 

"None other that she thinks it's from the mission and has no memory of Y'Lair or Mackenzie or Doctor Arnolds. I assumed you wanted to do her full check up personally," the man stated with a smile. 

"OOH Carter" the Colonel joked as they all headed outs, "You hear that? You get a full check up, what fun?" 

Corridor/Elevator

"For who Colonel" she protested as he wrapped an arm over her shoulder and steered her out toward the Infirmary. 

"For the Doc of course," Jack said with a snicker. "Just think of all the big honkin needles she get to use on you." 

"Her needles don't bother me Colonel and...." were the last words as they entered the elevator with the medical team and Janet who had a smile on her face. Sam looked at her and then at the Colonel who had a huge grin, "I'm not going to enjoy this am I?" 

"You won't be enjoying it, but the Colonel will be able to sympathize at his next physical," Janet bit out and pushed the button for the infirmary. Once the elevator stopped and the doors opened she walked out with the others trailing behind. 

Infirmary

And enjoy it he did as he sat on a gurney and kicked his feet, he hadn't even complained when Warner drew blood. Leaning over he whispered to Teal'c, "Listen..." 

There came the sound of a glove and Carter's voice from her curtained off area, "Geeze Janet...Are you trying to check for cavities or what?" 

"Told ya," Jack said with a smile and a wink. 

"You know what a full physical entails so stop your whining," Janet reprimanded. 

Ten minutes later a new sound came, "Janet...you don't have to look...OH man, I just had...I will not put my feet up there" from Sam. 

Teal'c and Daniel were ready to go but O'Neil was reclining on a gurney, "Man, all I need is pretzels and beer and this would be quite a show. You guys can't leave." 

"I do not wish to hear what Major Carter is having done to her," Teal'c said and started to leave. 

"Yeah Jack. It feels dirty somehow," Daniel added then started to follow Teal'c. 

"You guys are no fun" the man called out. 

"Janet I am not...You don't need to look at that" came Carter's voice again. 

"Its part of the whole physical aspect. No stop complaining and fighting," Janet said. "Or I can get Warner in here to do it." 

"Yeah but..." Sam started. 

At that same moment Abby's voice came from where she had been watching the Colonel, "Doctor you may wish to step out here" the woman informed. 

"WASHINGTON" O'Neil hollered and started to get up and make his getaway. 

"Colonel, you are going to regret sticking around," Fraiser yelled at his retreating back. 

"I wasn't Doc....really" he yelled and left. 

At that moment Sam came out clothed and winked, "Oh that was good Janet" she said between giggles, both having faked what they were doing. 

"You know I am always up for scaring the Colonel in any form," Janet said with a smile. Then started to head towards her office with out another word being said. 

"Hey" Sam called following her. "What's up with you? You seem a might miffed Janet dear," she said taking a seat. "By the way can I get out of here and head home?" 

"Yeah you can leave," Janet said ignoring the other question. "I want to once a week run an MRI and other test just to make sure there are no side effects from your little visitor." 

"Whatever you need Janet and you ignored my other question" Carter said stoically. "What's wrong or do I have to make you tell me?" 

"Nothing is wrong," Janet said as she took a seat behind her desk. "I'm just a little tired that's all." 

The woman shrugged and stood up going to lock the door. She then approached Fraiser cracking her knuckles with a twinkle in her eye. 

"What are you doing Sam," Janet said not a touch of humor in her voice. 

"Making you tell me" she proclaimed and grabbed Janet and started tickling her through the uniform. "Come on...come on tell me...come on..." 

"Sam, stop it," Janet said a bit angrily. "I'm tired, nothing more, so stop playing games." She pushed the hands away. 

Sam did stop and then leaned against the side of the desk crossing her arms, "Janet tell me what has you so down and it isn't just being tired and I know it" she said with determination. 

"Nothing has me down," Janet said again giving Sam a fake smile. "This mission just got to me a little. That's all." She kept her smile in place hoping Sam might buy it. 

Studying the woman for a long moment it was like Sam felt little by way of holding back and she leaned down and pressed her lips to Janet's and then stood up, "I'll see you later" and then turned to leave. 

As Sam left her office Janet sat there staring at the closed door then unconsciously brought her hand to her lips. The feelings that were going through her were something she was not sure of but nonetheless a smiled appeared.


	2. Together Forever  The Woman In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is back but is love enough to make her stay?

Fraiser Residence

Janet Fraiser had been deep in thought the last two weeks ever since the incident with Y'Lair and the talk with Sam in her office ending with being kissed by said friend. She hadn't seen much of Sam and she wasn't sure why but was glad for it after all she still did not have any answers to give. She was sitting at home with her morning cup of coffee not really watching anything in particular just deep in thought. She came to the same conclusion she had every time she thought about it. She stood up and walked to the kitchen phone, calling base. "This is Doctor Fraiser can you connect me with General Hammond." 

"Yes ma'am, one moment please," said the base switchboard operator. 

Seconds later Hammond was on the phone, "This is Hammond. What can I do for you Doctor Fraiser?" 

"I would like to request the day off Sir," Janet said politely. 

"What is the reason for this request Doctor" he asked signing his name to a report and tossing it in his outbox while talking with her. 

"Well Sir I don't feel that I'm at my best," Janet began. "There are no teams that are due back and none scheduled for pre jump exams. It's going to be a slow day in the infirmary so anything can be handled by Doctor Warner." She took a moment to breath. "I just think that since mentally I seem to be distracted that it's best to take the time off when it's there instead of being forced to take it during an emergency." 

Thinking for a moment the man finally nodded, "All right Doctor, barring any medical emergencies you have the day off. Be sure you alert your staff and I'll let the duty officer know," he informed her. "I'll see you tomorrow then." 

"Thank you Sir," Janet said before hanging up and calling the infirmary. "Abby this is Fraiser," she said then paused. "Could you inform Warner that he is in charge and that I will not be in today? I'll see everyone tomorrow." 

"Sure thing Doctor but you did have a patient stop by earlier and ask for you" her Chief nurse stated. "She left and said it wasn't important when she found out you weren't in yet." 

"Who was it Abby?" Janet asked. 

"Hang on a moment ma'am and I'll ask, Marcia was doing triage assessment as I was in the storage room" and then silence greeted her as the call was put on hold. Seconds later the voice came back, "Major Carter ma'am." 

"Thank you Abby," Janet said. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

She hung up and immediately dialed Carters lab. Ring, ring, ring, ~Damn where is she why isn't she answering her phone. ~ 

SGC Complex

But Sam wasn't in her lab, she had gone in and picked up her laptop telling the Colonel she was sick and would work from home today so that was where she was on the way too. She had tried to see Janet but the woman wasn't in yet and so she was just going to stop by the pharmacy on her way home and pick up some stuff, it was probably just a cold anyway. 

Fraiser Residence

When no answer was received Janet tried Sam's on base quarters and once again received no answer. The last place she was trying was Sam's home. She dialed the number by heart and reached the answering machine. "Hi Sam this is Janet, I heard you were looking for me. Sorry I missed you. Give me a call at home, but I will try your cell too." When Janet hung up she dialed Sam's cell and once again received voice message. "Sam its just Janet, I was trying to reach you. I'm home of you want to give me a call." 

Local Pharmacy/Fraiser Residence

After stowing her laptop Sam drove through security and was just pulling up to the pharmacy when her cell beeped. Digging it out her pocket she coughed and listened to the voicemail hearing the voice. ~That explains why she wasn't in yet~ she thought and hung up before dialing the familiar number and waiting for an answer. Covering her mouth she coughed again and cleared her throat. 

Janet was sitting on the back porch when her phone rang. She immediately ran to pick it up. "Hello, Fraiser residence," Janet said slightly winded. The woman's voice brought a smile to her face, "Hey Janet, I got your message. What's up?" 

"I just called the infirmary and they said you were in looking for me, that you didn't look to good," Janet said. "Is everything alright?" 

Sniffing the woman settled back in her seat and put a hand on the wheel, "Yeah, just a cold I think. I was going to check in with you, but since you weren't there I didn't want to bother Warner" she admitted though the truth was that none of SG-1 tolerated any doctor but Janet; they'd kind of had a vote on it after the first time she had treated all four of them. 

"Are you heading home or still at work?" Janet asked. No matter how many times she told SG-1 that any doctor could see them they seemed to refuse unless it was her. 

Sam turned to her head and covered her mouth pulling the phone away and coughed before clearing her throat and bringing it back, "I went in to get my laptop and tell the Colonel I was working from home today. I'm actually at the pharmacy on Magnolia now, why?" 

"Make sure you get something for the cough and a lozenge of some sort. I'll stop by your place in about an hour or so to check on you," Janet said, a motherly tone in her voice. 

"You don't have to do that," Sam said. "Cassie will be home soon anyway won't she? If you want to call something in I can wait" she informed the woman trying to act like a friend and pushing her 'lovers' thoughts aside. "It's just a cold and...." 

"Sam stop fighting me," Janet said. "First of al,l I can't call anything in without looking at you first. Secondly, Cassie has a group study and won't be home till late. I'll be by in a while OK?" Janet asked wondering why Sam was pushing her away. 

Sniffing the sneezed and pulled the phone down to wipe it on her shirt, "Sorry about that, I sneezed on the phone. Anyway your place is closer from the pharmacy, do you want me to stop by before heading home Janet?" 

"If you stop by I might make you stay," Janet said. "Being the doctor and all I will probably want to take care of you." 

"And if you come over to the house you'll just want to stay and take care of me" Sam stated knowing her best friend well, wishing she knew her better when a cough interrupted her thoughts. "Sorry, anyway it's up to you Janet; either one is ok. If it's just a cold I can go home and take care of myself, keep you and Cassie from getting sick." 

"Sam, me and Cassie getting sick is not the factor," Janet said. "What do you want? And what would make you more comfortable?" Janet asked 

A smile graced the woman's lips; Janet always knew just what to ask or to say in order to make her feel better about anything. While her medical knowledge was a truly appealing feature it was her ability to relax anyone in any situation that had really drawn Sam to her, "I'll stop by your place; it's closer. Now what did you want me to get from the pharmacy and do you..." she sneezed. "Excuse me. Do you need anything else while I'm out?" 

"I don't need anything thank you," Janet said with a slight laugh. "Just pick up cough syrup, throat lozenges and an over the counter antibiotic that best matches you symptoms. If I need anything else I will find out once your here." 

Local Pharmacy

"Sure thing, see you in thirty minutes or so Janet. Thanks. Bye" she answered and hung up the phone pausing a moment to think perhaps she should call her back and get out of it but knowing Janet that wouldn't work so she got out and went into the pharmacy while dialing her cell and getting Colonel O'Neil, "Hello Colonel how are you..." she turned to cough and sneeze before moaning into the phone. "Doing Sir?" 

"Carter, shouldn't you be at home sleeping or something?" O'Neil asked. "I know I would." 

"No, you'd be barbecuing Sir" she offered heading up an aisle. "I was calling..." she turned to cough again and cleared her throat. "To tell you that if you wanted me I'd be at Janet's, she got a hold of me and as soon as I'm done at the pharmacy I'm heading over there Sir, so try to behave until I get back to the base and stay out of my lab Colonel." 

"Good the Doc will fix you up good as new," O'Neil said. "And I never go in your lab when you're not there. Hurry up and get better Carter I'm going nuts here. O'Neil out." 

Hanging up the phone Sam went back and grabbed one of those shopping bags and started loading up, if it was just a cold she didn't want to have to come back out for anything and then she went into the grocery store part and got some boxes of blue jello mix, chocolate pudding mix, and one of those lemon pies she liked before paying and heading for Janet's; hopefully this wouldn't take long. 

Fraiser Residence

Janet cleaned around the house waiting till Sam arrived. She had finished the living room and was now in the kitchen. 

A couple more sneezes and Sam was at Janet's. Getting out she put her purse, laptop case and the bag from the pharmacy in one hand while holding her keys and cell in the other before going up to the door and rang the bell turning to sneeze again. ~Boy after a while this would start to piss me off~ Carter thought wiping her nose on her uniform sleeve. 

Janet stopped washing the dishes and headed for the door upon hearing the doorbell. She opened it finding a sneezing Sam Carter before her. "Well hello to you too," Janet said playfully stepping aside so Sam could enter. 

Coming in Sam smiled, not a dreamy smile but a friendly smile as she deposited everything but the cell, keys and pharmacy bag by the door. She handed the latter to Janet, "Don't say...*cough, sneeze* I never brought you anything." 

"Gee thanks," Janet said laughing. "But I think this has to be one of those gifts you get someone so you can use it type of thing." Janet gestured to the coach. "Have a seat and make yourself comfortable. I just need to get my medical bag." She deposited the paper bag of medicine on the coffee table and headed up the stairs to her room after her bag. 

By the time Janet got back Sam was laying on the sofa, her eyes were closed and she still had her coat on. 

"Are you cold Sam?" Janet asked moving to sit on the floor next to the couch and placed her hand on Sam's forehead to see if she was on the warm side. 

"No, freezing actually" she stated opening her eyes and started to sit up with a sneeze. "I...called the Colonel, told him I was over here if he needed me." 

"That's fine and don't sit up," Janet said placing her hands on Sam's shoulder to push her back down. "Do you want to keep your jacket on or take it off?" She asked as she pulled the blanket down that was draped over the coach. 

"If you want the truth" she said sniffing lightly, "I'd like someone to set my underwear on fire since it's so cold. Let me guess, I'm running a ...*sneeze* fever right?" 

"You feel a little warm. I won't know how high exactly until I use a thermometer," Janet said with a smile. "And be careful what you wish for. You might get it someday. And if that's the case don't come crying to me with burns." 

"And here I thought...*cough* You were going to baby me" she joked with a wink, wishing that Janet knew how she felt; she'd love to lay in her arms right now, but of course that wasn't happening. 

"I'm taking care of you am I not?" Janet questioned with a raised eyebrow. She pulled out a wrapped tongue depressor and unwrapped it. "Open, I want to see your throat." 

With a smile the woman pressed her lips together and shook her head like Cassie. 

"Sam, I can't make you better if you don't," she said then added. "Plus I won't make your jello." 

"But that's..." and she was the victim of her friend's lightening quick reflexes, she hated tongue depressors. 

"Thank you," Janet said with a smirk. "Now say ahh." She pulled out a pen light so she could see better 

If she could have Sam would have stuck her tongue out but as it was all she could do was give in and roll her eyes, "AHH." 

"It looks like your throats a little raw," Janet said. "Has it been hurting much?" She moved on dropping the tongue depressor. And just for fun moved to check her pupil dilation. 

Closing her eyes the doctor got a cough as a response at first and then Sam sighed, "From all the coughing and...." she turned her head to sneezed. "Sneezing yeah." 

"I'm glad you didn't sneeze on me," Janet said and smiled. "I hate being covered in mucus." She pulled the thermometer out and placed it in Sam's mouth. "Well it look like you have a mild case of the flu but that depends on if you have a fever." 

"Trust me, got fever to burn" she mumbled around the thermometer and closed her eyes feeling Janet holding her wrist for a pulse. "Not flu" she said taking the thermometer out, "Cold." 

Janet looked at the thermometer. "No Sam, you don't have a cold. You most definitely have a mild case of the flu." She took the blanket and now completely covered Sam with it. "Do you want anything?" 

"To..." she sneezed again and wiped her nose on her coat sleeve, that would have to be washed later. "I...I have to go back to the base, Siler called on the way here" she insisted. 

"Sam. You are in no condition to be working," Janet informed. "Besides I don't want to be treating half the base for the flu." She gave Sam the infamous doctor stair of hers. 

Pushing the blanket away she starts to sit up, "Can....interact with laptop over secured...*cough* connection and talk on phone." 

"Fine, but keep the blanket wrapped around you," Janet said. "I don't want you to be working too long though. You need rest to fight this." Janet ran her hand through blond tresses before standing up and moving out of Sam's way. "If you need anything let me know." 

"Water and jello please" she asks standing up tiredly to go get her laptop and moves toward Janet's den where the secure connection is set up. 

"I'll bring you some water and warm broth," Janet said smiling. 'The jello will take a while longer." She left going into the kitchen. 

Sam had been typing at her laptop a while, getting more tired and coughing as she held the phone in her ear, "No Siler...No you aren't going to...Listen to me, I'm telling you how to fix it...I...*sneezes* I can't come in...because I have the flu and Fraiser won't let me...If you'll just listen to...I know it's not supposed to..." 

Janet came walking in with a glass of water and a mug of broth for Sam. "You can get some jello in about twenty minutes or so. I want you to drink all the broth though. It will help with the flem," Janet said setting the mug and glass down. "I'll be in the living room if you need me. And left. 

For five more minutes Carter argued and finally just hung up and emailed the directions and then shut down her laptop draining the broth, God it tasted bland but that was likely because she couldn't taste anything. Sighing the woman shook her head and went out with her glass of water seeing Janet seated on the sofa reading and walked over, "Are you going to call me in any medicine" she asked putting the glass down and turned to sneeze, this time using a tissue from her pocket. 

"I already did and Cassie said she would stop by the pharmacy on the way home," Janet said not looking up from her book. "Have a seat or would you rather go upstairs and lie down?" 

As a compromise Sam pulled the blanket tighter around and laid down, resting her head on Janet's legs and hugged them yawning, "Night, night." 

"I will let you know when it gets time for diner," Janet said softly dropping a hand to sift through Sam's hair. 

Squeezing the legs tightly she scooted up a little more to rest her head just above Janet's crotch, if she couldn't really do anything about it at least the thought of it would help as she was sick. "K" she mumbled and shifted a little but then closed her eyes and settled down for a nap. 

Janet was reclined on the sofa with Sam's head resting on her pelvis when Cassie came home. Janet placed a finger over her mouth telling Cassie to be quiet. "Sam's asleep," then went back to running her fingers through the blond hair. 

Sam felt someone shaking her shoulder and rolled over, unknowingly burring her face right into Janet's crotch and seemed perfectly content there as she brought her hands up and laid them on each side of the woman's butt on the sofa. 

Janet smiled at how Sam now laid. "Sam," Janet said softly as she continued to shake the shoulder. 

In response the woman buried her face more into Janet, truthfully it matched the dreams running through her mind but the action made Janet shift a little. 

As much as Janet really didn't mind having Sam's face there her daughter was still wondering around the house and this was something she really didn't want to have to explain. Janet picked Sam's head up a little removing it from her crotch. "Sam, honey you need to wake up," Janet said a little more loudly than before. 

"Mmm...." was the mumbled reply and then Sam turned her head and sneezed which woke her up, "Oh man" she complained, her voice was a little raspy as she sat up. "Sorry Janet..." 

"Don't be," Jane said with a smile. "You didn't want to wake up there. What were you dreaming of to put such a smile on your face?" 

~Boy do I want to tell you Janet~ the woman thought blushing, maybe that was the fever, "Uh I don't remember. So did Cassie..." 

"Hi Aunt Sam" came the girl's voice. 

Turning slightly Carter nodded, "Hey kiddo, you better not get to close as I don't want you getting this." 

"OK Aunt Sam," Cassie said and blew her a kiss instead. "Are you going to be staying with us for a while?" She asked then added. "Dinner is ready." 

Janet just listened to Sam and Cassie talk running her hands from Sam's temple into her hair and repeating the motion. 

"Up to your mom kid..." she turned to cough and moan, bringing a hand to her chest and weakly smiled. "Up to your mom kiddo." 

"Well I would rather you stay here than at your house," Janet said with a warm smile. "Now I'm starving so lets eat." 

Cassie nods and goes back into the kitchen. 

Yawning Sam looks weakly at Janet and smiles, "I'm...really not hungry Janet. I'm just...going to lay out here for a few more minutes, but I'll be in a little later to take my medicine" she promises, knowing full well she won't be because she'll fall asleep. 

"Can you at least have a couple of spoonfuls of soup," Janet requested not pushing her friend. 

"Honestly" she admitted tiredly, "I don't..." more coughing. "I don't think I'd have the energy to lift the spoon Janet." 

"OK," Janet said and scooted out from under Sam and rested her head on the arm of the couch. "I'll come back and wake you to take your meds." She leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead before straightening and heading into the kitchen. She kissed Cassie on the cheek. "We'll put Sam's soup in the microwave and when she is hungry it will be easy to heat up. Where are her meds?" She asked. 

"On the counter in the kitchen Mom" the girl said spreading a napkin in her lap. "I can always go out and get more if she wants fresh too. Is she going to be all right?" she asked seriously worried about her Aunt. 

Janet moved to sit next to Cassie but kissed her head before sitting. "She will be fine. She just has the flu, so as long as I keep her here she will get over it soon." 

"If you're sure" the girl said and smiled. "Hey maybe I'll get it and then I can stay home from school and...." she saw her mother's look as she settled down to eat. "What?" 

"No," Janet said firmly. "Taking care of one kid is enough for me, thank you very much." 

"Yeah, but you and I can get it right" she said eating a bite of soup and then picked up her juice. Her mom always liked it when she had juice instead of pop. 

"Yeah, but I am trying to keep you as far away from it as possible," Janet said then took a spoonful of soup. "See unlike me and Sam your immune system isn't use to Earth diseases yet." 

"Did you want me to go stay with Uncle Jack or Uncle Daniel" Cassandra asked referring to the phone call she had told her mom about earlier as they heard Sam coughing and sneezing in the other room. 

"That may be a wise idea," Janet said. "After dinner maybe you could call one of them and see if it's ok." She ate her soup and finished drinking her tea. She went into the kitchen placing her bowl in the sink and refilled her mug. She filled a glass with water and grabbed Sam's meds heading into the living room. Placing the glass and meds along side her mug on the coffee table. Shaking Sam's shoulder. "Sam. Wake up," Janet said softly kneeling beside the couch. She noticed how close her face was to Sam's. ~God how I would like to kiss you right now, that would surely wake you up~. 

Groggy blue eyes greeted her and a smile, "Hey beautiful" she commented not realizing she had said it allowed and yawned starting to sit up, wincing, as her body was sore. 

Janet helped Sam sit and her smile grew even more at the compliment, ~If Sam only meant it~. "Hey sleepy head. Its time for your meds," Janet said reaching for the glass and handing it to Sam along with her pills. 

Smiling the woman tipped her head back and took the pills and a half a glass of water when she handed it back racked with more coughs as she saw Cassie come in and waved but pulled Janet down beside her. 

Giggling the teen waved, "Uncle Jack said I could stay with him since he's who I called first. He's coming to pick me up mom so I'm going to go pack." 

"OK honey," Janet said. "Let me know if you need help and don't forget your school books." 

"I'd rather have the flu" the girl stated and ran upstairs. 

"She's leaving" Sam asked leaning her head over and resting it on Janet's chest, listening to her heartbeat and smiled. She'd love nothing more than to feel better and be able to show the woman she loved the passion in her heart but she couldn't even tell her she loved her. 

Janet let Sam lean on her and in return she rubbed the long lean back. "Yeah, I think it will be better. Her immune system still isn't synchronized to handle Earth viruses and if she gets sick it would be worse than you are," Janet said continuing to rub the back. 

"Mmm....k" she commented and just relaxed against the woman. "I hate being sick" she mumbled. 

"Nobody likes it," Janet said and began rubbing her hand moving from Sam's upper shoulders to her lower back. God how she wished she could hold her as a lover and not just a friend. 

Yawning Sam coughed again and moaned, "Still cold, colder really" she commented shivering lightly even under the blanket. 

Just as Sam said she was cold a horn honked and soon Cassie came running down the stairs. "I'll be right back Sam," Janet said and stood moving to the door following Cassie out. 

Jack sat in his truck waiting for the bubbly teen. 

"Thank you Sir," Janet said. "I know you are not one for work in any form, but can you make sure she does her homework before playing the video games." Janet kissed Cassie on the cheek then opened the door and waited for her to get in before closing it. "Don't be too much trouble for the Colonel Cassie. He is getting old." 

"Just for that Doc I better not see ONE needle at my next check up" the man commented playfully. 

Kissing her mom the girl glanced at her uncle Jack, "Don't worry mom, I'll make him behave." 

"Don't get cute Kiddo. Doc, let me know how Carter is tomorrow would ya?" 

"Yes Sir," Janet said wrapping her arms around her to fight of the slight chill. "Have fun Cassie." Janet headed back into the house and found Sam in the same spot. "How about we get you into bed where it's warmer unless you want to eat something?" 

"Only if it's hot" she answered tiredly and coughed. "God this stinks" she said leaning over and burying her head into a sofa cushion. 

"Well soup usually is hot," Janet said playfully. "You want me to heat it up and bring it over here?" 

"Yes please" came Sam's mumbled reply as she sneezed. "And another blanket please?" 

"Sure," Janet said rubbing Sam's back. "I'll be right back." Janet went into the kitchen heating up the soup then walked to the linen closet pulling another blanket out for Sam. She returned with blanket in hand a moment later. "Here, the soup should almost be ready," she said as she covered Sam. She left and returned with a bowl of hot soup with spoon and a mug of tea for herself. She sat the bowl and mug down. "Lets get you sitting up." 

"Do I have to" was the reply as Sam sat up but clearly didn't like it based on the look on her face but the soup smelled wonderful and she pulled both blankets now tighter around her. 

Janet sat next to Sam helping her remain upright as she began to feed her. She put a small amount of soup on the spoon and slightly blew it to cool down a bit before offering it to Sam. 

"Let me know when you get full or sick," Janet, stated. "Which ever comes first"? 

"Hopefully the first one" she said and took the bite swallowing it but of course no taste and it hurt a little going down. Turning her blond head another cough racked her body and she laid her head back, "I wish I could taste it. But it's hot anyway." 

"Cold affect the taste buds," Janet said offering another spoonful. "Why I have no idea but it does." 

"To make me miserable" was Sam's answer as she lifted her head and took another bite, wincing slightly as she swallowed and cleared her throat. "How long will I be sick?" 

"Well if your body gets all the rest it needs maybe three or four days," Janet said. "But that means staying in bed almost all the time." Janet felt sympathy for her friend. This is the one person she never wanted to see hurt or in pain. She offered another spoonful. 

Smiling the Major sat forward and coughed, before taking another spoonful and the same face but didn't lean her head back that time, "Could we just shoot" she sneezed, "Shoot me instead?" 

"Now where's the fun in that?" Janet asked smiling. "Then I would be out a friend." She offered Sam another spoonful. 

~Just a friend~ the woman thought a little disappointed but then nodded and accepted the soup shaking her head, "No...more Janet. Stomach is a little...upset." 

"OK," Janet said placing the bowl on the coffee table. "You ate half of it. I'm surprised, I didn't think your stomach would handle that much." She paused then began speaking again. "Why don't we get you in bed? Someplace warm and comfortable." 

"I can..." the words broke off as a coughing fit happened, a hard one until Sam was leaning back catching her breath. "I...can sleep on the sofa." 

"The couch isn't really comfortable and will make your body more stiff and sore than it already is," Janet said matter of factly then smiled adding. "Plus at least in the guest room you are closer to me if you need anything." 

"Could lay with you" the woman got out and then sat up blushing and lowered her head, "Oh geeze...Janet I'm sorry...I...I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I should just go home and...." she started to reach from under the blankets for her boots. 

Janet stopped Sam's movements. "Yes," Janet whispered softly. ~God is this the right thing to do, what if she doesn't think of me the same way~ 

Locking her eyes on the woman's hand holding hers Sam Carter was almost too afraid to look over but she did after coughing, "Yes? Yes what Janet" she asked. ~Oh God, does she...is there a chance that? ~ 

Janet laughed and brought her free hand to brush the hair at Sam's temple back. "Yes you can stay with me if that's what you want," Janet said softly lost in blue eyes. 

Janet's touch electrified her and even with the fever she knew she was getting hotter as she straightened up, "Are...* she turned to sneeze and wiped her nose. "Are you sure Janet? I don't...want to damage our friendship? I can stay in the guest bedroom," she offered tiredly. ~There, now she has a way out if she wants it. ~ 

"I don't mind Sam," Janet said maintaining eye contact and letting the hand in Sam's hair graze her ear as she dropped it down. "If you want to stay with me your more than welcome too." 

"O...Ok" she said softly and inside was all smiles. ~YES~ Sam screamed in her mind. "I'm...I'm really tired, can you help me Janet" she asked coughing again. 

Janet stood and placed her hands under Sam's arms helping her stand than wrapped one arm around a slender waist while the other held onto Sam's arm that was draped across her shoulders. Slowly they walked up the stairs and down the hall. When they entered Janet's room she paused long enough to turn on the lights before continuing to the bed. 

Sinking down into the bed Sam laid back and was too tired to even get undressed. She was sore, cold, cold again, sore, tired and oh yeah did she mention cold? "I hate the..." her body arched up as she sneezed. "Flu" she commented falling back. 

"Sam you hate anything that keeps you from working," Janet said. "Did you want to change or sleep in your uniform?" Janet asked moving towards the closet. 

"Don't matter" she answered tiredly and rolled over. 

Janet pulled out a large t-shirt for Sam and a pair of shorts. Then changed into her t-shirt and shorts before heading over to Sam and helping her. Janet had to gulp hard when she pulled Sam's shirt over her head and removed her bra. 

Which wasn't the best thing to do as Carter was a bit delirious and the images in her mind made her snake her hand out and grab Janet pulling her on top of her and kissing her again, "Mmm" she said rubbing her back tightly. 

At first Janet responded to the kiss, increasing the pressure she applied to Sam's lips. But after realizing what was going on she pulled away. "Sam we need to stop," she said softly. ~God how I really don't want to stop, I can't remember the last time someone kissed me like that.~ 

"Why" was the mumbled reply and if not for the sickness Sam would never have admitted it, "I...love you Janet" she whispered not opening her eyes. 

"I love you too Sam," Janet said with all her heart cupping the other woman's cheek. "But right now you're not thinking clearly and I don't want you to do anything you might regret later." Janet let her eyes speak her sincerity and show all the emotions she was feeling. 

The words immediately bore into Sam's soul and she was more alert and forced herself to sit up, tiredly and sore but she was up and locked eyes with Janet. "I...wasn't sick...when I kissed you..." she turned to cough and felt her friend rubbing her back. "I...love you Janet...always have" she admitted and turned back to see if Janet turned away in disgust. 

Janet closed her eyes trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. She had to be dreaming, that's it she was dreaming. "Sam let's wait until you're over the flu to figure out if this is really how you feel," Janet said trying to keep the sadness out of her voice. 

Reaching out Sam touched her cheek, tenderly and like a lover, "It's how I feel Janet...it's how I've felt for years" she promised and fought the coughs. "Please believe...that. I love you...I..." she coughed again, "I need you." 

Janet let her head drop trying to hide the tears that were falling. She remained like that trying to gain control over her emotions. She never believed that Sam could actually feel the same way for her as she did for Sam. 

After another coughing fit the Major put her hands on Janet's shoulders, "It's...ok Janet, it's really ok." 

"Sam I don't want you to say things and not realize your saying them," Janet managed between sniffles. "This isn't something that can easily be taken back." 

"I'm..." she turned to sneeze and sniffed to cover the post nasal drip and smiled a goofy grin, "I'm not taking them back, you'll see. We don't have to do...* a coughing fit interrupted her and she shook her head, as best she could anyway. "We don't have to do anything tonight, just...hold me as I sleep all right?" 

Janet nodded shutting of the light and climbing into bed lying down so Sam could pillow her head on a shoulder. Janet used her free hand to hold Sam's, which was across her waist while the other playing with blond locks. 

Despite being sick Sam Carter found just being near Janet, with the knowledge that she felt; at least partially, how she did was enough to lull her to sleep in the woman's arms and despite several coughing fits she didn't move pushing up as close to her as she could as she slept. 

Janet was awake most of the night watching Sam sleep and the moonlight caste over soft features. She was deep in thought going over the possibilities that this was actually happening, but she could ignore the feeling that Sam was talking because of the flu, that she really didn't feel that way. 

At some point Carter noticed Fraiser drift off and carefully removed herself from her grasp making sure she was comfortable and covered up, she wanted to do something and seeing as how it was just after breakfast time for her normally it would work before this flu really kicked her in the butt and she couldn't move or wanted too. 

It took Sam almost two hours to get everything in place downstairs in the dining room and going back upstairs she simply stared at Janet's sleeping features, each rise and fall of her chest bringing a wider grin and then she sank down on the side of the bed coughing but cupped her cheek rubbing it gently with her thumb, "Janet...baby...wake up" she said softly. 

Janet forgot that Sam had slept in her bed, but remembered she was sick so thinking something was wrong she sat up with a start and banged her head on the headboard. "What's wrong?" She asked rubbing the back of head in a near panic. 

With a bit of a smile she snaked her hand up to rub the woman's head, "Nothing is wrong Janet...I'm ok. I made a surprise for you downstairs and wanted to get you up to show you; that's all" she admitted a little dejectedly that the woman had gotten hurt. "I'm sorry I hurt you Janet, I didn't mean to." 

"It's ok Sam," Janet said with a smile. "Nothing to worry about or feel sorry for. You would think with all the times I have done that, eventually I would learn." She shrugged her shoulders. "Guess not." She stopped and looked at Sam. "You should be in bed not playing around in the house." 

Touched by her friend's concern she brought her hand down and took Fraiser's carefully, "I will...right after I show you this and we eat I'll come right back and you can..." she turned to cough again and hit her chest. "You can do whatever you want to me and I won't say a word. Come on" Sam said rising, "Get up." 

Janet got out of bed and followed Sam as she pulled her along. 

Coming to the bottom of the stairs she let her loose and went around behind her putting her hands over her eyes, "Ok, keep em closed and I'll direct us. Ready?" 

"Ok, but what is this about?" Janet asked taking small steps. 

Maneuvering Janet into the dining room and knowing the smells of the fresh blueberry pancakes would greet her nose Sam slid her hands from Janet's eyes. The room was bathed in candlelight from several candles as well as a large red ribbon on the chair at the head of the table where a stack of three pancakes, all the necessary condiments, coffee, juice were all waiting but spelled out on top of the pancakes in cut up small pieces of strawberries were the words: I love you Janet, forever with painstaking care. "That's what it's about Janet." 

"Sam you did all this?" Janet was amazed. "Thank you." She hooked her hand around Sam's neck drawing her head down and gave her the softest of kisses on the lips. "I don't know what to say." 

Bringing her hands up the slightly taller woman rubbed her back as she met Janet's eyes and returned the kiss before speaking, "Say you believe me..." she turned to cough. "What I said last night, I meant it Janet...I love you; have for a really long time. Say you believe that" she all but pleaded. 

Janet closed her eyes and rested her head against Sam's chest. "I believe you," she managed to say through the tears. 

For minutes Carter just rested her head on Janet's gently, holding her, taking comfort from her and strength before she carefully picked her up moving toward the table, "Come on, you gotta eat Janet. I didn't cook all this just so I could win points..." and then stopped with a smile and a cough, "Ok, I did but you still need to eat it honey." 

"I don't know," Janet said. "Your cooking skills or lack of them are known throughout the SGC." 

"That would be because I never had anyone worthwhile to cook for before" she countered depositing her in a chair and then reached over to lay a napkin in her lap. "Ok, you eat and I'm going to go get the rest, you didn't think I just made pancakes did you?" 

"Sam with all this food you're going to make me fat," Janet stated and took a bit of strawberry from the word love. "Before you go," Janet said and held out a piece from the same word for Sam. 

Coming back with a twinkle in her eye the woman knelt down and took the bite before pressing her lips to Janet's, both of them savoring the taste and then straightened up, "Not bad." 

Janet continued to eat only to stop to take a drink of coffee. By the time Sam return she was one-third the way through the pancakes. "These strawberries are really good. Where did you get them?" Janet asked as she ate another piece. 

"Had them delivered and flavored with something special" she commented with a bit of an evil look as she coughed and sat another cup of juice in front of her friend as well as a plate with sausage, eggs and toast before she went back to get her own; only slightly smaller. "Drink your juice Janet," she said covering her mouth to cough. 

Janet did as was told. "What is the special flavor?" She questioned enjoying her food. 

"A special blend" she promised with a wink, wanting Janet to guess what it was. After lying with the woman all night she had been so sopping wet and had used all the 'love juice' she had produced as flavoring. 

Janet had finally had her fill of eggs, sausage, toast and pancakes. She leaned over and kissed Sam very slow and sensual. "Thank you," Janet said their lips just barely apart. "This was all delicious," another quick kiss before continuing. "But you should get back to bed Sam. If you want to get over this flu." 

With a spark in her eye and leaning forward to kiss her lover again the woman reached back and put a hand on her butt, "Sure, you can tuck me in and then give me a full physical Janet. After all...I'm sick" she answered sensually. 

When the kiss broke Janet laughed, "This is probably the only time you are willing to get a physical," she said standing and moving towards the kitchen. "Head upstairs and get into bed while I get your meds." 

Slowly Sam made her way upstairs and since they were alone she pulled off her clothes and climbed under the covers, lying down but had a spot all ready for Janet beside her. Even though it was ten o'clock Janet could just take the day off or something. 

Janet made a quick stop before grabbing the meds. She picked up the kitchen phone and dialed the base's familiar number. "This is Doctor Fraiser connect me to General Hammond please," she requested and waited for the line to be picked up. 

"Hammond" came the older man's voice and glanced at his clock. "I thought you were due on base at nine Doctor?" 

"Yes Sir I was," Janet began. "The reason I am calling and the reason for not already being on base is that I have a very sick Major Carter here. She seems to have a bad case of the flu. Colonel O'Neil can confirm this as he is watching Cassie since I don't want her to catch it." She paused taking a sip of water. "I would like to stay and treat her. It may be for the rest of the week and if there is an emergency I can be called in." 

"The Colonel did inform me about Major Carter's illness Doctor" the man informed her calmly and leaned back. "If she is that ill should she not be in the hospital or the Infirmary?" 

"She isn't ill enough to warrant being kept in the hospital or infirmary. My concern lies with the fact that no matter what you tell her she will not stay in bed and rest or take her meds. She will continue to try and work, unless babysat," Janet admitted with a smile though Hammond could not see it. "I would rather treat her at my home than have to treat half the base for this flu." 

Several seconds of silence passed and finally the man nodded, "All right Doctor, but I want daily reports sent to me about the Major's progress and keep in contact with the Infirmary regularly incase your opinion is needed." 

"Yes sir I will email you daily reports and keep in contact," Janet said. "Thank you sir." 

"Just get her well Doctor. Good bye" and he hung up the phone. 

Janet hung up the phone and grabbed Sam's medication as well as a glass of water then headed up to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed handing first the glass then the pills to Sam. She also sat a bag of throat lozenges on the nightstand for later. "I called and spoke with General Hammond and informed him that you are sick and that neither one of us will be in this week." 

Swallowing the pills with a wince the woman nodded lightly and handed her the glass, "You..." she turned to cough again, "Took the week off for me?" 

"Someone had to make sure you actually rested and took your medication," Janet joked and flashed Sam one of her brightest smiles. "If your throat gets really sore suck on one of the drops in the bag. I'm going to be downstairs if you need me," Janet said leaning over to give Sam a quick kiss before standing up next to the bed. 

"What about my physical" she whined and lifted the blanket to reveal her naked body. "I even..." she coughed and then fell back smiling, "Got ready for it already." 

Janet laughed and shook her head. "You're in rare form today," she commented as she allowed her hand to run from Sam's color bones down between her breasts to the flat of her stomach where fingers spread out. "I really don't think you need a physical," Janet rasped out her voice catching with the emotions building inside her. 

"That's got to be a first" she said shivering at the touch and brought her hand up to cover Janet's on her belly and then Sam patted the bed beside her and motioned her to get in. 

"Sam, I don't know if this is such a good idea," Janet said her eyes filling with the passion she felt. 

Seriously now the woman pushed herself to sit up and cleared her throat tiredly, she had to know, "Why Janet? I love you, I think you love me so why shouldn't we show one another that love?" she said brushing Janet's hand that was on her belly. 

Janet closed her eye,s trying to center herself to think clearly. "Sam you are still sick," Janet mumbled out enjoying the touch of Sam's soft skin and the hand on hers. 

"So" she proclaimed and stared at her coughing. "You...you think that's why...I'm saying I love you don't you?" 

"I don't know Sam," Janet admitted. "People say things they don't mean while they are sick. They have trouble thinking clearly." 

"Go...downstairs, get my bag. Will...prove it" Carter proclaimed and coughed but pressed Janet's hand a little more firmly into her belly and caressed it meeting her eyes. "I do love you Janet." 

"I'm not saying you don't Sam," Janet argued. "I just don't think you love me as much as you think right now. I think you just love me as a friend and nothing more." Janet continued to stare into blue eyes as she tried to pull her hand back. 

"Go...downstairs. Get my bag please," she asked tiredly and yawned. 

"Lay down and rest," Janet said finally pulling her hand back. "I'll bring your bag up." She stood leaving heading back down stairs not looking back at Sam. 

Once Janet had brought the bag back Sam dug in it and came up with a notebook that she passed to her while she coughed, "Read it..." she insisted and then rolled over to go to sleep. 

Janet sat on the bed, her back against the headboard and her legs pulled up so the notebook rested on them. Janet opened the book and looked at the first page, the writing done in Sam's neat script. 

For over two hours the book talked about the feelings Sam had for Janet, the love she felt sure she'd never be able to share. It outlined fantasies Sam had about them and how she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with her. 

Feeling the warmth against her Sam crawled over, still half asleep and snuggled up to Janet's thigh and butt, burying her face sideways as she coughed right against the woman's thigh and drifted back off to sleep. 

Janet was overwhelmed, she didn't know what to think and as Sam snuggled up against her, she dropped a hand and began to caress a bare back not aware of her actions and the effect they might have. She continued to read intent on finishing the notebook. 

It was hours later when Sam opened tired blue eyes and felt a hand on her back, moving and she rolled over a little to find Janet sitting and just closing the notebook, "Hey" she whispered, her voice a little soft because of being sleepy. 

Janet didn't stop the soft caress and kept her other hand on the cover of the notebook. "Hey," she responded back not looking at Sam but staring off into the space in front of her. 

Slowly Sam sat up and next to Janet, resting her naked body against hers and her head on the woman's shoulder, "Finished huh" she asked tiredly and coughed. "What did you think?" she asked. 

"I...I..." Janet tried to speak but stopped to gather her thoughts. "I never thought you felt this way." She sat there amazed. "If this is how you feel why have you avoided me for the last two weeks?" 

"Fear" Sam answered without hesitation and slid an arm over Janet's stomach. "I...I was too afraid to think you may feel the same way...but now you see" she began among coughs. "I felt this way...before I was...sick." 

Janet still looked at the wall on the other side of the room in front of her. "I think I fell in love with you the first moment we talked," she whispered her hand still tracing lazy circles on a naked back. 

"I know I did" she promised and squeezed her towards her. "I love you Janet...always have." 

"I love you too Sam," Janet admitted her voice nothing more than a soft whisper almost as if the wind carried this simple declaration of love. 

Emotion washed over Sam and she cried, the declaration was more than she could have hoped for when the phone rang and both women looked at it tiredly, "I'm going to the bathroom, you get the phone" Carter said sneezing. 

Janet watched as Sam unwrapped herself from the blankets and headed to her bathroom. She watched the lean naked form until she passed out of view. The ring of the phone drew Janet back to reality. "Fraiser residence." 

"Hey Doc, how's Carter" came the jubilant voice of Jack O'Neil. "Oh and Cass got off for school ok, said she'd call you after that and said she loves you and Carter." 

"Thank you sir," Janet said with a smile. "Sam is doing a little better. Still has a nasty cough though. I'm a little worried that it might settle in her chest." 

"So how do you make sure it doesn't do that?" he asked as the concerned CO and friend. "I mean you gotta jab her in the ass or what Doc?" 

"No, the ass jabbing is left only to be done for you," Janet commented. "The only thing I can do is keep an eye on it and make sure the antibiotics are taken." 

He made some kind of comment to the ass thing but then spoke seriously, "How long until Carter is back to work? The General called and said you were keeping her out of the loop for a couple days." 

Sam came back out then, a frown on her features as she came over and climbed back in bed, this time on top of the covers as she was hot and laid her head right above Janet's clothed crotch and smiled mouthing, 'Gotta poop but can't' almost like a child's voice. 

"That's right Sir," Janet said. "At the earliest the end of the week. I can give you something if you want?" 

Sam just nodded closing her eyes and brought Janet's hand up to rub her belly, keeping her hand on top of it as it did. 

"Give me what Doc" O'Neil asked curiously. 

"Not you sir, Sam," Janet said. "Was there anything else?" 

"Nah just wanted to check on my sick XO Doc. You take good care of her" Jack commented. "I'll talk to you later Doc, BYE CARTER" he hollered, not realizing he had done it right in Janet's ear. 

Janet hung up the phone and put a finger in her ear trying to stop the ringing. "In case you didn't hear that the Colonel said get well and bye really loud." She continued to rub the stomach her hand was resting on. "You want me to get you something now?" 

Opening an eye Sam smiled, "What..." she arched up to cough, "What you gonna get me Janet?" 

"Don't you need something to help you go?" Janet asked. "I can either give you a pill or you can try eating a banana." Janet bent her fingers a little scrapping her nails across bare skin. 

"Oh please" the woman said moaning and closed her eyes, "If you love me Janet, don't mention food...in fact" she said coughing, "Don't even think about it." 

"Is your stomach hurting?" Janet asked moving her hand a little higher letting a nail graze the underside of a breast in a feather light touch. 

"Oh yeah" Sam answered and opened her eyes smiling and winked. "You wanna look," she asked playfully, figuring Janet wouldn't take her up on it. 

Janet just kept playing on Sam's skin with her fingers only stilling them when she leaned down to steal a kiss. "Don't you think that maybe you should get some clothes on?" 

"Why" was the question as Sam leaned up and captured Janet's lips with hers before she could pull away? 

"Temptation," Janet murmured through the kiss as her hand slid from Sam's stomach to slightly cup her ass. 

"Is a good thing" Carter mumbled as she rolled on her side feeling the touch, pressing her lips closer to Janet's still clothed sex, just breathing in the smell and brought her hand up to rub just above it on her pelvis, "You're so beautiful Janet" she murmured through the light coughs. 

"Sam you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," Janet whispered in her ear her breath disturbing the little hairs there, sending a chill down Sam's spin. "Are we moving too fast?" She asked suddenly unsure. 

"Not fast enough" the woman mumbled and pressed her face down into Janet's crotch, rubbing it up and down even through the clothes and as she felt the other woman's hand on her ass she arched back a little, inviting her if she wanted to come in. 

Janet gasped as Sam began to nuzzle her. Her breathing becoming more erratic, "God, Sam how I love you." Janet began to shift from a seated position to a more reclining one, her hand now moving to cup and caress a perfect breast. 

Once Janet was lying down Sam carefully got on top of her, burying her mouth onto the woman's as she moaned and used her hands as they were lip locked to start unbuttoning the woman's shirt and slid from her lips to nuzzle and lick her neck, "I...want you Janet...you're so beautiful, so warm...I need you." 

Janet now had both of her hands cupping and teasing Sam's breasts with the occasional scrape of a nail across a sensitive nipple. "I want you," Janet gasped out before dipping her head to reclaim Sam's lips. 

Locked in passion the two women were soon together and Sam had her head between Janet's naked legs, rubbing them as she licked up the woman's moist slit, "Mmm...." she mumbled pulling Fraiser more toward her face as she brought fingers up to spread her open so she could get her tongue inside. 

Janet dug her hands into Sam's hair as she spread her legs a little farther apart to give Sam better access. Soon she was moving in sync with Sam's tongue but wanted more, much more. She tugged Sam back up and deeply kissed her tasting herself on full lips. "No more teasing," she said begging Sam to enter her. 

Locking eyes with her lover Carter let her hidden fingers trail down and gently rub the woman's love button tenderly, "What do you want Janet...Hmmm" she asked kissing her neck and started to trail down stopping at her bresat as she took her first nipple in her mouth while her fingers worked, rubbing harder. 

"Please Sam," Janet begged lifting her hips off the bed. "I need you in me," she managed panting heavily. 

Coming back up Sam locked eyes with Janet and then pressed her lips to hers as she slid her fingers down and pushed two of them inside hard. At the same time she used her tongue to dive into Janet's mouth, searching and sharing all the while she drove her love-covered fingers in and out of her lover. 

With each thrust of Sam's fingers Janet rocked her hips trying to prolong the contact. She whimpered as she came close, waiting to fall of the edge, letting Sam rip each cry and moan from her lips. 

Finally Sam Carter rolled off her lover after the loudest orgasm she had heard from the woman in the many they had been giving each other. Her fingers, tongue, body ached and she coughed, but oh how it was worth it. Carefully she slid one hand under Janet's neck and pulled her over to sleep on her shoulder and brought her other hand over to gently rub the woman's breast, "I love you Janet." 

All Janet was capable of doing was mumbling something incoherent before sleep consumed her. 

Hours later Sam Carter woke up, only half way coughing but realized she was on her side and felt someone playing with her lightly so she just closed her eyes again. 

Janet bowed her head capturing Sam's still swollen lips. "That was amazing," Janet said with a bright smile. "Now I get to repay the favor," she breathed as she rolled them over so Sam was pinned below her. She shifted, scraping her nails across a well-toned stomach as she sucked and licked Sam's color bone before moving further down. Before she captured a nipple she sucked the skin just above the areola leaving her mark. "Now you are mine," she said with a wicked grin on her face before capturing one nipple. She luck sucked and nipped at the sensitive flesh occasionally removing her mouth far enough so she could blow on the damp skin enticing a moan from Sam. Then she switched and paid just as much attention to the other breast and nipple. 

"OH...OH GOD" Sam cried out pushing her body up to meet the woman's tongue and teeth circling her and used her legs to wrap around Janet's lower half holding her. Her body quivered with anticipation when a cough interrupted, "I want you Janet..." she panted over and over again rubbing the woman's back and then trailed a finger to her ear and lightly began to caress it tenderly. 

In a sultry voice Janet spoke, "Tell me what you want Sam." Then went back to her previous actions. 

"You know what I want" was the passionate answer as she opened her legs a little more in an invitation, "Do it Janet," she panted, "I need you...inside me. Please" she begged as another wave of passion hit her. 

Janet let her nails rake down Sam's body until they reached their destination. She circled two fingers coating them before penetrating Sam. Each stroke was slow and deliberate as Janet moved her body down Sam's a little more. Soon her head was leveled with her hands and she dipped her head taking the sensitive nub in her mouth, rolling her tongue around it and nipping it gently. 

Passion, heat, fire filled the woman as she gave herself to Janet's fingers and tongue completely, trusting her to take her to passion and beyond and she arched against her. Reaching down she ran her hands through Janet's hair tenderly while at the same time trying to encourage her to penetrate her deeper, harder, more often and whatever else she could manage. 

At Sam's insistence Janet began to thrust her fingers a little harder and deeper than before, pushing Sam to her limits, wanting to bring her to new heights. 

As the third orgasm in the last hour hit her Sam Carter arched as she soaked Janet's face and fingers in her juices and then fell back on the bed, panting, sweating and exhausted. She didn't even have the energy to cough at this point and her eyes opened dreamily, "Oh God...Janet you're...You're unbelievable." 

Janet finished taking in all of Sam's essence before moving back up her body and kissing her soundly on the lips allowing Sam to taste herself. "You're not so bad yourself," Janet stated between kisses before rolling onto her back taking Sam with her. She brought Sam's head to be pillowed on her shoulder as she ran her hand up and down the lanky spine. 

Tiredly she nuzzled up to Janet and draped an arm over her stomach, lightly scraping her sides with tender fingernails, "I...didn't know passion...could feel that Janet. You're...an amazing, beautiful, charming, loving, caring, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, sensual woman" she finished and leaned over to lightly lick Janet's side with her tongue. 

"And you are all those things and more Sam," Janet said. "You just needed the right person to show you." 

"I definitely found her now" she mumbled and brought her hand up to squeeze Janet's breast before rolling the nipple tenderly in her fingers as she started to drift off to sleep. 

A breathless gasp escaped her lips as Sam fondled her breast. "Shhh," Janet said. "Sleep now." She brought her hand up to still Sam's actions, allowing sleep to claim both of them. 

At some point Sam had started coughing and rolled over to lie on her stomach. Lovemaking would be more fun once she wasn't coughing her brains out when she felt her lover scoot over and started to rub her back and ass cheeks alternately, "Hate...the flu" she mumbled tiredly. 

"You haven't had you medicine in a while," Janet said as she began to move. "I'll be right back." She kissed bare skin between Sam's shoulder blades before scooting out of bed. She went to the kitchen retrieving Sam's pills and a glass of water before returning and making Sam take them. "What are we going to tell Cassie," she asked a little worried. "Or the others for that matter." 

With a dreamy look in her eyes, "Most of the guys I think have a good idea I'm in love with you Janet," she admitted scooting her head over to lie on the pillows. "I have some rather 'sensual' dreams about you off world apparently. As for Cassie you'll be surprised how understanding she is" she admitted and thought of a talk she'd had with the girl one time. Shortly after she had come to Earth she'd thought Janet and Sam were a couple because of how they acted with one another, apparently on Hanka that wasn't taboo like it was on Earth. 

"I think someone needs to either stop talking in their sleep or having sensual dreams," Janet chastised. "As much as Cassie loves both of us I'm a little worried that she will flip out. We haven't exactly talked about me seeing anyone seriously. And when I did go on that one date she panicked." 

Arching up to cough the woman pulled Janet down to lay beside her and rolled on her side to hold her resting her chin on the nape of Janet's neck, "Baby, relax. I promise you, Cassie is the least of the worries. I can't tell you how I know but she was actually shocked that you and I weren't a couple when she first came to live with you; apparently Hanka doesn't have the same taboos as Earth." 

"She thought we were together?" Janet questioned. "And she is just one of my worries, but not the worst of them." 

"And the worst would be my love" she asked rubbing the woman's back gently as she kissed her neck tenderly and yet sensually. 

"Have you forgotten that we are both career Air Force Officers," Janet said her voice filling with panic. "They don't exactly welcome gays and lesbians into their folds. It's grounds for immediate dismissal and if that should happen I lose clearance and Cassie is taken away." She was almost in tears at that realization. "I can't lose her and think of the emotional trauma it will cause for her." 

Sitting up a little Sam coughed but put her hand on Janet's shoulder and turned her over, "Hey, trust me Janet...I am not going to let you loose Cassie. We'll do the best we can to keep our feelings off base, I think we can do that but even if we can't I have some ideas. But I promise you baby" she said softly and reached up to brush hair from her face. "You are never...we are never going to loose our daughter. Trust me on that...all right?" 

Janet nodded and silently let the tears fall finding the safety she needed in her lover. 

Two hours later Sam moaned when she heard the phone ringing and Janet moving to answer it in the darkened room. ~Amazing~ she thought, ~we managed to stay in bed and make love all day! ~ 

On the end of the phone Cassie's voice rang out, "Hi mom, how are you and Aunt Sam? She feeling better, I got an A on my science test; tell her for me would ya? Love you," she bubbled all at once. 

"Slow down Cassie," Janet said smiling. "That's great that you got an A. Sam would be just as proud of you as I am." Janet smiled though worried still filed her eyes. "Sam is doing better. She still has the flu but it looks like she should be back to her old self in a few days. Are you behaving for the Colonel?" 

"You bet I am mom, he's taking me for pizza tonight" she said excitedly. 

Sam sat up and rubbed her stomach before pointing tiredly to the bathroom and got up after kissing Janet's thigh since it wasn't busy at the moment. 

"Oh the school nurse sent a note to everyone, said it's time for those flu thingies. I told her you'd handle mine, she wanted to stick me in the arm" the girl told her. "We can skip it right?" 

"You won't get the one offered at school, but I still need to give you one," Janet said as she watched Sam leave. "Cassie can I ask you a question. Now it doesn't mean it will happen its just something being considered at the moment." 

"Sure you can mom and....hang on a minute" the girl said and covered the phone hollering to her Uncle Jack and then was back. "Shoot mom, well so to speak. What's up?" 

"Cassie, what would you think if Sam were to move in with us?" She asked. "It would help save on costs and she spends most of her time here anyways when not off world." 

"I'd think the same thing I thought when I wanted her to when I first got here mom; it would be cool" she proclaimed seriously. "Why? Is there something you and Aunt Sam need to talk to me about? I can come back home if you want me to mom; we can talk?" 

"No honey nothing like that," Janet said. "I was just giving some thought to it. Sam doesn't even know I have been thinking about this. Don't worry." 

"Ok if you're sure," she promised. "Uncle Jack and I will leave the note and my test in the mailbox; you can get them later as it has the time you gotta have me stuck by ok mom?" 

"That's fine, I'll call and talk to the nurse," Janet said. "Have fun at dinner and I love you Cassie." 

"Miss you mom, love ya. Bye" and hung up the phone. 

Ten minutes later Sam came out holding her naked belly and smiled, "How long is that stuff supposed to take to work" she asked tiredly and crawled in at the foot of the bed resting her head again above Janet's naked crotch now, the heat hitting her full force as she trailed her fingers and nails lightly over her uncovered legs. 

"Well it would have taken only a couple of hours had you taken something," Janet said with a smile. "But if you remember correctly there were other things you would have rather been doing," Janet ran her delicate fingers through unruly blond hair. "Cassie says Hi and that she loves you," Janet said. "Plus I am ordered to tell you she got an A on her science exam," she said pride filling her voice. 

"Well I'm not surprised," Sam stated proudly. "She has a highly intelligent mother. Maybe we should try anal sex and knock what is in there loose" she joked and opened one tired eye to look up at Fraiser with a smile. 

"Nice try but NO," Janet said. "Just not my cup of tea." 

"Now that's surprising considering what the men say you do to them on base all the time" she commented ironically and snuggled up more to Janet. "Maybe I just need...." she coughed hard then "Sleep." 

"No, you don't missy," Janet said tickling Sam. "Just what do all the men say?" 

"Hey now" she joked between giggles, "You better...stop" and in response she dove her face right into Janet's open crotch and started licking her with a vengeance. 

"Ah," Janet moaned then stopped tickling Sam and grabbed at her head stopping Sam's actions. "No more for you. Now tell me what they say?" 

"Come on" she said coughing and looked hurt, or pretended to, "I'm sick...I need sustenance here...your sustenance Janet." 

"Wrong Sustenance there," Janet said smiling. "And you are not getting anymore especially since you won't tell me." 

"Sustenance pooper" she said and pulled away to crawl up and lay next to Janet and draped a hand over her waist coughing. "You do know that you...spend your days doing examinations on soldiers they don't like right? I mean they say you own every butt on the base Janet." 

Laughing Janet just gave Sam a look. "Well I guess in a way I do. I mean I have been able to cower tough Marines by just mentioning an exam or flashing a needle." 

"Hence my humor" Sam began coughing again, "At your mentioning a butt fetish Janet, kind of funny," she said rolling over onto her back. "So what do we do? More sex, food, shower, change the bed, movie, other?" 

"Sam you sick and as much fun as sex was you still need to rest," Janet said smiling. "It would probably be a good thing for you to shower. You're starting to get a bit rank." 

"Hey" the woman protested and sat up with a shocked look, "I'll have you know I resemble that remark but you gotta change the bed why I shower then." 

"I planned on it since I am the only thing clean," Janet said and gave Sam a quick kiss before standing up. 

"You are not" she protested and stood up tiredly as her stomach grumbled. "Uh oh" she stated rushing into the bathroom and closed the door. 

Janet moved after Sam, but stopped at the closed door not wanting to open it if she was not welcome. "Sam, honey are you OK?" 

A few grunts and a weak, "Yeah, just a ...little occupied at the moment Janet. I'm...fine." 

"Are you sure? I'll bring you something if you need it," Janet offered a little concerned. 

"Give me a couple minutes...then I'll let you know" Sam called out. 

"I'll be changing the bed then," Janet said. "Just yell if you need me." She went to the linen closet in the hall and pulled out clean sheets and blankets. She stripped the bed and began to make it. 

A few minutes later Sam came out looking much happier, "That feels a lot better Janet. I'm going to get a shower, can we order in some dinner," she asked going toward her bag in the floor to find some pajamas. 

"Sure," Janet said almost finished with the bed. "What do you want to eat and I'll order it while you're in the shower." 

"Anything as long as it has blue jello with it" she offered and glanced up winking grabbing a pair of pajamas. That was one of the worst things about the flu; your energy level came and disappeared. 

Janet just laughed and headed down stairs to decide on what to order. She finally decided that Chinese would work. She could get a couple of items and some soup for Sam. She was on the phone calling in the order when the shower stopped. 

Just as she was hanging up Sam came out of the kitchen then dressed her pajamas and her hair plastered wet to her head. She had a dish of blue jello and was just getting ready to take a bite as she walked past Janet toward the sofa. 

"I will never understand why you love blue jello so much," Janet stated taking a seat next to Sam. 

"Because it's good and it happens to be my favorite color, in addition" she offered swallowing and then coughed, "It was my mom's favorite, she made it for me when I was little" she offered, not realizing that was something that she had never told anyone. Eating another bite she yawned and laid her head over on Janet's shoulder, "Love you Janet." 

"I love you too Sam," Janet said. "You never really talk about your mom." 

"You would have liked her" Carter admitted taking another bite of the jello and swallowed it, the wince was there. "She was a computer specialist, a civilian working with the various military bases we were on because of dad's work. She was so smart Janet, beautiful and I'd have died to protect her." 

"I'm glad you didn't though," Janet said, her voice filled with awe. "Your mother sounds a lot like someone else I know." Sam gave Janet a blank stare unable to figure out whom she could be talking about. "You silly." 

A blush rose slowly in Sam's cheeks when there was a knock at the door. Sitting up she smiled, "Must be the eats. I'll pay if you wanna..." 

"No I'll get it," Janet said rising. "You can set the table if you want." 

Standing at the door was a teen delivery boy that knew her, "Hey Doctor Fraiser, long time no see" Alfred commented with a grin. "That's twenty-three eighty" he said glancing at the slip on one of the bags. "How are you and Cassie doing by the way?" 

"We are doing good," Janet answered with a smile. "How are you doing? Staying out of trouble I hope?" She handed him twenty-eight dollars. "Keep the rest," She took the bags that held their dinner. 

The boy nodded his thanks, "I'm doing ok Doctor Fraiser and as for trouble you know me" he offered with a wink. "Enjoy your dinner and tell Cassie I said hi would you?" 

"Will do," Janet said. "Try not to work too hard." Was the last thing before closing the front door? She walked into the dinning room to join Sam but her lover was nowhere in sight. 

"Hey" came Sam's heavy voice from behind her. "I sat things up on the coffee table and put in a DVD for us, come on" she offered gently. 

Janet followed Sam back into the living room and began to remove the containers from the bag. "I forgot to tell you to grab some bowls and chop sticks." Janet stopped her task and began to stand up as if to move. 

"You stay" she offered rising, full of energy at the moment, "I'll get it and grab us a couple beers too" she offered, forgetting she was on those medications and moved toward the kitchen. 

Janet yelled after Sam. "You can't have any kind of alcohol. It mixes with your medication." 

Instead the woman came back with two bottles fruit juices, "I forgot..." she coughed, "About that. So how much I owe you for my half" she asked sitting down and offered a juice to her lover while leaning over and stealing a kiss. 

"You can pay me other ways," Janet smirked. "Just because you can't have a beer doesn't mean I can't." Janet pouted her lip for emphasis. 

"I can get you one" she offered making a move to rise; she wasn't one to deny the woman anything. 

"No its ok Sam," Janet said placing a hand on Sam's thigh. "I'll serve what would you like? We have Wonton Soup. Beef and Broccoli, Chow Mein and Sweet and Sour Pork." Janet was seated on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. 

Clearing her throat as she sat back down Sam opened her juice and took a drink, "Uh a little of everything I guess" she offered sealing the bottle and sat it down before starting the DVD by way of a remote. 

Janet dished out a little of everything handing a plate and a bowl to Sam. "So what are we watching?" She asked as she dished out her food. 

"I have a friend that sent me a new release of that Princess Diaries Two: The Royal Engagement before it comes out in theatres next week" the woman commented settling back on the sofa and used one hand to pat the spot next to her, Janet could recline against the corner and Sam could lean against her as they ate and watched. 

"We are going to watch a kids movie," Janet commenting not realizing Sam wanted her to sit up on the couch. 

"It's a Disney movie" Carter commented coughing lightly and shook her head. "They make me feel better when I'm sick. Janet are you going to sit up here with me or not?" 

"Do I have too?" Janet playful asked. "So that's the reason behind all the Disney movies." 

Taking a bite of her pork as the credits began Sam laughed, "First off, yes you have to because I'm sick and I want to lay against you so I'll feel better. As for the Disney movies it's something else from my youth, only this time my dad" she offered with a smile at the memory. "Every time I was sick and dad was home he'd bring in a Disney movie and hold me while we watched it, I always felt better." 

Janet couldn't help but laugh. "I just can't see Jacob Carter watching a Disney movie," she said as she moved up onto the coach making herself comfortable. She took another couple of bites before taking a drink of her juice. 

Leaning over she kissed Janet before carefully turning around and using her feet to push her back against her and got comfortable, she didn't want a blanket because she was hot anyway, "Well it's true, he was a very cute father though don't tell him I ever said that. Now hush" she commented taking another bite of her dinner. 

As Janet watched the movie she continued to eat, occasionally feeding Sam a piece of broccoli or pork. When she finally finished she set her plate down and wrapped her arms around her lover nuzzling her neck. 

Sam had already had her fill and Janet had gotten up earlier to get her a blanket which she huddled into bringing her hands up to cover her lovers on her stomach as she turned her head a little to give her better access to her neck, "You know" she said softly, "This must be heaven...I'm being cared for and loved by a gorgeous angel." 

Janet laughed. "Would never have though of you as a sweet talker. You must want something?" Janet tickled Sam's stomach with her nails as she spoke. 

Giggling a little she brought one of Janet's hands up and kissed it, softly and gently over and over again, "I have...all I could ever want" she said pushing back against Janet a little more and then turned her head for a kiss and puckered up with a wink, "Kiss me I'm cute" she stated. 

"How can I resist," Janet teased and leaned down to kiss Sam trying to convey her love in that one connection. 

The movie now forgotten Sam gently held the kiss and slid Janet's hand in hers under the blanket and into her pajama bottoms, she had left the underwear off already. "I love you so much Janet." 

Janet allowed her one hand to be guided down and into Sam's pajama bottoms. She played with Sam's sensitive flesh sliding her fingers lightly over areas that cried out for more before scrapping nails over the same areas. 

In response Sam slid down and rested her head in Janet's lap while at the same time opening her legs under the blanket and pulled her hand out, covered in her own juices she offered her fingers to Janet and spoke in a sultry, sexy voice, "I want you inside...now." 

Janet pulled the offered fingers into her mouth, running her tongue along the surface. As her tongue caressed Sam's digits she thrust two fingers inside causing Sam to raise her hips. 

Using her feet to push her up Sam arched and gave her lover more of a chance to dive inside her as she pushed her fingers in and out of the woman's mouth and smiled, a dreamy smile while opening and closing her eyes and using her hands to rub her own breasts. 

Janet's free hand found its way to Sam's breast as it caressed the flesh then pinched an over sensitive nipple. Janet allowed Sam to pull her fingers out of her mouth and grabbed the back of Janet's head with the wet digits. "I love you," Janet whispered. 

"Not as much as I...AH" Sam screamed as she felt Janet tickle her inside. With an evil smile Sam brought her one hand up and started to unbutton Janet's PJ top so she could rub her breasts, pinching them lightly and she leaned her head up catching one in her mouth. Her tongue running over the nipple lightly grazing it with her teeth. 

Janet's breathing began to come in gasps at Sam's ministrations. "No distracting," Janet managed thrusting harder into Sam while still playing with her nipples. 

In response Sam brought her hand down and started massaging Janet's other breast as she sucked her nipple tenderly and yet firmly as she felt the woman's fingers pushing in and out of her, she was sopping wet and was so close... 

Janet's actions increased as she felt Sam start to clench her fingers. A few final thrusts and Sam cried out in ecstasy. 

Minutes later, panting and with a tired look in her eyes Sam Carter looked up at her lover who still had her hand in her pants, "Oh God baby...you are ...Just God you're great." 

Janet smiled down at Sam before capturing delicious lips in a savory passionate kiss. "Go to sleep," she whispered as she withdrew her hand offering it to Sam. 

Opening her mouth Sam ran her tongue over, through the fingers and just savored the taste until finally she could talk, "What...about you? I want...to make love to you Janet...show you..." she paused to cough, "Show you the lover you showed me," she admitted tiredly. 

"Its OK," Janet said bringing her hand to brush back blond hair. "There is plenty of time for me. Just rest now. You're tired." Even though Janet was sopping wet herself Sam needed to rest and she was content to hold her love. "Are you going to tell your father?" 

"I'm going to tell the world as soon as I figure out the best wording" she commented sleepily and smiled. "I love you Janet and I want the world to know, I just have to figure out how to word it. Let me take you upstairs, make love to you" she asked. 

"We can go upstairs, but why don't you get some sleep," Janet said loosening her hold on Sam. 

Sitting up Carter shut off the DVD and stood up slowly reaching down to pick up Fraiser's hands, "Because I want to show the woman I love..." turning her head she coughed, "How much I love her. Come on." 

"Sam, I really think you should get some rest," Janet said. "This can wait till tomorrow." 

By the time they got upstairs Sam had to agree, she barely had enough energy to get to the bed and lay down as she coughed, sweat pouring from her just from the exertion of walking up the stairs, "I'm...I'm sorry baby" she told Janet. "Just so...tired all of a sudden." 

"It's alright Sam," Janet said brushing wet bangs from a damp forehead. "It's to be expected. This is the flu and now you need to rest. I'll bring your medicine up," Janet kissed pouting lips and turned to head back downstairs. The next morning Janet woke up with a feeling between her legs and when she lifted the blankets she saw a blond head between her legs. 

Sam looked up with a smile, "Morning baby girl." 

"Mmm morning," Janet moaned out as she spread her legs farther apart. She reached down with one hand threading her fingers through unruly blond hair while the other hand had a firm grip on the headboard. 

Pushing her head forward Sam buried her face in Janet's vaginal lips, she was soaked and slowly started to lick her clit. First up and down and then in small circles as she brought a hand up to rub her breast under the pajama shirt she had left on last night. 

Janet's hips started to move with every thrust Sam's tongue made. "Sam please," she pleaded not wanting to wait anymore as she pushed Sam's head into her more. 

Pulling her head back Sam had a surprise for her lover and slowly slid up her body under the covers, wrapping her hand around the surprise she had found, "Please what Janet" she moaned pausing at her breast to place her lips over it and then pulled back to blow on it, "Does my baby girl want something?" 

"Sam please...I...want...you," Janet moaned out unable to finish the sentence, speech now a problem. 

"And you'll have me baby" she promised pushing farther up, the hard plastic dildo in her hand now pressing lightly against her lovers vagina as Sam locked her lips with her. Gently she started to run the dildo up and down Janet's slit before breaking the kiss, "You ready Janet...you want this don't you?" 

"Please Sam," Janet begged love filling her eyes. 

At her lovers pleading Carter led with her tongue, biting Janet's lower lip lightly and then slowly started to push the hard plastic device into her with a moan, "Mmm...." she ran her tongue as far down Janet's throat as she could and slid it out and in slowly, going deeper each time. 

Janet brought her hands up to grip Sam's shoulders, digging her nails into the flesh through the shirt. Janet twisted her mouth away from Sam's dragging in much needed air and letting a gasp escape her lips. "Ah...Sam." Her hips bucked with each thrust Sam made tying to prolong the contact and increase the pressure. 

Minutes later Sam and Janet both cried out in ecstasy as she drove the dildo hard and deep a final time. Twirling it around Sam collapsed onto of Janet but then slowly started to pull it out, "You ok baby Jan?" 

Janet had a lazy smile spread across her face. "Better than OK," she answered sleepily. 

Sliding the dildo out Sam brought it out and up to her mouth, licking it and slid it between Janet's lips as she used her other hand to slide three fingers inside the woman, "Relax baby...I'm not going to hurt you" she answered in a sleepy, sing song voice. 

Janet gasped as Sam's fingers entered her, but she still moved with them even though she was sore. 

With gentleness Sam brought her lover to her second orgasm of the morning and then rolled over her to cough after licking her fingers dry and looked lazily at the woman who seemed asleep. 

Janet fell asleep after her second orgasm not able to move or think, just sleep. It was several hours later when sleep filled eyes started to blink open. 

And at that moment Sam came in carrying a tray with brunch food on it and smiled though she coughed and looked sicker than anything but still she was excited. Gently she sat the tray over her lover's legs and sat beside her holding it, "Hey Janet. How you feeling" Sam asked, forgetting she was the sick one at the moment. 

"Better now that you're here, though I'm not sick," Janet said stealing a kiss. "I could get use to this. All this." 

"You better" Carter commented with a wicked smile and started to spread a napkin over her lover's chest so she could eat. "Just cereal with fresh fruit, juice, toast and coffee this morning because I wasn't feeling too good, but I love you so it's all ok I figure" Sam commented yawning. "Took my medicine too, about an hour ago." 

"Move in," Janet blurted out without thinking. 

"Wha...What did you say" she asked staring at Janet, fully aware now. 

"I'm ...I'm sorry," Janet said and managed to get out from under the tray without spilling any of the food. She headed for her bathroom shutting the door behind her and locking it. She sank onto the floor drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms tightly around them. Tears began to fall as she berated herself in regards to her stupid invitation. ~God Janet how could you, you just got the woman of your dreams and you ask her to move in with you. She would never so soon. ~ 

Sitting on the bed almost in shock Sam ground her teeth together, ~Great move Carter, you idiot. How could you be so stupid? ~ Rising she sat the tray down carefully in the floor and went to the door finding it locked she knocked, "Janet, please let me in. I want to talk about this baby...please. Just open the door..." 

"No," Janet managed between sobs. "Just leave." 

Her own tears coming the woman knocked loudly, "Janet I love you...I want to move it, it just...well it shocked me out of the blue. Please...open the door; it's going to be all right. I want to be you...I need to be with you...I LOVE YOU" she cried out so loudly that someone likely thought the house would have shaken. 

"Just go away like you want," Janet yelled, not hearing a word Sam said. 

"I'm not doing that" Carter insisted and realized she'd have to fix this later but...stepping back she rushed the door with her shoulder and heard it start to give way. "I love you Janet...I'm not...loosing you" and she rushed at it again; she'd be lucky if she didn't dislocate her shoulder but it didn't matter. 

Janet never heard the banging of the door the pounding in her heart drowning it out. "I'm sorry Sam," she began to talk out loud to no one in particular. "I shouldn't have requested this so soon. I know we're not ready for this. I'm sorry." She continued to cry and started rocking trying to comfort herself. 

And then the door burst open, splintering the frame but that was easily fixed. Sam came pouring through and managed to hit her head on the tub as she saw Janet jump but didn't care how much her body, her chest, her shoulder or anything hurt and she rushed over pulling Fraiser into her arms and held her, rubbing her back, "Baby I'm sorry...I want to do move in, I want to spend my life with you...thank you...thank you so much for asking me. I love you so much baby girl" she commented and just kept talking and talking, coughing and talking no matter how much it hurt; she wasn't ever letting her go. 

Janet forgot that Sam had hit her head and just clung to her lover like a lifeline. "I'm sorry Sam, I didn't mean to push us too fast. I know we're not ready." The tears continued to fall, as she really didn't hear what Sam was telling her. 

Sensing that her words weren't getting through Carter held her until the sobs stopped and pulled back, "Yes, I want to move in" she said slowly and with purpose, "If you ...still want me to that is?" 

Janet stared at Sam wide-eyed, "Y...you do," she stuttered. 

Rubbing her lovers arms the woman smiled brightly, "Janet, I love you. Be..." she turned her head to cough not realizing her whole body ached now that the crisis was passed or passing. "Be confident in that. Nothing is EVER going to make me stop loving you. I want to spend my every moment with you." 

Janet's sobs became few and few. She dropped her head ashamed to look up. "I'm sorry," she got out in gasps. "I didn't mean to throw that out there so soon." 

Reaching out Sam lifted her chin to look at her and had a wide smile, "Hey, it's ok. I'm glad you felt confident enough in our relationship to ask and I love the idea" she commented. "Just took me a little by surprise, not the idea of it but just the all of the sudden it was there approach" she said and used her thumb to rub the woman's cheek. "I love you Janet, that's all that matters ok?" 

"I love you so much Sam," Janet said her voice rough from crying. "I have been thinking about this since I read your journal. I just want to spend every minute I can with you." 

Stroking her lovers hair the woman smiled, "I'm glad you feel that way, so do I Janet but..." she glanced over at the door with a bit of a wicked smile, "I hope you still feel that way after you see your bathroom door honey." 

Janet let out a small wry laugh. "Doors are replaceable." She leaned forward and kissed Sam, "You're not." She kissed her again savoring in the feel of soft lips upon her own. "We should probably move out of the bathroom." Janet mumbled through the kiss. 

Capturing the woman's lips again Sam took an extra moment with the kiss until she had no choice but to break it to breathe, "I...I think we should but you're going to have to help me" she promised and scooted back rubbing her shoulder and then her head. "I...was a little aggressive getting in here Janet." 

Janet stood and pulled Sam up. "Sit on the bed and let me take a look. I want to be sure you didn't do too much damage to that hard head of yours or to your shoulder," Janet said and sniffled a bit. 

Standing up slowly with her lover's help she went and sat on the bed, swaying only once and watched Janet inspecting the door before coming over. With a weak smile she coughed and moaned as it made her body ache, "I'll fix the door as soon as you're done with me Janet; while you're eating your cereal or something." 

"The door can wait Sam," Janet said her voice sounding more normal. "I'm more worried about you, especially with head injuries." Janet stood before a sitting Sam as she looked at her head making sure there was no damage. Then she lifted her shirt checking her shoulder for injuries. 

And Sam winced lightly, "Oh yeah...that hurts. Why do I think this is going to end with...'Sam get dressed, you need x-rays'" she asked good naturedly and looked up at Janet with a weak smile. 

Unable to resist Janet kissed tempting lips. "I know what the x-rays will tell me. You have nothing broken, just a slight sprain. There will be bruising though." Janet kept applying pressure to the shoulder. 

Feeling the shoulder start to give way the woman knew what Janet was doing as she turned her head to the left just as it popped back in place; "AH" she hollered at the pain and then fell back on the bed coughing. "Damn that...hurt." 

"When you decide to ram doors there will be pain involved," Janet said softly. "I'm sorry for that." It was quiet for a moment or two before Janet let her hands fall to the bottom of Sam's shirt and start to lift it. "Take your shirt of and lay face down on the bed," she instructed. 

Looking up lightly Sam smiled and sat up tiredly unbuttoning her shirt, "I...should fix...the door Janet. And your breakfast is getting soggy." 

"The door won't go anywhere," Janet said. "Let me make you feel better since I caused the pain in the first place." Janet helped Sam out of her shirt. "Now lay face down." 

"You don't cause me anything but joy honey, indescribable joy" she promised laying out and yawned while resting her head on the bed. "If I drift off I'm sorry." 

"If you begin to drift off then you are more than relaxed," Janet whispered. She climbed onto the bed and straddled Sam's hips. With her doctors touch she began to rub and massage not only Sam's sore shoulder but also her back. 

And it wasn't long before Sam did drift off and woke up hours later, noticing she was in the middle of the bed and covered up but also heard feet and smelled food. Opening sleepy eyes she saw Janet coming in with a tray, "Mmm...good massage" she commented tiredly and turned her head to cough seeing the doctors bag on the bedside table and laughed. "Uh oh, that bag usually means I'm in trouble." 

"Glad you liked it," Janet said sitting the tray down. "I want to listen to you breath to make sure the flu hasn't moved into your chest. But that can wait till after lunch." Janet stole another kiss before standing up and heading towards the door. 

"Love you" Sam called as she started to eat from the tray. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital   
Fraiser's Office

For three days Janet took care of Sam and Sam took care of Janet before they had gone into the Air Force Academy Hospital so that the labs and x-rays could be ran to see the state of the flu. They had talked to Cassie about Sam moving in and the girl loved it so once she had felt a little stronger Carter had started to make the needed arrangements to be in the place by the next month, Hammond fully believing the reasons that they had come up. The guys had visited and wished her a speedy recovery before going off on a mission without her; which Sam had hated a lot but standing in her lover's office professionally holding Cassandra's hand as her mom prepared to give her some type of shot the school wanted her to have she felt at home; with her family and her love everything was all right. 

"MOM" Cassie whined in her teenage voice, "You know we can just skip this right? I mean I have enough holes and Uncle Jack says ..." 

"Don't listen to Uncle Jack all the time honey," Janet said. "This is something you need to help in case you get the flu. Its a special mixture that works with the Naqada in your blood." Janet swabbed Cassie's arm and painlessly gave her the shot. "See, nothing to worry about. I told you it wouldn't hurt. Why don't you take a nap for a bit, till Sam and I are finished." 

Cassie moved onto the couch and laid down quickly falling asleep. 

"You know we have to tell her," Janet whispered looking at her lover. 

"And we will" Sam promised as she and Janet tiptoed into Janet's inner office and closed the connecting room door. "I'm planning on taking you guys out to dinner tonight and then we'll tell her after, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I did want to tell you something though" she offered and went to pat the sofa for her to sit beside her. 

Janet followed Sam over to the chairs and took the offered seat. "What do you want to tell me?" Janet asked a bit curious. 

Taking a deep breath the blond woman reached over and took her lovers hand, "That I talked to the Colonel...I...I told him how I felt about you and that as soon as I could, once I'm off medical leave, I'm telling Hammond. He insisted I shouldn't but the fact is that I have a lot of favors with the General and if need be I can call in everyone. At worst I resign and work as a civilian consultant or in the labs but then the Air Force can't stop us from being together Janet." 

Janet abruptly stood up and began pacing her office. "You can't just make decisions like this without talking it over with me first," Janet said. "Did you tell the Colonel that we are in fact in a relationship or just what your feelings were?" Janet sighed this was not good not good at all. "And you can't tell the General even if he is your Godfather. Sam, if he knows he has to report it. I'm glad your willing to take being a civilian but the fact is I will still be Air Force. I will still be in trouble and I can't resign and become a civilian. If I did I would loose all clearance to keep Cassie." 

Sighing the woman stared at the woman she loved, felt her anger and concern deeply but she sighed again, "Janet I didn't tell the Colonel anything but that I loved you. He asked how you felt about me and I told him I had no idea. When he asked about the living arrangements I told him that was a friend thing for the reasons we stated and he believed it. As for the General he won't report it, and not because he is my Godfather but because he knows that without me the Stargate program wouldn't last more than a couple months, everyone knows that and I'm not bragging" she said standing up. "The President himself owes me a lot, even before I came to the SGC and I can call in those markers to make sure you don't get into trouble and I will but I don't want to hide how much I love you. From Cassie, the guys or the world; I want everyone to know." 

"Sam, I think its wonderful that you want to announce our love for each other to everyone, but I don't think I'm ready too," Janet sighed and continued to pace. 

The admission burned into her soul like a hot poked and Sam knew she should be understanding but instead she rose and nodded coming over and giving the woman a friendly kiss on the cheek, "I'll...I'll be home later Janet, I have some things I need to take care of. Tell Cassie I love her and I'll see her later would you please?" 

Janet called out to Sam's retreating back. "Please wait. Don't do this Sam," Janet pleaded but Sam kept on walking leaving a distraught Janet behind. She was so afraid, but she didn't know how to make Sam see that. 

SGC Complex   
Briefing Room

For two days no one heard from Carter, an investigation was launched and finally George Hammond called in his premiere team and Doctor Fraiser, "Colonel, I'm afraid that the Pentagon has ordered that we stop allocating resources to search for Major Carter. After her car was found abandoned it's believed that she has either been captured, by who they have no idea, or that she has been killed for some reason and her body disposed of. I'm sorry, I've alerted the Tok'ra already" he said sadly. 

"General permission to..." O'Neil began. 

The older man shook his head, "We've exhausted every lead we have Colonel, there is no sign of Major Carter. There has been no activity on her bank accounts or any other electronic traces. Find me one piece of proof she's still alive and I'll launch the investigation again but for more Major Carter is being listed as missing." 

Infirmary

After General Hammond dismissed the briefing Janet headed strait to her office. She paused long enough in the infirmary to speak with Abby her head nurse. 

"I...I'm going to leave. Please notify Warner to come in and that he is in charge. No teams are due back so there shouldn't be any problems," Janet said fighting to hold back the tears. She managed to finish her conversation, grab her things from her office and leave the base before she lost the fight and the tears started to fall. This was all her fault, if she had only agreed with Sam and been willing to come forward with their relationship none of this would have happened and Sam would still be with her. 

Special Place

She drove on automatic not knowing or paying attention to where she was going but when she parked the car the location was obvious. It was one of their favorite places to escape to. Janet locked her vehicle and headed up the trail to the ring of redwood tree that was their favorite area for a picnic. She sat on a stump and lost herself in her emotions letting the pent up tears fall.


	3. Missed Love

Special Place

Janet had lost all track of time and it was now getting late. The sun had set and by Janet's guess it had been about an hour since that happened. But she couldn't find the energy to move so she sat there some more deep in thought about how she messed things up, the greatest thing in her life if she was honest. 

But she wasn't alone. Hiding from the world wasn't that difficult for a woman of Sam Carter's caliber and she had been outside Colorado Springs for weeks while the investigation went on. She hadn't known why she was hiding at first; just that Janet's admission in her office that day had torn into her soul. She had loved Janet, she knew that but to have her love not want to share it with the world had torn her mind and more in parts she didn't even know. 

Earlier that day she had driven back and went to their place, a special place where Janet had made them a picnic lunch and they had sat arms around one another to watch the sunset. She knew when she went back there would be questions, insinuations and more but she didn't care. Of course it helped that she didn't look like herself either, her hair was a little longer, face dirty and basically she looked more like a bum instead of an Air Force officer. She'd only been gone three days but that was at least Dereliction of Duty and if she had gone much longer desertion but as it was she expected to get off with suspension and forfeiture of pay which didn't matter. With a heavy sigh Sam rose from the hidden position she had been in watching the woman she loved ever since she had arrived and slowly walked up, "Hey" was all she said and waited. 

Janet never heard the soft greeting as she continued to sob, lost in her own thoughts. "Damn it. Why do I have to be such an idiot," Janet yelled out loud to herself not realizing someone else was there to hear. 

Fighting her own teams Sam came closer and put her hand on her shoulder, "Janet" she said more forcefully. "Look at me." 

"Sam?" Janet asked as she lifted her tearstained face. "Oh God." She threw her arms around Sam and held her in a death grip. "Oh god, I am so sorry," she mumbled as another wave of tears assaulted her. 

Holding the woman tightly she rubbed her back lightly, "Shhh....it's ok Janet. You have nothing to be sorry for." 

"Because I didn't want to announce our love you left," she sobbed. "It was awful. I don't ever want to lose you again. I'm sorry, I was just so scared." Janet buried her had in Sam's shoulder, anything to keep from making eye contact. 

"Janet" Sam insisted and pushed her away enough to look at her, her dirty and crying face meeting hers, "I love you as much as I ever did but I...I shouldn't have put you in the position where you had to decide. I needed time...time to try to talk myself into going back to how things were but I couldn't" she stated and held her arms. "As soon as I can I'm going to resign, go back to the Pentagon and let you and Cassie go on with your lives without me complicating it." 

"No, Sam please," Janet cried out. "I love you so much. Don't leave again." Janet clung tighter to Sam, digging her nails into flesh, tight enough to possibly leave bruises. 

Sighing the woman rested her head on Janet's head gently holding her, "Janet it's ok...you've got Cassie. She's...she's all you need. Let me take you home, I'll go report in from there." 

"No you're not leaving," Janet said firmly. "You want to walk away from the love we have then fine, but don't you dare turn your back on Cassie. You're her hero." 

"I don't want to walk away from anything" she said standing up and moved away near the edge of the cliff and looked down, the water and rocks so visible and dangerous below. "I'm doing what you wanted Janet...no one will ever know how I felt. You can go back to your life, unencumbered." 

"DAMN it," Janet yelled. "That's not what I meant Sam. I just can't tell the world I love you because I am too scared. Its not because I am ashamed." 

Listening to her lover, her heart speaking Carter stiffened. Her father had told her something years ago, the hardest thing to do for someone you loved was letting them go and right now Sam had to do that. "I understand that Janet..." she said fighting her emotions. "But you're better off without me...no risk, nothing but you and Cassie is what you need and she needs you. I'll call, write her and we can arrange for her to visit but this way you can just forget about me and go back to your life. Maybe it would have been easier if I was dead" she thought, considering just stepping off the cliff at that point. 

"Don't you ever say that," Janet yelled angrily. "I would never wish you dead and if you ever thought I would then you don't know me like you thought you did." Janet turned her back to Sam. "I'm not better of without you. I need you Sam, but you have to give me time. Everything has moved so fast its overwhelmed me. I'm sorry if you feel you can't give me time," she then started walking away heading towards her car. 

Carter Residence

After Janet left Sam simply sat and stared over the edge before reporting to the base. As expected Hammond wasn't happy and ordered her for full medical and psychological testing and the members of her team were even less than happy; though she told them she went to her dad's cabin in Wisconsin to work some things out and declined to comment further. By the time she got home there were a lot of messages waiting on her but she ignored all of them and went out on the back porch to sit in the dark. 

Fraiser Residence

Janet had made her way home to find Cassie already there. "Hi honey," she said with no enthusiasm as she kissed her forehead. 

"Mom" the girl said standing up excited, "The base called, said they found Aunt Sam and Uncle Jack and Daniel called and said to tell you they found her and you can call them if you want and....well where is she mom? Have you seen her? Is she all right? When can I see her mom" Cassandra asked all at once. 

"Yes I know they found Sam," Janet said. "I already saw her before she went to the base. I guess she is ok. Do you want to call Uncle Jack or Uncle Daniel see if either of them can watch you. Maybe even take you to see Sam." Janet went into the kitchen and opened the fridge looking for something cold to drink. 

"She isn't coming home" the teen asked confused and followed her mother. "Mom what's going on? And please" she pleaded, "None of the 'it's going to be ok' treatment, just tell me what's going on with you and Sam. I saw how you guys were before she left, why did she leave? What's wrong?" she pleaded. 

"She left because of something I said. I don't want her to go, but she thinks its best if she isn't part of my life anymore," Janet sighed. "She wants to go back to the Pentagon and she promised to write and call you, plus you can fly out and visit her when you're not in school." She pulled out a bottle of beer and popped the cap off taking a long swig. 

And with teen importance she walked over and took the beer from her mother and sat it down grabbing her hand, "Come on" she said pulling her toward the door. 

"Cassie stop," Janet, said pulling her hand away out of the grasp Cassie had. "No." And headed back into the kitchen. 

"Fine, then I'll walk" the teen commented angrily. "God, why do adults have to be so stupid" and mumbling she walked off, not caring that it was pitch black outside now and it wasn't smart to walk at night alone. 

"Cassie," Janet yelled. "I am not being stupid. I have already tried talking with Sam and she won't hear a word I say, if you really want to go see her then call one of your Uncles. I'm not welcome anymore and would prefer not to cause Sam anymore pain beyond what I have already inflicted." 

Sighing the girl stopped at the end of the drive and came back but still angry, confused, "I'm not calling anyone. If you love me mom you'll take me, if not I'll walk and have my say but I'm not...repeat NOT" she stressed to her mother in the dark. "Letting you two screw up what you have, so yes...yes you are both being really stupid and as soon as I see her I'll tell her the same thing. Now are we going or do I walk mom?" 

"I'll take you to her house and when you're finished you can call for someone to pick you up. Myself, Sam or one of your Uncles, but I do not want you walking this late at night all alone. Do I make myself clear," Janet stressed determination in her voice and body language. 

"Fine you can wait, what I have to say won't take long mom. I'll be in the car" she commented heading towards the car and waited. 

Janet grabbed her keys and wallet following after Cassie. "You can stay the night with Sam if you would like. Spend some time with her before she leaves." Janet offered unlocking the doors. 

"No thanks, but I would like to use your cell since I left mine upstairs" she commented getting in and buckling up. 

"That's fine, but I am not going to talk to Sam anymore tonight," Janet said. "Our last conversation was emotional enough to last for a while." 

"Fine" Cassandra commented and took the phone waiting until her mom was driving before she dialed it and talked, "Hi Grandpa George, I need you and Uncle Jack to meet me at Aunt Sam's." 

"Cass is everything ok," George Hammond asked. 

Ignoring her mother's shocked looks the teen concentrated on the phone, "Yes it is, but I need to talk to all of you. Bring Uncle Daniel and Teal'c too if you would. Say in twenty minutes?" 

When Cassie hung up the phone Jane cast a glance to the passenger seat. "What is that all about?" 

"Something I should have made clear before Sam ever left" she commented and laid the phone down before falling silent and just staring out the window. 

"And what would that be?" Janet asked. 

"You'll see mom" she promised slowly and sighed looking at her. "Do you and Sam really think I'm so stupid I couldn't see it over the years? The way you two feel about one another isn't something that either of you should be sorry for mom and I'm not a little kid anymore." 

"I'm not sorry for how I feel about Sam. I love her and that's why we argued about her not going to the Pentagon and that's why she left and disappeared," Janet admitted. "I have nothing to be ashamed of." Janet cast another glance at her daughter. "But understand this, I am emotionally drained and I'm not taking part in whatever idea you are cooking up. I can't handle anything else right now." 

"You don't have to" she snapped and looked back out at the window, "Sam does." 

Carter Residence

Sam Carter was just getting ready to head upstairs when a loud knocking came at the door. Glancing at the clock she noticed the time, "What the..." and went toward the door. "Cassie, Janet...what are you doing here? Is everything all right?" 

"Everything is fine Sam," Janet said courtly. "Cassie just wanted to see you." Janet turned to leave. "I'll be back in a few hours to get you Cassie, unless you want one of your uncles to drive you home." She walked down the three porch steps and began heading towards the drive way and her car. 

"Janet" Sam called stepped past Cassie, "Stay, please?" 

"I can't," Janet, said sadly. "Cassie wants to talk to you though." She continued to head to her car not sure where she was going to go. 

Cassie had enough and stepped in between the two onto the porch and with her mother's temper hollered, "BOTH OF YOU GET INSIDE OR SO HELP ME I'LL PUNCH SOMETHING AND...." 

"CASSIE" Sam hollered or stressed back, "Don't raise your voice to your mother, she loves you." 

"I know she does" the girl said close to tears and looked at Sam and then her mother, "Please, both of you go inside with me." 

"Cassie I told you in the car that I couldn't and you know why," Janet said standing in place looking at her daughter. "I'm sorry." She turned and reached her car. Unlocking her door she got in and started the engine. 

"Cassie" Sam began. 

Following through with her threat Cassandra walked over to her aunt's stone pillar on one side of the porch and punched it until it bled and Sam stopped her, "LET ME GO" she screamed. 

"Cassie hold still" the blond woman insisted. "JANET" she hollered picking the girl up in her arms. 

Janet wasn't listening or paying attention her mind was over run by her emotions she looked behind her and started packing up pulling into the street before shifting into drive and heading down the street. 

Getting Cassandra on the sofa and her hand wrapped in a towel Sam ran to the phone and grabbed it coming back and dialed Janet's cell phone using the code they had for it to beep a 911 emergency so she'd answer and not ignore it. ~Come on, come on~ she thought, "Cassandra what did you think you were doing? Are you crazy? Your mom is going to be furious and...." 

"SHE LOVES YOU" Cassandra screamed. "Do you know how much it hurt her when you walked away" she pleaded through the tears. "Aunt Sam why don't you love her, love us?" 

"I do" she said cupping the girl's cheek as she heard Janet's voice, "Janet it's Sam, don't hang up. Cassie punched the porch; she's bleeding from her hand. I need you back here, hurry please." 

"How bad is it Sam?" Janet asked concerned and worried. 

"Bad enough" she commented worried and told Cassie to take the bandage off. "Pretty bloody Janet and she left a print on the porch before I scooped her up and brought her inside. Can you come back? See if she needs stitches or a hospital or something? Please?" 

"Sam tell her" Cassandra said angrily, "Grandpa George and the others are on the way and...." 

"Cassie be quiet" Sam cautioned. "Please Janet, just come back ok? I need you here." 

"Sam, I don't think she will need stitches. She most likely split her knuckles. Just do a bandage wrap like I showed you," Janet said softly. "I'll take a look at it later tonight and treat it then. Tell Cassie I love her." 

Angry Sam walked away and told Cassie she'd be right back and if the guys showed up to let them in. She went up to her bedroom and closed the door, "God damn it Janet, you listen to me. You maybe furious with me, hell I don't care" she said pacing. "But Cassandra is downstairs, she's bleeding, she's hurt and she's scared and for the record and a newsflash...YOU are her mother so get your God damned ass back here or so help me God I'll find you and carry you back here" she hollered angry and shut the phone off throwing it across the room before going and joining Cassandra, they needed to talk. 

As Sam yelled at her Janet pulled to the side of the road. She waited until she heard the dial tone before turning the phone off and dialing Daniel's cell. "Daniel this is Janet," she said. "Listen when you get to Sam's I need you to treat Cassie's hand. She thought it would be a smart idea to punch Sam's porch. I told Sam to do it, but I don't know if she will." 

"Janet we're at Sam's now and...." then yelling was heard and Sam's voice came over the phone. "Where are you Janet," she said angrily and looked over at Cassandra, they had talked and the General and the Colonel were looking around confused. "Get here" she ordered and hung up the phone tossing it to Daniel. 

"Major, what is going on here" Hammond answered. 

"I'll answer that once Janet gets here General, trust me Sir" Sam insisted. 

Janet redialed Daniel's number. "Daniel, don't say my name just listen. I want you to let them talk about what ever it is that needs to be dealt with, but I am not going back there. I can't, not right now. Tell Cassie I will see her either later tonight or tomorrow. Bye Daniel." Janet finished and turned her phone on silent before dropping in onto the passengers seat. 

SGC Complex   
Hammond's Office

It took half the night for Sam to explain, with Cassie making demands and finally the woman had called in all the favors she had with the General to get him to let she, Hammond and the Colonel go back to the base and talk on the red phone. It took her another thirty minutes to explain to a very sleepy President why she was calling and he wasn't amused, "Mister President I understand this is frowned on and I'm not asking to make a public announcement but I'm not sorry for how I feel. The fact is that my sexual preferences don't fit in with what the military sees as it's image but I'm not a poster girl Sir, I'm a scientist and a front line officer that has saved this planet Sir. I'd like permission to pursue my relationship with this unnamed woman." 

"Sir with all due respect" Hammond interrupted, "I know Major Carter personally very well, and why as an officer I can't condone this all we need is your permission to keep it 'in house' at the SGC Sir. Her commanding officer on the team has agreed Mister President." 

"This is a big request you are making Major and I'm not sure I'm inclined to agree to it," the President spoke. 

Local Bar

Meanwhile Janet kept driving and finally she couldn't take it anymore and turned off the interstate. She drove into the small town and found a bar. She tossed her phone in the glove box and headed inside. At the bar she ordered and pointed to the table she would be at. "I'll be over there if you could bring the drinks to me." She took her seat and soon a waitress carrying a tray loaded with a variety of drinks came over. 

SGC Complex   
Hammond's Office

Swallowing hard Sam glanced at O'Neil, he hadn't understood at first but then in the end he had been one of the strongest supporters and she cleared her throat, "Yes Mister President it is but with all due respect Sir" she began. "If you refuse my resignation will be tendered before you can even hang up the phone." 

Hammond cussed in his mind, the woman he thought he knew the most had just all but threatened the President of the United States, "Mister President I'm sure what Major Carter means is...well Sir I'm not sure what she means but I will tell you she is highly emotional as her family was hurt tonight though not badly. The truth is we can't afford to loose her Sir and with everything she has given this program over the years I'd like to see her request honored Mister President." 

"Is there anyone that could take over Major Carter's job and position?" The President asked. 

Local Bar

Meanwhile at the bar Janet was stacking shot glazes in a pyramid formation. She already had eight stacked and another dozen lined up in front of her to down. She was consuming everything from hard liquor to the more fruity drinks. 

SGC Complex   
Hammond's Office

"With respect Sir no there..." Hammond began. 

"Sir" Jack interrupted and stood up quickly, "Major Carter is my XO and no one knows the threat the Goa'uld possess to this planet more than I do. With respect if you let her go over this Sir then you may as well condemn us all to death right now Mister President and honestly Sir she knows a lot that could damage not only this planet but uh other people personally Sir" he offered, not mentioning the man by name of course. 

Local Bar  
A man came up nursing a beer and took a seat, "Don't you think you've had enough," he offered to whoever she was. "Let me call you a cab, I'll even pay for it and you can go home."   
"No," Janet said firmly and looked to the bar keep. "Another round please." 

SGC Complex   
Hammond's Office

"Alright," the President relented. "Major Carter I will grant your request under one condition. This is to stay 'in house' if it doesn't then its over. You are going to be held accountable and if this other individual is also a career military then they will receive the same fate. Do I make myself clear?" 

With a wide grin the woman nodded to the men, "Yes Sir, I accept full responsibility for whatever happens Sir. Thank you Mister President" she said firmly and sank into a chair. 

Local Bar

The bartender brought her another drink, "Doctor" he said, at that moment he hadn't let it be known that he knew her but she had come in night months ago and picked up one of his regulars, a Jack O'Neil. "Go home huh?" 

"Doctor" the man across from her, said, "You're a doctor huh?" 

SGC Complex   
Hammond's Office

"Then if we are in agreement Major," the President. "Want to wish you success in this love adventure and may you both be happy for eternity." 

Local Bar

"Yeah I'm a doctor," Janet said. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted." She stood up and started walking towards the front door and her car. Before she fully passed the bar she threw a couple of twenties towards the barkeep for her bill. "See you another time." She exited the building and got into her car locking the door and starting the engine. She pulled and shifted into drive heading further up the interstate. There had to be another bar she could go to. 

Fraiser Residence

After getting a written acknowledgement of the agreement and Hammond's promise on paper that no matter what happened Janet wouldn't loose Cassie she headed to her house as it had started to ran and rain hard. She sent the Colonel to stay with Cassie, Daniel and Teal'c at her place but when she didn't see Janet's car she sat in the rain and waited, all night and was soaked and asleep on the front porch...the paper clutched tight in her hand when Janet finally pulled up after a night on the town. 

Janet pulled into her drive way and saw Sam asleep on her porch. She didn't want to deal with this right now and she sure enough wasn't able to think straight hell she shouldn't have even been driving she was well over the alcohol limit. Instead of turning of her car and heading into the house she put it in reverse again and was slowly backing out. 

Hearing the engine, thanks to her mechanic background Sam groggily opened her eyes and stood up seeing the car in the bare light and took a shaky step forward holding up the paper, "Janet" she called weekly and then tripped and fell face first into wet, muddy, cold ground but would Janet even care? 

Janet stopped and rolled down her window. "What do you want Sam? I am really not in the mood to have any kind of conversation," Janet said not wanting to tell her she was flat drunk. 

But no answer, no movement came. Sam was emotionally, physically and just plain exhausted. Add to that she had left Janet's before even being over the flu before and it had settled into her chest but they had been yelling at one another so much that neither had noticed. Add to that she had hit her head when she fell and a small pool of blood was forming on the ground. 

When no answer came Janet pulled the car completely into the driveway and turned off the engine jumping out to see if Sam was all right. "Sam, talk to me," she said as she approached and saw the small amount of blood mixing with rainwater. "Oh god." She ran the rest of the way to Sam's side and started examining her head. She found the cut and ripped of her sleeve to help stop the bleeding. She remained in the rain with Sam until the bleeding stopped then she went back to her car and grabbed her cell. "Daniel, its Janet. Listen Sam fell and hit her head outside my place and I can't move her inside. I need you and Teal'c to come help please," she pleaded. 

"We'll be there in ten minutes" and he hung up the phone. 

Sam meanwhile was moaning lightly and Janet could see movement in the darkness but she hadn't gotten up, just light movements. Her head was killing her and her words were jumbled so no one could understand them. 

"Sam, don't move and don't try to speak," Janet said softly knowing her voice would sound ten times louder than it was to Sam. "You fell and hit your head. I think you may have a concussion, but I don't want you to move." 

"No...." she managed to get out and started to struggle a little and finally laid still but moved the noted hand to Janet, "Hurts...note...read...the note" she managed out tiredly and then fell to sleep again or tried to as she coughed, spitting up blood gently. 

When Janet saw Sam spitting up blood red lights flashed in her mind. ~Shit~ she thought and pulled her cell out again and dialed the Academy Hospital. "This is Doctor Janet Fraiser, I need an ambulance sent to my home immediately," she requested giving them the address. She did all she could, so now she waited and shoved the note in her pocket her mind trying to focus on Sam. 

Daniel and Teal'c arrived just as the ambulance did and all rushed around, "Janet what happened" Jackson demanded worried as he rushed up while the woman was tending Sam. "Sam....Sam" he said reaching out for her hand. 

"What has transpired Doctor Fraiser" Teal'c asked as the ambulance attendants followed her orders and got the woman onto a backboard and then a gurney. 

"Sam fell and hit her head. I managed to stop the bleeding, but she started coughing up blood," Janet said her voiced laced with panic. "I can't treat her anymore here." 

They lifted Sam into the ambulance when an EMT came up to the group, "One of you can travel with us if you would like?" 

"Janet will go" Daniel insisted looking at her, "We'll get everyone and brief Hammond before meeting you at the hospital. She'd want you there Janet, go" he insisted. "Let's go T," he said turning to leave. 

"Daniel I am not going to be any help," Janet said surprisingly her voice wasn't slurred. "Maybe it would be better if you or Teal's go." 

"Listen someone better make up there..." the medic began. 

Another man poked his head out and hollered, "Hey if one of you are named Janet she's asking for you. Let's get going Paul." 

"You coming or not" the man asked Fraiser. 

"I guess I am," Janet said and started to head towards the ambulance stumbling a little as she walked. With help form the EMT Janet now found herself inside and sitting near Sam's side. 

As they pulled away sleepy blue eyes opened over the oxygen mask and she raised a hand to start to pull it away, "Janet" she mumbled tiredly. 

Janet stopped Sam's actions knowing what she was intending to do. "Leave it on Sam," she said softly. "I'm right here," She grabbed Sam's hand moving it away from the mask. 

Accepting that with a weak smile she nodded as the tech got her BP, "Note...where is...the note" Sam asked. 

"Shhh don't try to speak Sam," Janet whispered. "I have the note right here with me." She brushed wet bangs back from Sam's forehead as she spoke. 

Using the last of her strength to focus the woman turned slightly, at least her head and moaned but locked eyes on Janet's, "I love you" she said under the mask, "Never...stopped" she promised. 

"Shhh. Sleep Sam," Janet said tears pooling in her eyes. "We're almost to the hospital. Everything will be OK. You will be OK." Janet dropped her head to rest on their joined hands. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital   
Waiting Room

Hammond and the rest of a sleepy SG-1 plus Cassie poured into the waiting room to find Janet there staring out a window and Jack spoke first, "Doc how is she doing?" 

"Mom" Cassandra said and came over to her mother hugging her while rubbing her back with the bandaged hand, "Is Sam ok? What happened?" 

"I don't know. They took Sam in for x-rays and she hasn't come out yet," Janet said. "She has a cut on her head and a possible concussion, which I think is the case. She also coughed up a little blood which is never a good sign." Janet embraced Cassie then pulled away. "You should have someone here look at your hand." 

"You can look" the girl insisted to her mother. 

"Doc, can we get you anything" Jack asked. 

"I can go find some coffee Janet, Tylenol if you need it" Daniel Jackson offered concerned. 

"Please, I will be needing both and plenty of it," Janet commenting trying not to move and show just how drunk she really was. "Cassie, honey I shouldn't be looking at that. I'm not thinking clearly right now." 

"Then it can wait" the girl insisted holding onto her mom again and laid her head on her shoulder. "She's going to be ok mom." 

A man in scrubs came in at that point and came to attention at seeing Hammond, "General, I'm assuming you're here about..." 

"Major Carter, yes we are son. How is she?" the General asked and all eyes were on him. 

"Fine, though we're keeping her overnight for observation. She has a very nasty lung infection, which was the cause of the coughing up blood and she has a mild concussion but should be fine. We're waking her every hour to keep an eye on that" he offered. 

"I bet Carter loves that" O'Neil commented and glanced at the Doc, "We'll all stay with her and..." 

"I can't allow that Colonel" the other doctor stated, "Major Carter needs rest, not visitors. Now one of you can go back and stay with her, but not all of you Sir. I'm sorry." 

"Now listen here" Jack O'Neil began getting angry, "That woman is my XO and..." 

"And she is Doctor Fraiser's patient Colonel" Hammond interrupted and looked at Janet. "You stay with the Major, the rest of the team can watch Cassie. I trust you'll update me on her condition later Doctor?" 

"I don't think that's such a good idea Sir," Janet began. "I'm not exactly thinking clearly here." She untangled herself from Cassie. "Doctor, do you think someone can look at her hand. Its been banged up?" Janet asked. And tried to move to a nearby seat only to stumble and start to fall. 

And Cassie caught her as Daniel rushed up. They got her sitting down and she shook her head at the doctor, "My mom is a doctor; she'll look at it later, thanks." 

Nodding the man looked at SG-1, "Colonel would you all excuse the Doctor and myself a moment? Take Cassie with you back to your place or something." 

"Uh yes Sir" Jack commented, "Come on guys, Cassie." 

Daniel walked over and hugged Janet, "It's going to be ok Janet, promise," he said holding her a moment as Cassie waited for her turn. "I'll send in coffee and Tylenol with someone." 

"Thank you Daniel," Janet said. "For everything." She released him and embraced Cassie kissing her on the cheek. "Don't worry about Sam OK? She is a fighter and has seen worse. Now behave for your uncles." 

Once the older man and Fraiser were alone General George Hammond went to take a seat, relaxing tiredly in his civilian clothes, "Have a seat Janet because this isn't as your commanding officer. Let me ask though; are you sober enough to have this conversation? Because you're going to need to remember it later." 

"I'm not sure I am Sir," Janet said and took a seat across from her commanding officer. "I have consumed way over the legal amount." Janet looked at the floor near her feet not wanting to see the disappointment on the man's face. 

Settling back Hammond yawned and then spoke, "Janet, I'm going to speak as someone who's a friend to both you and Major Carter. For the good of all of us I'm going to 'forget' what happened before this but let me tell you what happened last night since you weren't at Sam's house. She spent over five hours, with Cassandra's help, telling and explaining she loved you. That she was going to resign so she could be with you and that she was terrified she was pressuring you, which was why she left. After that" he stated calmly. "She insisted that the Colonel and I call from the base and wake up the President of the United States so that she could get his personal assurance, at four am to have a relationship with an officer on base, she never named you and after threatening him and having the Colonel threaten him she got him to agree that as long as it stayed in house she had his permission and blessing to pursue that relationship. I outlined all that in a letter she said she wanted for you in addition to my personal promise that no matter whatever happened you would not loose custody of Cassandra. I don't make those kinds of promises lightly but just for the record let me explain to you what I explained to Sam" he said looking over at her with calm, concerned eyes and posture. "Cassandra is your daughter, no matter who you decide to have your personal relationships with I'll resign and die before I let anyone try to take her away from you. She needs you and you need her and why we are on the subject you need Sam as much as she needs you. You don't let this relationship interfere with your duties when on base then there is no problem and I wish you all the happiness in the world. You following me Janet?" 

"Yes Sir," Janet managed to get out weakly as she brought her hands to cover her face as the tears fell. 

"Doctor" he said formally, "Look at me...Janet look at me" the man said leaning forward. 

Janet just shook her head, "I can't Sir," was mumbled. 

"You can Doctor Fraiser, that's an order," Hammond stated. 

Janet lowered her hands enough where they covered her mouth but left her eyes open to look at Hammond. "Sir?" She questioned. 

"I have only two questions for you" he began, "One, do you love her?" 

"With all my heart Sir," Janet answered honestly. "And two?" 

"When she left, walked away," he said staring at her, "Did you ever waiver in that love for her?" 

"No," she said. "If anything I blamed myself when the SGC lost her. Because of what I said she left and when she came back it was because of me that she was ready to transfer to the Pentagon, but the love never wavered in the slightest." Janet took a moment to collect herself, "I'm sorry Sir, I am not much of a conversationalist right now. I am a little to drunk for that." 

Nodding Hammond stood up and glanced down at her, "Speaking as an old man here Doctor, love is a rare thing and regardless of what sex you are it seems that both you and Major Carter have found it. So do me a favor and both of you get your head out of your asses and start taking care of business" he ordered and went toward the door. "Oh and one other thing" he said stopping to look at her, "Make sure this is the last time I ever see you this drunk Doctor Fraiser. Is that understood?" 

"Yes Sir," Janet said and saluted. She continued to sit there in the silent waiting area of the hospital. 

A nurse came in shortly after Hammond left and had a cup of coffee as well as a white container with something slightly stronger than Tylenol in it and offered it to her, "If you'll let me help you Doctor Fraiser we can get you to the physicians shower room on this floor and I have scrubs so you can change into something dry and warm ma'am" she said figuring the woman wouldn't remember who she was. 

"I'm fine," Janet said not realizing she was soaking wet. "But thank you." 

"Doctor with all due respect" the nurse said again offering the pills and the coffee, "A very angry Colonel named O'Neil said if I didn't get you dry, comfortable and in the empty bed in Major Carter's room so you could be near her he'd feed me my career with a spoon. So how about you help me save my career huh," she asked with a smile. "Come on, ten minutes and you'll be dry and feel better, I promise." 

Janet took the offered coffee and aspirin. "Colonel O'Neil's just a big pussycat. He won't ever hurt a nurse. He likes them too much," she said with a wink and allowed the nurse to lead her out. 

Corridor

"Oh yeah, he acted like it ma'am" she offered sliding a hand around Janet's waist so she could support more of her weight. "Doctor Patrick also said that Major Carter's test results were to be made available to you when you wanted to see them so just let one of us know all right?" 

"It won't do much good till I can think clearly," Janet stated. 

"Oh trust me, some doctors think clearer a lot soused than pure sober," the woman commented as they neared the shower room. "Do you need some help ma'am? I'll wait out here with your scrubs if not and I already have shampoo and all that stuff that someone brought up for you from the gift shop, some black guy and said to be sure you had it. It's all in there at the first stall." 

"I think I can manage, but if you hear a thud take it as your cue that I need help," Janet said and gave a slight smile. "I'll have to remember to thank them later on." Janet entered the shower and quickly washed her body and hair, rinsing all the soap of before turning the water off. She headed back out to her awaiting scrubs. 

The nurse was still standing when Janet exited looking a little better and had a fresh cup of hot coffee as well as Major Carter's chart in hand, "If you'd like to come with me I'll take you to the Major's room Doctor and allow me to say you look like you feel a little bit better ma'am" she said not remembering that Janet was also a severely superior officer. 

"I feel a little better and please stop calling me ma'am," Janet said with a smile. "It makes me feel old." She took the chart and started looking through it. "Has there been any swelling of the brain or surrounding area?" She asked. 

"No ma'...uh Doctor" she corrected as they walked back toward the recovery area. "They have her on an antibiotic cocktail to combat the lung infection, apparently there is some kind of weird marker in her blood. Doctor Patrick pointed it out earlier" she said not realizing that Janet knew about that and it was a national security secret. "She hasn't said anything other than to mumble your name once in a while. A friend of yours I take it ma'am? Uh Doctor?" 

"Yes, a very good friend of mine," Janet said. "I already know about the odd marker, it is a side effect from an experiment that was done on her." 

"You may wish to make a note of that" she offered the woman. "The doctor has the lab running laps trying to ID it ma'am. Was there anything else I could get you?" 

"More coffee would be great and how often is Major Carter checked on?" 

"I'll get you some ma'am," she answered as they neared Sam Carter's room. "Every thirty minutes until this afternoon because of the concussion were the orders left ma'am." 

Carter Recovery Room

"Thank you," Janet said as she entered Sam's room and pulled up a chair next to the bed. She took a still hand into hers and began to rub the knuckles with her thumb. "I'm sorry Sam," Janet said softly. "So sorry." 

Hours later a nurse saw Janet Fraiser stirring from her spot beside the woman whose vitals she was checking. Pausing she dug in her pocket and handed her a note, "That was left for you" she whispered before resuming her work. 

It read: Janet, meet me in the waiting room as soon as you get this. Daniel. 

"Thank you," Janet said standing and stretching getting some of the kinks out. "Where can I get some fresh coffee?" She asked. 

"Just let one of the staff know ma'am, they'll get you some from the lounge" she offered with a smile as Sam turned her head but didn't wake up before going back to sleep. 

"Thank you," Janet said exiting the room. 

Corridor

She stopped by the nurse's station. "Can I get a cup of coffee please? A nurse said I could ask someone. I'll be in the waiting area for a little while before I come back." She informed the nurse at the station. 

Waiting Room

She headed out the big double doors to were Daniel was waiting. "Hey," she said quietly. 

Doctor Daniel Jackson had been pacing the waiting room for ten minutes when he turned at the door opening and saw a blue scrubbed outfitted Doctor Janet Fraiser come in and he sat the bag he was holding down and came up hugging her, "How is she? How are you Janet? What can I do?" he asked quickly. 

Janet returned his hug. "Right now she is asleep, but every half hour someone checks on her and every hour she is woken to make sure there aren't complications from the concussion. She is being treated with antibiotics for her lung infection," Janet answered tiredly. "She should be allowed to leave in about a day or so." She rubbed her neck. "I've been better but at least I am a little more sober." 

"Jack and T took Cassie to his place, they'll bring her in later and I told them it was ok if she stayed home until you had a chance to check her hand. I explain to Jack" he said pulling her toward a chair and sat her down gently, "How to change the bandage and he promised her would, I'll call later and see. And...." Daniel walked over picking up the McDonald's bag and the Starbucks cappuccino, "I brought you breakfast, it should still be hot so eat up" he said offering it to her as he took a seat beside her. 

"Thank you," she said taking a long drink of her coffee. "And its the strong stuff too. I don't think I could eat though." 

"Try" he encouraged softly rubbing her back. "Just a few bites so Sam won't kick my butt for letting you become all skin and bones Janet. I really don't want to come and show you a bruise on my butt from Sam's booted foot" he answered with an easy smile. 

Janet smiled back and pulled the Egg McMuffin out of the bag and took a bit. "God, I hope everything works out for the best. I really don't want to loose Sam and I don't want her moving to Washington," Janet said softly around another mouthful of food. 

"Well" Daniel began as a nurse came in and sat down a cup of coffee. "Thanks" he commented as she left. Sitting back her pulled Janet with him, holding her as a friend, "She isn't moving to Washington, I can guarantee that part based on what Jack told me and I can promise you as Sam's friend she loves you Janet. You said yourself that she'll be home in a day or so and you have permission from the President and an assurance from the General that you can pursue a relationship together, though I still can't believe Sam threatened the President at four in the morning." 

"Well you know as well as anyone what Sam is capable of when her mind is made," Janet sighed. "I came so close to loosing her. I thought I would loose myself as well." Janet let out a wry laugh. "I don't know how to put it, but she is my center. She is my light and I don't think I can function without her." Janet hung her head feeling a blush creep up her neck. 

"Come here" Daniel said softly and pulled her back and to him with her head resting on his shoulder, "You didn't loose her Janet. She's safe and you guys are going to be happy. Concentrate on that...you know Sam would want you too" he said softly to her and rubbed her arm gently. "Finish your sandwich Janet." 

Janet continued to eat in silence not stopping until she ate it all. She crumpled the wrapper and threw it back in the bag and grabbed the cup of coffee finishing of the last of that too. "Thank you Daniel," Janet said. "For understanding." She paused then asked, "So is everyone OK with this? I mean me and Sam becoming a couple." 

"Well let's see" the archaeologist admitted rubbing her back lightly, "Jack at first thought Sam was nuts, but then he said at least she had the good sense to bag the woman who could get her out of a physical. Teal'c said he knew both you and Sam were strong warriors and would only help one another. I personally was thrilled, so was Hammond once he got over the shock and Cassie was ecstatic; though I'm sure you picked that up" he offered with a wry smile. "Did I miss anyone Janet?" 

"I'm assuming Sam has yet to contact her father," Janet said. "He would be the only one left out, but as soon as he comes for a visit that will probably change. And that definitely was a Colonel comment," she smiled. "I think I'll have to use a small needle next time just because he is behind us in this." 

"Actually you may not want to do that" he stated with a smile and winked, "Apparently he wanted to know what you were like in bed. Sam wanted to deck him, but instead she told him you would never know and for the record you were better than he could ever be in his dreams; or something along those words after I got Cassie into the kitchen that is." 

"The nerve of him," Janet said a little shocked. She brought a hand up to rub her neck and relieve some of the tension forming there. "When is Cassie coming by?" 

Glancing at his watch Daniel nodded, "Around noon, she's supposed to bring you lunch assuming Sam can have it" he offered and leaned over to push her hands away to start massaging her neck, "Lean back a little Janet...relax." 

"I don't think I have slept much the last few days, at least when I was at home. I slept a little in the chair by Sam's bed," Janet said allowing Daniel to give her a massage. "It will be what about four hours till Cassie gets here right? I so need to apologize to her." 

"Actually Sam already explained when she was at the house" Jackson offered kneading the tight muscles in the woman's neck. "She told her that it was her fault you weren't there and that you were giving Sam time. Cassie seemed to accept that Janet. Isn't there an extra bed in Sam's room?" 

"Yeah, but I couldn't stand to be that far away from her. I needed to just hold her hand so I knew I wasn't dreaming her return," Janet admitted feeling a little embraced. 

"Hey it sounds good to me Janet...I've sat by friends bedsides before; even after you threatened me to go to bed" her offered and finished the massage putting his hands on her shoulders. "Feel any better?" 

"Much. I should be good to sit another round," Janet said. "I know you do and I understand why too." 

Squeezing the shoulders Daniel nodded, "Do you think I can see Sam for a few minutes before you run me off? Just make sure she's ok so I can tell the guys..." 

"Yeah, I don't see a problem its been pretty sparse around here," Janet admitted. "Come on I need to be heading back anyways." Janet stood walking towards the double doors. "I am going to get a cup of coffee from the nurses do you want one?" 

"Not if you want me to sleep? It is only a little after six and...." Daniel trailed off. 

"You haven't slept all night?" Janet said. "Daniel you know better." 

Corridor

They made a quick stop at the nurse's station. "Can you bring me anther cup of coffee please?" 

"No ma'am but I'll bring you some juice" the nurse from earlier offered and handed her the woman's current chart and lab work. "Sorry ma'am, but you told me the same thing six months ago when I was here worrying about my dad. What type of juice would you like? I can have anything you like delivered Doctor." 

Daniel just smiled and looked innocent; Sam would have a fit if Janet hurt herself from too much coffee. 

"Why do I get the impression I am being ganged up on?" Janet asked. "Orange juice would be fine. Think you could make it a screw driver then?" She asked playfully grabbing Sam's current chart and lab work. 

"Sure thing" the woman commented, "Minus the screw, and the driver of course" she countered. 

Daniel smiled and glanced at Janet, "I like her, and you should steal her for your staff Janet." 

"You only like her because she talks back to me Daniel," Janet stated. "We'll be with Major Carter. Yep being ganged up on." 

Carter Recovery Room

She pushed open the door entering quietly not wanting to wake her. 

Daniel went up to the other side of the bed and lightly rubbed Sam's blanket covered arm looking at Janet, the concern and question clear in his eyes, would she really be ok? 

"She will be fine Daniel," Janet assured him. "I know she doesn't look too good, but she will be fine. I just wish she would stop with the head injuries." 

"You and me both" he promised as a nurse came in and touched Janet's back, handing her a glass of juice. He smiled and nodded at her before glancing at the bed. "Janet" he whispered, "Go lay down for a couple hours, I'll sit with Sam. She's going to need you later and you need sleep." 

"I'll be alright," Janet smiled. "I stayed up for longer amounts of time." She took the offered juice and gave a nod to the nurse. "If you ever get tired working here and want something more exciting let me know. I might have a spot open." Janet turned her attention back to Sam. 

"Get your friend better and see if she likes me as much as you do first ma'am" the nurse whose name was Jennifer Rivers offered and left. 

"I really like her" Jackson promised. "I wish you would rest though Janet, while one of us is here." 

"All right," Janet relented but walked over to Sam's bed and kissed her forehead. "I'll be laying down in the next bed. I won't be far, but Daniel will sit with you." She left Sam and moved to the next bed laying down and pulling the blankets over herself, "Get me up if she wakes up." 

Daniel left Sam long enough to go over and fluff Fraiser's pillows for her and help her lay down before kissing her forehead, "For Sam; until she's up Janet. Now sleep, I'll keep an eye on the hero" he promised moving back over and took a seat sliding his hand in hers again. 

Janet fell asleep even though she didn't want to. Knowing that Daniel was with Sam made it a little easier and her sleep was restful. 

Hours later after Daniel left a moan came from Sam Carter's lips and she had a marching band playing way too loudly in her head. Her chest, body and hell even her hair hurt. Opening her eyes she closed them against the bright light invading her consciousness but not before she caught the sight of the sleeping woman in the chair beside her bed. She felt the IV in her arm as she shifted a little and then opened one eye tiredly, "Janet" she managed to rasp out, rubbing the hand that was in hers and likely had been for however long she had been here. "Janet" she said again. 

Hearing a voice and feeling the movement of her hand Janet's eyes snapped wide open. "Hey," she whispered as she stood moving closer to the bed. "How you feeling?" 

"Better" she managed weakly and squeezed the hand, "Janet I'm sorry...I told the guys and....Hammond...know you didn't want me to...I'm sorry" she got out using up energy quickly. 

"Shhh, its OK Sam," Janet said smiling. "General Hammond talked with me and told me what you did. I think you're a little nuts, but I love you very much for going to the President and threatening him for us." Janet raised Sam's hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry for everything. For taking off like I did. I'm such an idiot." 

"Goofy...not idiot" she promised with a weak smile and pulled Janet's hand in hers down and kissed it. "Love you Janet, sorry I left." 

"We'll have a talk when you're better all right. For now just save your strength," Janet said the concern showing in her brown eyes. "The guys and Cassie have all been worried sick about you. Daniel was here earlier though and Cassie is suppose to come by around lunch." 

"Cassie? She ok" she asked her eyes wide with worry. "Her hand...she wouldn't...let anyone look at her hand. You..." she closed her eyes against the headache and opened them again, "Headache. You have to talk to that kid...she...hit my porch Janet." 

"I know and I will. When she gets here I plan on taking a look at her hand," Janet said in a motherly tone. "I couldn't do that last night, but Daniel is going to make sure it gets cleaned and changed today." Janet had a bit is self recrimination in her voice after all if she had stayed Cassie wouldn't have hit the porch. 

"Wasn't you" she proclaimed as the door opened. 

Jennifer came in and smiled, "Ah I see the sleeping friend is awake. Good morning Major, I'm Sergeant Rivers, Jennifer or Jen...just don't call me late for dinner." 

Sam actually smiled and rolled her eyes before closing them, "She's like you...heaven help me." 

"Well thank you for the compliment Major" she commented. "Doctor since you're here do you want do her vitals and such? I'm about ready to go off shift too so if you need anything..." 

"I'll give you fifty dollars" Sam said tiredly, "If you won't let her shine that light in my eyes." 

"Very funny Sam," Janet said. "You know if you would just stop getting head injuries you wouldn't get the light so much." Janet grabbed Sam's chart and pulled out a pen. 

"Uh oh, two senior officers disagreeing that's a sign for all of us lower ranks to leave" Jennifer volunteered as she watched Janet work with Sam. "Don't feel bad Major, she did the same to me about three months ago, but she was in a bad mood then. Oh and Doctor they have more juice for you if you want it" she said with a grin. 

Sam opened her eyes and laughed, "I really...really like her. Did she get any sleep Jennifer?" she asked yawning. 

"Not much Major, wanted to sit by your..." 

"I don't want juice I want coffee," Janet said smiling. "And consider my offer Jennifer, I could always use someone like you on my staff. Especially if you're like me." Janet flashed an evil grin at Sam. "Hey, I wasn't the one injured," Janet gave a mild glare at Jennifer for that. 

"Say yes Jennifer" Carter intoned gently, "I always need..." she yawned again and saw that penlight coming and closed her eyes. "If I get her to say yes will you not flash me," she asked her lover. 

Jennifer giggled, "I was already prepared to say yes, I like Doctor Fraiser and besides I like change Major but if it helps you can use me to save yourself a flash, but I doubt it will work ma'am." 

"I like her. She still believes in giving the flash. Now open your eyes Sam," Janet chastised holding the penlight near Sam's face. "I would still like a cup of coffee though." 

"Me too" the patient intoned but didn't open her eyes. 

Jennifer laughed at the antics, these two were definitely not like most senior officers, "I'll get juice for the Major and juice and coffee for the Doctor. You want her to flash me first Major?" 

"You wouldn't let her do that," Sam stated. 

"Sure I would, but you gotta open your eyes to see her do it right" Jennifer asked. 

Janet silently laughed knowing what Jennifer was trying to do. "You will never see it happen if you don't open your eyes Sam." 

"Hmmm...." but the woman opened her eyes slowly. 

Janet waited for the right moment when Sam's eyes were almost completely open before flashing her. First the left eye then the right. 

"AH" the woman hollered and blinked after the light moved, "No fair...no fair." 

"Now Major" Jennifer stated slowly, "I didn't say whether she would flash me before or after you did I?" 

"Still not fair" Sam groused lightly and looked at her lover, "You gonna flash her now?" 

"She is bringing me coffee," Janet stated. "And you should behave or no blue jello for you." Janet loved teasing her lover. 

"Blue jello I can do, I know a friend in the kitchen" Jennifer proclaimed and came over smiling. "Never let it be said that I lied to a superior officer. Go ahead Doctor, flash me so the Major's happy." 

Janet moved over to Jennifer to flash her. She first flashed the right eye then the left and got the same slow response. "Jennifer have you been having any problems with your eyes or headaches?" Janet asked. "Let me take another look." 

"Just general stuff and don't worry about it" she commented waving it off and smiling. "I'll get your guys drinks now and then I'm heading home. Doctor Fraiser I'll contact your office about the transfer in the next day or two ma'am. Major feel better, I'm sure you'll be discharged before I get back since I have tomorrow off," Jennifer said. 

"Jennifer, let me take another look," Janet insisted looking at the young woman unsure of what she saw and what it could mean. 

"You better listen to her before..." Sam began. 

"It's fine ma'am, Doctor, thanks, but I gotta run" she answered heading around the bed to leave. 

"Jennifer wait," Janet tried to get her but she managed to dodge her and leave. Janet stood there staring and the closed door. 

Sam had to laugh and leaned her head back, "Go after her Janet...I'm fine. I promise not to leap out the window" she joked with a wink. 

"No," Janet said and shook her head but chanced another glance at the door. Something wasn't right but she couldn't quiet put her finger on it. She moved back to the bed and leaned down giving Sam a kiss, "I missed you." 

"If that's the payment I get then I like being missed honey" she commented tiredly and scooted over to pat a spot beside the bed and held up her arm, "When can I loose the tubing Janet? Don't wanna get tangled in it when I ravish you in about two minutes." 

"Funny. No ravishing till your home," Janet said as she took a seat on the bed. "And you have to keep that in most likely till they release you. You got pretty dehydrated when you disappeared." 

"I did not" Sam protested and stuck her tongue out. 

Janet leaned forward and captured Sam's tongue between her teeth before she pulled it back into her mouth. Janet just took a minute to suck on it watching the effects it had on Sam. 

In response Sam used her free hand to reach out from under the blanket and rub Janet's clothed vagina and raised her eyebrows, she would have smiled if she could have. 

Janet released Sam's tongue kissing her fully on the lips before pulling back for oxygen. "Hi," Janet said with a smile. 

"Hi yourself and...." she yanked her hand back when a male nurse came in and carried two glasses of juice sitting them on the table. 

"Sergeant Rivers said you and the Major were waiting on those doctor." 

"I told that kid coffee" Sam complained. 

"You don't get coffee," Janet said as she took her glass. "And apparently I don't either." She took a long drink holding Sam's juice out to her. 

"But I don't like juice" Carter complained. 

"Doctor can I get you anything else?" 

"Coffee please," Janet requested flashing one of her brightest smiles. "You are recuperating and can have either juice, milk or water." 

"Coffee pooper" Sam complained but took the juice and sipped it, making a face each time. 

The nurse left and brought a coffee back to Janet, "I didn't know how you liked it ma'am." 

"Black usually," Janet took the mug and had a sip. "Thank you." 

That afternoon Cassie and SG-1 visited and the General had called to check on her. Talking with the guys she watched Janet head for Cassie who was seated beside her, "Guys, can you give us girls a second?" 

"Sure Carter" the Colonel stated. "T and I will bring you back dinner. Danny boy wants to go play with his rocks and the T man and me are going to catch a movie. You want us to wait for you Cassie or you gonna stay with the women today?" 

Janet wrapped her arms around Cassie giving her a tight hug. 

"I think I'll stay Uncle Jack," Cassie's voice declared. 

The man shrugged as Daniel hugged everyone, "I'll bring you back some cotton candy or something kiddo. Later ladies, come on guys" he said and led the way out. 

Now that they were alone Sam looked over from her seated position, "Cassie it's time you let your mom look at your hand and then we need to talk. Do you have any idea how not right it was to hit the porch?" 

"Well I had no choice, you guys weren't listening" the girl insisted. 

Janet stood before Cassie and carefully unwrapped her hand. "Cassie it doesn't matter honey. I never want you to hurt yourself because of anyone or us. OK?" Janet stepped back disposing of the used bandaged and grabbing a fresh one. She pulled on a pair of gloves and moved over a tray of water to clean it out. 

"Well I yelled as loud as I could and you guys weren't listening" she insisted as Sam rubbed her back. "Is that gonna hurt mom? Cause if it is tell me now." 

"How's it look Janet" Carter asked leaning over to look at the hand and winced. "Man Cass, I really wish you hadn't done that." 

"It will sting a bit honey. You split your knuckles open and those don't heal very fast," Janet said with motherly concern. "Even though we weren't listening I still don't want you to hurt yourself," Janet stated firmly. "Its no excuse." She took the sponge and dabbed it in the water before holding Cassie's hand above the tray and washing out the abrasions and cuts. 

Turning her head Cassandra buried her face into her aunt's chest and Sam rubbed her back, "Done yet" she asked every two seconds. 

Carter had to smile and winked at Janet, "Do you think it needs any stitches Janet or not?" 

"No," Janet said softly. "You got lucky this time. Though I should put them in just because they hurt. After that you may think twice before pounding anything again." Janet set the sponge aside and grabbed clean one to apply the disinfectant. "Now this will burn a lot Cassie. It's to get ride of the bacteria so an infection won't set in." She dabbed the sponge and began applying it. 

The girl winced and tried to pull her hand back as her mother tender her hand. 

Sam rubbed her back, "Easy Cassie...it's ok. Almost done honey." 

"I'm sorry honey," Janet whispered. "I'm almost done." She quickly finished and sat that sponge down too. "All I need to do is rewrap your hand and that's the easy part." Janet pulled the gauze out of the package and started to wrap Cassie's hand using a very soft touch. If you weren't watching her you wouldn't have thought she touched her. 

Pulling her head away from her aunt Cassie smiled, "It's ok mom, I know you didn't hurt me on purpose. Sorry I worried you guys, I just love ya." 

"We know" Carter promised stroking her hair, "But you know your mom should still punish you for the stunt right?" 

"Oh trust me," the teen said flexing her hand gently, "She will unless she's getting mellow in her old age." 

"I am not old," Janet said raising her voice. " I should ground you just for that comment." She leaned forward kissing Cassie's cheek. "We really do love you," Janet said looking into her daughter's eyes. "And I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it" the teen commented kissing her mom and hugging her. "Just don't do it again or I may have to ground you next time" she commented. 

"OH she listens to you too much Janet," the other woman complained. "So when can I get out of here and go home so you two can spoil me rotten?" 

"You don't get to be spoiled," Janet said. "You knew you were still sick, yet made it a point to stay out in the rain getting soaked to the bone." 

"Yeah but I'm cute" Sam said and gave a goofy grin. 

Cassandra laughed and climbed down, "All you're going to get is mom to give you a physical Sam, because you're acting weird now. Mom can I go play the game system in your office for a while? I promise not to touch nothing else..." 

"Anything else Cass" Carter corrected her. 

"Sure honey," Janet said. "I'll check on you in an hour or so." Janet reached out and grabbed Sam's hand giving it a squeeze. "She really did a number on her hand. She gets it from you I hope you know." 

That brought a laugh as Sam scooted over so Janet could sit down, "You must be kidding...she is you Janet, EXACTLY like you and you know it. Sometimes at night" she admitted, "I'll get up and go watch her and am reminded how much she looks, acts, behaves, like you. She has your intelligence, compassion, determination, spirit and love qualities because all I had to do was look at her and I was hooked just like you." 

Janet kissed Sam passionately before pulling away. "When I look at her I see you," Janet admitted. "She almost has your hair color, she definitely has you love for science and I think she will probably be tall like you. She also possesses a confidence like you, but at the same time could be shy about certain things." Janet kissed Sam again. "God this is torture." 

"Well you know" Sam admitted and her eyes sparkled with a nod, "I had an idea about that. There are tests that you can order, you know exams and we would be alone, in an unmonitored room, with me naked from the waist down and well you in a very nice position" she admitted and captured Janet's hand in hers and smiled. "I do believe I'm in need of a full physical Doctor Fraiser, what do you think" she asked evilly.


	4. Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a crisis happens Janet and Sam rely on one another

Fraiser Residence

With a grunt Major Samantha Carter placed the last box from her place in the bedroom of she and Janet's house. It had been over a month since they were an official couple and why they had a few fights now and then they loved one another and Cassandra very much and were a happy family. Because the house she was moving out of was in her name and she didn't want to sell it she had come up with a solution and both Daniel and Teal'c jumped on it. The archaeologist had always wanted more space than an apartment and Teal'c didn't have anyplace to stay off base unless it was a team member's house so they moved in together. They'd pay the utilities but otherwise they were staying in the house rent free just so it didn't stand empty. 

SG-1 was heading out on a recon mission tomorrow for three days and like all the time since she now had an 'official' family to come home to she hated to leave. On top of that she had to get back to the base later today, she'd just taken her lunch break in order to move some stuff since Janet was busy giving her new staff physicals. She promised to bring her back some lunch though when she heard the phone ringing. Walking over she grabbed it, "Fraiser residence. Oh hey Janet" she answered sitting on the bed, "Got a break in the physicals huh? You done Sergeant Rivers yet, I bet she so has fun when you go poking her uni." 

"Very funny Sam, Janet said. "I just finished with Jennifer and I'm waiting for the results now." She paused before continuing. "I tried to talk with her again today like when you were in the hospital but she keeps avoiding it. I have this funny feeling about it." 

Seriously Sam nodded as she lay back on the bed, "I know what you mean Janet, I tried to talk to her when I gave the large briefing before taking the afternoon off and she just seemed in awe but that's understandable. I know you can't tell me what you suspect," she said calmly. "Maybe we are just worrying for nothing." 

"I hope that's the case Sam. She is a good person I'd hate to see something happen to her," Janet commented. "I guess I will see you at home tonight." 

That brought a smile to Carter's face, "You sure will honey. I moved the last of my stuff over here and except for having to have a fast meeting in a little over an hour I can leave before you do. Do you want to go out or stay home tonight?" 

"Since you will be gone for three long days I say we stay in," a smile appeared on her face. "Have a nice quiet evening maybe watch a movie. I think Cassie will be home. We could even start to unpack some of your stuff." 

"You are just tired of tripping over my stuff with those beautiful short legs of yours Doctor" she answered and giggled. 

"Actually I would rather just snuggle but its up to you," Janet said softly. She was still in awe how this was really happening and people knew. 

"Damn, you twisted my arm" Sam commented. "Snuggling it is but you get to play pillow to the teen terror then." 

"Don't I always?" Janet asked playfully. "So since you get home first what's for dinner?" 

"That is a surprise," she informed her with a smile. "Listen I gotta get back, I'll stop by for a kiss when I get there though. Love ya and behave Janet dear, no poking uni's without thinking of me ya hear?" 

Janet just laughed. "Love you," and hung up the phone. 

SGC Complex  
Fraiser's Office

She was sitting in her office for about twenty minutes when a nurse knocked. "Come in." 

Marcie, one of the woman's junior staff, came in with a folder and a larger file, "The MRI's and blood work on Sergeant Rivers ma'am. You said you wanted to get it as soon as it had arrived" she said offering the files to her boss. 

"Thank you," Janet said taking the file and opening it. She moved to the light box and placed the first of the MRI's on the panel. She thumbed through the blood work and other test results taking a glance at the MRI. Her eyes went wide at what she saw. Quickly Janet grabbed her phone and called the lab. "Yes this is Doctor Fraiser. Did you send up the correct results for Sergeant River's?" 

"One moment Doctor" and hurried typing was heard, "Yes ma'am, batch number 1090187, if that's what you have" the man on the phone stated. "Is there something wrong ma'am?" 

"Are you absolutely positive there was no mix up?" 

"Yes ma'am but if you want us to shoot another set we'll need the Sergeant to report back here" he offered confused. 

"I'll order down right away with the explanation that her samples where contaminated," Janet informed. "Put a rush on it right away and thank you." Janet hung up the phone and immediately headed into the main infirmary where Sergeant Rivers was present. "Sergeant Rivers," Janet called. "There seems to have been a problem in the lab and your samples were contaminated. I need you to report there and give another set. Please." 

Jennifer looked over at the nurse who was explaining some things and she nodded and stood up, "Sure Major, whatever you need. Same work up or something new," she asked with a smile. 

"Lets go with the same work up. If something comes up I will order a new batch," Janet instructed. "And you can just call me Janet or Doctor." 

"Sure thing ma'am, no problem" she offered and shrugged letting another nurse lead her out. 

Two hours later Marcie again brought in the films and results with the same thing as before only this time she added, "Sergeant Rivers said she went home for the day and if you needed her you could call the cell. Said she had a lot of reading and stuff to do with her new assignment Doctor." 

"Thank you Marcie," Janet said warmly. "I don't think that will be necessary. I'll be in here if I am needed." Janet placed the new MRI next to the old one and saw the same results. Everything was the same for each of her tests. This was something Janet hated to see especially in friends' results. She started to breakdown and cry when there was a knock at her door and Marcie returned. 

"Doctor" the woman began and saw she was crying, "I'm...I'm sorry ma'am. I'll get Doctor Warner or Peterson," she said turning to make her retreat. 

Janet didn't even acknowledge her presence just continued to weep getting more and more angry. Finally she got angry enough and threw her empty mug at the wall listening to it shatter at it made impact. 

And minutes later Sam came in and locked the door, Marcie had called her, "Ok, what's wrong" she insisted coming over to her lover who was on the sofa and put a hand on her knee. "Come on Janet, you can tell me anything you know that. What's got you so upset? You rarely loose your cool." 

Janet just shook her head as the sobs continued to rake through her body causing hard shutters with every cry. 

Sam could nothing but pull her lover toward her and stroked her hair as they settled back, "Shh....I'm here Janet...it's going to be all right." 

Once again Janet shook her head. "I...it's...not," she finally managed to get out between sobs clinging to Sam like a life line. 

"Janet" she said fighting her own tears and holding the woman, her best friend and soul mate tighter, "I don't...know what's going on but I know it's something you care about or it wouldn't affect you this much. I'm here...no matter how you need me to be," she promised kissing her head gently. "I love you so much." 

As Sam continued to hold her sobs and shaking began to subside not because she hurt any less but because she had fallen asleep. 

Rivers Apartment

Sergeant Jennifer Rivers was just getting ready to sit down with her daughter to have dinner when she heard a knock at the door, "Kira, I'll be right there" she called to the twelve year old little girl and went to the door. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming" she called and pulled the door open. 

Standing at the door was a very red eyed Janet and Sam. Janet couldn't look at Jennifer not wanting to do this. 

"Major...Doctor" she said shocked as her daughter came running in. 

"Mom dinner is..." the brown haired girl said and stared at them, "Whose that?" 

Jennifer smiled and glanced at her daughter, "These are two of my bosses from work. That" she pointed to Janet, "Is Doctor Janet Fraiser and that," she pointed to Sam, "Is Major Samantha Carter. Major, ma'am this is my daughter Kira." 

"Hi there" Sam stated smiling and shook the girl's hand. 

"Hi" Kira said and looked at Fraiser, "You're really a doctor huh?" 

"Yes I am. I get to work with your mom all the time," Janet said tears forming in her eyes again. She looked at Jennifer. "She is very pretty and looks just like her mom." She wasn't able to say anything else the emotions beginning to choke up on her. 

"Thank you" Jennifer stated with a nod and put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "Honey why don't you take Major Carter and show her your room? She's a scientist and likes to look at new things." 

"Sure mom" the girl said and offered her hand to Sam, "Come on, that means mom thinks she and the Doctor have something I don't need to hear them talk about." 

When Sam looked at her Janet gave her a slight smile and nodded. She really didn't want Kira to hear what she had to say. Hell she didn't want to hear or say it. She watched as Sam was led further into the house. 

Once they were alone Rivers motioned her in, "Please, come in and have a seat ma'am. We were just having dinner if you and Major Carter would like to join us" she offered with a smile. "Are you ok? Can I get you a glass of water or something ma'am?" 

"Water would be nice and I'm sorry to have interrupted your dinner," Janet said. "We could come back at a later time," she began to rise off her seat intent on getting Sam and leaving them to finish their meal. 

"No that's all right" she offered with a nod, "Just sandwiches tonight, we go easy one night a week. Please have a seat, I'll be right back" Jennifer stated heading into the kitchen. When she came back she handed her boss the water and smiled, "Ma'am are you sure you're ok? Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"No," Janet managed. "I am actually here to tell you something. One would think things like this would get easier but they never do," she took a drink of the offered water letting the coldness travel down her throat. 

"What are you referring to ma'am" she asked curiously and went to take a seat across from her boss. 

Janet looked down at her hands holding the glass. "I thought it would be better for you to hear this here in your own home rather than at the base." She paused gathering strength to get the next part out. "Your samples never got contaminated the first time. I had you give another set to make sure the results were right. God, I hoped they were wrong." 

Forcing herself to relax and remain calm Jennifer nodded and settled back, "Why? What's wrong ma'am? You said everything seemed fine, though you did keep flashing that light in my face but Colonel O'Neil told me you just liked to do that" she offered. 

"I like to do it to him because he annoys my staff, but I had reasons for you," Janet said taking another drink. "Each time I tested your eyes the pupil dilation was slow. There are several things that can cause this but having the MRI it clarified matters." She stopped still not wanting to make eye contact. God could she even do this, she considered Jennifer to be a friend after everything she had done for Sam and herself when Sam was in the hospital. 

"AND" the woman insisted slowly staring at Fraiser, "What did it clarify Doctor?" 

"Can I ask you something," Janet said. "Do you have a will made and things set up so Kira would be taken care of if something should happen to you?" 

"Oh God" she said rising as her daughter came running in with Sam, "Kira go back to your room." 

"But mom..." 

"NOW" she hollered. 

"Come on Kira" Sam said with a smile and took her hand, "I'll show you a really cool website where you can download cool stuff" and they left. 

Rubbing her face Jennifer went to a window and looked out, "Just...just tell me what is Doctor, stop dancing around." 

"I'm sorry Jennifer," Janet said using her name. "This isn't easy for me to say. Especially to someone I consider a friend." She walked over and put a hand on Jennifer's shoulder. "You may want to sit for this." 

Shrugging off the hand she hugged herself and stared out at the night, "I...I'm fine and I don't want to sit. Just tell me." 

"Jennifer that MRI shows that you have a tumor growing in your brain. While at the moment it is relatively small as it grows there will be complications," Janet stated. "Tests will need to be made to see if the tumor is cancerous or if it will respond to treatment either radiation or chemo." While Janet said all this she looked strait at Jennifer's reflection in the window making eye contact that way. "I suggest that if you do not have a will and things set up for Kira that you do before too much time passes. I don't think it will come to that, but there is no way of knowing for certain." 

As the words sank in Jennifer's heart broke as she thought about her daughter, the girl's father was dead and her parents were dead. She didn't have any brothers or sisters so there was no one to take her and...."That doesn't make sense. I just had a physical when they transferred me to the Academy Hospital a little over six months ago; the doctor who did it said I was fine. This must be a mistake," she said shaking her head. 

"I had the lab run the test twice to make sure there were no mistakes," Janet said sadly. "It's still in the very early stages of growth so treatment is a strong probability." Janet paused. "You don't have to go through this alone. I will be here to help you as I'm sure Sam will be." 

"I'm..." she lowered her head, wanting to cry but she couldn't. Kira didn't need to know about this, "Thank you but I'm fine. If that was all" Jennifer began and looked up, "I really should get Kira her dinner Doctor Fraiser, but thank you for stopping by." 

Janet had tears falling. "Jen, don't shut people out, not when you need them most." Janet placed a comforting hand on Jennifer's arm trying to give her support. "Do you need help getting things in order?" 

"Not much to get in order ma'am, but I can't talk about this now" she insisted clearing her throat and stepped away. "Kira" she called, "Come out and start on your dinner please." 

"MOM" the girl yelled but came running out with Sam behind her. 

"Honey it's late and Doctor Fraiser and Major Carter need to get home. Tell them thank you and go eat" Jennifer insisted to the girl. 

Sighing Kira turned to Sam, "Thanks Sam." 

Janet handed Jennifer a piece of paper before they headed to the door. "This has our home number on it as well as both our cells. If you need anything Jennifer at any time, day or night please give one of us a call," Janet offered hoping she would take them up on it. 

"Yeah...yeah thanks" she said and moved slowly toward the door and opened it. "Doctor I...I'm going to take tomorrow off, if that's ok that is?" 

Sam watched the two women slightly confused as she stepped out into the hall after wishing Kira bye and good luck on the game. Janet hadn't told her what was going on quoting doctor/patient issues but she could sense it wasn't good. 

"I would insist that you do," Janet said with a small smile. "When you return we will run some needed tests and get answers to the problem I have to solve. I'll need your help to do this though," Janet added not wanting to peek Kira's curiosity and start having her ask all kinds of questions. "I think with your smarts and mine we can find the solution that works." She stepped through the door heading for teh car. 

Enroute To Fraiser Residence

They had gotten a few miles when Sam pulled over and reached over hugging her lover, "Baby it's ok...it's going to be ok" she promised. 

Janet started to cry again. "I don't think it is Sam," she mumbled. "Not this time." The tears were streaming down her face making red eyes even redder. 

Fraiser Residence

As the woman broke down Sam did nothing, could do nothing but hold her and when they got home Cassandra was waiting but Carter shook her head at her as she held Janet in her arms, "Your mom has had a rough day Cassie, I'm going to get her into a bath upstairs and then order dinner unless you want to. Just no pizza" she stated squeezing her lover, her heart to her chest as she moved toward the stairs. 

"Sure Sam" Cassandra said and raced over stopping them and leaned over kissing her mom's cheek, "Love you mom, a lot. Let Sam help, call if you need me." 

Janet smiled at Cassie's affections. "I love you too honey," she managed her voice rough from all the crying. She didn't try to fight Sam as she was led up the stairs towards their room. 

After running a bath Carter came and started to undress her lover, "We'll get you into a nice warm bath, by the time you're done dinner will be here, and then a night in my arms with your loving daughter beside you will make you feel a lot better Janet" she said pulling her uniform shirt off after unbuttoning it and started to take off her bra. "Would you like a glass of wine while you bath sweetheart?" 

"No. Thank you Sam," Janet whispered. "I didn't know Jennifer even had a daughter." She started to cry with that thought, if Jennifer died what would happen to the little girl. 

"It's ok...I didn't either" she commented and leaned down to start taking off her shoes and socks and then reached up to unbuckle her pants. "It's going to all be ok baby. Stand up for me would you" Sam asked offering her hands to Janet when she stood up. 

Janet didn't protest as Sam kept undressing her. This wasn't sensual but done out of love. If it weren't for Sam at the moment Janet wouldn't be able to move. Her mind separated from her body in thought. 

After sliding Janet's pants and panties down the woman paused one moment to cup her lovers vagina, "You're so hot Janet but we'll handle that later" she said and carefully started to pick her up. "I'll bring you up some wine after I get you in the tub all right? I love you so much Janet, just relax baby girl." 

Janet wrapped her arms around Sam's neck as she was picked up and rested her head on a shoulder. She found herself now in the warm bath a little confused as to how she got there. The last thing she remembered was handing Jennifer their numbers. 

A few minutes later Sam came in and handed Janet a wine goblet, it had a quarter of a glass in it and then she picked up a washcloth rolling up her right sleeve, "Cassie says dinner will be here in about forty minutes, she also has a friend renting a movie she thinks we'd like and dropping it off. She ordered us all spaghetti and meatballs from that place you like. I gave her the money," she stated and leaned over pressing her lips to Janet's, separating them with her tongue as she explored her lovers mouth tenderly. 

Janet returned the kiss letting herself get lost in that moment for a while. She broke away only when oxygen became an issue. "Don't get mad, but I gave Jennifer your cell as well as mine and the home number," Janet said. "I told her to call at anytime and I also kind of volunteered you if she needed someone. I am more than willing to help, but since I told her the news and I'm her Doctor I don't know if she will turn to me as a friend. She might you." She sighed. "Don't be mad that I did that without asking first." 

A soft smile gracing her lips Sam sank down on her knees beside the tub, "I'm not mad Janet...far from it. I'm honored you think of me so highly and why I don't know what's going on I'll do all I can..." she promised wetting the rag in the tub and started to slide the washcloth under the water on her lovers thigh, "To help you know that. But as much as I like Jennifer it's my last night on world with you for three days sweetie, I really don't want to spend all that time talking about her at the moment" she said with a sultry sound to her voice and started to wipe over the woman's center with the cloth. "Open your legs a little" she encouraged locking eyes with Janet. 

"I'm sorry Sam," Janet said capturing her lips. "I can't do that right now. I can't fool around and have sex. I know it's your last night and I'm sorry." Tears started to form in her eyes and she dropped her head closing her eyes against the emotions. 

A bit disappointed Sam pulled her hand away and sat the washcloth down but didn't show anything but love as she reached over and took the wine glass from her lover and sat it down and then held her hand, "It's ok my love, I understand. Tell me what to do...how to help you with whatever is going on and I'm there. I love you Janet, please don't be sorry with me," she pleaded. "I can leave you alone until dinner comes if you need some time to yourself." 

"No I am ready to get out," Janet said. "Can we just lay on the bed and you hold me?" She asked in a childish voice. 

"Sure we can baby, let me just get a towel and your pajamas ok" Sam stated and stood up leaning over to give her a quick kiss. "I love you Janet, remember that ok? I'll be right back" she commented turning to go get the clothes. 

Janet picked up her glass and drained the last of the wine in one gulp. She was holding it running her finger around the lip when Sam returned. 

With tender love Carter came back and helped Janet out, drying her off and then she dressed her before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom and sat her in bed. After kicking her shoes off she crawled in after her and wrapped her arms around her and pulled them both down to lay and squeezed her body close to hers, so close she leaned over and kissed her like she had in the bathroom before only Sam pulled back this time, "I love you Janet and I'm here...I'm here baby girl, I promise" she said tenderly. 

"I love you," Janet whispered. "I don't think I could do this without you." She snuggled closer to Sam resting her head on a shoulder and wrapping an arm around the slender waist. 

It was a while later when Sam leaned over and kissed her sleeping lover, "Janet...you need to wake up. Dinner and the movie are here" she said after Cassie had come in and told her earlier. "Baby, wake up." 

Janet opened sleepy eyes to look at her lover. "Want to sleep," she said and started to snuggle back down when her stomach growled. 

A smile graced the blond Major's lips, "Sounds like you're hungry to me Janet and Cassie already told me to stop hogging you. She said she needs some mommy love whatever that means," she stated seriously. "So you gotta go love your daughter, after we eat that is." 

Janet mumbled as she pushed herself up leaning over Sam's laying form. She kissed her passionately before standing up. "Meany." 

"Yep that's me" she proclaimed and stretched but made no move to rise. "Cassie said mommy love, not Sam love so I figure I can just sleep and...." 

Janet moved back and began to tickle her lover. "You're not getting out of it that easily," she said as her fingers attacked Sam's sides. 

"Hey...no....fair" Carter said between giggles. 

Minutes later the two came down, Sam had changed into a sweatpants set and saw Cassie setting out three plates of spaghetti and meatballs on the smaller kitchen table and then three juices and garlic bread appeared, "Hey Cass." 

"Hi Sam, mom" the girl said and came over kissing her. "You feel better mom? Is there anything I can do?" 

"Much better. I'm OK Cassie," Janet said kissing her daughter back. "Don't worry there's nothing wrong with me just a hard day at work." Janet smelled the food. "This all smells wonderful, thank you both." 

"Thank Brian Newman, he's the guy who owns the restaurant" Cassandra said and walked over pulling out her mom's chair as Sam took a seat. "When I gave him the last name he asked if I was relation to Doctor Fraiser and I told him yes. He sent a seven-course meal; the rest is in the kitchen and refused to let me pay for it. Said to tell you thanks and it was the least he could do. Who is he mom?" 

"He's a patient in a way," Janet said. "When Sam was in the hospital so was he. He had been in an accident and they told him he would loose his leg. I took a look and wound up saving it. His Doctor should have seen it too, but there was conflict between them. I simply took over his care at that point." She took a drink of her juice before picking up her fork. "I'll have to thank him when I do a follow up." 

"Another case of Super Doc I see" Sam and Cassandra said at the same time and giggled. 

After dinner the three women got comfortable on the sofa as the movie played. Sam was seated in the back with her hand under Janet's shirt, resting on her left breast. Cassandra was lying on her mom and had popcorn in a bowl in front of her and was snuggled up to her mother. 

Janet was leaning back into Sam as much as she could while her arms were wrapped around her daughter. She occasional reached and grabbed some popcorn either for herself or to feed Sam. "What is this movie called?" 

"Under the Tuscan Sun" Cassie volunteered as she relaxed into her mother and got a piece of popcorn. She loved family moments like this it was just perfect. 

Leaning forward Carter kissed her lovers head and rubbed her breast before settling back and pulling Janet a little more into her, "Let the movie roll." 

Janet was enjoying the movie as it played. "He is such an asshole," she commented at the woman's husband when he left her. 

After the movie the two women got Cassandra in bed and tucked in before retreating to their room and Sam started to pull her shirt off, "I'm going to grab a shower Janet. You need anything before that honey?" 

"Yes," Janet said moving to stand behind Sam and wrapping her arms around her waist. She placed soft kisses along her back as her hands kept busy moving across bare skin and nails lightly scrapping along the way. 

"Playful are you" she asked turning in the woman's arms and wrapped her hands on her waist. "You're so beautiful Janet...so beautiful" she stated and slid a hand down to rub her own vagina through the sweatpants. "I...I thought you didn't...couldn't do this tonight baby?" "I couldn't but," Janet shrugged. "I guess I wanted some time to forget a little. I need this now. I need you." She stood on tippie toes to give Sam a kiss like none before and was full of want and desire and need. 

Breaking contact on the lips Sam stepped forward moving them toward the bed while at the same time pulling her sweats down and they fell around her ankles and then used her hands to start unbuttoning Janet's top, "I want you Janet...I need you baby...need you bad" she commented kissing her neck, licking from behind her ear to down her lovely, beautiful, gorgeous neck. 

Janet tilted her head giving Sam better access to her neck she pushed Sam's panties down to join her sweats savoring the feel of soft flesh. She slid her hands around finally stopping to grip a firm ass. "Want," she breathed out. 

Sam pushed them both back on the bed and slowly brought her head down to take one of her lovers breast in her mouth as she started to rub Janet's crotch through her pajamas, "So sweet..." she moaned lightly biting the nipple and pulling it with her as she pulled back and then let it go to concentrate on the other breast. 

Janet arched under Sam's ministrations but found enough strength to roll then over so Sam was pinned under her. "This is your night," she whispered seductively before capturing wanting lips. She released Sam's mouth only to move down trailing wet kisses down her neck to the valley between her breasts. She lavished one nipple, sucking on it, licking it and biting it before pulling away just enough to blow cool air across the sensitive flesh. She stopped only long enough to shift to the other breast repeating her actions. She then began to move further down trailing wet kisses along the way until she hit her navel then dipped her tongue in moving it in a circular movement before continuing her journey. 

Sam arched up and ran her hands now through Janet's hair lightly, "Oh baby...God Janet...so hot...You're so hot...need you...want you" she cried out passionately and spread her legs more, inviting the woman inside however she wanted to be. 

With the invitation Janet moved further down Sam's lanky but muscular body. Now her head was situated between Sam's legs and she could see just how wet Sam had become. She blew on Sam's crotch to see what reaction that would bring forth from her lover. 

In response the woman's eyes closed and she brought her legs up, crossing them behind Janet's back and pinned her toward her, "Inside..." she panted, "Want you inside" and tossed her head from side to side as the air hit her hot flesh, she had a need that only one person could satisfy. 

Janet answered Sam's plead and with one last blow across heated flesh she dropped her head letting her tongue move among the folds. She took in Sam's scent and essence until Sam was panting from her thrusting her tongue in and out. 

"MORE" Carter pleaded holding Janet's head between her legs with her hands as best she could and licked her lips, "I...want...more of you...MMM...JANET" she cried out. 

Janet moved her mouth from Sam's center to her bundle of nerves and began to suck and nip as she inserted first one finger then two and thrust as deep into her lover as she could. 

It wasn't long before she cried out as her love juice sprayed forward; covering Janet's hand and Sam lay panting, exhausted on the bed. Her legs dropped from holding her lovers back and her hands hung tiredly at the sides with her eyes closed, her breathing heavy and short. 

Janet moved up Sam's body to lie beside her. She pulled Sam to her holding her tight as she come back from her momentary high. "I've got you now just sleep." 

"Love you" Carter mumbled as she rolled over and buried her face into Janet's chest between her breasts. 

Janet stroked Sam's hair and down her back. "Shh. Just sleep now." 

SGC Complex  
Fraiser Office

Sam had been off world for two days when Abby came and poked her head into her boss's office with a smile, "Ma'am the rest of Alpha shift have reported in and the training for the new staff has started, minus Sergeant Rivers. She called off today ma'am." 

"Did she say the reason she was remaining at home?" Janet asked concern in her voice. 

"I don't think she was home ma'am and no she didn't" Washington informed her with a nod. "Also the neurologist over at the Academy Hospital, the one you sat up the appointment for Sergeant Rivers with called to say she called and cancelled it." 

"Thank you Abby," Janet said as she grabbed her phone and dialed Hammond's office. 

"General Hammond's office" came the voice of his assistant, Lieutenant Henderson. "How can I help you?" 

"This is Doctor Fraiser I need to speak with the General immediately," Janet informed wanting to be connected now. 

Seconds passed and then, "Hammond." 

"Sir this is Doctor Fraiser and I believe we have a slight problem with one of our Sergeants," she spoke. "I haven't informed you completely as to the results of her tests. A small brain tumor was detected and I am trying to take the necessary medical steps, but I have reason to believe that Sergeant Rivers is in denial." 

Now giving her his full attention the man sat back and tossed his pen down, "I'm sorry to hear that Doctor but how is this a problem? Isn't denial a standard step in the receipt of that type of news?" 

"Yes sir it is," Janet went on to say. "But it has gotten to the point that she has not shown up for work when she knows I want to run some tests and she cancelled an appointment with the neurologist at the Academy Hospital. If she keeps this up treatment won't be received and she will die." 

"Have you tried contacting her," he asked curious. "It's possible something came up and why I don't approve of my staff missing reporting in Doctor it does happen on occasion. Perhaps you should send someone to check on her?" 

"That's why I have called. I would like to handle this personally," Janet informed him very serious. "I know her and consider her to be a friend after all her help with Major Carter when she was in the hospital." 

"She's your staff Doctor, at least until she misses forty-eight hours worth of work so handle it as you see fit" he stated slightly unsure why Janet thought he would change procedure for a woman he didn't even know by name. "You'll let me know if there is a problem I hope." 

"Yes sir," Janet said. "I wanted to let you know the situation and I'll keep you informed." 

Infirmary

Janet hung up with the General and grabbed her bag to leave the office. "Abby if Sergeant Rivers call I want you to have her call me and in case she doesn't I want you to notify me. Get as much information as possible, like her location. I'm headed to her house and try there." Janet started heading towards the doors. 

"Uh ma'am" Washington interrupted and raced up, "Perhaps you would like to try calling her cell first? She said you could reach her there and SG-1 is off world, you usually stay on base until they come back Doctor" she stated keeping her voice low. 

"Then lets try that first," Janet walked over to the wall phone and dialed Jennifer's cell number once Abby handed it to her. She listened to it ring waiting for an answer or voice message. 

"Hello" came River's tired voice. 

"Jennifer this is Janet," she said softly. 'I wanted to find out if everything is all right and to ask why you cancelled your appointment? This is something that has to be taken care of, you can't ignore it." 

"Why" she demanded, "I'm not stupid Doctor, I got a copy of the MRI yesterday and why I'm not a doctor I do know enough that the position of the tumor, even the size it is now makes it impossible to get too. So why worry about it," Jennifer demanded. "Listen I'm sorry I wasn't in today but the General should already have my request for transfer, now I really can't talk now and...." 

"Jennifer don't do this," Janet said her voice filled with emotion. "Yes surgery isn't an option but there are other means. Please tell me where you are so we can talk." 

"I..." crying was heard, "I can't do that...I won't make Kira watch me...I...she'll be better off without a...dying mother. I've got to go. Good..." 

"Jennifer don't do this, Kira needs you and if you push her away you're just causing her more harm. Please, I have someone that can sit with Kira," Janet tried. "I'll bring my daughter and she can play with Kira while we talk. Just tell me you didn't leave her somewhere. That she is safe with family." 

"No family Doctor...as you...know through my records" she insisted. "Another hour it won't matter" she insisted and sobbed. "Just tell her...tell her I love her" she stated softly and looked over in the passenger seat to the military issued sidearm there. "Thank you for your help Doctor Fraiser and I'm sorry." 

"Jennifer if Kira isn't with you where is she?" Janet pleaded. "Tell me where you are so we can talk." 

"At school right now, she'll be home after" Jennifer informed her and turned onto the road. "Good bye Doctor" and hung up the phone tossing it behind her after shutting it off so it couldn't be traced. 

"Jennifer," Janet yelled but all she heard was a dial tone. "Abby talk to security and since that call was monitored as is all calls that are made see if they can get me a trace. I am heading to her house to try and find her. I'm afraid she is going to do something stupid. Call me if they get something." 

Corridors

Janet took of at a dead run trying to get topside. She didn't even bother with the check points and she ran to her car and headed out. 

And a guard ran over to stop her, literally jumping in front of the car and handed her a paper, "Security said that was the location on the phone she called from. They said it's not active but they have it now and it's approaching Greenlawn cemetery. General Hammond's office also said to call him when you know something and to take back up. Do you want me to go with you Doctor" he asked. 

Janet nodded. "Hurry up," she said as the guard jumped in and she took of. She wasn't caring right now if she was speeding. She just had one thing on her mind and one thing only. 

Enroute To Cemetery

"Ma'am would you mind telling me what is going on before we get there," he asked. After all he was an NCO and then Janet's cell phone rang. "Want me to get that ma'am?" 

"Please," she said and handed her phone over. 

Flipping the phone the man spoke and quickly filled in General Hammond before hanging it up, "He wants you armed ma'am. Do you have your sidearm in the car" he asked putting her phone down. 

"Check the glove box," Janet instructed. "I sometimes keep one there." She continued on her way. Making a sudden left to take a short cut. "We should be there in about ten minutes." 

Finding the doctors weapon he checked it and sat it down, "Please put that holster on as soon as we're out of the car ma'am. General Hammond was most insistent." 

Greenlawn Cemetery

Meanwhile Jennifer was in tears as she parked her car and grabbed the weapon before getting out and noticed it started to rain. ~How fitting~ she thought and took off across the cemetery. 

Enroute To Cemetery

"Call security and see if they have the location she is currently at. With any luck she might have stopped moving." 

Greenlawn Cemetery

Ten minutes later the two pull up to the cemetery with back up on the way from the base if they needed it. The guard got out first and drew his weapon going toward the car and peered in the windows, "The cell is in the back but no sign of the Sergeant ma'am." 

And there wouldn't be, at least at first. Jennifer was kneeling beside her mother and father's graves, the gun under her chin and her finger on the trigger as she cried. 

"OK we need to split up and search for her. If you find her don't make contact notify me," Janet instructed. "I am the only one that is to have contact with the Sergeant is that clear?" 

"Yes ma'am" he answered turning to face her and tightened his hold on his weapon, "But I don't think that will be necessary" he said pointing to a nearby rise, a back just visible. 

"Good eye," Janet said and began moving towards the figure. "Stay back I don't want to scare her into any sudden action." 

Janet moved far to the left coming up on Jennifer's side instead of from behind. She was pretty sure she was within hearing range. "Jennifer, it's Janet. Let's talk." 

"Go away" came the reply as the woman tightened her grip on the gun. "Leave me alone" she said between sobs. 

The guard immediately took up a position where he had a clear shot at the Sergeant, if she made one move toward Doctor Fraiser he'd have no choice but to take her out. 

Janet waved the guard off shaking her head no. "Jennifer, listen to me. This isn't what you want to do, this isn't going to help Kira," Janet tried. "Please put the gun down and lets talk." She kept inching closer and closer to Jennifer's position. 

"STOP" the woman hollered and turned to sit on the grass but kept her gun right under her chin. The tears streaming down her red, puffy face, "I...I won't make her...watch me die. Even...in a state...facility she will be...better off. Just leave me alone." 

"Jennifer, listen to me. Kira will not be better off if you kill yourself. She will go through the rest of her life thinking you didn't love her," Janet informed. "No matter what anyone says? Watching you die isn't great for her either, but at least she knows that you still love her and that you don't want to leave. Damn it Jen listen to me. I know to people who aren't psychologists that will talk with her. My daughter Cassandra is adopted. She lost both her parents at the same time. Hell she lost everyone she ever loved to the same people we are fighting. Samm she lost her mother when she was young and they both will help Kira through this when the time comes, but if you do this no one will be able to help her. None of us know what it is like to be where she is." 

For a long minute she seemed to listen to her words and the gun wavered but then she shook her head, "I...I can't...I'm sorry" she said sobbing and pulled the hammer back on the hand weapon. 

Janet was now standing just out of arms reach of Jennifer and lowered her own gun holstering it. "Jennifer, please give me the gun. Don't make Kira go through the rest of her life thinking her mother didn't love her, that you didn't want to be with her," Janet pleaded. "Don't stick her on that path, it's not the one to be on." She reached forward very slowly going for the gun wanting to get it before Jennifer pulled the trigger. It felt like hours but finally Janet's fingers wrapped around the barrel and back of the gun pulling it away from Jennifer. 

Rivers struggled with the weapon, "NO...LET ME ALONE...I WANT TO..." and they fought for the gun. 

The guard holstered his weapon and ran up, "Doctor" he hollered. 

"Stay back," Janet, yelled not wanting the situation to get worse. "Jennifer I know you are scared, but this isn't the way. Trust me," Janet pleaded and continued to pull on the gun. "Let me help you." 

Rivers sobbed and slowly let her hand slide off the weapon and she buried her face in her hands mumbling incoherently. 

The guard had stopped but now kept a hand on his weapon, "Doctor" he pleaded. 

"Just stay back," Janet said. "It's under control." Janet released the hammer and threw the gun in the direction of the guard. "Take care of that." She took a step forward and dropped to her knees and pulled Jennifer to her, holding her close. "Shh. We'll deal with this together. You're not alone. I won't let you do this alone," Janet reinsured rubbing the other woman's arm. 

"You...should...have...let...me...die" she sobbed clinging to Janet. In her mind she was dead anyway. 

"I can't watch someone I care about kill themselves," Janet said. "It's not going to happen. I am going to do everything I can to beat this." 

"NO" Jennifer screamed and pulled away standing up. She went over and bent down kissing the tombstones of her parents. "I'll...I'll find another way" she said intent on leaving. 

The guard came up then, "Doctor" he said to Fraiser, "Ma'am should I take her into custody?" he asked, she was the senior officer on scene and she had just tried to kill herself, surely some type of mental counseling or treatment was warranted he thought. 

"Jennifer stop," Janet, yelled. "That's an order Sergeant." She walked up to her again. "How will you find another way?" She questioned. "This isn't a weakness or flaw in your character. People just get sick, so let me help." 

The woman stiffened to attention and just stared past Janet, "No ma'am, thank you ma'am but no ma'am." 

"Why," Janet yelled. "Why won't you let someone help? If it's me you don't trust then let someone else help. But don't do it alone," she pleaded. 

"I'm not doing it at all ma'am" Jennifer informed her and then moved to step around Janet and go to her car, there were a million and one ways to kill one self and all before Kira got home from school. 

The guard came up to Janet, "Major, and its General Hammond on the phone. He wants to know what's going on," he said holding Janet's cell out to her. 

"A minute sir," Janet said holding the phone. "Guard, please place Sergeant Rivers into custody. I'm sorry Jennifer but you left me know choice. Sir I believe you heard that. Sergeant Rivers is being held in custody until this can be settled. We are heading back to the base momentarily." 

The guard walked up to Rivers and placed cuffs on her hands. 

"Exactly what happened Doctor" Hammond stated. 

"Who is going to drive my car back?" Jennifer asked coldly, almost like she didn't care. 

"Place her in the front seat of my car," Janet instructed. "Use a second set of cuffs to secure her hands to the handle at the top. General we arrived at the cemetery to find Sergeant Rivers kneeling with her service pistol," Janet informed. "I can brief you more fully when we return." Turning to the guard. "Drive the Sergeant's vehicle back please." 

"Yes ma'am" he answered and moved her toward the car. 

Hammond was shocked a bit but nodded, "Very well Doctor. Report to me as soon as you arrive and the Sergeant is secured. I'll have Doctor Mackenzie's team waiting for her and will send someone out to stay with the Sergeant's daughter until she can be released or have visitors." 

"Sir I suggest having someone take Kira to my house and keep her with Cassie," Janet said. "I also would wait for the Doctor to see her till after our meeting." Janet knew that officers at the SGC didn't like Mackenzie and wanted to give Jennifer the opportunity to talk with her instead. 

"Very well Doctor. I'll see you when you get here" he said and shut off the phone. 

The guard waited until Janet had joined him and nodded, "She's secured ma'am. Are you sure you don't want me to take her with me Doctor?" 

"I think she would be more comfortable with someone she knows," Janet said. "She is scared enough, I don't want to add to it." 

"All right ma'am, if you're sure" he answered with a final nod. "I have both her sidearm and yours in her car with me, just to avoid any incidence. I'll return yours to you after we get to the base Doctor Fraiser." 

Jennifer had her head resting on her raised arms and was staring almost blankly out the window. She just had to wait for the right time, the right chance to finish herself off. The only thing that had stopped her here was Doctor Fraiser; she didn't want to see her hurt. 

"Understood," Janet said climbing into her vehicle. She put her seat belt one and started her vehicle heading back to base. "Jennifer, tell me something?" Janet asked. "Why?" 

Enroute To The SGC

No answer came; she almost seemed to be in a cationic state not responding to Fraiser almost like she didn't hear her. 

"Why are you so willing to give up and leave Kira?" Janet asked again. "She is a beautiful little girl. Why would you want to leave her?" 

"Just...leave me alone" came the soft reply. 

"I'm not going to do that," Janet said softly. "You know me Jennifer and you know I won't stand by and watch a friend fight when I can help." Janet risked a glance to the side. "Now talk to me. Why?" 

"None of your business" she snapped coldly and turned her head slightly to stare out the side window shifting her arms slightly. 

"I'm your friend. I care about you, that makes it my business," Janet stated letting the tears fall, wanting Jennifer to see them. 

The woman didn't look back or acknowledge Janet in any way. 

Janet continued to cry using one of her hands to brush away the tears. She reached over and turned the radio on. It was on the last station Sam had left it on. They were only a few minutes away from base now and the ride continued to be silent. 

SGC Complex

Once they got to the base the guards, under the direction of the man who had brought Rivers car back, yanked the woman out and he handed Janet her sidearm, "Where do you want her ma'am?" 

"Take her down to the infirmary and place her in one of the observation rooms," Janet instructed. "Make sure there are two guards present at all times. I have to report to the General." Janet headed to Hammonds office and stopped outside the door. She knocked lightly. 

Hammond's Office

"Enter" came the voice of General George Hammond. Upon seeing Fraiser he closed the laptop case, "Doctor have a seat. Where is Sergeant Rivers?" 

"I have the Sergeant in one of the observation rooms with two guards posted," Janet said as she took a seat. 

"Wouldn't a holding cell be more prudent Doctor?" he demanded looking at her. "I know Sergeant Rivers is a friend and one of your patients but from what the SF stated she attempted suicide, that sounds like Mackenzie's territory to me." 

"She's not a criminal General," Janet informed. "Just severely depressed. And yes I would have to agree, but you know as well as I do that Mackenzie's bedside manor is lacking and I think he will drive her further into depression." Janet sighed. "Honestly I think seeing a friendly face and maybe her daughter might be the way to go." 

"And how do you propose to do that Doctor Fraiser" Hammond asked curiously. "This is a high security facility, I can't just let anyone's family on the base for any number of reasons. Are you intending on keeping her here or the Academy Hospital because let me tell you that's where I think she belongs for a stunt like this" the Texas accent stated. 

"I understand Sir," Janet continued. "Since family isn't allowed here I think transfer to the Academy Hospital would be advisable. Jennifer has been trying to shield Kira from this. Seeing it as a weakness on her part instead of the disease it is. Maybe with her daughter knowing the truth and friends by her side she will pull through." 

He nodded slowly, "All right, I will approve the transfer and stall off Mackenzie somehow but I hope you know what you're doing. You're intending to tell her daughter," he asked, "I thought you had a doctor/patient oath to prevent that type of thing?" 

"I do have a doctor patient oath to prevent it," Janet said then smiled. "But I never said I was going to tell her. I was just going to take her to be with her mother and show her the current situation." 

Hammond nodded slowly, "All right Doctor but keep in mind long term patient care isn't your job. I need you here, your duties and your patients need you here not at the Academy Hospital. We have five teams off world, including SG-1 and I want you available." 

"Yes Sir," Janet said. "When is SG-1 due back sir?" 

"Tomorrow but you know that doesn't mean much," he offered. "If there is nothing else then dismissed Doctor and good luck." 

"I'll keep Sergeant Rivers here till SG-1 returns and then the transfer will be taken care of," Janet instructed. "I need to run some test and we have the better equipment." She stood beginning to leave. 

Medical Observation Room

Back in the Infirmary Jennifer Rivers was acting very contrary to her behavior. She'd cussed every member of the medical staff they passed and then started on the guards when they wouldn't remove the handcuffs. "GET AWAY FROM ME" she hollered to whoever was closest. 

Janet returned to the infirmary to find the Jennifer had been a handful to say the least. "Abby I want a sedative prepared please," Janet requested and headed into the observation room. 

Rivers was seated on the table staring at the wall as Abby and Fraiser came in but made no move to speak to them or move, just staring at the wall. 

"Jennifer you want to talk to me now?" Janet asked moving closer to the bed. 

"Not unless you intend to let me go home Major" she answered. 

"You know I can't do that Jennifer," Janet said sadly. "Not when you're suicidal." 

The woman just shrugged, "What do you want then Major?" 

"I want you to talk to me and tell me why you are doing this?" Janet softly said standing next to Jennifer. "I'm your friend." 

"Well you aren't mine so leave me alone Major," the woman snapped. 

"When did that happen Jennifer?" Janet said not letting the hurt show. "When did that change because I know you considered me a friend?" 

"Leave me alone Major" was her answer to every single question. 

"I'm not going to do that," Janet kept pushing. "When did you stop considering me a friend and why?" 

At that point Jennifer Rivers didn't say anything, didn't look at anything but the wall. Abby touched her boss's arm, "Ma'am the sedative you wanted" she said offering her a syringe. 

Janet took the syringe. "Damn it Jennifer, talk to me," she said. "I'm not going to let this go. You may have given up but I haven't." 

Again nothing and Jennifer just closer eyes, her shoulders slumped and she simply didn't acknowledge anyone. 

Janet reached for Jennifer's arm and rubbed it pulling the other woman into a hug. "I won't give up I promise." 

She maid no move to do anything, keeping her eyes closed and didn't move her arms or her body any closer to Fraiser. 

Janet didn't feel Jennifer pull away so she drew her in closer with the hug. "You are not alone," she whispered in her ear. "You are very brave." 

That very sentence sent her off and she brought her hands up in one motion and shoved Janet away screaming but not before kicking her in the stomach. Abby pulled Janet away and stepped in front of her as the guards drew their weapons and aimed them at her, "GO AHEAD...SHOOT ME...IT'S WHAT I WANT ANYWAY...COME ON, SHOOT ME" she screamed. 

Janet sat on the floor where Abby pulled her. "Lower your weapons. Just subdue her without harm," Janet instructed. The guards moved to Jennifer standing on either side of her. Janet now stood and pulled the syringe out of her pocket. She pushed the plunger a bit and tapped the side. 

"LEAVE ME ALONE" she screamed angrily at the top of her voice, "I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP...LEAVE ME ALONE" she kept screaming and fought the guards. 

The guards were able to hold her enough where Janet could give her the sedative. She stuck the needle into her arm and pushed the plunger releasing its contents. 

Jennifer continued to fight and would until the sedative started to work. But in the process of administering it one of Jennifer's arms got free and she decked Janet causing her to fall back. 

"DOCTOR" Abby cried rushing forward and immediately dropped down picking up the syringe and recapping it quickly. "Ma'am are you all right," she demanded. "Let me get you some ice for that eye." 

Jennifer had stopped the minute she felt the fist connect with Janet and was now crying, lying on the gurney and pulling her legs up like a child mumbling. 

"I'm fine," Janet said and stood moving once again towards Jennifer. 'It's OK." She placed a tentative hand on the woman's arm to see how she reacted. 

Jennifer continued to mumble but didn't pull away. Slowly she drifted off to sleep, the mumbles less but still there, "Doctor" Abby tried again, "Let me tend to your eye ma'am." 

"After I tend to my patient," Janet insisted and positioned Jennifer so she was lying down. She brushed back stray bangs whispering near her ear, "It's OK. I'm still your friend and I'm still here for you." She then turned to leave ready to let her nurse tend to her eye. 

Hours later Jennifer Rivers slowly started to regain consciousness. She was in an Infirmary uniform and restrained to the gurney that she found out about when she tried to move her arms and legs and kicked out when she saw the door open and her boss come in, "What's going on?" 

"Jennifer. How are you feeling?" Janet asked as she stood next to the gurney taking in Jennifer's bio signs. 

"Fine, a lot better once you let me up ma'am" she answered pulling on the restraints. "What happened? How did I get here?" 

"What's the last thing you remember?" Janet asked writing Jennifer's vitals down. 

"Would you un-restrain me first?" Jennifer asked. "What happened to your eye ma'am?" 

"An accident that's all," Janet said not wanting to tell Jennifer. "And I can't un-restrain you until I know you will remain calm. Now what is the last thing you remember?" 

Licking her lips a moment the woman thought, she knew what had happened but she had to pretend she didn't otherwise he boss would never let her go, "I remember getting up and feeling a little tired so I called in and asked to come in late? Then I made breakfast and got Kira off for school. After that I lay down and then woke up here ma'am. Why?" 

"Let's just say that's not all that you have done," Janet said. "I'll release the restraints but you will have to remain here. I can't let you go home yet." Janet moved first undoing the feet straps then moving and releasing each hand. 

"Thank you" she answered and sat up slowly rubbing her wrists. "What time is it ma'am? If I'm going to be late I need to call and be sure my neighbor knows so she'll keep an eye on Kira for me. Can I use a phone?" 

"There is no need to worry about Kira for the moment. I had an SF pick her up at school and take her to my house." Janet said keeping a close eye on Jennifer. 

Jennifer accepted that with a nod though she knew it already and glanced around, "Could I get a glass of water ma'am? Also what's wrong with me, beyond the tumor of course that I deserve an isolation room." 

"Considering you refuse to receive treatment. You have severe depression," Janet said and called for a nurse to bring a cup of water. 

"WHAT" Rivers asked and crinkled her brow as a nurse brought a cup in and handed it to her. "Thank you Abby" she commented with a nod and watched Fraiser. "Doctor what are you talking about? Refuse what treatment? I thought I was meeting with that doctor you recommended through the Academy Hospital in a day or so ma'am, I had a note about it at the house" she began and sipped the water. "Are you sure you're thinking of the right patient Doctor Fraiser?" 

"I know what I'm thinking and I know what I'm saying, but I got a phone call from the neurologist notifying me that you had cancelled your appointment." Janet took a step back almost ready to leave before adding. "Try and get some rest. There are a few more tests that need to be run." 

"Doctor" Jennifer called quickly and sat the cup down moving toward her, "Ma'am can I use the phone? Talk to Kira and let her know I'm ok, please? She worries ever since her dad was killed if I'm overdue too long ma'am" she said biding her time at the moment. 

"All right," Janet said and walked over to the wall phone and asked for an outside line. She dialed her home and waited for an answer. "Cassie can you get Kira and put her on the phone," Janet asked. "Her mom wants to talk with her." 

"Sure mom, hang on a second" her daughter said. 

Soon Kira's voice answered though weakly, "Hello" she said. 

"Hi baby its mom," Jennifer said. "Are you OK?" 

"I'm fine mom, over at Doctor Fraiser's with her daughter" Kira answered her mother. "When are you coming so we can go home?" 

"Soon sweetie but I'm still at work" she lied. "Doctor Fraiser needed my help with something, but you call her if I don't check in regularly and you be good for the doctor's daughter all right? Love you Kira." 

"I love you too mommy," Kira said. "Hurry home." 

"Promise sweetie" the woman answered in her mom's voice. "Now you behave and I'll see you soon. Bye honey" Jennifer concluded and handed the phone back to Fraiser. "Thank you ma'am but how long do you figure I'll be here? I'd like to see my daughter as soon as possible." 

"Well if you're lucky and are very good you might get to see her tomorrow," Janet said after all that was the truth. She hung up the phone before turning to Jennifer. "If you have trouble sleeping or need anything else have the nurses get me or Doctor Warner." 

"I'd like an answer to my previous question ma'am" Jennifer said faking the concerned patient. "What happened to get me brought here? The last I knew I was home sleeping after leaving a message for you saying I wouldn't be in until later ma'am." 

"And like I said before you are severely depressed and your actions have proven that," Janet answered. "You are lucky that I was able to keep General Hammond from ordering your care into Doctor Mackenzie's hands." 

"Ma'am I'm not depressed but there had to be some reason I was brought into the base and even if your diagnosis was true" Jennifer said and went back to sit down, she had to appear calm. "That doesn't tell me why you wouldn't want me in the care of a psychiatrist, depression is their specialty not medical ma'am." 

"I have my reasons," Janet said. "Now if you'll excuse me I have some work to finish." Janet turned to leave once again. 

"Could I get some dinner at least ma'am" Jennifer called. "And I'd like to speak with Doctor Mackenzie if I could ma'am." 

"I will have a nurse bring in your dinner and I will speak with Mackenzie myself and have him stop by," Janet said opening the door. 

"Thank you ma'am" Jennifer answered. 

Corridor

Outside Abby met her boss curiously and spoke as they walked back toward the Infirmary, "Ma'am what's going on with her? She seemed so..." she shrugged lightly, "Different I guess." 

"I'm not sure Abby but if I had to make an educated guess I would say she is trying to fool us," Janet said as they continued to walk. 

"So what do we do?" the Captain asked rushing up. "Do you have a plan ma'am?" 

"We will keep her for observation. Maybe Mackenzie will be able to help her," Janet said and shrugged her shoulders. "Do you think you could bring her some food and make sure that the two guards are always posted." Janet continued on to Mackenzie's office. 

"Yes ma'am, I'll handle it" Abby stated and turned jogging back up the corridor. 

Mackenzie's Office

David Mackenzie was going over files in his office when he saw her and settled back, "Well, well if it isn't Super Doctor who twisted the General's arm to keep a patient out of my care. What can I do for you now Doctor?" 

"I know how you treat patients and frankly I don't like you but Sergeant Rivers requests to speak with you," Janet said. "I don't want you putting any suggestions into her head or making her depression worse. Let this be a warning Doctor." Janet stared coldly at the man. 

"Incase you are unaware Doctor" the man said and picked up several files and stood up, "I am the senior officer in this room, these eagles on my shoulders outrank those gold oak leaves on yours so don't threaten me Doctor Fraiser." 

"And no matter how much you want to pull rank on me I am still the CMO of this base," Janet argued. "I have the final say with patients and I'm pretty sure I can find a few that are willing to admit that your methods go against everything in the medical field." 

"I'll go see MY patient now Doctor. Excuse me" he stated and moved around the desk to leave. 

"What ever you may think she is still my patient and I will not sign over on her. Just know that she has already tried to commit suicide once and doesn't seem to have a care in regards to her daughter." 

David stopped and turned around, "Doctor I understand you have a strong opinion where your patients are concerned but she made the request to see me is what you said. If she wishes to go with me instead of you there isn't a damn thing you or the General can do about it. Now excuse me" he concluded and moved to leave again. 

Janet pinched the bridge of her nose. "I was hoping we could work together on this but I can see you don't share that interest." Janet brushed passed him heading back to her infirmary. 

Fraiser Residence

That night when Fraiser went home Cassandra was up late doing homework and saw her mom come in. Standing up she came over to hug her, it was almost midnight, "Hey mom" she said kissing her cheek. 

"Hey honey. Thank you for watching Kira. Was she any trouble?" Janet asked as she gave Cassie a kiss. 

"Not really no but she's worried about her mom" the teen offered. "She didn't touch her dinner and has been sitting out on the back porch for the past three hours, refuses to come in and threw the blanket I took her back in the house and went back. Hasn't said a word during that time either." 

"OK," Janet said. She left Cassie and headed out to the back porch where Kira was sitting. She knelt next to the young girl. "Kira do you remember me?" Janet asked softly. 

The girl just stared up at the stars, so much hope there and yet here she was stuck at a strangers house while her mom was at work. 

"Honey," Janet said placing her hand on the girls back. "I know you miss your mommy and that your worried for her but right now I need you to understand something." Janet took a breath and released it internally debating whether to tell Kira her mommy was sick or that she was doing a special secret mission for her. 

The girl recoiled from Fraiser and stood up moving to another chair staring up at the stars. Being twelve she had quite a bit of stubbornness. 

Janet moved to kneel next to the young girl but did not touch her. "Kira I need you to understand that the reason your mommy isn't with you right now is that I need her to take care of a special project for me. One I don't understand but she does." She paused a moment. "I wish our places were reversed but I can't do that. I don't understand the project she is solving. Do you understand?" 

The girl turned her head and focused on Fraiser for a split second and mumbled, "I want to go home" and then resumed watching the stars, shivering slightly in the chair as she crossed her arms and rubbed them to get them warm. 

Janet picked up the blanket that Kira had thrown earlier and held it out to her. "Your mommy asked me to take care of you since she is taking care of something for me. I would like you to treat me like an aunt or a friend. But I can't let you go home alone. I would be breaking my promise to your mommy then and she will be sad." Janet paused taking a breath. "Do you want me to make your mommy sad?" 

Kira looked over at her and took a deep breath but then stood up and walked over to lie down in the grass, it was wet and cold but she wasn't about to reach out to this woman or her daughter. She just wanted to go home, with her mother. 

"Kira I want you to understand that I'm not trying to replace your mommy and as soon as she if finished you can be with her again. I just want to be here for you right now." Janet stood next to Kira and held out the blanket. 

Ignoring her the girl rolled over on her side and brought a hand up from the grass to lie on staring off to the side. 

Janet nodded more to herself than Kira. "If you need anything please just ask. I am your friend," Janet wished that at this moment Sam was home, maybe she would have better luck with the young girl. Janet walked over to the chair wrapping the blanket around herself and watched Kira. Hoping that maybe the girl would get cold and want to join her. 

But she didn't, it was three am and Kira still hadn't moved. A sleepy Cassandra came out and shivered leaning down by her mom, "Mom what are you two doing" she whispered, "It's three am." 

"I'm not really sure but I don't want to leave her alone," Janet said yawning. "I guess I'll carry her inside." Janet stood up and picked up the sleepy form of Kira and carried her inside. The girl had not woken while Janet carried her. Janet placed the girl on the guest bed, removing her shoes and tucking her in. 

And immediately Kira was awake and sitting, "What...What are you doing" she demanded yanking her legs away from Janet and started to get out of bed to get dressed and go back outside. 

"Kira you need to get some sleep and its cold outside," Janet said. "Please stay here or you can sleep with either Cassie or myself." 

"N...No" she insisted and went over to get her shoes and socks. "I want to go home" she insisted and went toward the door to go back outside and passed Cassandra in the hall. 

"Mom" Cassie asked and yawned as she watched the girl walking, "What's going on? I thought she was asleep?" 

"So did I honey," Janet said. "You can't go home Kira and I'm not going to break my promise to your mother." Janet caught up with her and knelt pulling the girl into a hug holding her tight. "Your mother didn't leave you. She will be back I promise." 

With all her might Kira tried to push away from Janet, she didn't want her help or her piecrust promises, "Leave me alone" she pleaded, terrified. 

"I'm not going to do that," Janet insisted and continued to hug Kira. "I know your mom is all that you have left and that you love her very, very much. I also know that she loves you just as much and wants you to be safe while she is away." She paused. "She will be back and tomorrow I'll see if I can take you to see her. OK?" 

"Let me go" Kira insisted fighting her, "Please...just...let me go" she pleaded over and over again. 

"Let me help," Janet said softly. 

"NO" she finally screamed and got her hands between them enough to use her shoes to push her away enough and ran down the hall and back into the backyard. 

Cassandra came running up, "Mom" she asked and helped her stand up, "Are you all right?" 

"I'm fine," Janet said rubbing her eyes and winced forgetting about the bruise. "Its not the worst thing to happen today." She took a deep breath before beginning to move after Kira. "I wish Sam was here. She would probably be able to connect with Kira like she did with you." 

"Mom" Cassandra called and rushed after her mother stopping her at the top of the stairs. "Leave her alone, give her some time. I know" she said softly, "You want to help her like you did me but she has to want that help. Right now she hurts and she wants to feel it hurt, just let her alone." 

"I'm a Doctor, I'm supposed to make the pain go away yet I can't help Kira or her mother," Janet said walking into her room and dropping heavily onto her bed. 

Following her mother the girl sat on the bed and leaned over resting her head on her shoulder, "Mom you will. Kira will come to you but eventually. Right now she just knows her mom's not here, she's had to have a lot change in a short time and from what little she said it's been just her and her mom since her dad was killed in a robbery. Give her some time" she said and reached over sliding her hand into her mother's. "I'll go down and sleep on the sofa and that way incase anything happens I'm right there all right?" 

"Thank you honey," Janet said kissing Cassie on the forehead. As she watched her daughter leave she softly spoke to no one in particular. "I hope I can help them." 

She stood and changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt after washing her face and brushing her teeth. She crawled into bed and tried to get some sleep. It had been a very, very long day. 

The next morning Cassandra was up for school by six and was sitting at the table eating cereal when her mom came down in uniform and she smiled, "Coffee is ready and before you ask she never came in, slept on the ground and refused a blanket. She's also made no move to get up to even use the bathroom all night mom. I'm..." she shrugged. "I'm worried." 

"So am I honey," Janet said and took a sip from the coffee she poured. She headed outside to talk with Kira. "Would you like some breakfast?" Janet asked seeing that she was awake. 

The girl just huddled within herself and stared toward a tree a few feet in front of her and ignored Fraiser. 

"Do you want to go to school today then?" Janet asked changing the question. 

Again no answer and just the stare. 

Janet shook her head and headed back inside. "I'll have an SF sent to the house and watch Kira till I get home," Janet said finishing her coffee and pouring herself another cup. 

Cassandra nodded and stood up but then stopped and stared. 

Kira walked in, cold and wet and went to pick up her book bag heading toward the front door silently. 

"Kira you need to change before you head to school. Your mom gave me some clothes for you," Janet said pointing to the bag by the coach. 

The girl ignored her and opened the door intent on leaving. 

"Uh I'll be in the kitchen mom" Cassandra said and shook her head leaving the two of them alone. 

"Kira stop right there," Janet said firmly using her motherly voice. "I may not be your mother, but I am the one protecting and watching you right now." 

The twelve year old girl stopped and turned glaring, "What do you want ma'am?" 

"If you plan on going to school young lady you need to change your clothes," Janet informed. "Otherwise there will be an SF here to watch you." 

"Fine" she snapped and left the door open going to drop her bag and get clothes. She had no problems changing right in the living room for everyone to see which she started to do. 

"Mom where is the..." Cassandra came out and her eyes got big, "WOAH...Ok, never mind. I'll...I'll find it" she said and turned to go back. 

Janet moved and closed the front door then thought better of it. "If that how you want to be fine," Janet said not impressed with the girls attitude. "I am just here to help. I'm not the bad guy." She waited until Kira was finished. 

"You're wrong" the girl snapped and finished changing before picking up her clothes and then her book bag moving toward the door. "You're the one keeping me away from my mom...you're the one making her miserable" she said close to tears. "Just leave me alone and move ma'am." 

Janet stood firmly between Kira and the door. "I am not letting you leave until you explain that, because I am not making your mother miserable." 

"Then I'll go out the back" Kira stated and turned going out the backdoor into the yard and intent on leaving though the fence or over it if she had to hop it. 

Janet just waited on the other side of the fence for Kira. When she finally hopped the fence Janet once again was between her and the way out. Kira had the house on one side and the gate to the other and behind her. "I am not making your mother miserable now explain why you think that," Janet demanded. 

The girl sighed and shifted her clothes under her arm and her backpack on her shoulder, "I don't have to tell you anything Doctor, I'm not one of your flunkies. Now either move or you're going to make me late for school too." 

"Excuse you but you have no right to talk that way. We are just trying to help you and if you're late for school then I will explain it to the principle. Its not a problem," Janet said not relenting an inch. "Now answer my question." 

"And you have no right to kidnap me but that hasn't stopped you Doctor but fine" she said and hopped back over the fence and tossed her stuff down resuming her spot lying in the wet grass closing her eyes. 

Janet stormed back into the house to get to the backyard. "Fine you want to go to school then get in the car. I am driving you there," Janet said pointing to the front of the house. 

"No" she answered calmly and rolled over away from Fraiser. 

"That's your only option Kira. Either I drive you or you are staying here with an SF to baby-sit you," Janet stated. 

"Fine" she stated and rolled over getting her book bag and moving toward the door, mumbling all the way. She could always cut class. 

Cassandra was waiting and stopped her mom, "I'm going to walk today mom. I'll call you from Jennifer's after school, I've got a study date over there and you said I could go last week ok?" 

"That's fine Cassie," Janet said. "I think I will have my hands full anyway." Janet grabbed her purse and briefcase heading for the front door. "Make sure you lock up before you leave." 

"Sure thing mom, love you and tell Aunt Sam I'll call her tonight" Cassie said. 

In the car Kira was waiting and had her head back, the headache fighting her at the moment but she sure wasn't about to tell this woman anything about it. 

Janet got in the car and put her seat belt on starting the engine she backed out the driveway onto the street. "Are you going to tell me why you think I am making your mom miserable?" Janet asked. "I offered her a job, something new to do and she took it. She didn't have to but she did and that's hardly my fault." 

Enroute To Kira's School

"I'm not telling you anything" she insisted and didn't move. "You're not my mother, my doctor, my friend or even a relative so leave me alone Doctor." 

"Fine," Janet relented and continued the drive letting the silence fill the air between them. They arrived at Kira's school and Janet parked her car getting out. 

"What are you doing" she asked getting out. "I'm not two years old Doctor Fraiser and it's been a long time since I had anyone walk me inside. Are you trying to embarrass me on purpose?" 

"Actually while you are headed to class I am headed to speak with the administration of your school," she informed continuing up the steps. 

"Why" she demanded following her. "What are you doing?" 

"I am going to have a civilized conversation with them," she said and continued walking down the hall her heals echoing with each step. 

Kira stopped in disbelief, "You frigging bitch" she snapped and shook her head, "Mom was right about you, you're just a frigging bitch" and she turned to leave up a corridor. 

"Think what you want Kira but this is for your own good," Janet yelled at the girls retreating back. Janet had already called the base and had them send a couple of SF over to make sure she didn't try to cut school. 

Janet entered the administration office. "Yes I am Doctor Janet Fraiser and need to speak with the Principle and the Counselor for the school," she requested. 

Soon the woman was inside with a balding man named Mathews who was the school Counselor and a woman named Miss Withers, "Doctor Fraiser I understand this is in regards to Kira Rivers. Is there a problem" Miss Withers asked and motioned to a seat. "Kira has always been an excellent student, polite and cooperative." 

"I can't disclose all the details due to the patient doctor confidentiality clause but I can say this while her mother is away Kira's personality and behavior may change a little. I would like an eye to be kept on her," Janet began pausing to gather her thoughts. "Last night has been the first that her mother has been away and Kira has completely withdrawn inside herself. Even this morning on my way her she called me a friggin bitch and continued to say her mother was right to think that of me. While I have only met her previously one time she was shy and quiet then. If she continues on this path, she will due herself a great deal of harm." 

SGC Complex  
Fraiser's Office

After a short discussion they both agreed and had a senior student keeping an eye on her for today. However once Janet got to the base it went from bad to worse as Mackenzie was waiting in her office and he tossed a paper on her desk, "Your copy Doctor. General Hammond has already received his," he offered. 

"What is this about?" Janet asked her migraine already wearing on her. 

"Sergeant Rivers formal request for a change of care, she doesn't want you near her Doctor" he stated smugly. "She's also put in for a transfer back to the Academy Hospital and the paperwork for an early dismissal from the military because of her medical condition. Have a nice day," he stated rising. 

"Damn you Mackenzie, do you have any idea what you are doing by pushing her into making that decision?" Janet asked rising out of her seat. 

He stopped by the door and faced her, "Doctor as much as I'd love to take credit for this one I can't. You can check the security cameras; it's why she asked to see me. I met with her for over three hours before she asked that I certify her sane enough to do paperwork and when I did it's what she did. Sorry." 

"You were fooled. She played you," Janet said. "Do you know the reason she was in the observation room in the first place?" 

"I'll make you a deal" Mackenzie stated and walked back over. "You have forty eight hours, I'll put a hold on moving her to the Academy Hospital for forty-eight hours Doctor Fraiser which means she stays on base and since you are the CMO you have all the access to her you need, but you'll need to provide me proof that she isn't capable of choosing medical/psychiatrist care or get her to rescind your request. Agreed?" 

"Before we go making deals can you please answer my question," Janet said. "Do you know why I brought her here in the first place?" 

Sighing the man shook his head, "I read your report Doctor Fraiser, she was suicidal but keep in mind she has also undergone a lot of stress in less than forty-eight hours as well including a transfer and finding out she had a brain tumor." 

"While I understand that she has been under a great deal of stress my concern lies in the fact that she went from being suicidal to violent to calm like nothing happened," Janet said. "I know that is not normal for a person to change that drastically in only twenty-four hours plus the fact that she is the one that gave me the nice shiner I am currently sporting." 

"I agree entirely," he said taking a seat calmly. "And that is why she has agreed to in patient counseling at the Academy Hospital under my care, this does bring up the concern for her daughter of course but surely you aren't suggesting that she be put in the brig are you Doctor?" 

"No on the contrary I want to work on this together neither one of us keeping the other in the dark," Janet admitted. '"I think it would be for the best of our patient. Her daughter though will be an issue. She has pulled into herself and refused help, blaming me for her mother's distress and unhappiness." 

"On the daughter" Mackenzie began, "She can be placed in foster care until her mother is better, but for us working together Sergeant Rivers has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you Doctor Fraiser. How do you propose we get around that?" 

"First off I was hoping that sessions could be held in a room with a hidden observation room. Secondly with time I was hoping you could convince her that I could be of some help," Janet admitted. "I think that moving her to the Academy Hospital is for the best and that her daughter be brought in. While Kira is being kept in the dark about her mother's illness, Sergeant Rivers is trying to ignore the fact that it exists." 

The man seemed to think about that a moment and settled back, "Do you have any idea why Sergeant Rivers would be so opposed to keep you away from her Doctor? From what your staff told me the two of you became friends, that was how she got this assignment." 

"That is correct. When Major Carter was at the Hospital Rivers was one of the nurses on staff and I offered her a position on my staff," Janet informed. "The only reason I can think of to keep me from being involved is one I want to help her and two she blames me because I found the tumor and informed her." Janet shrugged not liking this situation. Why couldn't anything ever be easy at the SGC? 

Sighing the man made some notes on the pad he was holding and nodded, "All right Doctor, as a favor to you and this department I'll keep you involved for now. I'll deny her request to remove you from her direct care but keep in mind I'm sure she isn't going to make you welcome" he advised slowly. "Now what about the daughter? Should I make arrangements through the local authorities for foster care?" 

"That I'm not sure about," Janet said on a sigh. "As much as I hate the system and how it doesn't work I think Kira is too much to handle. I thought I would have been able to help her but since yesterday that proved to be futile." She paused. "I had originally thought that by having Cassandra and Sam when she is on world around to help since both have lost their mother that it would help but until she knows about the situation it does not good. I am open for suggestions." 

"Well perhaps you..." he began and the phone rang. 

"Fraiser" she answered grabbing it. 

"Doctor Fraiser, this is Principle Withers at Kira's school" she began. "It took a lot to track you down but we have a major problem. Kira got into a fight and got beat up pretty badly. She's in the nurse's office right now but..." 

"I thank you for informing me but there is nothing I can do," Janet said. "I am neither her mother or her guardian and hold no authority over her." 

"Perhaps not" the woman stated, "But you are who she is asking for but if like I can try to contact her mother again or the local..." 

"No you won't be able to reach her mother," Janet stated. "Has she explained why she is asking for me?" Janet was now more than a little puzzled at the behavior of the young girl. First she pushed her away and wanting nothing to do with the help she offered and now she was requesting her. 

"She said she was staying with you and you'd come I believe" Withers offered. "The nurse says she isn't hurt severely but she does have some cuts, lots of bruises and the other girl managed to get in some shots to her chest and sides." 

"All right keep Kira in the nurses office and I will be on my way momentarily. Don't let her know I am coming though," Janet said and hung up the phone. "I'm sorry for the interruption but it seems I am needed elsewhere," Janet apologized. "If you would like to walk with me to the surface or perhaps accompany me to Kira's school we could continue this conversation." 

"I think we've finished, at least for now" Mackenzie stated and stood up with her. "I'll stay here, keep an eye on things Doctor Fraiser. If the General asks where should I say you are?" 

"Tell him the truth I suppose that I was called to Kira's school to help take care of matters," Janet said. "We are doing the right thing aren't we?" She questioned heading to the door. "I will have my cell, here is the number if you need to reach me for any reason," Janet said handing him a slip of paper. 

Taking the number David Mackenzie studied her for a moment, it proved how much she cared about the girl and Sergeant Rivers because the base already had all her contact information, "I think for you Doctor that you are doing the right thing. Now go on, SG-1 is due back and I really don't want to deal with the Colonel today; I've already got a headache" he offered quickly. 

"I bet you five bucks that mine is bigger," Janet joked as she left her office with Mackenzie right behind her. "I just hope you're correct about me doing the right thing." 

Kira's School

At the school it was Counselor Matthews that met her and he motioned her inside, "Before I take you to Kira I think we should talk Doctor Fraiser" he said and motioned to a chair. "How sick is Kira's mother? She told me that the woman was dying, that you and those at her base had diagnosed an inoperable tumor and that you were just trying to keep them apart so that it would be easier on her when she died. Is any of that true" he asked concerned. 

"I would like to know how she knows about this. Sergeant Rivers told me that she didn't inform Kira," Janet said shaking her head. "To set things straight her mother is sick and if not treated could get very sick and die. I did diagnose her with a brain tumor and yes it is inoperable but there are many forms of treatments that could be done. If she would just co-operate and not have a death wish. The reason they are separated is because yesterday Sergeant Rivers tried to commit suicide but I am trying to figure out a solution that not only saves a life but a family as well." 

"I see" he stated and settled back silent for a moment. "Do you mind a suggestion Doctor?" 

"Please," Janet said waving her hand for the man to continue. 

"Stop treating Kira like the sheltered child" he offered. "How she knows about it isn't as vital as the fact that she does know and she's likely scared out of her mind. Children of twelve think they are adults but something like this..." he leaned forward and steeped his fingers on his desk. "Kira has never had anyone in her life but her mother and her military background has made it so her assignments kept her away for sometimes days and weeks at a time therefore Kira has had to depend on herself for almost anything and now when she has the most divesting news in her life people want to shelter her from it. Her mother by trying to I imagine spare her daughter the pain of the illness in later stages, you who next to her mother is the only woman she has bonded to and yes" he said at her shocked look. "Your admission this morning that she cussed at you and argued with you proves it, if she hadn't bonded with you she would have ignored and not responded to you. Do you understand Doctor Fraiser?" 

"I haven't treated her as a child until she started the attitude," Janet corrected. "I have a teenage daughter myself so I know how it is. But if she refuses to talk to me there was no way for me to know anything that she was aware of." Janet was getting a little defensive, she never like to be accused of treating some unjustly. 

Matthews offered a smile, "Doctor I'm not implying you did anything wrong and why I am not Cassandra's counselor I do know of her, she is one of our best students throughout the entire school and she speaks very highly of you" he stated. "That is part of the reason why I have convinced Miss Withers not to expel Kira for this but that she just needs some time. I'm just offering how it likely looks to Kira, to her she doesn't know you didn't know and likely thinks you knew she knew and were trying to shelter her. Teens are not logical as I am sure you know, and she isn't even a teen yet." 

"I understand. If there is nothing further I would like to see Kira and find out why she wanted to see me," Janet said. "After all when I informed her that I planned to speak with some of the staff not naming who she called me a friggin bitch. So you can see why I would be a little surprised to find my presence requested." 

"Yes I can," he said rising. "If you'll come with me please," he said. 

The two arrived at a small office and a window where Miss Withers was watching a woman in white tending a crying Kira who had several bandages on her arms and face. Seeing the two come up she nodded, "She's asked us a few times if you're coming Doctor Fraiser, apparently she wants to see you." 

Janet walked up to Kira and knelt next to her. "Kira?" She questioned. "You asked for me." 

Sniffing and turning the girl wiped her eyes and nodded before leaning over and hugging Janet, "I'm...I'm sorry...I shouldn't...have...said those things but mom...mom said...you found the tumor...said she would have...never known...if not...for you. Angry...angry at you" she said crying and bleeding lightly from the cuts onto Janet's uniform. 

Janet didn't care about the blood getting on her uniform, that wasn't as important as the emotional pain. "It's OK Kira," Janet whispered and held the girl tightly in the hug. "I didn't know your mom talked to you about it. She told me you didn't know." 

"She...she may not have remember" the girl sobbed. 

The principle came in then and cleared her throat, "Doctor Fraiser I'm assuming you're taking Kira home? She's got detention this week for fighting but no expulsion and I've gotten together her homework so she won't fall behind if you do keep her home. Do you want it or will she be back in school tomorrow?" 

"That is up to Kira. Would you rather stay at my house or attend school for the rest of the week?" Janet asked wanting to leave the decision up to Kira and let her feel like she wasn't a kid anymore by giving her responsibilities. 

"Your house" she said not letting go of Janet. "Can I see mom? Is she ok? She isn't..." 

"I'll get those assignments" Withers said and motioned the nurse out leaving the two alone. 

"She's...dead isn't she" she asked puling back, the tears rolling down her cut up and bruised face. "She's gone and no one wants to tell me; just like when daddy was gone." 

"Oh honey no," Janet said softly. "Your mom's not dead and as soon as she is moved I'll try to take you to see her. But I need you to understand something. Right now she is in denial. She thinks that nothing can be done and doesn't want to try any of the treatments." This was always part of what made being a doctor hard. While talking to Kira Janet had began to cry herself not wanting to see this family broken up and Kira alone in the world. 

Bringing her arm up to wipe her nose and wincing as she came over several cuts the girl just cleared her throat and sniffled again, "She's...Is she going to be ok Doctor Fraiser? I don't want her to die," she said softly. 

"I don't want to see that happen either," Janet said truthfully. "But I won't lie to you. If we can get her to agree to treatment and find one that works there is a high chance that she will live but if we wait to long it might be to late." Janet brought her hand up and wiped some of Kira's tears away. "As soon as Ms. Withers returns with your homework I'll take you to my house." 

She nodded sadly, "I'll...I'll talk to her Doctor Fraiser" she whispered and lowered her head. "I'm...I'm sorry I called you what I did this morning." 

Janet ran her fingers through Kira's hair. "It's OK. I know you didn't mean what you said," Janet said and smiled. "You thought I was some evil mean person. Its completely understandable." Janet was trying her best to not treat Kira as a child but the adult she almost was. "I just want you to know that I am here if you need me." 

Miss Withers came in then and handed Kira a manila folder and had her book bag in her hand, "There you go Kira and why Mister Matthews and Doctor Fraiser have convinced me not to expel you if there is another fight I'll have no choice. You'll have five days detention and you need to apologize to Miss Michaels when you see her again." 

"Yes...yes ma'am" Kira said and nodded. "I'm sorry Miss Withers, tell Michelle I'm sorry too." 

Janet just offered whatever comfort she could. "Are you ready t go?" She asked. 

Kira nodded and stood up slowly wincing a few times and saw Miss Withers talking to Fraiser. 

"You can take care of those cuts and bruises or do you want to let the school nurse do it before you leave Doctor" Sarah Withers asked nodding her gray head to the child. 

"I can take care of the when we get home," Janet informed. "I have a medical kit available." Janet started to move and opened her arm waiting for Kira to start to leave also. 

Coming up Kira wrapped her arms around Janet, a hug and just buried her face into her as they walked. 

Janet draped her arm across Kira's shoulders leading her out to her car. "Are you doing ok now?" She asked still very concerned for the girl. 

"Not...Not yet Doctor Fraiser" she answered climbing into the car and buckled her seatbelt. "I'm still worried about mom, I'm scared for her. I tried to get her not to drink so much the night she told me...I hadn't..." she lowered her head. "I hadn't seen her do that since daddy died." 

"You're not alone Kira," Janet said reaching out and squeezing her hand. "I'll help you through this as best I can and I'm there for your mother when she decides she wants my help, till then there is another Doctor working with her. If you ever want to talk about anything, it could be about this or your father or even something else from your past you can either talk to me or I can get another Doctor you can talk to." Janet pulled her hand back and started the car. She glanced behind her then backed up and pulled out onto the road heading for her home. 

Fraiser Residence

Once they got to the house Kira went over to sit on the sofa and stared at her hands. When the woman had mentioned she was going to go get the first aid kit and only winced a few times as Fraiser tended to her. Once they were done the girl felt the doctor sit beside her and she leaned over and rested her head on her chest, "I miss mom so much" she admitted. "When dad died it was just us, she was so hurt so alone and I almost got into trouble for missing school because I wouldn't leave her but eventually it got better and now...now I'm going to loose her again" she said and cried on Janet. 

Janet just held the girl and let her cry. "I'm going to do everything I can to fight that and I'll do my best to not let it happen. But I can't make any promises." Janet just held her tighter and whispered soft words to her as she rocked them both. 

She had called the base earlier to inform General Hammond as to what she was doing and got his permission as well as speaking with Mackenzie and informing him of the headway being made. She was informed that as soon as Sergeant Rivers was moved she would be notified and Kira could visit. 

It was mid afternoon and Janet still sat at the end of the couch with her feet on the rest and Kira asleep in her arms. She had pulled a blanket over the top of them and just held her. Unfortunately since she was home she couldn't attend to SG-1's post jump exams. 

It was later that night when Major Samantha Carter had come home. Mackenzie, Abby, and Cassandra had filled her in on what was going on and before she had come home she'd stopped and had a nice two hour chat with Sergeant Rivers who asked to see Janet at the end of it but she had told her that it wasn't possible until tomorrow. SG-1 had been disappointed when Janet wasn't at the base when they returned but after she heard the explanation it was understandable. General Hammond had understood too as he gave her a letter to give Janet but now she had to find her. 

Tossing her leather jacket on the chair since Cassie was staying with Jennifer tonight, at least she had said she was when she called Sam on the way home, she headed up to the guest bedroom but didn't see anyone and then smiled moving toward the master bedroom. Pushing the door open with her foot she smiled at the sight in the darkness. Janet was lying on the far side with Kira laying on Sam's side and her lover had her arm over the child holding her too her. 

Both had fallen asleep and Janet had no awareness as to what time it was. All she knew was that she was tired and stressed and had a young girl to look after. Her mind was running a mile a minute trying to find the answers that she needed and thinking about Kira and the situation. 

Janet not for the first time that evening had begun to give serious thought as to what would happen to Kira in the event that her mother should die. This worried her, as she didn't want to see this bright beautiful young girl destroyed by the system. 

Sam crept into the room and came up to Janet, pulling the blanket up a little more on both of them and leaned over brushing a feather light kiss on her lover's cheek. She was grateful she couldn't see the black eye, when Cassie had told her about that she'd wanted to rip Rivers to pieces but hadn't. 

Janet blinked in the darkness feeling the feather light kiss. "Sam?" She questioned her voice a little raspy from all the crying she had done with Kira. 

Kneeling down Carter gently stroked Janet's hair and whispered, "Yeah it's me. Shh....you've got arm full of young lady there" she whispered and leaning over kissing Janet's back through the blanket. 

For Kira she snuggled more into Janet and mumbled a little before settling down again in sleep. 

"I'll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight baby girl," Sam volunteered. "We can talk tomorrow." 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you returned," Janet said a little sadly she knew how Sam preferred her to do the exams. 

"That's all right, you can examine me tomorrow to make sure Warner didn't miss anything" she admitted playfully and leaned up to kiss her again. "Love you baby girl." 

"Mmmm....love you too" came the mumbled, sleep filled reply from Kira who didn't realize who she was talking to. 

Janet laughed breaking the kiss from Sam. "I guess I have some competition now," Janet joked. "I love you and I'll see you in the morning." 

"I'm not surprised" Sam volunteered rising, "I'm cute, she has to love me baby." 

"Cute" Kira repeated and pushed her face more into Janet's chest so folks wondered how she was breathing. 

Janet reached up and pulled Sam to her kissing her before wrapping her arm back around Kira. "Apparently she thinks so too," Janet joked. "You better get some sleep. You must be tired from your mission," Janet stated. "Sorry you can't have your bed." 

"You'll just have to make up for it tomorrow sweetie" she commented and moved to the dresser to get her PJ's and then waved blowing Janet a kiss before creeping out. 

It was morning when Janet woke to find Kira still wrapped around her. She brushed stray hair out of the girls face not wanting to disturb her. 

But minutes later the girl woke up with a yawn and rolled over to stretch, "OUCH" she cried and grabbed her shoulder quickly. "That hurt...morning Doctor Fraiser." 

"Morning Kira," Janet said a puzzled expression on her face. "What hurts?" 

"Pick a body part..." she began setting up and the bruises were evident then from the fight easily, having formed throughout the night. "It hurts, no matter what it is. I'm sorry I fell asleep on you last night Doctor Fraiser." 

"It's ok Kira. You have nothing to be sorry for except maybe getting in the fight," Janet said. "You can take a hot bath and that will help with the soreness but how about we get breakfast first?" 

"Sounds good to..." 

Cassandra came breezing in all smiles and looking rested, "It's about time you two got up, it's almost nine o'clock and I brought breakfast with me" she said coming over to her mother and leaning down kissing her cheek. "Kira why don't you help me set it out and mom can wake Sam. Coffee and juice downstairs and you both have nice shiners too" she commented with a wink. 

Janet kissed Cassie back. "You were doing well with the having breakfast made but lost points by commenting on the shiner," Janet said playfully as she sat up. 

Kira asked, "Is it really that bad?" 

"Nah" the teen giggled, "We'll borrow some of mom's make up after the eats and you'll never see it. Come on lazy bones" she said heading for the door. 

Kira winked and climbed out of bed with only a couple ouch's and followed Cassie out of the room. 

Janet stood and headed to the mirror to see if she should cover up her eye. 

"Cassie," she called before either of them left the room completely. "Have you told Sam about my eye?" 

"Yes mom I did" the teen offered and stopped to face her mom. "I didn't think we wanted her to just walk in and see it mom." 

"I guess trying to cover it up and hide it from her is pointless then," Janet said walking away from her mirror and to the door. 

Sam Carter was lying naked, her pajamas on the floor. She was on her stomach with her head buried under a pillow and one lone leg out from under the blankets, hanging half off the bed. 

Janet walked in and shut the door behind her locking it so the kids didn't walk in on something. She made her way over to the bed dragging a nail up the bare leg then leaned over and began sucking on Sam's earlobe and running her tongue around the outer edge. 

A giggle came from the woman and she rolled over with a goofy, sleepy grin and she held out her arms for her lover, "What a way to wake up baby" she promised. "Come to give me my physical have you" she asked with an evil grin and lifted the cover showing her beautiful, naked and tanned body. 

"Possibly," Janet answered giving Sam a passionate kiss before drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and lightly nipping at it. "I have missed you." 

"Oh really" Sam whispered and pulled Janet down on top of her and started unbuttoning her top. "How are the twins? Did they miss me too?" she asked with a grin, one hand sliding inside the half open shirt and started rubbing Janet's breast. "You feel so beautiful, even with that eye baby girl," Sam offered and leaned up gently kissing her eye and then started to give light kisses down her face. 

Janet winced slightly at Sam kissing her eye. "If Cassie hadn't told you I would have tried to cover it up so you wouldn't get mad when you saw it," Janet admitted running her hands over Sam's nude form. 

Carter did her best not to wince but when Janet's hands ran over the deep bruise over her left side she couldn't help it, "WELL..." she began in a slightly higher voice, "I missed you" she said and kissed her lover and gently pinched the nipple she held while she finished unbuttoning the pajama top. 

When Janet heard the yelp from Sam even though she tried to distract her it didn't work. Janet pulled away from Sam and looked at her. "Let me see," she said sternly. "Tell me what happened." 

"Janet it's nothing..." she began dejected and already felt her lover moving off her. ~So much for early morning love~ she thought and slowly winced again and saw her lover gasping. The bruise was deep and several of them covered her left side and a quarter of her back. "It's ok." 

"Sam what happened?" She asked again shocked by what she saw as she ran a lightly finger over the bruises. 

"Some unfriendly natives who thought a woman was best as a punching bag" she offered slowly and started to sit up. "Warner wanted x-rays but I told him..." 

"You need to have x-rays taken. Something could be broken Sam," Janet insisted her voice touched with a bit of panic. 

"It's not and...." 

"MOM, SAM" came Cassie's hollered voice from downstairs, "The food is getting cold." 

"See? We gotta go" Carter said ignoring the ribs, she better be glad that she hadn't gotten any farther than Janet otherwise she would have seen the handprints on her inner thighs from where the men...well if Colonel O'Neil and the others hadn't had ideal timing. 

Janet had concern in her eyes. "After breakfast I am giving you a full physical," Janet stated and stood up buttoning her shirt. She looked back at Sam. "Do you need any help?" 

"No, no I'm fine Janet thanks" she offered with a smile. "But the physical" she said going to get her pajamas slowly, "Will have to wait, you're due on the base by ten aren't you? Oh and Hammond gave me a note for you after my talk with Jennifer Rivers last night" she said. "It's downstairs in my jacket." 

"What, you talked with Jennifer?" Janet questioned. "Why?" 

"To be honest" Sam Carter said after pulling her bottoms on and then turned to face her while buttoning her shirt, "I was not planning on talking. Cassie called me and told me some of what happened, Warner and Mackenzie filled out the rest and I was figuring on going in there and beating her to pieces but she had started crying, mumbling about how she didn't want to die and she was sorry so I talked instead. She wanted to talk to you, I told her you'd see her today." 

"What did you talk about?" Janet questioned pushing for answers. 

"Her mainly, she did more talking than I did" Sam offered and smiled. "So as you can see you've got a busy day so the physical will have to wait Janet. Let's go eat." 

Janet nodded and headed to the door unlocking it and opened it letting Sam go first. They moved down the stairs in silence and into the kitchen.. "So what do we have for breakfast," Janet asked pouring two cups of coffee and handing one to Sam. 

The girls were just about to answer when the phone rang and the extension was closest to Janet. 

"Fraiser residence. Doctor Fraiser speaking," Janet answered. 

"Hey Doc" came the tired and cheerful voice of Colonel Jack O'Neil, entirely too chipper for so early. "How is the shiner? We heard and how is Carter doing," he said growing serious. "I can't believe that SOB actually tried to rape her and...." 

"Not bad but its pretty visible," Janet said walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs sine she had the cordless. When she was out of ear shot of the kids and Sam she continued. "What the hell do you mean by tried to rape her?" Janet asked. "What else happened that I don't know about?" Janet was beginning to get a little mad not at the Colonel but at the asshole that tried to hurt the woman she loved and that said woman for hiding it from her. She now fund herself standing in the middle of her bedroom pacing the floor with the door closed. 

"Hey Doc" the older man said from his head of the phone, "Take it easy. I talked to Warner and he said that Carter told him she had called you and you said for her to come home and you'd handle it there and at the Academy Hospital today. He wasn't thrilled since the idiot native chief guy landed several blows and the guys and I got there just in time" he started to explain. "Had her all primed and left some hearty hand prints on her thighs from what we saw but we tried to give her some space and she said she was fine. She ok Doc? I mean Warner said he was concerned with internal injuries since something or other on her stomach was tender last night but...well Hammond postponed the briefing and gave us all a week off." 

"Damn it," Janet practically yelled. "I can't tell you if she if she is fine or not Sir as I was not informed of her injuries nor did I get a phone call and give her permission to come home. You of all people should know how I work by now." Janet was getting more and more mad by the minute. "Is there anything else I haven't been told because I would really like to know?" 

"Hey Doc" the man interrupted a bit defensively, "Don't yell at me, I didn't find all this out till this morning. I just got out of the Infirmary with Daniel and Teal'c because all four of us came home sporting various concussions, apparently they feel head banging is a literal thing" he commented. "You'd have to talk to Warner about why he didn't keep her and anything else. If I had been awake I wouldn't have let her leave without talking to you, you know that." 

Janet pulled the phone away from her mouth and gave a small scream the moved the receiver back to her head. "I don't mean to yell at you sir. I'm just stressed as it is and this isn't helping. I need to be informed about things and not lied too." 

"Well I didn't lie to you Doc, I like my ass and you got some big honkin needles to stick in it if I do" he commented and chuckled. "Listen I'll talk to Carter as soon as I see her but in the meantime you want me to transfer you to Warner?" 

"Please," Janet bit out angrily. Her anger to the point she was ready to hit something. 

Seconds later a deep voice, "Warner here." 

"Warner how dare you," Janet said angrily. "How could you allow Major Carter to leave without an exam?" 

"I didn't allow her to leave period" he began and felt his headache increasing as he took a seat. "I was reviewing MRI results from the three men while the Major was laying down on a gurney. Marcia checked on her and then we had an off world activation and had to report with a medical team, minor injuries to SG-4. By the time I got back to her she had left a note saying she had called and talked to you and that you said to come home and you'd handle it at the Academy Hospital since I was doing the other three men. Before I could call you after getting the others done she called back and said that you two were at your office at the hospital and would call me this morning with an update before you both came back in." 

"Damn it," Janet yelled grabbing an empty mug from the previous morning and throwing it across the room where it shattered upon impact with the wall. "Thank you Doctor Warner," Janet said and hung up the phone dropping it on the bed before she herself sat on the end with her head in her hands. 

Hearing the mug hit the wall Sam and Cassandra were both on their feet but Carter waved her down, "It's all right Cassie, you guys heat up Janet's food and I'll check on her" she ordered heading toward the stairs, forgetting for a moment she was trying to hide injuries from the woman. 

Coming up to the door she entered and saw her lover, "Janet...sweetheart are you all right" she asked rushing forward slowly. "What's wrong honey?" 

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Janet yelled. "You know damn well what's wrong." She looked up her eyes red from the crying and she abruptly stood and began pacing. 

"Janet" the woman said rising, "The girls are in the house and I have no idea what you're..." 

"Don't lie to me," she continued to yell. "You know exactly what I'm referring to. How you lied to Warner and sneaked off the base. How you have been trying to hide things from me. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out?" She didn't wait for an answer just another question and answered it herself. "Do I look that stupid? Of course I do why else would I be in this situation." She continued to pace back and forth at the foot of the bed. 

"Janet" Sam began and walked over putting her hands on the woman's shoulder, "It's nothing and I had every intention of telling you last night, well maybe not all of it but most of it but then you and Kira were asleep and I wasn't about to wake either of you up for nothing that couldn't wait. You know I don't like Warner, that's part of the reason and it isn't the first concussion I've had" she offered and silently reminded herself that she was going to kill the Colonel or whoever spilled the beans. 

Meanwhile downstairs Cassandra pulled Kira toward the stairs once they were done eating, "Get changed, we'll go for a jog" she said hearing her mom's tone once in a while as they entered her room. "You can borrow something of mine since your stuff is in mom's room." 

"Is everything going to be ok Cassie?" Kira asked. "They're not fighting because I'm here are they?" Tears began to well up in her eyes at that thought and on instinct she wanted to flee. 

"No, not you I promise" the girl stated with a smile and pointed to the closet. "Go get changed, they always do this when my aunt Sam comes back from a mission. She was away for three days and she worries when mom isn't there with her every second. We'll stop to see them before we leave" she said starting to change. 

"Janet aren't you going to say anything" Sam encouraged gently. "Listen you know how I feel about Warner and they didn't do anything but leave a few bruises." 

"That's not the point Sam. You didn't bother to even get x-rays and by the look of your stomach you have more than just bruises," Janet said angrily brushing off Sam's hands as she continued to pace. "Hell you were almost raped. Where you even going to tell me that? No of course not its not important," Janet said sarcastically. 

Kira found a pair of lightweight sweats and an old t-shirt to use. She grabbed a pair of socks and after dressing pulled her tennis shoes on. "I'm ready whenever you are. I'll meet you downstairs." She left the room heading to the living room to wait getting worried about all the yelling. 

Before Sam could answer Cassie ran to her mom's room and came in, normally she wasn't that rude, "Mom I don't know what you two are yelling about but knock it off before Kira bolts. She thinks you two are fighting over her and someone better go assure her you aren't while I finish getting dressed, we're going for a jog." 

"We weren't fighting over her" Sam insisted but looked at Fraiser, "You're closer to her than I am, do you want to talk to her? I can leave and give you a chance to cool off Janet." 

"I can't do this right now," Janet said and stormed out of the room. He shoes and coat as well as key's and wallet were down stairs so she could calm Kira down before she takes off. 

'Kira," Janet called quietly looking for the girl. But she wasn't there she had left apparently. 

~God damn it~ Sam thought and nodded to Cassie that it was ok and raced after Fraiser, "Janet don't run off, let's talk about this and...." she came to a stop behind the woman. "Where is she?" 

"I don't know," Janet said in a panic as she threw open the door and took of for the sidewalk to see if Kira was still on their street. 

Cassie and Sam came running out, "Mom what's wrong" the teen asked looking around and wincing a little at the bright sunlight. "Sam?" 

"I was an idiot again Cassie is the short of it" Carter volunteered. 

"Where did she go?" Janet kept repeating to herself as she took of down the street. 

"MOM" Cassie said and ran up and stepped in front of her, "Listen I'll find Kira, I'm a teen I know the places she'd go. You take care of the blond idiot and I'll handle the black haired one. I've got my cell and I'll call you the minute I find her" she offered and hugged her mom and looked at her Aunt. "Whatever you did stupid, apologize and let mom help, she's good at it. Later" and Cassandra turned and jogged off, mumbling about inconsiderate people. 

Carter came up and put a hand on Janet's shoulder, "Smart daughter you have there and I'm sorry Janet. Please, let's go inside and talk about this and yes for the record I was going to tell you. I would never keep something like that from you for any length of time." 

Janet just walked away not acknowledging the hand on her shoulder. Se headed back into the house and sat on the couch burying her face in her hands and crying. 

~Oh this is working out so well~ she thought and followed her lover inside closing the door. "Janet I'm sorry. I have no excuse and what I did was incredibly stupid. All I can say is that I missed you and wanted to be with you last night after what happened, I needed to..." she paused and trailed off. "I also didn't want Warner examining me, especially not in that way and a few bruises I didn't think was anything to worry about really," she said going over to sit beside her. "God baby, can you forgive me for being such a fool? I'm really seriously sorry." 

Janet just continued to cry having a slight break down it was too much, way too much for her to handle emotionally. "Honestly I don't know Sam. Right now I can't even think straight I'm so emotionally overwhelmed," Janet said her voice calmer than before. 

Instantly afraid Sam looked timid, terrified more than she had ever seen her and the pain and the rape or thoughts of it meant nothing at the knowledge she may have lost Janet, her one true lover, "I..." a single tear slid down her face, "Do you want me to leave Janet? I will...if you want me to. I'm...so sorry." 

"No, I don't know what I want. All I know is that for the last three days I have been extremely stressed and under immense emotional strain and then for you to come back from that mission and to find out what happened and could have happened from everyone but you, the one person that should have told me. It hurt Sam it really hurt." Janet looked at Sam tears falling down her cheeks her eyes bloodshot. 

Not knowing what else to do Sam gently pulled Janet to her, as they both leaned back on the couch and she stroked her hair, rubbed her back. "It's ok Janet...I'm here baby...I'm safe and I'm here" she promised kissing her forehead gently, as a friend but then again as a lover. "I'm sorry I was an idiot" she began. 

Janet clung to her like a lifeline. "You can't do that. You can't keep things from me or not tell me." Janet burying her face back in Sam's shoulder trying to hide. 

"I know baby" Sam said crying now too, "I promise, never again...I'll tell you everything...every single thing I promise" she said holding her tightly and kissed her resting her head on Janet's head lightly. "I love you so much Janet, please...please believe that." 

Just then the phone rang. Thankfully the corded phone was near the couch and Sam only had to shift a little with Janet to get it, "Fraiser residence, can I help you," she asked holding Fraiser tightly. 

"This is Lieutenant Washington calling to see if Doctor Fraiser was coming in or if she was going to call out?" 

"Hey Abby" Sam answered with a smile. "She's going to be in later, both of us will but can you tell the General that we are dealing with the kids today and we'll be in late. And tell Doctor Warner I'm sorry and I'll talk to him when I get in will you?" 

"Yes ma'am I can do that," Washington said. "Can you inform Doctor Fraiser ma'am that Sergeant Rivers has been asking for her again?" 

"I'll tell her Abby and tell the Sergeant that Janet will see her when she comes in later this afternoon" Carter offered. "Thanks bye" she said hanging up the phone and rubbed Fraiser's back. 

No sooner did Sam hang up the phone than it rang again and she grabbed it, "Fraiser resi...Oh Cassie, did you find her?" 

An out of breath teen nodded and realized she couldn't see that over the phone, "Yes...she...jogged...to Maple. Ten blocks" she finished and glanced over at Kira. "She really runs Sam, at least when she wants to. We're going to take the bus to the mall, ask mom if that's ok would you?" 

Janet's sobs had finally stopped and now she just sat there while Sam was on the phone collecting herself. Trying to get her emotions under control, feeling bad from breaking down and yelling at Sam. 

"Hang on I'll ask" Carter volunteered and looked at her lover. "Cassie found her, ten blocks from here. Apparently she likes to jog when upset. They want to know if it's ok if they take the bus to the mall?" 

Janet nodded. "One of us can pick them up when they are finished," she managed her voice rough. 

Putting the phone back to her ear Sam rubbed the woman's back, "One of us, likely your mom, will pick you up when you're done. You and Kira behave yourselves." 

"Always Sam, give mom a kiss and I'll talk to her later. If you need us call the cell" the teen offered. "Bye" and hung up. 

Hanging the phone up the blond woman kissed Janet lightly, "From Cass, she said she loves you and to call the cell if you need her Janet." 

"I'm sorry Sam," Janet said and stood walking towards the stairs. ""I have so screwed things up because I lost my cool. I freaked Kira out, now she'll wind up shutting me out again." One step at a time Janet climbed the stairs heading for her room. 

Glad that Janet was gone for a minute Sam let herself feel the pain and doubled over on the sofa before the nausea and the pain passed but then she stood up slowly, wiped her brow and moved slowly toward the stairs following Fraiser. Entering the room she went to sit on the bed beside her, "Janet that isn't true. If you had freaked her out as you put it she wouldn't have let Cassie find her, as it was she just needed some time and she went where she knew Cass or we would find her. Besides you had cause to loose it," she offered slowly. "If anything it's my fault, not yours Janet." 

"You should get dressed and report to the infirmary," Janet said. "I didn't like the look of the bruises and from what I have been told you could have sustained severe injuries." Janet got up and started making the bed trying to fall into her normal routine or at least do something normal. 

Standing up Sam nodded, "Rivers wants to see you when you come in and I'm hoping after you're done with me; assuming you can stand to help me that is" Carter offered and stood up. 

"Sam, I'm your doctor if its me you want then its me you will have," Janet sighed. "I won't go see Rivers though. I don't think I could deal with that." Janet moved to stand in front of Sam placing a hand on her cheek. "Tell me the truth. How seriously are you hurt?" 

As a military officer Carter started to lie but as a woman she couldn't, wouldn't lie to Janet not like this, "Truthfully" she said sinking down on the bed, "Pretty good I think. I don't think I'm in danger of dying but it's bad Janet. As for Rivers..." 

Janet cut her off focusing on one problem at a time. She started to unbutton Sam's shirt. "Where does it hurt?" She asked as she pushed the shirt off rounded shoulders. 

"Chest, left side, head, my legs hurt too" she said purposefully and leaned her head forward resting it on Janet's shoulder as she closed her eyes since the room wouldn't hold still. 

"What did...did he do to you?" Janet asked in a shaky voice holding Sam. It scared her to find out but she needed to know not just as a doctor but because she loved Sam. 

"Bruises I think Janet" she admitted slowly, "Maybe a finger before the guys...OW" she hollered feeling Janet come up on her cracked rib and started to pull away. 

Sam's holler caused Janet to immediately go into Doctor mode. She stood and head to the bathroom to collect her medical bag and came right back. "Are you finding it a little hard to breath?" She asked as he began slightly pushing on Sam's ribs. 

Wincing Sam blinked back the tears in her eyes and she nodded at the question as her head swam and she started to lie back, puling away from Janet and her probing hands. 

Janet stopped but refused to let Sam lay on the bed. "I need to wrap your ribs. You may have cracked or broken several of them," Janet informed as she dug through her bag and pulled out a bandage. Tightly she began wrapping it around Sam's abdomen and when she finished she helped her lay down. "Try to take shallow breaths." 

"Should...we go back to the base" she asked quickly. Sam was thinking x-rays, MRI's and painkillers would all be wonderful right about now; she wouldn't even complain once. 

"In a minute," Janet said as she let her hands leave Sam's shoulders and move but not touching the bandages to finally rest on her hips. 

"Janet..." she said the question clear as she opened her eyes, wincing at the light in the room. 

"Shh," Janet whispered as she hooked her fingers in Sam's pants and started to try to pull them down. 

"Janet no" Sam said but couldn't fight the pants being pulled down. She knew as her doctor that Janet had to examine her and she was doing it at home to spare her more embarrassment at the base but she didn't want her lover to see the marks, the blood in her panties unless she had stopped since last night. 

Janet finally had the pants and panties down around Sam's ankles. The eyes never followed the garments but stopped upon seeing all the bruising. After a few minutes she let her eyes take in the rest of the damage when she notices the blood in her clothing. "Sam....did...did he?" She tried not able to finish the question. 

"Just his fingers baby, he had...just penetrated when the Colonel and others came in" she offered obviously embarrassed and angry, she'd have killed him herself if she could have. 

Janet rested her hands and forehead on Sam's knee before standing up and moving to lay next to Sam on the bed. "I'm sorry," she continued to say over and over tears in her eyes. 

Closing her legs Sam rolled over, with only a few grunts and pulled the woman toward her, "It's ok Janet...I love you so much and I know" she began her voice high with emotion, "It's going to be ok, you make it ok just by being near me. I love you so much but we...have to go to the base. I know you want me in the Infirmary baby." 

Janet was careful not to touch Sam as she gave her a deep kiss before standing up and moving to the closet. She pulled out some clean loose fitting clothes for Sam to wear. She walked back to the bed and was going to help her dress. "Let's get you dressed," she said her voice sounding different. 

"Janet" the woman asked sitting up slowly, her head swam but she swallowed hard, "Are you ok? I mean really ok?" 

"I'm not the one hurt Sam," Janet said as she pulled Sam's shirt on. 

"Maybe not physically but..." then it hit her and she rolled over clutching her stomach, "AAAAHHHHH...OH GOD...GOD IT HURTS" the tears coming freely now to Sam's eyes. 

'Sam," Janet said. "What is it? What's wrong?" She wanted to try to look but was afraid to touch her and cause more damage. 

"Stomach" she croaked out and coughed and then Janet saw it, she had coughed up blood on the bed, which meant internal injuries and a timetable. 

"I need to call for an ambulance," Janet said moving away from Sam to the phone. "Yes this is Doctor Janet Fraiser and I need an ambulance immediately." 

"On it's way Doctor, ETA nine minutes" came the voice from the base since she had called there. "What's the situation ma'am?" 

"I have a patient that has sustained severe injuries. Possible broken or fractured ribs and there are signs of possible internal injuries." 

"Understood. Ambulance is on the way Doctor." 

SGC Complex  
Corridor

It took over six hours of tests, surgery and repair before SG-1 plus Hammond jumped to their feet at seeing Doctor Janet Fraiser coming out tiredly in scrubs from the OR. They had all mostly raced down the minute that Major Sam Carter had been brought in by ambulance in severe distress and O'Neil and Hammond were both blaming themselves, the General more than the others. He was pretty much the only one conscious last night and he hadn't known what all was going on with Sam until after she had told him she was leaving and had gone home to Doctor Fraiser. It had been so late he hadn't pushed it and was going to talk to her this morning; she had broken medical protocol by leaving the mountain. 

"Doc" Jack O'Neil demanded hurriedly, "How is she? Is she going to be ok?" 

"I have been able to stop the internal injuries but she did loose a lot of blood so it is still touch and go," Janet said tiredly. "If she makes it through the night then she should recover completely." 

"IF" Jack demanded confused, "What do you..." 

"Colonel" Hammond interrupted and looked at Janet, "Good work Doctor, if not for your quick work and I'm sorry she got off the base, I accept full wrath for that." 

"Janet" Daniel said slowly and came over, "What about the..." he raised his eyebrows, "You know. Was she uh...well..." 

"Was Major Carter violated Doctor Fraiser" Teal'c asked and saw everyone looking at him but he merely raised his eyebrow. 

Janet dropped her head, her lover had enough to deal with and this was adding too much. "Anything aside from what I just told you about the immediate danger falls under doctor patient confidentiality. I can't disclose any specifics only to say that se sustain severe internal injuries among other things." Janet wasn't going to confirm nor deny the question. 

"Doc how can we help her if we don't know," Jack asked coming over to her. 

"Colonel you know the doctor can't tell us" Hammond interrupted. "If there is anything we can do for you or Major Carter please let me know. Alert me when she regains consciousness Doctor" he ordered. 

"Jack why don't you back off" Daniel asked and came up putting his arm around Janet. "You already killed the guy Jack, what more do you want?" 

"I should have castrated him Daniel for what he did to Carter" the man snapped. "Doc can we sit with her at least?" 

"First of I didn't say the guy had raped her and secondly killing someone isn't the answer Colonel," Janet said and held up her hand to forestall his arguments. "As much as I am glad you did. Hell I would have killed him but it's not the way. That makes us no different from the Goa'uld that we fight." She turned and started to leave. "You can stay with her for a few minutes but when I say its time to leave you have to leave." She was walking and almost reached the door when she stopped suddenly. "Oh God Cassie. I forgot all about Cassie and Kira they were at the mall." Janet was almost in a panic and started to fight to just breath normally. 

"They are in your home" Daniel offered and rushed up. "I called Cassie's cell when you came in, told her that you and Sam had to work late and you'd call her later. Let me take you to your quarters Janet" he offered again. 

The other three men left Teal'c and Jack going in with Sam and the General going back to his office. 

"Thank you Daniel," Janet gasped out as she let Daniel lead her to her quarters. 

Fraiser Quarters

Once the man had Janet lying down and covered up he sat beside her gently and rubbed her cheek, "Sam is a fighter Janet and she isn't about to leave us, leave you. Just hang on to that all right" he said and offered his hand to her with a smile. "I'll stay with you if you want me to Janet, up to you?" 

She took the offered hand holding on to it tightly. "I just don't know what to do Daniel. It seems like my world is closing up around me and I can't stop it,' Janet said softly rubbing at her eyes. "While SG-1 was off world I have been fighting with Sergeant Rivers trying to get her to seek treatment and she won't, just pushes me away. Then there is her daughter Kira who at first wanted nothing to do with me then she opened up and has clung to me like a lifeline. All she has left in this world is her mother and that may not be for long. She has no other family so if Sergeant Rivers dies Kira will be all alone without a home to go to." She closed her eyes at the thought of that. 

Carefully Daniel climbed into bed beside Fraiser, his friend and his doctor and helped her rest her head on his chest as he stroked her hair, "She won't have no one Janet because despite what you think" he said softly and scooted down so she could drift off as he ran his thumb over the hand he held. "You love her, you love all children but you've made a connection with Rivers and from Abby tells me she's been asking for you to apologize. Apparently she and Sam had a talk about you," he answered with a smile. "Sam is going to be ok Janet and with Rivers all you can do is your best, be there for Kira as her friend and you may find out just how powerful that is" Daniel told her. "Try to sleep Janet, I'm right here and I'll stay, I promise." 

"I'm just afraid that this is too much for me to handle. That the minute something else goes wrong I'll fall apart," Janet admitted and tried to relax against Daniel and get some sleep. 

"So" Jackson asked, "You don't have to Miss Perfect Doctor all the time Janet. I'm here if you want to let yourself go, I won't hold it against you I promise" he said squeezing her hand. "It's true isn't it? I know officially you can't tell me and I promise I'll never say a word but this is eating you up, he raped her didn't he Janet?" 

"I can't tell you if he did or didn't," Janet breathed out a sigh. "I won't explain things and cause Sam embarrassment. As it was she fought with me and I'm her lover." She quieted for a few moments. "I have to be perfect and in control. If I'm not then two people could loose their lives." 

"Wrong" Daniel offered holding her, "You're with a friend right now and I'm not needing you to be anything but you. You're hurt Janet, emotionally hurt so stop fighting it and let it out. Then you'll feel better to help Sam and the others," he pleaded. 

"I can't," she fought not wanting anyone to see her weak. 

"You know" he began and rubbed her back, "I thought much the same thing after my parents died. It was so hard and I thought if anyone saw me weak they wouldn't like me. That I was so much more impressive when I stood tall and was the adult but you know a really good friend taught me that sometimes you prove you're stronger by letting friends help you when you're hurting. Do you know" Daniel asked glancing down at her, "Who taught me that Janet?" 

"No, I didn't meet you until I was stationed to the SGC," Janet said sadly. "Till a few years ago." 

Daniel had to smile at the irony, "I didn't say I learned it then, just that a friend taught me and she taught me the first time I laid terrified and hurt in her Infirmary. Any ideas now" he asked playfully. "You reached out to me Janet, helped me when I needed it. Let me help you, I promise no one will ever know." 

"It's my job to help Daniel. It's not yours," Janet stated her walls breaking a little. 

"Healing me is your job Janet" he said stroking her hair gently, "Holding me as I cried from a nightmare wasn't, holding my hand half the night wasn't your job and helping you, listening as you cry at the hurt you've been forced to do isn't my job...it's my privilege as your friend" he said squeezing her body. "Let it go Janet, it's ok." 

Janet couldn't fight it anymore not matter how much she tried her walls crumbled. She lay there in Daniel's arms and cried. Cried till she fell asleep. 

Infirmary

Hours later Major Sam Carter opened groggy, blue eyes to find the Colonel, Teal'c and she knew Janet and Daniel had to be close by. She started to shift and immediately monitors blared, she felt the catheter someone had stuck her with pull and her head felt like it would go rolling down the corridor, "OY" she commented. 

"Hey Carter" Jack O'Neil stated, "You about done laying down on the job?" 

"It is good to see you awake Major Carter," Teal'c said tilting his head slightly. 

"Thank you Teal'c" Sam said licking her lips, "What...happened" and ignored the sounds and feelings she had that her lover was fast approaching and closed her eyes. "Colonel if Janet asks, tell her I'm asleep Sir," she said not wanting to face the woman's wrath. She had every right to be mad at her. 

"I don't think so Carter," Jack said his voice full of humor. He knew she was going to get and it wasn't going to do anything to change that. 

"You were rushed in here and had surgery," Teal'c informed giving Jack a quizzically look as to why he seemed so happy. 

"What?" Jack asked. "Why are you looking at me like that T?" 

Opening one eye Sam smiled, "Because he knows I'm going to..." and then she sensed her and immediately closed her eyes. "No one here but us sleeping patients Janet." 

"Oh that's so not going to work Carter" Jack commented and took a seat crossing his arms to enjoy the show. "You really shouldn't have run off Carter." 

"Yes Sir but I..." 

"I see our pain in the ass patient is finally awake," Janet commented looking at Sam's vitals and writing notes in her chart. "How are you feeling? Any pain or nausea?" 

"Fine, yes and no" were the answers as Sam saw the guys smiling; "You guys shouldn't pick on me" she chastised but didn't move. "About the extra plumbing down there Janet listen I really don't..." 

"I'll say when you don't need anything," Janet said firmly. "The last time you made medical decisions you wound up here." Janet moved to stand next to the bed and pulled out her pen light. First the left then the right Janet shined the light in Sam's eyes watching how the pupil dilated. 

"Oh yeah, you got the light Carter" the Colonel answered playfully and smiled. "Next she'll start poking and prodding." 

"Jack, O'Neil" Daniel and Teal'c said at once. 

"Scary isn't it Carter" he answered with a smile, "They talk together, maybe they are puppets." 

Sam laughed and waved her hand at Janet to get her to go away and immediately regretted it, "Oh...Oh don't...make me...laugh Sir...hurts." 

"Maybe then you will think twice before taking off and not receiving medical attention," Janet said finishing her checks. She moved to the IV bag and read it checking how much was left. "I'll give you something for the pain and to help you sleep." 

"But I don't want to sleep" Carter protested, "I want this tube out and...." 

Daniel and Teal'c each took one of Jack's arms, "Time to go Jack. Sam we'll check back later." 

"DANIEL, TEAL'C come on" O'Neil argued, "They are just talking about the good stuff and...." he was drug out of the curtained area, "NO! CARTER I..." and then silence as the three men left the Infirmary. 

"And here I didn't even have to kick them out," Janet said sarcastically. "Sam, don't argue with me. You are going to sleep whether you like it or not. It's the only way your body is going to heal, I mean hell you really did a number on yourself this time." Janet was fighting with her self not to get angry and yell at Sam. Now was neither the place nor the time. 

"Whatever you want Janet" Sam stated knowing she had shot her wad with her lover. "How...bad was the damage this time? Can I have a glass of water" she asked quickly and licked her dry lips. 

Janet went over and poured a glass of water and brought it to Sam. She lifted her head letting Sam take small sips. "Bad you were in surgery for six hours," Janet said setting the glass down. 

Sipping the water the woman let her head fall back on the pillow and reached out taking Janet's hand in hers, "What...aren't you telling me? There is something Janet, I can see it in your eyes baby girl." 

"Sam you were lucky. We could have lost you," Janet said letting out a sigh. "I almost lost you," she said almost inaudible. 

"But you didn't" she insisted locking her blue, tired eyes on Janet's. It was clear she was fighting to stay awake, "I love you and I shouldn't have put myself into such stupid risk. What about damage you know..." she kicked her feet a little to indicate where she meant. 

"It will heal," she said softly. "There was a lot of tearing and quiet a bit of bruising. It will be tender and sore for a few weeks so you know what that means but it will heal." 

Janet tried to walk away pulling her hand from Sam's. 

"No" she said sitting up and immediately regretted it, "Stay...stay with me Janet, please? I need you." 

Janet pushed Sam back into laying down. "You'll be fine. Once again you were lucky," Janet said pulling the chair closer to the bed and sitting in it. 

"I was stupid" Sam snapped and closed her eyes as her mind filled with images of what she could have lost and a tear slid down her cheek. She had acted all tough and macho and almost lost the best thing in her life. How could she possibly have been such an idiot? 

"Sam don't pull into yourself," Janet said squeezing her hand. "You still have me." 

Opening her eyes Carter looked at her, "I almost lost you Janet...all because I wanted to be some macho idiot. I should have called you to come in, I know you would have but I just...I didn't want to bother you and wanted to go home." 

Janet's heart broke and she stood moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "You don't need to act all macho for me. I know how strong you are and putting yourself in danger, taking unnecessary risks isn't proving anything to me except maybe your not ready for a serious relationship," Janet said wiping Sam's tear away. 

Fear gripped the woman and she sat up, ignoring the pain and the gasp and wrapped her arms around Janet, "I'll do better..." she sad terrified, "I swear I will...I'll behave, I'll do whatever you want Janet just don't leave me, please. I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'll resign if you want me to, I'll do whatever you want and...." 

"Shh Sam," Janet said wrapping her arms around Sam. "I didn't say I was going to actually leave you. I don't think I could but I also know that if you were to die a piece of me would die with you. I don't know if I would be able to keep going at that point. You are my world and without you there is nothing. So you can't take more foolish risks. OK?" 

"I promise, I swear," she repeated over and over again until she literally fell asleep in Janet's arms. 

Janet gently laid Sam on the bed and ran her hands through her own hair. Even though she was tired she new that she wouldn't be able to sleep with so many things needing to be done. ~I guess I should head over and see Mackenzie about Sergeant Rivers~ Janet though to herself as she left Sam's room and headed to Mackenzie's office. She knocked lightly on the door. 

Mackenzie's Office

David Mackenzie was just hanging up his coat and reached for his briefcase, "Doctor Fraiser, please come in. How is Major Carter doing? I've got her slated to talk to me in a few days." 

"She is stable," Janet admitted. "I'm glad you are going to talk to her but she isn't the reason I'm here." Janet moved to the chair and sat down heavily. "I have been informed that Rivers has been asking for me. Am I correct in this assumption? And do you think it would be a good idea for me to speak with her or should I just stay clear?" 

"You tell me" he offered and handed her a file from the briefcase. "I was just preparing to oversee her transport to the Academy Hospital though we seem to have gotten the dosage of antidepressant right she has also stopped denying the need for treatment and has asked me several times if you were still her doctor, I wasn't sure what to tell her Doctor." 

"Honestly I don't know either," Janet admitted looking through the file. "What are your recommendations?" 

"Honestly" Mackenzie admitted. "I think you should and I think you should see her. She's been told Kira is staying with you and she was happy about that, said no one better existed and she wants to thank you for saving her life as well; from what she told me." 

Janet closed her eyes and nodded. When she opened her eyes again she spoke. "I had a feeling you were going to say that." She stood moving to the door. "I guess I better go see my patient," she said tiredly. "Does the paperwork she filled requesting a change of doctor still exist?" 

"Apparently it got lost somewhere," he answered with a nod. It was his way of saying that it had been taken care of. "Oh and Doctor, since you're going in there supervise the techs getting her into the straight jacket for the transport would you? It will save me time and I have a meeting in a couple hours. Thanks." 

"I can do that," Janet said with a slight smile. "Anything I can do to help?" 

He shook his dark head, "Just get her prepped for transport Doctor, thanks." 

Medical Isolation Room

Inside the isolation room Sergeant Jennifer Rivers was lost in thought as she stood looking at her reflection in the mirror. There was a lot on her mind, her daughter, the tumor, her career or lack thereof, hell immortality had a place in her thoughts lately. 

Janet sighed to calm her nerves then opened the door and headed into the room. "Sergeant Rivers," she said politely. "I was told you wanted to see me?" 

Turning at the voice Jennifer nodded and took a step toward her then stopped, after everything that had happened she may not be welcome and the doctor had used her rank, "Doctor Fraiser yes I did. I wanted to thank you for what you did for me in the cemetery" she said officially. "I'm...I'm really sorry ma'am and that I know you wanted to help and I'm glad I didn't hurt anyone, myself included." 

"I'm glad you didn't hurt anyone either," Janet admitted. "And your welcome just don't try a repeat performance of the cemetery. I may not be around next time." 

"I plan to fight for my life ma'am, not end it," she said with a firm nod. "The neurologist you recommended is stopping by to see me at the Academy Hospital tomorrow so maybe he'll have good news ma'am." 

"I hope he does," Janet said with a smile. "And I'm glad that you are now fighting for the right thing." Janet let her walls fall a little but kept her guard up. 

"I heard what happened with Kira" Jennifer volunteered and motioned to the stool in the room as she sat on the bed. "I'm sorry she's causing such issues Doctor and I fully understand if you want someone else to watch her. I plan to talk to her as soon as possible." 

"Kira is fine now," Janet stated. "The first night it was hard. She wanted nothing to do with my daughter or me. She blamed me for your situation," Janet shrugged there was nothing that could be done about the past. "Now that she knows I am not the bad guy she has been wonderful though I am afraid I gave her quite a scare this morning and have not had the chance to speak with her since then." 

Rivers nodded and she shrugged lightly, "I'm afraid I'm probably to blame for her attitude. The night before the cemetery I drank...a lot and I think I remember not having some nice things to say about you ma'am. I'm sorry about that," she admitted, embarrassed. "I...I didn't want to loose our friendship over this, I hope you know that at least ma'am." 

"I don't think it's completely lost but there is a lot of effort and trust that must be done on your part," Janet admitted. "If there is anything you need I am here. And I will continue to be there for Kira but I do need you to answer some questions for me." Janet waited getting Jennifer's full attention. "I need to know what arrangements you have made for Kira in the off chance you pass away. Do you have friends that are willing to take her or is she going to have to go to foster care?" 

Licking her lips the woman thought about it a moment and stood up, "I was an only child Doctor Fraiser, as was Kira's father before he died and both our parents are dead. I don't have any relatives or any friends that would take her," she admitted slowly. "I...I don't want her to have to go to foster care but it looks like; at this moment; I have no choice. Why do you ask though?" 

"Kids can get lost in the system and Kira is a good bright kid. I would hate to see her get lost so to speak," Janet said truthfully. "Sometime the good ones turn bad not because of their choice but because the system didn't help them." 

"Unfortunately that's true" Jennifer admitted sadly. 

A couple of techs and a nurse came in then and stopped at seeing Fraiser, "Doctor I'm sorry to disturb you, we were just coming to get the Sergeant into her travel jacket" she said with a nod to the straight jacket she held. 

Rivers stiffened a little but nodded slowly, "I...I understand" she said trying not to remind herself how frightened she was. 

"It's going to be ok Jennifer," Janet said using her name for the first time since the incident. "Just precautionary I promise." 

"Yes ma'am" she answered with a nod. "Uh would you mind if I asked you to do it? I mean I understand if you don't want to and...." 

"Sergeant that isn't procedure normally" the nurse volunteered. 

"I know" Jennifer admitted. 

"Its all right," Janet said reaching for the straight jacket and then moving towards Jennifer. "I need you to put your arms in and we can slid it over your head." Jennifer now had the jacket on and Janet was finishing with the last of the buckles. "Once you are moved and settled I will try to bring Kira by." 

Taking a deep breath she nodded slowly, now trussed up like a Christmas Turkey. "Yes ma'am, I understand. Tell her I love her and I'm sorry would you please?" 

"Will be the first thing I say when I see her," Janet smiled. :Are you ready to transfer?" 

"Yeah I guess" she said shifting a little, still unsure and scared. "Uh I heard about the fight that Kira was in, is she ok? I mean physically. Doctor Mackenzie told me he thought she was hurt but he didn't know how bad." 

"She just has some scratches and bruises," she reassured. "Nothing major and she should be healing just fine. Is there anything I can do for you before you leave?" 

"Not unless you would consider a sedative," she joked but wasn't even aware herself how serious she sounded. "Sorry ma'am, I just don't like straight jackets I guess." 

"A sedative is your choice," Janet said looking sincerely at Jennifer. "If you would prefer to be sedated during the transfer it can be done." Even through everything Janet and Jennifer had gone through she still considered her a friend and would help in anyway she could. 

"Thanks" Jennifer answered sincerely, "I'll...I'll be ok ma'am. Thank you again for all your help Doct...Janet" she finished and met her eyes, the same good-natured spark there that she had seen in the hospital. "I heard about Major Carter, I'm sorry and please tell her to get well soon or I'm not going to sneak her in anymore blue jello" she answered with a smile. 

"So you are the reason she always had a sugar high," Janet stated playfully. "I should have known and I'll be sure to pass on your well wishes. I'm hoping she makes a complete recovery with no complications. I can only handle one stubborn patient at a time and since you were being treated first she just needs to behave." Janet always joked when things were way to serious and dangerously close to being worse case scenarios. 

Jennifer laughed as she saw Mackenzie come in and she nodded, "I'll try to be less stubborn in the future ma'am" she offered and started to walk past her and stopped. Since her arms were wrapped around her body she couldn't do a hug but she did lean down and kiss Janet's cheek, "Thank you Janet, you saved my life and I thank you for that." 

"Just get better OK," Janet said. "I want Kira to grow up with a mother." Janet squeezed Jennifer's shoulder before stepping back so she could leave. "I'll stop by tomorrow with Kira for a visit." 

Rivers nodded and went up to Mackenzie who nodded to her and left with the techs and nurses, leaving Janet alone in the isolation room. 

Janet looked around the empty room. "I guess I will head back and check on Sam before heading home," Janet said to herself and she too left the room. 

Infirmary

Sam was just waking up when Janet came in and she smiled tiredly, how she could be so tired after just getting up amazed her but she was, "Hey Janet" she whispered. 

"Hey," Janet said softly flashing one of her smiles at Sam. She made her way over to the bed and leaned against it running her fingers through blond hair. "How are you feeling?" 

Sam flashed her own grin at her and rolled over a little on her back, "Better, now that you're here. Still tired though, no idea why." 

"Its just the last of the sedatives in your system," Janet informed. "How's the pain?" 

"Present but ok" she answered and studied her lover a moment rubbing her belly under the blankets. "So I'm going home with you right," she joked. 

"You know that's not going to happen," Jane said looking away she needed to tell Sam but wasn't sure how to do it. 

Gently using her one hand, the one without the IV she raised it and pulled the hand from her hair and kissed it holding it tightly, "What is it Janet? Talk to me, whatever it is we can work it out, promise." 

"It's nothing Sam," Janet said avoiding eye contact. 

"Bull" the woman insisted and started to sit up, "I screwed up Janet and made a stupid mistake but please...please don't start shutting me out. I can't live with that" she promised. 

"I'm not shutting you out Sam," Janet continued. "It's really not that important. And it's not anything that will affect our relationship." 

"Tell me what it is and what it's about then Janet" Sam insisted squeezing the hand now that she was sitting but the pain had definitely risen at that point. "I only want to help but you have to tell me what it is first Janet." 

"I don't want you to feel bad," Janet said and noticed the pain Sam was in. "I should give you something for the pain." She sidestepped Sam's pushing hoping this will get Sam to forget. 

"I'm fine" she insisted to her lover and still held her hand. "Is this about Cassie or Kira maybe? I know the nurse told me you saw Rivers." 

"I haven't talk with Cassie or Kira yet. Haven't seen them since this morning with I blew my cool," Janet admitted hanging her head. "I don't know what to do about Rivers. For three days she fought me on this and now she wants to fight the disease instead of me. I don't know if I should try to help or allow another doctor to take over." Janet paused sighing. "It got so bad Sam that Jennifer gave a letter of recommendation to Mackenzie requesting that I be no where around her that I am no longer her doctor. Granted the paper work did get lost but I know it still existed to a point." 

Pausing to think a moment Sam scooted over and made room for her lover to sit, "Janet, first I know this is so hard on you. You reached out to Jennifer and then she threw it back at you and I know that hurts" she said with a nod. "But the fact is you're already involved, whether as her doctor or not, you are involved. You are the one that diagnosed the tumor, you got her assignment here, you are watching her daughter, and you saved her life. Whether you want to be or not isn't really the issue. We both know that if you transferred her care you'd stay involved anyway because it's the kind of doctor you are. You only have to ask yourself the one question; do you want to be her doctor? And only you can answer that" she said gently. 

"I know Sam, I know," Janet said taking a seat on the bed. "When I talked with Jennifer I asked if she made arrangements for Kira to live with a friend since she has no other family on either parents side. She doesn't even have a friend to take her. If Jennifer dies Kira is going to be placed in foster care and we know how well that works out." She lowered her head. "Since she is one of the good bright kids she will get lost in the system and all the good qualities will start to fade little by little until she isn't the same kid anymore. She doesn't deserve a life like that. I wish there was someone who could take her and save her." Janet started to get up. "I should probably leave you let you get some rest." 

But Sam slid her hand from Janet's and up her arm onto her neck and started to massage the muscles, "What she said isn't true, she does have a friend who would take her in a heartbeat." 

"There isn't," Janet said throwing her hands up and turning to face Sam. "She never made any true friends and nobody she would trust Kira with. She always spent her free time with her daughter so never thought of developing adult friendships." 

Sam smiled and nodded moving her hand to her lover's back, "She has at least one Janet, you. You're her friend and she knows that and Kira does trust you as was proven when she fell asleep in your arms. You know" she said shifting a little, to sit still too long got her stiff, "That you want to offer to take her, I think you should. You've done a marvelous job with Cassie so you can do a marvelous job with Kira." 

"I may have done right by Cassie but that doesn't mean I will do right by Kira," Janet said shaking her head. "I also can't ask that of you especially now. Besides she doesn't even know of our relationship and that would be a big problem." She stopped and shook her head. "No it just wouldn't be a good idea." Janet was trying to find excuses as to why this wouldn't work not because she didn't want the child but this was a huge thing that would affect the lives of several people. 

"First" Sam began licking her lips lightly and rubbed her lovers back, "For me I'd love to have her if and I stress IF something happened but Janet our relationship is just that ours and why I don't think Kira will have anymore problems with it than Cass did it isn't like we have to advertise it tonight. My advice" she said softly, "Talk to her, talk to Jennifer. If she's going to be staying with us a while we can tell her and feel her out but don't shut your mind off on this because I can already see you love her don't you?" 

"She is still just a child Sam," Janet said her eyes starting to tear up. "And to have to deal with something like this. I know its not easy and that bad thing happen to good people. I've seen enough of it but things like these children shouldn't have to go through. Cassie shouldn't have and even you. Its just wrong to put them through so much emotionally." 

"Janet" she said and reached over to pull the woman down so her head was resting on her chest gently, "Honey the cold truth is that Jennifer is sick, she could die and we can't change that. Thinking about giving Kira a safe home, a friend, and a family that will love her isn't bad. It's complicated yes but it isn't bad. Talk to Jennifer, feel her out and then we can decide if and when we talk to Kira" she stated and stroked her lovers hair gently and kissed her head. "I love you Janet and it's going to be all right, I promise you that." 

"We're not going to get out of this one squeaky clean," Janet admitted softly. "There's a cost to be paid. The talk with Jennifer will have to wait. We are transferring her to the Academy Hospital that way Kira has visitation rights plus they have a psych ward. I wouldn't even know how to ask her about any of this anyways." 

"Then I will" Sam stated calmly not letting her lover go. She loved times like this, when she could just hold Janet's body protectively. "As soon as someone makes me tubeless I'll talk to her." 

"You're not ready for that yet and I couldn't ask you to shoulder the responsibility," the soft words broke the silence. "It wouldn't be right with all responsibility you already have." 

"Yes momma and I'm not shouldering it, I'm sharing it," she stated softly. "I mean seriously, you're taking care of Kira and her mother in addition to me and Cassie and the rest of the base so this is just one thing I can do for you." 

There was a long moment of silence neither one speaking just relishing in the comfort of the embrace. Finally it was Janet who broke the calmness. "Is it true? Did the Colonel really kill that man?" Janet asked needing to know. 

"In self defense yes" she answered slowly. "He drew a knife on them when they made him leave me alone Janet." 

"As must as I'm against killing I'm glad he did. I would have killed him myself if I could have. The guys kept asking if he raped you but I wouldn't confirm or deny placing it under patient doctor confidentiality. I just informed them about the internal injuries." 

"But you know Janet" Sam insisted and stroked her hair gently and cleared her throat, "You know he did." 

"I may but they don't. At least not for sure, they have their suspicions but that's all," Janet said thinking back to what that guy did to Sam as a shudder ran through her. 

"Shhh...." Carter whispered feeling the shiver and held on a little tighter. "It's going to be ok Janet, you fixed it and I'll be fine. I have you, that's all that matters." 

Janet only nodded. "Are you sure he only penetrated with his fingers?" 

"Why?" 

"I need to know," she choked out though she wasn't crying her throat was tight with emotion. 

Sighing Sam kissed Janet's head tiredly, "Vaginally yes, apparently he was more an anal man and...." she wasn't aware that she had just admitted to something that Janet hadn't actually checked. 

Janet just buried her face into Sam's shoulder and let the tears silently fall. Crying for what had happened to her lover but also because she didn't completely check, had neglected some of her medical duties. That made her a bad doctor and she wouldn't have it. 

"Janet what" the woman asked holding her lover, "Honey what is it? What's wrong?" she demanded. "Did I do something? Not do something? What?" 

"It's not you Sam," Janet said the tears continuing to fall but her voice as calm as ever. "It's nothing you did. It's me" 

"Janet what are you talking about" she asked stroking the hair a little more forcefully. 

"I was negligent," Janet admitted shamefully. 

"Bull" Sam stated in a determined tone, "You triaged Janet, saved my life before you could worry about something I hadn't even told you about. Besides you can still check right? I can roll over when we are done and you can look." 

"Regardless Sam," Janet said disgusted with herself. "I should have checked. Its my job to check everything." 

"It's your job to save life and incase you didn't know" she said softly and leaned over to kiss her head several times, "I am alive so no harm done. You want to check out the front first" she asked playfully. 

"In a little while," Janet said still not convinced by Sam's words. 

"Ok" she commented and just silently held her lover. She loved her so much it hurt and she wanted to make this better but she knew that Janet needed to wallow a little bit but then she'd be fine and ready for business as usual. The pain in her chest was bad but not bad enough to insist on anything yet and holding Janet was doing a lot to make the pain less. 

Sam had fallen asleep again and Janet detangled herself from her lover's arms. She walked over and pulled on a pair of gloves before returning to Sam. She pulled the blanket down and carefully rolled Sam onto her side as she checked for any tearing or other damage. 

And Sam woke up the minute Janet started feeling around but didn't roll over, "Nice way to wake up" she said tiredly. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you," Janet said not finished yet. She took a cotton swab and collected sample of the area to run tests on for infections. "I was trying not to poke around to hard." 

"That's ok" Carter admitted softly. "How does it look Janet? Oh and please don't say relax when you want to take a look inside ok? I hate how doctors tell you to do that when they go fingering your ass," she admitted, totally uninhibited with Janet. 

"It seems to be a bit raw but I can't tell if there's an infection or not. I have take a cotton swab to be tested," Janet explained what she did. She wanted to keep Sam talking so she didn't tense when she used her finger. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"Not really" she admitted slowly but then sighed and shifted a little feeling Janet's on hand on her side. "I'm ok, I guess I better talk about it but I'm not sure where to start Janet. It all just happened so fast" she admitted. 

"Well the easiest place to start is from the beginning but if you can't talk to me about it that's fine," Janet said keeping the hurt out of her voice. 'Just talk about anything." 

"It was a pretty typical mission, we met the villagers and had a feast" she began calmly but her voice tight. "The next day I went out to collect some flora samples when M'Tarl came up and offered to help. I took him up on it figuring that he could tell me a little about the culture since Daniel seemed so fascinated by it. We had just gotten started when he kept saying things about how pretty I was, how beautiful and I just thanked him...trying to be polite." 

While Sam talked Janet used her finger to probe Sam checking for major tearing or other damage. 

"Mmmm...." the woman winced and tried to pull away as she trailed off talking feeling her lovers clinical finger enter her, "That's a little...OW, tight Janet." 

"Sorry," Janet said and pulled her finger back rubbing her gloved hand across Sam's backside and hip to soothe her. "I'll stop but I want to check the vaginal tearing first." 

"I..." the woman relaxed a little and rolled over onto her back, "Do you have to Janet?" 

'I want to make sure the bleeding has stopped. But if you would prefer it done later I can," Janet said looking at Sam. 

In response Sam swallowed hard and started talking about the rape as she pulled her legs up and opened them for her lover, wincing a little as she pulled the catheter. She knew Janet wouldn't hurt her on purpose and if she wanted to look now she had a reason. 

"Sorry," Janet said as she shifted the catheter a little. She probed around but not applying any pressure. 

"OK," Janet said softly as pulled Sam's legs down letting them rest flatly on the bed. She removed her hands and pulled the gloves of disposing of them. 

Wiping her eyes on the blanket Carter looked over at her lover a little timidly, "Janet don't be sorry for taking care of me" she insisted in a little more her normal voice. "Am I ok? Did you find anything wrong?" 

Coming up to brush the tears from Sam's face. "It's ok. The tears seem to be healing which is a good sign and the bleeding has stopped. You will be really sore for about two to three weeks so no sex for you but other than that there shouldn't be a problem." 

"Oh come on" the woman said with a grin, "No sex, you can't expect me to go a day without..." 

Janet placed her finger over Sam's lips stopping her protest. "Sam I'm serious. You can't as much as I am not thrilled with the idea myself, if you do then all that you would succeed in accomplishing is to cause yourself a lot of pain and reinjure everything." 

Using her tongue the woman pulled Janet's finger into her mouth and sucked on it looking innocent. 

Janet allowed Sam to indulge just a little bit. "But I mean it Sam. Please this is not something you can rush." 

Letting her finger go the blond woman nodded tiredly, "Ok, but in weeks I'm going to have a serious case of sexual frustration Janet and I hope you'll be up to the challenge to help me out." 

"That depends on how good you are," Janet said with a smile as she kissed her lover. "I am going to head out and see Cassie and Kira. I think I need to have a talk with them." 

Leaning up a little Sam whispered something dirty in her lover's ear and then laid back, "The first day I'm without the tube and home that's what you're going to get Janet. Tell the girls I said hi and someone better call and talk to me tomorrow or they're in trouble." 

"Which one would you like to call," Janet asked shaking her head at Sam's comment. "You are hanging around the Colonel to much and picking up on his dirty habits. We are going to have to remedy that." 

"Either one or both" she offered and winked leaning up enough despite the pain to kiss her lover, she ran her tongue through Janet's mouth and then laid back. "See you tomorrow ok Janet?" 

"Of course," Janet said then kissed Sam again. "God these three weeks are going to be hell," she panted as she passionately kissed her again. 

"Oh yeah" Carter mumbled. 

A nurse was waiting for Janet when she came out and took the Major's chart, "Ma'am since you're working at the Academy Hospital tomorrow I went ahead and cancelled the physical you wanted to give me. I know you felt it needed to ASAP but..." 

"It can wait a few days," Janet said handing her Sam's chart. "I am going to head home, page me if I'm needed." Janet headed to her office to grab her stuff and leave. 

Fraiser Residence

Once she got home Janet found the house smelling wonderful and spotless. Cassie was sitting on the couch reading but Kira was nowhere in sight. Looking up the teen smiled and stood up, "Mom" she said hurrying up, "How is Sam? You ok" she asked hugging her. "Ensign Parker just left since you would be home. She said you could call her at home if you needed to" Cassie said in a hurry and took her mom's coat and briefcase after a hug and a kiss. "Love you." 

"I love you too," Janet said grabbing Cassie again and hugging her. "Sam is going to be ok. Was in surgery for six hours but the internal bleeding has stopped." Janet wasn't going to say anything about the rape. IT was something Cassie didn't need to hear about. "Dinner spells wonderful," Janet said taking another sniff. 'Where's Kira?" 

"She would be cooking dinner and you aren't allowed to go in there she said" the girl said pulling her mom toward the sofa. "I cleaned and she asked to cook but hasn't let me in there all day or Ensign Parker. Said she'd handle it all and for me to keep you out of here so how about you help me with English homework then?" 

"You don't need help with English," Janet said giving Cassie a quizzical look. "That's one of the subjects your really good at and besides it's your favorite." She sat back and relaxed a bit. "What is this all about? And what if I wanted something to drink?" 

"Then I'd bring you something Doctor Fraiser" came Kira's voice as she came out wearing a white apron and carrying a wine glass with white wine in it and a bottle of juice for Cassie handing them to her. "Dinner should be ready in about half an hour so I hope you're hungry" Kira offered with a smile. "How is Major Carter and mom?" 

"Both are doing well. It will be a while before Sam can come home but I am heading to the Academy Hospital tomorrow if you would like to come with me and see your mom. She says to tell you hi and that she loves you," Janet relayed. "You don't have to do this Kira. You're a guest of this house so you don't have to cook or clean." 

"I'd like that" she admitted with a blush. "And I know I don't but I only cooked and because I wanted to. Mom taught me how and it's kind of a refuge, I enjoy doing it and always thought about being a chef when I grew up. Anyway enjoy the drinks, I should get back into the kitchen." 

'Thank you Kira," Janet said squeezing her hand as she took the wine. After Kira had left Janet took a sip and turned to face Cassie. "I need to ask you something and you need to answer honestly," Janet said. 

Sipping her juice the girl gave her mother her attention, the English book on the sofa beside her, "And I do actually need help with English, you know I'm no good at diagramming sentences and we have twenty five to do tonight. So what's up mom?" 

"I want you to tell me honestly how you feel if something where to happen to Jennifer Rivers that Kira comes and lives with us?" Janet was nervous about asking Cassie. She wasn't sure why but Cassie grew up as an only child and to suddenly throw another kid into the mix was a lot to handle. 

Cassie was quiet for several minutes, thinking about possibilities and chances and also about what she knew of Kira and her mother. The girl had talked to her most of the afternoon since they were pretty much alone and she knew how frightened she was but looking up to her mom's eyes she offered a smile, "It would be weird for a while mom but when my mom was killed I was hurt like Kira was and likely will be and no one understands more what you can do to make that hurt go away than me so I think it would be ok, I mean weird at first but eventually ok. I always wanted a sister, mom and dad were trying before they were killed," she admitted. 

"This hasn't been discussed with Jennifer or Kira as it's just a thought," Janet said shifting her hands through Cassie's hair. "But I want you to tell me if its something you're not ready for or you think you can't do this ok. You are a big part of this family and have a say." Janet looked at her daughter the love in her eyes. "It is possible to just help her deal with the situation and let another family take her so you can talk to me about this." 

Sitting her juice down Cassandra put her hands on her mom's leg, "Nothing to talk about mom. I don't want her to have to loose her mom but if she does then who better than me you and Sam to help her remember there is life after that. I think you should talk to her, really and to be honest she's already thinking she's loosing her mother." 

"I know she is hun," Janet admitted pulling Cassie into a hug. "And I plan on talking with her but first I have to speak with Jennifer. I don't want to her hopes up about staying her if it's against her mother's wishes." Janet took another sip of her wine. "I plan on speaking to her after dinner." she kissed Cassie's head. "So what are you having problems with in English?" 

Half an hour later Kira came out and found the two young women over an English book with Janet explaining something and she cleared her throat, "If you two are hungry dinner is done." 

"I'm starved" Cassandra admitted and stood up forgetting her homework. "Mom we'll finish after all right? What did you make Kira?" 

"Homemade beef stew with cornbread and chocolate cake for desert and of course salads" the teen answered. "I also made some iced tea if you guys want some." 

"We have a regular little chef in the house," Janet commented standing up. "It sounds wonderful Kira." She moved towards the table after Kira. 

Inside Kira got them both seated and then brought out the food, all home cooked and then took a seat after bringing out various dressings and butter, "I hope you both like it" she admitted timidly. 

"If it tastes anything like it smells I'm sure we will love it," Janet said supporting. She smiled as she saw the food. "You realize there is only the three of us eating?" She joked trying to make Kira comfortable. 

"Oh yes ma'am" she offered with a nod, "But I thought leftovers and after school snacks, it's what I used to use it for when I was home" she admitted. 

"Hey I don't mind taking a beef stew sandwich for lunch" Cassie giggled and started to eat, "Mmmm....delicious Kira." 

"Thanks." 

"This is very good," Janet said after taking a couple of biets. "You would eat anything for lunch as long as it wasn't peanut butter and jelly or tuna." Janet teased Cassie as she continued to eat. 

Kira didn't say much during dinner and after she offered to do the dishes starting to clean up. 

"Kira you don't need to do the dishes. Why don't you just sit and relax a bit," Janet said not wanting the girl to do all the work. "I'll wash the dishes. So how was your guys day today?" 

"I can do it Doctor Fraiser, thanks" she commented disappearing into the kitchen. 

Cassandra stood up and came over to her mom leaning down, "She's scared for her mom. Talk to her, holler and I'll do the dishes before we finish my homework." 

"Thanks Cassie," Janet said rising out of her chair. She walked into the kitchen and found Kira at the sink. She put her arms around the girl and led her back out into the living room to sit on the couch. "It's ok to be scared," Janet said softly trying to break the ice. 

"I..." she paused and sighed, "I really have to finish the dishes ma'am." 

"The dishes are being taken care of. Don't worry about them you did enough by cooking," Janet said softly and placed a hand on the girls shoulder. 

"You're not alone in this and please call me Janet." She offered a warm motherly smile. 

And that's all it took to have her break down in tears, her face buried in her hands and her shoulders shaking "I'm...going...to loose...my mother...alone and I can't...help her. What did I do?" she sobbed, "What did I do to deserve my mother to die?" she demanded. 

Janet gathered Kira in her arms pulling the girl to her. "Oh honey you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes these things happen. No one know why but they do," Janet began rocking the small form. "I can't promise that you aren't going to loose her but I will try everything I can to help try to save her." Janet just let her sob whispering soft words in her ear. "IS there a close friend of your mom's that might be willing to take you?" 

"No....No" Kira insisted as she held onto Janet sobbing. "It's my fault...first my father is killed...because he was taking me to play ball and now my mom. It has to be me." 

"It's not you honey," Janet argued her heart breaking. "It's not you. See I'm still here and not going anywhere." 

"You will" Kira sobbed and wiped her face on Janet's shirt. She started to pull away from her; it wasn't the woman's problem that Kira was worthless. 

"Yeah, I'm going to stay by your side and help you through this. That I can promise," Janet said and flashed a reassuring smile. "And Cassie is here to help as well as Sam when she gets better. She likes you and doesn't want to see you get hurt." 

"How" she demanded looking at Janet then, her eyes red and tear stained. "How are you going to help me when my mother dies? I'll be alone, I doubt I'll even still be in Colorado Springs assuming I'm even alive then." 

"You will still be alive Kira. You have a long beautiful life ahead of you," Janet said staring intently into her eyes while wiping away the tears. "I want you to listen to me. You are a wonderful person and none of this is your fault. You're caring, beautiful and intelligent. There is still so much for you to live for." She pulled her back into a hug relaxing against the back of the coach with Kira by her side. "And I know we can help. I'll let you in on a little secret. Cassie isn't my biological daughter. I adopted her when she was about eleven. See she was alone too, her mother and father as well as all her other family and friends were killed. So she knows what this feels like and with help she made it through. Sam also lost her mother when she was very young so she knows. Between Sam and myself we helped Cassie and now the three of us are here to help you." 

"How" Kira demanded wiping her nose on her sleeve. "How are you going to help me Doctor Fraiser? My mother is dying, you can't change that can you?" 

"I don't know. I'm going to try though," Janet said rubbing her hand and Kira's arm. "But we are here to give you strength and support through this." 

The girl just nodded slowly, she had hoped to have family, someone to go to if the worst had happened. She and her mom had talked about that the last time they saw one another but if or rather when her mom died she'd be alone and there was no changing that, "I'm...I'm going to go change and go for a jog Doctor Fraiser, clear my head a little all right?" 

"Would you like Cassie or myself to join you?" Janet asked afraid to let the girl go alone. 

"I didn't know you jogged" Kira said looking over at the Doctor. "Besides aren't you and Cassie supposed to work on homework?" 

'There is always time for that," Janet answered. "Just let one of us know if you want some company." She waited a few minutes taking a sip of her tea. "Just remember you are not alone Kira and when this is over I'll find you a great family to be with." 

"Thank you ma'am" Kira stated and rose moving toward the stairs to go change for her jog. 

Cassandra came out minutes later and had a towel in her hand, "Mom" she said taking a seat next to her, "You should see this, it was next to the stove folded up" she said handing it to her. 

Once unfolded they saw the blood a lot of it, "Oh god," Janet said instantly dropping the towel and running up the stairs taking them three at a time. "Kira!" she called out panic in her voice. 

"In the bathroom" came the girl's voice as she quickly bandaged her arm and pulled the long sleeve down. "I'm just changing Doctor Fraiser, will be out in a minute." 

Janet didn't wait for Kira to come out she immediately tried the door and found it unlocked. She saw her standing by the sink and that's when the tears started to slowly fall from Janet's eyes. "Kira," she choked out watching her intently. 

"Doctor is something wrong" she asked curiously and stuffed the bandage stuff in her pants pocket while turning around. 

Janet took a step inside the bathroom and closed the door behind her to keep Kira from bolting. "I know what you did in the kitchen." 

"Yeah, I cooked. Most of the afternoon" she admitted slowly and shook her head confused. "I also got a cut on my hand that I bandaged up but beyond that I didn't do anything else. Why?" 

"I know you hurt inside but that's not the answer," Janet continued softly. "Hurting yourself physically is not the answer." She took another step closer and held out her hand. 

The teen shivered but shook her head looking at the hand intently, she didn't know anything, "What do you want Doctor Fraiser?" 

"I want to know why you have deliberately cut yourself?" Janet said her emotions clearly visible, 

"WHAT" Kira demanded angry and shook her head. "Fine, you want to know what I really did Doctor Fraiser, look" she stated and pulled her sleeve up to reveal the bandage and yanked it away to show a blistering burn. "I burned myself and then" she turned her hand over to shot the cut, "That is where the blood on the towel came from; it was done with the paring knife when I cut the meat up for the stew by accident" she said angry, really angry that Fraiser would think like her mother and that she had deliberately done it. "Can I go jogging now?" 

"Kira come here," Janet said softly holding her hand out again. 

Sighing the girl handed her hand to Janet and came over, "What ma'am?" 

Janet gave her a hug. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did but you scared me," she admitted softly. "When things like this happen and you don't tell me I think they are deliberate." Janet's tears were falling more freely. "I had...had a brother that committed suicide and when I'm not told about specific injury that's what I think is going to happen." 

Not even realizing she was doing it Kira soothed her, "It's ok ma'am...I...I just didn't want to bother you and my mom usually takes care of stuff like burns and cuts. Not your fault" she said softly holding Janet and for the first time actually hugged her though only briefly. 

Janet pulled away enough to look at Kira. "Promise me you won't try to kill yourself." Janet requested not wanting this beautiful life to end. 

Sighing the girl looked down, so many thoughts going into her head and around her head but she looked up at Fraiser, "I can't promise I won't think about it but I can promise you I won't do it...at least I don't think I'll do it. Can I go jogging now" she asked and stepped back to roll her sleeve down over the bandage. 

"Let me tend to the burn and cut," Janet said pulling out fresh dressing. "Its ok to think about it during dark times but you are a strong young lady and are better than that. I was reminded by someone of something very important, it takes great strength and courage to admit that you need help to a friend." Janet was applying the last of the bandage on the burn and began pulling the sleeve down. "You are very brave." 

"If I had a friend I'd love to have the help of one" Kira admitted and had to admit that Janet had a light touch, like her mother but she wasn't her mother and she had no right to hope the woman would ever consider staying involved in her life once her mom was gone. "I should go, it's getting late." 

"You do have a friend Kira. Me," Janet told her truthfully. "In fact you have three. Cassie, Sam and myself." 

Sighing the girl leaned back against the sink and crossed her arms, almost like an adult, "I don't want my mom to die Janet" she admitted, not even realizing she had used her first name and she was letting her walls slide down a little. "For a lot of reasons. I love her and I want her here with me but I'm scared for her, for me, what will happen to me when she dies, if she'll die, how we'll face it...just everything." 

"Well how you will face it is easy. You'll do it with the help of friends," Janet said and flashed a smile. "I know you don't want her to die and neither do I but it's a strong possibility that's what is going to happen. But in the case that she does she will always be with you. Maybe not in a physical form you can see and touch but she will always be with you here," Janet said as she moved near Kira and toughed the girl's heart. "As far as what will happen to you when she dies. Well you will have to go into foster care unless we can find a family that is willing to adopt you." Janet smiled warmly. "Any ideas on that front?" 

"Only one but they wouldn't want me," she admitted allowing herself for a whole second to dream it was possible but she knew it wasn't. "I should go, Cassandra is likely waiting for you ma'am." 

"Just don't be out jogging to long," Janet said. "I'm worried about you ok. And you never know you might wind up with a family you like." She moved to the door opening it and walking out. 

"You wouldn't want me" she whispered close to tears and closed her eyes. 

Janet didn't hear Kira's admission as she was already down the hall heading towards Cassie. "You ready to finish your homework?" 

"Sure mom" the girl said and watched Kira come down and leave. "She ok? She didn't tell you did she" Cassandra asked picking up her English book. 

"She didn't tell me what?" Janet questioned not sure if letting Kira leave was such a good idea. 

"That she wanted to live here if something happened to her mom" was the answer as the girl started to flip through the book to the right page. "She told me that you were her best friend and if anything happened to her mom she'd want to stay with you but she knew you wouldn't want that since you already had me." 

"I'm glad she wants to live here. It makes things little easier," Janet said leaning to look at Cassie's book. "Are you sure you would be ok with it?" 

"Yes I'd be fine with it mom" Cassandra said. 

The two were deep into homework when Kira came back tired and sweaty and smiled at them as she headed toward the stairs. 

"Mom are you sure that is an adverb in that sentence? I know what you told me but..." 

"Yes," Janet said kissing Cassie's cheek. "I'll be right back." She headed up the stair to find Kira in the room pulling out a clean pair of clothes. "You can use the dresser if you would like. It's empty," Janet said before entering and sitting on the bed. "You know you can stay here for as long as you want. There is no amount of time limit being placed on my home for you." Janet offered a warm smile. Wanting to make the girl feel comfortable and loved but not wanting to give away a little surprise just yet. That will come later when the time is right. 

Sighing the girl came over, clothes still in hand and sat beside Janet, "I want to believe everything is going to work out, that mom is going to be ok but I just don't think so" she admitted slowly, softly. "You and your home are like a dream, one that I think I'm going to wake up from any minute. When dad was alive" Kira began, "I thought this would be what our lives would be like, a caring home where I would be loved but then it was just mom and me and why I know she loves me it's not the same...you know?" 

"I know," Janet, said rubbing her back. "You know that no matter what happens you are always welcome in my home and that we care about you." Janet sat back a little and sighed. "I don't know if you know this but I need to tell you something important that goes on in this house." 

"No you don't" Kira admitted with a smile, "You mean about you and Major Carter? How you feel about one another, I know already. I'm not as dumb as people pretend Doctor and for what it's worth I'm happy you found someone to love you, I wish I had." 

Janet truly smiled at that. "You're not dumb and don't listen to anyone that ever tells you that. You're a very intelligent individual and someday your will find true love too. It took me a while to find Sam but I did." 

She shrugged not quite believing it, "One can hope I guess. Either way it's none of my business Doctor Fraiser. What goes on between you stays between you, you're good friends from what I've seen" she offered with a smile. "I should get a shower and to bed early if I'm going back to school tomorrow morning I guess. I hope you and Cassie tried the cake." 

"It was very good," Janet said standing to leave. "You're spoiling us with your cooking I hope you know." Janet left the room but before she made it completely through the door she said, "I'll take you both to school in the morning before I head into base." 

"Janet" Kira called from her spot still on the bed, "Can I ask you something?" 

Janet stood in the doorway turning and giving her undivided attention to the girl. "Anything." 

A lot embarrassed Kira looked down and debated about shutting up but she had to know, she would ask her mom the same thing tomorrow, "Do...Is there a chance you love me" she all but whispered. 

Janet moved and now stood before Kira. "Of course I do honey. Just like I love Cassie," Janet admitted and pulled her into a hug. 

Emotions so high Kira hugged her, resting her crying head on the woman's shoulder, "I...I love you too, I think. Weird I know..." she sobbed, "But you're doing so much, trying so hard to make this all right and....well you remind me of my mom." 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Janet said. "Your mother is a wonderful and caring woman and one I am proud to consider a friend." 

Pulling back a little Kira locked eyes with Janet, "Tell me the truth, she's not going to win this battle is she? I'm going to loose her, I know you don't know when but I am going to loose her am I not?" 

"Yes you are honey," Janet admitted sadly. "It may be months or years away, maybe even soon but depending on how well treatment works. Her tumor is inoperable. It's located in the middle of her brain where the brain fluid drains. If it continues to grow it will plug up the passage and the fluid build up will cause your mother to have pressure being placed on her brain." 

Sighing the girl nodded sniffing to keep the snot in her nose from spilling, "She told me" Kira admitted. "She told me I was going to loose her but...I guess I just hoped it wasn't true. Thank you for telling me" she admitted sadly. "I...I should go get my shower." 

"Ok," Janet said. "I'm here if you ever want to talk." Janet pulled away and kissed Kira on the temple before letting the girl go take a shower. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital  
Rivers Recovery Room

The next afternoon Jennifer and Kira had a nice visit, according to Mackenzie she maybe able to be released as early as next week as long as she responded to the medication well. The neurologist wasn't hopeful but he had recommended some options but right now she was sitting still as Janet Fraiser got her vitals, "I really appreciate you looking after Kira Doctor Fraiser. She says you've been really nice, as have your daughter and Major Carter." 

"She is a wonderful and bright young lady. You have done a great job raising her on your own," Janet said finishing with recording Jennifer's vitals. "I do have something I want to talk to you about and I hope you are not offended in any way." 

"I won't," she answered motioning to the bed, "Have a seat ma'am." 

Janet took a seat. "I don't know exactly how to ask this and I have talked about it briefly with my own family," Janet paused trying to figure out how to word this. 

With a smile the woman faced her boss and nodded, "Then let me ask Doctor. When I..." she lowered her head a moment, the emotions hitting her full force, "When I'm gone would you consider taking Kira?" 

Janet smiled at how Jennifer seemed to know what she was getting at. "I would be honored," she admitted continuing to watch Jennifer. 

She just nodded slowly and then broke down in tears, "God I..." she just couldn't go on about how scared she was, how much she didn't want to leave her baby. 

Janet grabbed Jennifer when she started to cry and held her close. It was never easy knowing you were going to die but to leave a child behind with no other family. "Shh," Janet whispered. "I promise I will take real good care of her." She began to cry along with her friend. Minutes passed until a nurse came in and asked Janet if she wanted a sedative for her patient since her emotions were really high. "Please," Janet asked and continued to hold Jennifer until the nurse returned and gave her the syringe. "Hey. I'm going to give you something to sleep but I'll let you say good-bye to Kira first. I'll tell her about where she will live once the paperwork is all taken care of and I'll get that ready for you to sign. OK?" 

Jennifer just nodded and released her hold on Janet so she could get up and give her the injection, "Doctor" she said looked at Fraiser sadly, "I'm...I'm not going to win this battle this time am I?" 

"I don't think so Jen," Janet said sadly tears in her eyes. "But I'm going to fight and get you as much time with your daughter as I can but I need you to fight too." Janet asked the nurse to bring Kira in and Janet gave Jennifer the injection while they waited. "By the time you say goodbye the sedative should be working and it will help you sleep. We'll be by tomorrow to see you." 

Wiping her eyes so she wouldn't cry in front of her daughter Jennifer nodded, "We'll give it one hell of a fight ma'am" she said and saw Kira come in and smiled. "Hey baby, come here" she said opening her arms wide to the girl. 

Kira came over and held onto her mother for dear life. "I love you," she choked out between sobs. 

Janet just stood back out of the way watching the mother daughter moment. 

Stroking her daughter's hair the woman held her tight, "I love you too Kira, remember that no matter what happens but I haven't given up yet" she said kissing the girl's head, her own tears falling. "No matter what you are a strong lady, you make me so proud of you." 

Janet's heart broke at the scene before her. 

"I don't want to loose you mom," Kira balled not wanting to let go. 

"You won't, not in the way that matters and someone..." she turned to look at Fraiser, "Someone will be there to love you in the ways I can't but I'm always going to be watching over you baby, always" she said hugging her tightly and felt herself getting tired. "Kira I need you to go with Doctor Fraiser, let her give you something tonight to help you sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping and I'll see you tomorrow; we can study for that science test all right?" 

Kira nodded. "I love you," she said giving her mother a kiss and she moved away and towards Janet. 

"I'll bring her by tomorrow after school Jennifer," Janet promised. 

"Don't let her forget her science book" the woman said and smiled meeting her daughter's eyes. "I haven't given up yet Kira, now go on. I'm going to get some rest. I love you baby." 

"Ok mom," Kira said and opened the door heading out. 

Janet turned back to Jennifer and nodded. "I'll have all the forms sent over later for you to sign." Then she too headed out the door. 

Enroute To Fraiser Residence

They headed back to the house and the ride was quiet Janet not sure what to say. So instead she reached over and took Kira's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. 

"I don't want to loose her" Kira whispered as she squeezed Janet's hand back. 

Janet pulled Kira's hand towards her and kissed the back of it. "I know honey." 

They continued the rest of the way in silence. "I am going to drop you off at home and then head over and see to Sam. Maybe with any luck she will be ready to come home. You can either eat what is there or I can cook when I get back or stop and pick something up. If you and Cassie want me to pick something up just call my cell." 

"I'll...start dinner" she said closing her eyes and lowered her head sadly. 

"You don't have to do that," Janet said glancing over. "Are you ok?" 

"Yes I'm..." Kira then stopped and opened her eyes laying her head back tiredly. "It hurts so much...it feels like someone is cutting my heart out and I can't do anything to stop it. Why couldn't it have been me instead of her?" 

"Don't say that Kira," Janet said softly. "Please. Your mother has lived a great life and has done a lot of good during that time. Now its time for you to say good bye and live yours." 

"I don't want to say good bye," she snapped as the car stopped and she silently started to get out. 

Fraiser Residence

"Kira I...," she started but let the sentence die. "Tell Cassie I will be back in a few hours and call if you need anything. Even if it is to talk Kira I mean it just call." Before she started to back up again she spoke. "Talk to Cassie. She knows what it is like to loose a mother and not have anyone. I love you both and I'll see you soon." Janet headed back to the base to check on Sam. 

SGC Complex  
Infirmary

It was a happy Sam Carter who greeted Janet as she looked up from the chess game that Daniel was winning, "If I'm ever bored again remind me not to teach Daniel how to play chess" she said studying the board. 

"Well since you already taught him next time you're bored that step could be skipped and you could go straight to loosing," Janet said jokingly and gave Sam a quick kiss. "How are you feeling today?" 

"Ready to become tubeless and if you could tell your staff to keep their fingers to..." 

"OK" Daniel said happily and stood up, "Sam I'll conceit this game and go work in the lab. See you later, bye Janet" he said and took off quickly. 

"Now that's odd," Sam stated shaking her head. "Anyway how are you Janet?" 

Janet was laughing at Daniel. "Ok I think. I had a talk with Kira and a nice talk with Jennifer today." Janet took a seat by Sam on the bed while thumbing through her chart. 

"And" she said putting a hand tiredly on Janet's back, "Are you going to tell me or do I have to tickle you Doctor cutie?" 

"No I'll tell," Janet said with a smile. "But there's something I want first." She leaned over and stole another kiss. "Well I talked to Jennifer about taking Kira. She was happy given the circumstances and I have already sent the paper work over for her to sign. Are you sure this is the thing to do?" 

"Ask yourself the same question that I asked you when you wanted Cassie" Carter encouraged, "Do you love her Janet? Only you know that." 

"No," Janet said without clarifying her answer just looking at Sam. 

That shocked Sam and she was quiet for several minutes, "You...you don't" she finally whispered. 

"What?" Janet asked puzzled not really paying close attention to their conversation. 

Rubbing her lovers back the woman was confused, "Janet I asked you if you loved her and you said no. Why?" 

"No," Janet said and laughed. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant no as in I'm not the only one that knows. I have told Kira the answer to that question and I think you already know it." 

"Oh" Sam answered laughing and leaned up kissing Janet's back. "Then the answer to your question is yes. Now about this tube..." 

"Let me see if it's ok to take it out," Janet said moving to the foot of the bed. "Well I have some good new and some bad news." 

Glancing down the bed to her doctor and lover who was between her upraised knees Sam Carter smiled, "Well good news first." 

"You have a beautiful woman that loves you and your getting a new addition to your little family..." Janet said smiling. "The bad news is your stick with the tube." 

Sighing Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose "I'm happy about the first one and the second one I'm...OW" she hollered her eyes popping open, "Let me guess, you gotta feel around right?" 

"No I just removed the tube," Janet said with a heart-warming smile that would brighten up any room. 

And in response Carter gave a loud, "WAHOO" that would have made half the Infirmary and the base shocked. "Can I do a cartwheel?" 

"No," Janet laughed. "And if you don't behave you're not going home either." Janet finished up taking care of Sam and cleaning what needed to be done. 

"Home? I can go home" she asked sitting up quickly and winced, the stitches objecting but she didn't care. "I can really go home? Really? You aren't kidding...because if you're kidding..." 

"Well it depends on one factor," Janet said. "Whether or not you plan on being a good girl and doing what your doctor says." 

"I better" she joked, "I have plans for her hands tonight. Now get my clothes." 

"Easy there Sam," Janet cautioned. "If you move to fast you're going to pull your stitches and wind up right back here." 

"Yeah, I promise to be careful" she answered as SG-1 came in for a visit, "Hey guys, I get to go home." 

"OH so not fair Carter" her CO stated, "The last time I had surgery the Doc kept me for three days but I think she just likes to torture me." 

"That and you don't live with a doctor Sir," Janet said with a smile. "See this way I can keep an eye on Sam twenty-four hours a day." 

"You shouldn't pick on your XO Sir or else I may tell her about that flu shot you never got or the time you cut your foot and tried to do your own stitches and then..." 

"CARTER" O'Neil stated and rolled his eyes, "Catch you later" and turned to go. 

Daniel and Teal'c raised eyebrows and looked at one another before they started counting from five and got to four when they heard it. 

"Colonel get you butt back here," Janet yelled. "You have an appointment with a very large needle now." 

"AW DOC" the man began and felt her come over and grab his arm pulling him toward a bed and then heard the curtain yank around, secluding them, "Doc come on, you don't wanna stick no needle in my butt. I got enough holes..." 

"Sorry Sir" Carter yelled. 

"SHUT UP CARTER! This is all your fault," the Colonel hollered back. 

"You get an extra cup of jello for desert tonight Sam," Janet hollered as she tapped the needle and stuck it in the colonel. 

"GEEZ DOC" O'Neil hollered as he pounded the gurney. 

By the time they came back Sam was dressed with the help of a nurse and had her bag of medications and bandages on the bed beside her. She tried to look sad when O'Neil came trailing behind Fraiser rubbing his butt, "Sorry Sir." 

"NO you aren't Carter" he snapped and looked at Jackson and Teal'c, "Some friends you two are." 

"We know better than to lie to Janet" Daniel offered with a smile and nodded, "Good job Janet." 

"Thank you Daniel," Janet said with a smile. "I'll be gentle on your next shot." 

"You're always gentle Janet" the archaeologist offered. 

Still rubbing his butt through his uniform Jack O'Neil made a face, "You're just sucking up Daniel." 

"She doesn't do DRE's on me every month does she Jack" he asked with a triumphant grin. 

"Me either Sir" Carter offered. 

"Nor me O'Neil" Teal'c chimed in. 

"DOC" the Colonel demanded and looked at her, "What's the big idea? This butt isn't for you ya know?" 

"I know," Janet, said triumphantly. "I have my own cute little butt here," she said slapping Sam slightly and flashing a smile. 

"Oh that's it" the man answered, "They are hitting on one another, we're out of here. Carter, Doc next weekend a barbecue at my place; I'll let you know the time. Come on guys" he said. 

After everyone left Sam handed the medications to Janet and stood up, "The General 'yelled' at me for going outside medical SOP already and said you put me on a week downtime so let's go home." 

"I know I was informed of his decision," Janet smiled. "Let's get you home and comfortable." They headed topside to Janet's car. 

Fraiser Residence

The two women arrived home and Cassandra met them in the garage, hugging Sam as tightly as she could without hurting her and started to help her in the house. When they entered the kitchen they were assaulted with the smell of lasagna and garlic bread and Kira's back at the stove as she stirred a pot, "Kira look whose home?" 

Turning slightly the girl nodded and wiped her hands on her apron coming up to hug Sam, "Glad to see you're feeling better Major Carter." 

"It's Sam and thank you Kira," she offered. "Janet I'm going to go sit in the living room with the teen terror while you deal with the pre teen terror." 

"I'm fine, dinner should be done soon" Kira stated, "There is fresh lemonade in the refrigerator, one of your neighbors picked them up at the store for me Doctor Fraiser." 

"Thank you Kira," Janet said walking up to her and giving her a hug then kissing her temple. "Let me know if you need some help. And how is the burn feeling? Have you put stuff on it and bandaged it like I showed you?" Janet went into the cupboard pulling out two glasses and pouring herself and Sam some lemonade. 

"Yes ma'am, a little over an hour ago" she answered and got some sauce on the spoon blowing on it. "Taste this ma'am and tell me if it needs anything," she said offering the spoon carefully to Janet and saw Sam and Cassie heading out. 

"Little oregano should do the trick I think and I told you before its Janet," she said placing a hand on Kira's shoulder squeezing it. "If there's anything you need, what ever it may be let me know." She grabbed the two glasses and headed for the door. 

Forty minutes later Kira started carrying tray tables out to the living room and putting them in front of people, they had salads, lasagna and fresh garlic bread with three different types of cheeses melted on them in addition to non alcoholic wine for Janet and Sam and kool-aid for Cassie and Kira, "Please enjoy" the girl told them heading back to the kitchen. 

A bit shocked Sam looked over at Fraiser "She cooks?" 

"And it tastes wonderful, you should have seen what she made last night Sam" Cassandra offered with a smile. 

"She wants to be a chef someday," Janet said. "I personally think she could do it in a heartbeat." She waited until Kira came back but she didn't. "Kira?" 

But Kira had gone out the garage door and was sitting on the front steps watching across the street. A man was pushing his son on a bike and laughing and at the house next to that one was a woman chasing after a little girl who was gigging. Sighing she pulled her legs up and rested her head on her knees just watching. 

"Janet do you want me to look for her" Sam asked. 

Cassie mumbled with her mouth full. 

"No I think this is something I need to do," Janet slightly smiled and stood up heading for the kitchen when she noticed the door leading to the garage open. She headed through and saw Kira sitting on the steps. She went over to her and sat behind her pulling Kira into her body. "What's wrong?" 

"Just tired I guess" she admitted slowly. "You should go eat, lasagna is terrible cold ma'am." 

"I would rather be here," Janet said. 'You want to talk to me?" 

"I..." Kira trailed off and watched the street, "I think this is something I have to work out myself. I just need some time alone, I'm ok...really. Go eat your dinner ma'am." 

"I found out something really interesting today," Janet tried to get Kira to open up. "And please don't call me ma'am or doctor. Janet or Jan." 

"What did you find out Janet?" 

"I had a talk with your mom while you were out of the room. We talked quiet a bit about you and how proud she is of you," Janet stated. "But we also got to talking about what will happen when she dies and who your family will be that is as soon as she signs some papers oking it in the case of her death." 

"What choice is there?" Kira admitted sadly. "There are no family, no friends so that means unless I go when mom does some foster home gets me." 

"No that's not the case," Janet said calmly. "A wonderful family is going to adopt you and take really good care of you. And I know for a fact that you are going to love them. Plus you will still be in Colorado this very city so you can see me whenever you want." She paused a moment enjoying this feeling. "Would you like to meet them?" 

"Yeah I guess," she admitted, not quite believing it. 

"Come on then let's go inside while I arrange the meeting. Eat a little something while you wait," Janet said kissing Kira's cheek. 

Kira headed into the kitchen to eat while Janet and Cassie cleared their dishes out of the living room. She had Sam and Cassie sit on the couch and wait. "Ready to meet them? They just arrived." 

"Sure" she said sadly and wiped her mouth standing up and shrugged. "I guess." 

"Well they are sitting in the living room so let's go out there and join them. I have told them a lot about you and they are excited and really happy they get to meet you finally." Janet led the way with Kira right behind her. "Well this will be your new family." 

Stopping Kira stared at Cassandra and Sam who were all smiles and sighed, "I...I don't understand." 

"What's there to not understand?" Janet asked moving to between Sam and Cassie. 

Before Kira could respond Sam stood up and moved toward her, "Kira I know how hard this is, I know what you're feeling. I lost my mom when I was a lot younger than you but two things you need to remember" she said putting a hand on her shoulder. "One, you haven't lost your mom yet and there is a chance, a small chance, but a chance that you won't and two you have all of us loving you and we are going to be right there, whether you want us to or not." 

The girl studied her a moment and then nodded but moved to go past Sam and knelt down in front of Janet and buried her head in the woman's lap, "Thank you" she whispered through the tears. 

Janet leaned forward and in a way hugged Kira. "Shh. It's ok," Janet said through her own tears. "See I told you that you will be able to see me whenever you wanted to and that you would like your new family." She continued to rub Kira's back while she cried. 

Raising her hand Sam motioned Cassie away and walked over to Janet and leaned down, "Kiss her, like you do Cassie" she said and nodded stepping back. 

Janet did just that leaned forward and kissed Kira's head as she ran her hand over her hair. And quietly she began to sing softly but with each line her voice getting stronger with confidence. 

"Sam what's going on" Cassandra whispered. 

"Watch" Sam answered and nodded. 

Slowly Kira used her feet and stood up sitting beside Janet, literally crawling into her arms as she cried and clung to her. Catching her lover's eyes the woman nodded and mouthed they'd be out back and steered Cassie that way. "I saw you and your mom do that shortly after you came here to live with her. It's something that I can't explain, something a child feels with Janet I guess Cass." 

Janet continued to hold Kira and softly sing. It seemed like forever but halfway through the song Janet noticed she had stopped crying and had fallen asleep. She continued to sing and sooth her through her sleep. 

"I. I don't remember doing that," Cassie said as they took a seat out back. 

"You did it twice actually," Sam said sitting down gently beside Cassandra. "The first time after coming back to the Infirmary you did it. At first I thought maybe you thought Janet was me in the middle of the night but then here..." she shrugged. 

"Really?" Cassie asked puzzled. "I don't remember doing that but I wish I did." After a few moments she spoke again. "Is everything going to be all right? With Kira I mean." 

Glancing back toward the house Sam smiled, "Yeah...yeah it is Cassie. Your mom is a special lady and she's got her now so she's ok or will be." 

"I'm glad," Cassie admitted. "I like Kira and I don't want anything bad to happen to her." 

That night after homework and Sam taking a nap the two adults were on the sofa with Cassie between them watching a movie but Kira had gone to clean up the kitchen. The movie was just about a quarter over when the twelve year old girl came in and instead of going to sit on the sofa went to sit in the floor and watch the TV. 

Sam and Cassandra glanced over but Carter leaned over gently and whispered, "Go sit with her, don't say anything and just sit with her. Trust me" and then she went back to holding Cassie against her. 

Janet moved and sat on the floor next to Kira and in front of Sam. She didn't say a word just quietly moved. 

In response Kira scooted over and laid her head against Fraiser, not even realizing she had done it and resumed watching TV though now she was laughing once in a while and she had carefully laid her hand in one of Janet's latching onto it tightly. 

Janet sat there letting Kira set the boundaries. She just put an arm around the girl's waist when she rested her head on her shoulder. They sat as a family watching the TV laughing and occasionally talking. Janet reached over and squeezed Cassie's leg letting her know that she hasn't forgotten her daughter. 

After getting a nod from Carter and a smile Cassandra slid down and crawled over sitting on her mother's other side and mirroring Kira's movements only she snuggled a little closer resting her head on her mom's other shoulder. 

Sam watched her family and nodded before leaning down and kissing the woman's head and then resumed watching the movie. 

Janet looked up at Sam. "I think someone is getting left out here," she said with a smile and scooted forward so Sam could sit behind her. 

"I have a better idea" Sam said and slowly climbed in the floor on Kira's side and smiled laying sideways with her head right in Janet's lap, "Much better" and she felt Kira slid her free hand over Sam's waist 

"That's not fair," Janet pouted. "I wanted a pillow." 

"Sure mom" Kira said quickly and didn't even pay attention to what she said as she sat up and then got up before running upstairs and came back with a pillow from the bed and put it behind Janet's head and back and then resumed her spot like she had been before. 

"That's not exactly what I meant," Janet said still pouting. "But thank you honey." She kissed Kira's head smiling at the fact she called her mom. 

After the movie ended Sam sat up and then stood up smiling, "You have a problem Doctor," she said softly and with a smile, "They're asleep, both of them." 

"So are my shoulders," Janet deadpanned. She took the hand wrapped around each girl's waist and began to tickle her trying to wake her up. 

Cassie woke up immediately and sat up rubbing her eyes, "Mom I was sleeping." 

Kira sat up then and rubbed her face, "So was I...what's the big idea?" 

"It's time for bed you two," Janet said now poking them in the side. "And my shoulders have also fallen asleep thanks to you guys. Now scoot." Janet started to get up. 

"But mom" Cassie started to complain. 

Kira just nodded slowly and leaned over kissing Fraiser's cheek and then hugged Sam, "I'm going to get a glass of juice, night" and headed out. 

"HEY" Cassie called, "You're supposed to help me fight bedtimes, are you listening to me?" "Why can't you be more like that Cassie," Janet joked. "You were sound asleep and if you were in bed you would feel even better on a nice soft mattress with a nice soft pillow and lots of nice warm blankets to pull around you." Janet just laughed at the face both Cassie and Sam were making. 

"But..." Cassandra began. 

Kira came to the door with a bottle of juice, "Janet would you tuck me in please" she asked. 

"Hey why not me" Sam hollered over with a curious look. 

"Because you're injured Major Carter and I'm sure Doctor Fraiser wants you in bed too" she answered. 

"Oh man, someone who actually listens to mom" Cass said sadly, "Kira you are destroying all the work my whining has done." 

"You shouldn't whine at your mother," she answered. 

Janet laughed at Kira's antics. "A daughter after my own heart. You can sleep there if you want but you're not being carried up to bed. I can't do it anymore and Sam is hurt so she can't. You sleep where you fall." She began heading up the stair. "I'll come and tuck everyone that's in bed after I change." 

With that Sam was the first one to reach the stairs and start heading to bed. 

Kira and Cassie had both changed though Kira grabbed a fast shower and was still towel drying her hair when she saw Janet knock and she waved her in, "Just drying my hair Janet. I'm sorry I made you sit in the floor down there," she admitted. "It's just..." she let her hands drop from the towel covering her head, "I guess I feel guilty, everything is working out so well and it just seems like I'm waiting for mom to die or even that I want her to when I don't." 

"Kira you mom understands and wants you to be here," Janet said moving towards the bed. "But when she get to go home you get to go with her and take care of her. Ok?" Janet waited for Kira to crawl into bed before tucking her in. She kissed the girl on the forehead whishing her goodnight. 

"Janet" she called out and sat up in the dark a little, "Do you think mom would mind if I told you something?" 

"No I don't think she would at all," Janet said taking a seat on the edge of the bed wiping a few stray bangs back out of Kira's eyes. 

Lowering her dark head a moment she licked her lips and then looked up, "I love you" she whispered and then hugged Janet burying her face into her shoulder. 

"I love you to honey," Janet said hugging the girl. "You do know its ok to love more than just your mom." 

"Never had anyone other than mom to love before" she admitted and let Janet get her tucked back in. "Thank you." 

"Just trust me on it being ok then," Janet said rising. "After all I love you and Cassie and especially Sam. The human heart is capable of so much love if you let it. Now get some sleep." She kissed her forehead before heading into Cassie's room. "Hey baby how are you?" 

"I am not going to say tired no matter how much you bribe me mom" Cassandra said smiling as she sat in the center of her bed. "Kira is opening up to you it looks like. Sam said I was the same way when I came here but I don't remember that mom. Did I act a lot like Kira?" 

"Yes you did honey," Janet said sitting on the bed. "At first I was so afraid because you wanted nothing to do with me. You only had eyes for Sam but after a while I guess you warmed up to me." Janet smiled remembering when she first had Cassie. "After when you moved in here you would wake up in the middle of the night from your nightmares and I would come and hold you and sing you back to sleep. Staying with you through the night so you would feel better." Janet ran her fingers through some of the bangs that hung by Cassie's temple and smiled. 

Smiling the teen nodded, she and her mother fought a lot but that was mainly hormones or so she had been told but in this instance she leaned up and hugged her mom, "I'm glad you're my mom, I love you" she said holding her tightly. 

"I love you too Cassie and I wouldn't change that for the world," Janet said. "Its going to get a little tough around here with Kira as part of our family and she is going to get a lot of attention to help her deal. But that doesn't mean we love you, that I love you any less. Ok?" 

"I know" she said pulling back, "And I'm proud of you mom that you want to help her; like you helped me. Love you but I believe you came in here to tuck me in so..." she held out her arms with a smile, "Start tucking mom." 

Janet pulled back the blankets as Cassie crawled in. She pulled them around her daughter and leaned over kissing her forehead. "I love you very much." 

"Love you too mom" she said and rolled over to go to sleep, "Night" was the mumbled reply. 

After getting the kids tucked into bed Sam Carter started nibbling at Janet's neck, "God I've missed you" she said pushing them back onto the bed and used her knees to carefully force Janet's legs open even though she was clothed and climbed on top of her kissing her then, forcing her tongue into her mouth and moving it around, "Mmmm....Mmmm" she said running her hands through Janet's hair and pressed her tongue farther into her lovers mouth. 

Janet wrapped her arms around Sam's neck pulling her closer and deepening the kiss as she arched up putting more pressure on her center with Sam's thigh. 

Finally breaking the kiss the blond woman buried her head in the nape of her lovers neck and started to lick behind her ear, letting her hands start to unbutton Janet's pajama top, "I want you Janet...I want to take you so bad." 

"Sam we can't," Janet tried to protest but couldn't find a reason other than she was injured. "You're still hurt. You can't." 

"Uh, uh" Sam protested as she sat up straddling her lover and finished unbuttoning her shirt, "You said I couldn't have sex, you didn't say I couldn't give you pleasure Janet and I fully intend to" she said leaning up to kiss her again as she slid her hands behind her lover to unhook her bra, "You're so beautiful." 

"Sam stop," Janet tried to persist. "I can't let you I might try and hurt you. No." 

Sitting back Sam met her lovers eyes and rolled off her, ignoring the wince and picked up a pillow, "I'll sleep on the sofa tonight Janet" she offered and stood up to move toward the door. 

"Sam please stop," Janet said. 'Why are you doing this? Why are you leaving?" She already had tears forming. 

Stopping the woman turned to face her, her own tears evident, "You don't understand Janet. I need this, I needed to do this in order to remind myself I'm not dirty and worthless like that monster kept telling me. But I won't" she insisted grinding her teeth, "Force you and you said stop. I'm leaving because if I stay I don't know that I can control myself enough to stop and I don't ever want to hurt you. I'm sorry, I'll be downstairs" and she left the bedroom and went downstairs to sit on the sofa in the darkness; her mind filled with what that son of a bitch had done...how much he had stolen now. 

Janet didn't realize the reason Sam needed this until she told her. She buttoned her shirt and headed downstairs kneeling before Sam. Janet didn't hold back her tears just let them fall. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't know," Janet, said cupping Sam's face and kissing her passionately. "Please come back to bed?" 

Staring into her lover's eyes Sam raised her hand and slid it behind her head and rubbed her neck, "I love you Janet, more than life itself and my own stupidity I damn near lost that. I...I just wanted to show you...how much I love you" she said softly and leaned down resting her head on the woman's shoulder. "I tried to make him stop Janet but he wouldn't...I begged him not to and he...he just said I was a worthless woman who didn't know what I wanted." 

"Your never worthless to me," Janet got out through the tightness in her throat. She stood rising and pulling Sam up with her. "Show me," she whispered. 

Clearing her throat gently the woman looked at her, "I...I know you don't want me hurt. Just let me hold you...while we sleep, please?" 

"Any thing my love," Janet whispered. "I love you." And she led them both up the stair into their bedroom. When Sam finally entered Janet shut the door and locked it so the girls didn't walk in on anything. "Show me," she whispered seductively by Sam's ear as she nipped at it. 

"Janet" she whispered wrapping her arms around her lover after tossing the pillow back on the bed, "Are you sure? I don't want you doing this because you feel sorry for me sweetheart." 

"That's not the reason Sam,' Janet stated. "I was afraid that I couldn't control myself and even though you may want it I would be forcing your body to do something that is isn't ready for." She kissed Sam again. "I guess I'm still afraid of doing that." She began to slowly move them towards the bed. 

Falling back on the bed she pulled Janet with her and top of her, "I'm...content to just hold you as you sleep baby. Whatever you want to do I'm all for all right?" 

Janet began to kiss her way from Sam's ear down her throat where she stopped and started to suck on a very sensitive spot. 

It wasn't more than minutes before both women were naked and Janet was still on top of Sam who was rubbing the small woman's butt cheeks as she felt her lovers juices dripping on her belly, "I love you so very much" she stated in a sultry, sexy voice as she leaned up to kiss her lovers belly button and slid her tongue in and out tickling her. 

Janet lay so she was on top of Sam partially and on top of the bed partially but still able to kiss Sam passionately. Needing more pressure more contact she rolled them both over so Sam was on top of her and released Sam's mouth latching onto her neck. "Need you," she panted wanting and needing Sam's touch. 

Within seconds Sam had spread her lovers legs and had her tongue running up and down her slick slit as she rubbed one hand on her beautiful, tanned and taunt stomach; occasionally trailing up to pinch her breasts tenderly and then rub a nipple. 

Janet arched into Sam's body trying to increase the contact. Wanting more. "Sam please," she begged not wanting to be teased anymore. 

At the same time Sam pinched her lovers nipple hard she pushed her tongue into her, sliding it around and swallowing the very essence of her lover. 

"More," Janet gasped as she moved her hips in time with each thrust of Sam's tongue letting her hands find their way into her lovers' hair. 

Suddenly Sam had an idea and pulled her face out of her lover's crotch and crawled, kissing her way up her body until she had her lips pressed to Janet's passionately. Unknown to the woman she slid her hand over onto the nightstand and buried two of her fingers in the glass of ice water there, feeling them getting colder by the second. 

Janet continued to kiss Sam letting her tongue enter her lovers mouth and dueling with its counterpart. Her hands wouldn't be caught idol as they roamed across heated flesh. 

Feeling a piece of ice dancing over her fingers Sam scooped it up with a smile, "Mmmm...." she mumbled as she put her hand under her body and between Janet's legs. She could feel the heat from her lovers sex and then just as she pushed Janet's tongue aside with her own and she pushed her tongue down her lovers throat at the same time she slid two icy cold finger with the ice cube piece on them into her vagina and immediately felt the muscles clench. 

"Ahh," Janet gasped as her body immediately reacted to the cold intrusion. She arched trying get Sam's fingers further inside her. 

Pulling her hand out a little Sam smiled as she sat up and straddled her lover, "I want you so much" she said softly and used her free hand to rub her lovers tits as she shoved hard her two cold fingers back into Janet and felt her arch under her. She could feel she was close to coming and the panting was a sign. 

Janet had closed her eyes and her breathing was coming in harsher pants as she rubbed her hand's up Sam's thighs to cup her ass. 

Sliding her ass back so Janet could go inside if she wanted to Sam nuzzled her lovers neck, started to lick her ear as she pushed her fingers in and out faster and faster, "Come...baby...come on for me..." 

"Sa-am," Janet gasped out as she came her muscles clenching hard around Sam's fingers as she rode her orgasm. 

After licking her fingers dry Carter rolled off her lover but kept one hand on her breast, "God baby...you're incredible" she stated kissing Janet's arm tenderly. 

Her breathing returning to normal Janet kissed Sam's neck then her shoulder and finally her color bones. She let her hands slide down to play with full breasts and her mouth followed there journey stopping at the swell of one breast to suck leaving a mark. Telling the world that Sam was hers and only hers. She wasn't aware of her actions driven by lust and arousal. 

Arching up at first to her lovers touch Sam wanted to let her go farther but a part of her mind knew...she knew that if Janet hurt her, no matter how unintentionally she'd never forgive herself so she slowly pushed the woman off her, "Janet we can't..." she whispered and rolled onto her side, throwing one arm over her lover. "You said I'd be hurt if we did." 

Janet nodded her mind focusing through the arousal. "I wish I could," Janet said softly. "Get some sleep Sam you need to rest." She laid there watching waiting for Sam to fall asleep and when she had she carefully slid out of bed pulling on her rob and going into their bathroom. She closed the door behind her and sat in the dark silently crying. She almost hurt Sam and that made her no better than the man who to raped her. The next morning Janet got up to go make coffee and breakfast for her family only to find the kitchen already active at 6:30 with Kira who was showered, dressed and cooking. A full pot of coffee was already made and waiting. Kira was cutting up red and green peppers with onions. Janet walked up to Kira and kissed her cheek. "Morning and what is this you are making?" She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup of coffee. 

"Good morning" she told the woman with a smile. "Omelets actually, I haven't decided on their nationality yet but if you can find me a spare pitcher somewhere we'll have fresh squeezed juice too. Oh and I won't be home until after six tonight either" she told her. 

"Ok you have plans?" Janet asked like any mother would. She found a pitcher and placed it on the counter. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked taking another sip of coffee. 

"No I got it" she said taking the pitcher and started to wash it. "Not plans exactly, I have an after school job at Marions restaurant three days a week and two weekends a month. I had forgotten that I had to work today and I called and left a message for mom and told her I'd visit after I got off." 

"Ok," Janet said. "Do you need a ride or anything?" 

"No I usually jog from school, it's good exercise" she said and went to get the fruit she wanted to make the juice. A part of her was grateful that Janet hadn't asked why she was up more than an hour and a half before she had to be for school. 

After her third cup of coffee Janet realized that no one else was up and glanced at the clock. "Kira how come you're up so early?" She asked worried about her. 

Having finished the juice the girl put it in the refrigerator, "I had a belly ache, and it woke me up about five or so. The paper is on the table by the way" she said and went back to chop up some more food for the omelets. 

"Kira is everything all right?" Janet asked going on instinct since something seemed to be wrong. 

"I'm sure it's fine" she offered gently and paused to wipe her head before going on cooking. "Just a stomach ache, I get them all the time Janet." 

"Have you had tests run for why you get them?" Janet pushed more. She was going to have to speak with Jennifer about this. 

"Mom said she never could find a doctor to do it" she offered with a shrug and went to the stove with the bowls of ingredients. "How long do you figure until Major Carter and Cassandra are up? And do you figure you all want toast with these omelets or not?" 

"Sam will probably want toast but Cassie won't," Janet said off handedly. "I want to take you in this week and run some tests then maybe see what is causing it." Janet was a little worried about what could be affecting the girl's stomach. 

"What kinds of tests" Kira asked going to pour her some juice. "Do you want toast?" 

"No thank you," Janet said politely. "I would like to do an ultrasound, take some x-rays and blood work for starters. Then we'll see where to go once I see those results. Why?" Janet asked a little curious Kira seemed nervous for some reason. 

"Just nervous around people wanting to stick me with needles and stuff, usually avoid it if at all possible" she offered and took her juice to sit down. It would only take a few minutes after everyone got up to make the food, "Let me know when you're hungry and I'll make your omelet." 

"Ok," Janet said. 'I'll be the one doing all the tests so there is nothing to worry about. I promise to be gentle." 

"I'd really rather skip it if you don't mind Janet" Kira stated and sipped her juice slowly. "Not that I don't trust you but well just a thing about medical situations where I'm the patient." 

"We'll work something out but I think you should get tested. Something serious could be wrong." 

Just as Janet finished her sentence Sam and Cassie came in groggily still trying to wake up, after making all three of them breakfast Kira excused herself and went upstairs to get ready for school, she wanted to jog in today and was leaving early. 

Cassie was just about finished but since Sam just had to recover around the house she was slower and saw Janet finishing up, "Janet you ok? You seem distracted?" 

"I'm a bit worried I guess," Janet admitted drinking more of her coffee. 

"About" Sam asked raising an eyebrow as she took a bite of her omelet. "That girl has real talent though we really shouldn't be letting her do all the cooking." 

"But she does it so well Sam" Cassie complained and then took her plate into the kitchen and came back, "I'm going to grab a shower. Bye" and raced up the stairs. 

"I'm worried about Kira," Janet sighed. "She said she was up early with a stomach ache and when I asked about it she said she always has them. I question more like if she has seen a doctor but she insists that it is nothing that she doesn't like doctors. I don't know if she is telling me the truth or if its because of something she took." Janet moved to pour herself another cup of coffee. 

"Why don't you take her in with you today for a check up? Your morning is spent at the hospital before the base right" her lover asked and took a bite of toast before drinking some juice and then coffee. "I can drive her to school after if she's ok." 

"I won't force it on her today. I want to talk with Jennifer and find out if this is normal or something new," Janet admitted. She put her plate in the sink and finished her cup of coffee before pouring herself another one. She was going to need a lot of coffee if she planned on making it through the day. She really didn't sleep last night after Sam made love to her and she tried to return the favor almost hurting Sam. She wound up spending the entire night sitting in the dark bathroom afraid that she would hurt Sam more than what was already done. She headed to the room with her fresh mug of coffee and sat on the edge of the bed. 

Finishing her breakfast Sam came after her lover with her own mug of coffee and sat on the bed sitting the coffee on the floor, "Why didn't you come back to bed last night" she asked slowly keeping her head down and smiled when she heard the gasp. "Don't be so shocked, I went to snuggle up to you and you weren't there." 

"I couldn't," was the only answer Janet gave and began to stand up. 

"And I know why" Sam insisted and reached out holding her down. "Janet you didn't want to do it last night because you were afraid that would happen. I would have let you only I knew if I did you'd be guilty so you didn't hurt me and I wanted last night to happen. Ok?" 

Janet pulled away and walked over to the window wrapping her arms around herself. She stared out the window trying to find the words to say what she was feeling. "The point is though. I lost control and I nearly hurt you. That's unacceptable." 

"But understandable" she insisted standing up and came over to Janet wrapping her arms around her and rested her head on her back. "It shows how much you love me Janet, and I'm sorry I put you in a position where you may have hurt me but last night was wonderful and I'm not sorry for it." 

"If I hurt you then I am no better than him Sam," Janet said softly to where Sam barely heard as the tears began to fall. 

"NO" Sam insisted and forcefully turned Janet to look at her, "He wanted to hurt me Janet, you didn't and you don't. That's the difference between you and him and people like him. Add to that you didn't hurt me so stop this" she insisted. "Go get a shower, get ready for work and I'll have lunch made for you when you get back before I get to work on the laptop all right?" 

Janet just turned and headed into the bathroom. In her mind she still saw her as the same as that man. She was lucky that Sam was the one to stop them she just hoped that there wouldn't be a next time. She turned on the hot water letting the water get hot enough before turning on the cold water on so the temperature was just right. She slowly undid the belt and let the robe slide of her slender shoulders as it pooled at her feet. 

It was two days later when Janet had found out from Jennifer, who was due to be released tomorrow, that her daughter had stomach problems for several months but she would never let a doctor anywhere near her. Sam was out with Cassandra shopping and Kira was washing the dinner dishes when she heard Janet come in and tell her they were going out so to grab her coat and get in the car. Drying her hands the girl nodded and went to get her coat, "Where are we going" she asked proceeding Janet into the garage 

"Out," Janet said as she climbed into the car and fastened her seatbelt. 

Following suit the girl sighed and shrugged, "Well on the way back we need to stop by the store and pick up some stuff for dinner unless you were going to order out or cook." 

"I'll worry about dinner when that time comes," Janet backed out of the garage and onto the street. Putting the car in drive she headed back to the Academy Hospital. Kira was going to get tested whether she liked it or not. 

Enroute To Academy Hospital

A bit put off by the abrupt manner the girl looked at her, "Doctor Fraiser are you mad at me? Have I done something wrong? If I did I'm really sorry." 

"No I'm not mad at you Kira," Janet said calming herself down. She was still mad at herself and how she treated Sam and taking it out on the kid was wrong. "You mom wants to see you. She says it's important." 

"Oh ok" she said with a smile. "So how did you like what I made for breakfast this morning? The chef at the restaurant where I work gave me the recipe." 

"It was very good," Janet said with a smile. "But I don't want you to do all the cooking for the house. I will cook some meals and you can cook some. Deal?" 

"Sure I guess," she admitted slowly. "But I told you I liked to cook, it's fun." 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital  
Rivers Recovery Room

Once they got to the Academy Hospital Janet and Kira were shown into the more 'normal' looking room than her mom had been assigned and the woman was even allowed real clothes now. Rushing up Kira hugged her tightly, "Hi mom, Janet says you wanted to talk to me and it was important. What's up? Is everything ok?" 

"Everything is ok Kira," Jennifer said. "Janet has told me that your are having problem again with your stomach." 

"Yeah, so" she asked confused and glanced at Fraiser behind her. "I told you I was fine." 

"Baby," Jennifer said getting Kira's attention again. "I want you to get it looked at please." 

"Mom I'm fine" Kira insisted, "It just acts up once in a while and you know how I feel about medical stuff. I mean even you as a nurse and I never liked it and...." 

"Don't argue with me Kira," Jennifer said. "I have let it go on for too long and your really need to have it looked at. Now it can be done by Doctor Fraiser or by another Doctor I don't care, but it is going to get done." 

Kira knew that tone and knew it was pointless to argue but it didn't make her feel any less betrayed, "Yes momma, whatever you want" she admitted calmly and sadly, almost devoid of emotion. 

"Kira please. I'm worried about you and don't want you to hurt anymore," Jennifer tried softly. "And don't be mad or angry at Doctor Fraiser either she is as worried and concerned for you as I am." 

"Yes momma, I understand" she answered her and refused to look at either of them at the moment. 

Jennifer cupped Kira's cheek and brought her head up to look in her eyes. "Please," she repeated letting her daughter see the worry and concern in her eyes as they were close to spilling tears. 

"Please" she repeated and sighed leaning over to hug her mother, "I love you mom, you know that but I don't want to do this" she said pulling back. "I'll do it though, out of respect for you that's all. Excuse me" she said and went over and left the room sinking into a chair in the hall. 

"If you would rather her not go through with the testing I will do as you wish Jennifer," Janet relented. "It's your choice." 

"Do it" she insisted going over and sitting down. "She can be mad at me all she wants but as her mother I have to keep her safe Janet, even if she doesn't want me to" she admitted sadly. "Just tell her I love her and I'm here for her right after the tests all right?" 

"I will," Janet said. "But I think she is going to be more angry at me than she will be at you." Janet left the room to find Kira sitting in a chair. She knelt in from of her. "Your mom is only having you do this for your own good you know." 

"Yes ma'am, if you say so" she offered and stood up moving around Janet and stood in the hallway. "At twelve you don't have any rights so I shouldn't have expected any, that's my fault and no one else's." 

"Kira do you want to be sick and possibly die? Is that it?" Janet asked. 

"You know" she admitted slowly, "I thought you really meant all that stuff Doctor Fraiser, the welcome and I respect your choices and I want to help but it was a lie wasn't it" she asked coldly and stared almost through her. "It's just an act you put on for my mother so she wouldn't worry isn't it? Well dont' worry I won't let myself expect anything else from you in the future that way I won't be disappointed ma'am." 

"It wasn't a lie," Janet said. "I love you like you are my child and I want to keep you safe no matter what you may think." She paused. "Is dying what you want Kira?" 

Kira didn't answer and just stared at her, "Do whatever you need to do Doctor Fraiser, I need to get back to get homework done ma'am" she said stiffly. 

"Listen to me for a minute before you let your anger get at me," Janet said calmly. "Take how you feel about loosing your mom and times it by ten. That's how I feel when I loose someone I love. And against what you might think I love you so if something were to happen that's how I would feel. Now it you want me to feel that way fine but if not you can do something about it." Janet let her tears fall, letting Kira see them before she turned and walked away. She made it as far as the waiting room down the hall before she broke down completely and had to sit. She was glad no one else was around to see her or question her. 

But Kira didn't chase her or apologize she merely resumed her seat. Either someone would tell her where they wanted her for this nonsense or they'd leave her alone until she got bored and walked or jogged somewhere depending on her mood. 

Janet just continued to fall apart loosing track of time and where she was supposed to be. She just continued to sit and cry in the waiting room. 

After another forty five minutes Kira had enough and told the nurse to tell her mother she'd see her tomorrow and left, passing Janet and pausing enough to tell her she had waited, no one showed up so she was going back to the house and turned to leave. 

Janet just waved at Kira then stood and headed to the car. She saw Kira at the door. "Kira I'm heading to the house come on you might as well ride with me unless you still find me offending." Janet continued to walk towards her car. 

Getting into the car the girl fastened her seatbelt, "You didn't do your tests Doctor Fraiser, why? I thought you and my mother felt they were so important?" 

"I told you how I felt about you and I am giving you the choice," Janet said her voice still shaky from all the crying. "After all you want to make you own choices so that's what I'm doing. I'll explain my decision to your mother later." She started the engine and pulled out of her parking place and onto the road. 

Enroute To Fraiser Residence

"Go back" Kira insisted and never looked at Fraiser, she knew her game. "If it's my choice and I don't do it after you broke my confidence and told my mother then she can die from worry instead of a brain tumor ma'am so go back, do whatever tests you want." 

"No," Janet said. "Worry is not going to kill your mother no matter how much people think it might. Worry isn't that strong." 

"It is to a mother" the girl insisted in a tone that sounded like an adult. "How would you feel if this was Cassandra? I won't add to my mother's pain, it's why I didn't tell her about the stomach upset myself but I wasn't counting on meeting you, loving you and then having you turn around and tell her so do your tests, you have my choice." 

"This isn't about your mother," Janet said. "This is about what you want and only what you want." 

"Now you care about what I want" she laughed, "I told you do you tests you ignore me, I told you not to do the tests you went to my mother and got her to say do them and still you ignored her. What exactly do you want here ma'am?" 

Janet pulled the car over. "I wanted what was best for you to keep you healthy and alive. But that wasn't any good and I was fought every step of the way. So when it comes to what I want," Janet said. "It doesn't matter. What I want doesn't matter because it only causes people pain so I'm not going to try anymore." Janet was so frustrated she just put the car in park, turned the engine of removed her keys and locking the door once it was open she got out and started walking. 

"Oh wonderful" the girl commented and rolled her eyes, "Now you have to tell her but she can't tell mom and...." cussing she got out of the car and chased Fraiser up the road. "Janet will you please stop? Just for a minute." 

"Why what's the point," Janet said throwing her hands in the air already near being hysterical. 

"I was RAPED BY MY DOCTOR ALL RIGHT" Kira hollered and stopped sighing and turned to go back to the car, she'd sit there alone until she was calm enough to walk somewhere. 

That stopped Janet dead in her tracks she turned slowly and watched as Kira headed back to car. Janet managed to get her feet working and followed after her. When she reached the car Kira was already sitting in the passengers seat the door open. 

"Why didn't you ever tell someone?" Janet asked kneeling before the girl. 

"For the same reason I never told mom or anyone else before," she admitted. "I was seven, he was my doctor and mom had to work. She was assigned to some fort in Texas, I don't remember the name and this guy was seeing me as a favor and was a friend of hers. Besides who would have believed a kid" she asked shaking her head. "So you see, my lack of desire for tests has nothing to do with dying or you Doctor." 

"I believe you," Janet said sincerely. "I'm sorry I pushed you." She brushed some of Kira's hair out of her eyes. 

"Yeah well I'm not seven anymore" she admitted slowly. "It's fine, I'm fine. Let's go back to the hospital and do those tests you wanted and please, please don't tell my mother about the rape. It serves no purpose now" she pleaded." 

"Ok as long as you talk to someone about it. Either Sam, myself or a psychologist," Janet said softly. "Are you sure you want to do the tests?" 

"Want to no, need to because of mom yes" she admitted and leaned her head back. "I don't need to talk to anyone Doctor Fraiser, I'm fine. I wouldn't have even told you if you hadn't taken off walking just now." 

"I hope someday you will learn to trust me and Sam," Janet said as she got back in the car and started the engine heading back towards the hospital. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital  
Fraiser's Office

The ride was made in silence and they headed toward Janet's office. The girl looked around, she hadn't ever been there before and nodded, "Nice office ma'am. Where do you want me Doctor Fraiser?" 

"Take a seat on one of the chairs and I'll take your blood sample. Then we have to head down to the lab where the x-ray machines are." Janet grabbed what she need and finished with Kira. "Let's head down to the lab." 

Corridor

"Yes ma'am" she admitted and fell into step behind her, rubbing her arm as she walked. 

"Did that hurt?" Janet asked she had tried to be as gentle as possible but under her current stress she wouldn't have been surprised if it did hurt. 

X-Ray Lab

They entered the room that had the needed machine and Janet got Kira situated as she took the x-rays. Now with those and the blood work being processed there was nothing left for them to do. "I'll take you home." 

"Yes ma'am" Kira offered calmly and went toward a chair to get her coat where she had tossed it and pulled it on. They headed out of the hospital and towards home. 

Fraiser Residence

At the house Sam and Cassie were waiting and both came up to hug both women but Kira merely nodded and headed upstairs to her room. 

Cassie figured something was wrong and asked, "Mom what happened? Kira looks upset." 

"Janet" Sam asked. 

"Cassie it's nothing to worry about," Janet said kissing her daughters cheek. "Why don't you go order us something for dinner." Janet went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer before heading for their bedroom. She sat on the bed taking a gulp of beer trying to untie her shoes with one hand. 

Sighing Sam nodded for Cassie to do what the woman asked and headed upstairs propping against the door and watched her lover before shaking her blond head and came in kneeling down to untie her shoes, "Getting drunk won't make it go away Janet. What happened?" 

"I'm not getting drunk and I know it won't go away," Janet said. "I made a stupid call and Kira thinks I have betrayed her trust which I have. Nothing is wrong." 

"Ah" she said tossing the woman's shoes in the corner and stood up to sit beside her. "Have you talked to her? Tried to apologize?" 

"Yea tried that she wants to hear none of it and I apologized but I believe it fell on deaf ears," Janet admitted taking another drink. "So basically everything I built up with her in the last three or so days have just crumbled with no hope of being rebuilt. She wants nothing to do with me and I understand that." Janet moved toward the closet looking for something comfortable to change into. 

"And so you're giving up" Sam said and lay back on the bed and smiled. "Come on Janet, I've seen you face worse than this. You screwed up, newsflash, we all screw up including you so find a way to fix it and as long as she's still breathing it can be fixed." 

She changed into more comfortable clothes. "Not this time Sam," Janet admitted. "I can't help her with this and I can't fix it." She finished off her bottle before heading to the kitchen. "I have work to do so I will be in my study." Janet left but made a stop by the kitchen to drop of the empty bottle and start a pot of coffee. She planned on working long into the night. 

An hour later Sam came into the study, "Janet dinner is here. You need to go tell Kira, it's on the counter for both of you but Cassie and I are out back eating" she said and then disappeared. 

Janet went upstairs and knocked lightly on Kira's door. "Dinner is ready there is a plate on the counter for you. You can either eat outside with Cassie or Sam or you can eat in your room or in the kitchen. It's up to you," Janet informed her and turn walking back down the stairs into the kitchen. She walked passed her plate heading for the coffee pot and poured herself a cup before heading back to her study. Janet searched the bookshelf for a particular volume and upon finding it pulled it out and headed back to her desk. She thumbed through pages trying to finds answers and setting her mug down she picked up the pen and continued to write some notes. 

It was a little over ten minutes or so later when a light knock came at the door of her study. 

"Come," Janet said without looking up and continued to work grumbling when she didn't find what she wanted. 

A hand sat a plate right on the book she was reading and then pulled back. 

"Thank you but I'm not really hungry," Janet said not looking up. "Was there something I could help you with?" She asked softly. 

"I was hoping we could talk" came Kira's voice who was standing there holding her own plate, "But if I'm bothering you I can leave." 

"No. I could use a break," Janet said tiredly. She cleaned off a chair. "Have a seat." She waited giving Kira her attention. 

"Thanks" the girl said with a nod as she took a seat and sat her plate down. "When you came upstairs why didn't you offer to have me eat with you?" 

"I know you're mad at me Kira and I understand that," Janet said calmly. "I really don't want to force you into doing anything you don't want to. Besides I wasn't planning on eating." Janet continued to watch the girl. 

"Can we go to the mall" she asked standing up, "Just the two of us, spend some time together so I can talk to you" she asked Fraiser. "We can grab dinner there if that's ok?" 

"That's fine with me. Why don't you go put the plates in the kitchen while I go tell Sam," Janet said standing up. 

"Sure we can have them later" she said taking the plates out. 

Sam was giggling with Cassandra over a game of chess and dinner when she heard footprints and smiled, "Hey Janet, what's up" she asked opening her mouth and ate a bite. 

"I'm going to take Kira to the mall or somewhere," Janet said kissing Sam on the cheek. "She apparently wants to go somewhere so we can talk. I have my cell so call if you need me or need something." Janet moved to the other side of the table and kissed Cassie on the cheek. "I'll try not to be long." 

"Love you mom and don't forget you have to sign my school permission slip for that trip to Denver next week" her daughter told her. 

"I'm glad to see you two talking and you better come back in a better mood young lady" Carter said in her best Janet voice and got Cassie giggling. 

"Uh huh," Janet said and kissed Sam on the cheek again. "I'll see you to later and have the permission slip out for me to sign when I get back." Janet headed back into the house and to the front door to see where Kira was. 

She was coming out of the kitchen and handed Janet a bottled water, sliding her own into her coat pocket, "I have my cell too if anyone needs us. You sure I'm not interrupting your work for this" she asked zipping up her coat. 

"There is plenty of time to work," Janet said after all she planned on being up all night anyway. "So do you really want to head to the mall or someplace else?" She headed towards the car unlocking the doors and getting in. 

"The mall" she answered and buckled her seatbelt. 

"Ok the mall it is then," Janet said and started the engine heading to the mall. 

Local Mall

About ten minutes later they were pulling into a parking place and getting out of the car. "So what is it you want to do here at the mall?" 

The ride to the mall was in silence but once they got out and inside the girl started to talk, just loud enough for Janet to hear her, "You know I wish you could have met my dad, you'd have liked him. You remind me of him in a lot of ways," she admitted as they walked and she slid her hands into her jean pockets. "So strong willed, opinionated and probably the only person alive that could match me for stubbornness" she admitted with a chuckle. 

"Oh you would be surprised," Janet said with a smile. "Both Sam and myself are very stubborn and can probably make you look like an angel in that category." She let Kira lead the way content on just following. 

"He was also a lot like you in that when he hurt someone he sulked. I remember a lot of times mom and I had to chase him down to apologize just so he'd eat" Kira admitted and gave a knowing glance to Janet, "Remind you of anyone?" 

"No not really," Janet said with a smile. "I bet he was a great man and I would have loved to meet him." 

"Yes" she admitted slowly, "He was great, I couldn't have asked for a better father." Sighing the girl rounded a corner and stopped to get them both a lemonade, because of her after school job she had some money and handed Janet her drink, "I wasn't very nice to you today Janet and I'm sorry for that but this is all so new" she admitted slowly as they walked. 

"Well in a way this is all new to me too," Janet said. "Yes I adopted Cassie when she didn't have a family but that was under different circumstances and her family had already passed when I met her. I know your mom so it makes this all a little harder." Janet took a sip of her lemonade. "Thank you for the drink." 

"You're welcome" she admitted and nodded. "I understand that, we're both in terrible situations." Passing a computer store the girl stopped a moment and looked inside before continuing to walk, "I really have to get out of the stone age and get a new laptop, mine is about dead but saving up a thousand dollars isn't that easy" she admitted and cleared her throat. 

"You should talk with Sam," Janet said proudly. "She is a great mechanic and can probably fix up your current laptop to make it run faster. Save you some money. Talk to her about it, trust me she is a computer wiz." 

"Thanks but I'd rather earn it myself, you know" the girl admitted with a smile. "Mom taught me that early, you can't depend on anyone but yourself and anything you get in this world you have to work for." Taking a drink of her lemonade as they passed the food court she pointed to an empty table and went over sinking into a chair and waited until Janet had sat beside her, "I'm scared of you Janet...or more appropriately how I feel about you" she admitted running her fingers over the Styrofoam that was sweating in her hands 

"Why?" Janet asked. "Did I do something to scare you? I know I was angry the other morning and you saw that but I wasn't angry with you honey. I'm sorry if that scared you." Janet paused looking into her cup. "Talk to Sam anyway she can probably work something out till you can get you new laptop. OK?" 

"I'll talk to her," Kira stated wanting to tackle the easiest issue first. "And no Janet, you didn't scare me. I don't think you could" she admitted and then saw the confused look. "Well you see" Kira began and took a deep breath, "I loved my dad and he died, I love my mom and she's dying and....well I'm just afraid of what will happen to you because I love you too. Today when we were 'fighting' I felt about two inches tall and like someone had kicked me in the stomach" she admitted. "I've never felt like that before except in where a parent was concerned. I confess I'm a little confused about why all of a sudden I loved you or why I feel safe with you. Just weird I guess" she admitted sipping her drink. 

"A lot of it is probably because you see me as a motherly figure," Janet said then somewhat corrected. "Not your mother but as Cassie's mother so you notice traits that me and your mother have in common. It's familiarity Kira. And I'm not going to die or go anywhere so don't think there is something wrong with you cause there's not." 

Absorbing what the woman had just told her Kira nodded and slowly slid her hand on the table toward Janet, "That doesn't excuse how I acted today" she stated keeping her head down in the noisy mall. 

"It might not but I was forcing you to do something you didn't want to do," Janet said taking the hand and holding it. 

"For my own good yeah" she said and was determined to take all the weight for that one. Kira felt the warmth of Janet's hand and she smiled, "I'm sorry Janet and for what it's worth you did the right thing in telling mom; I know that. I hope you do to." 

"Thank you Kira but you don't have to worry about me," Janet said smiling. "You're too young to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You should just worry about you and your mom. How I feel isn't as important." 

A hard squeeze on her hand greeted her, almost as hard as Janet had felt Colonel O'Neil for and the girl turned and stared into her eyes with such determination, "The hell it isn't" she stated, "It matters Janet...to me" she said never taking her eyes off her. 

Janet's eyes got a little wider. "Watch the language young lady," Janet reprimanded and squeezed the hand back. 

Smiling the girl nodded, "Sorry" she said and went back to looking at her melting lemonade. "We need to talk about the rape" she admitted slowly, "All of it Janet, I want you to know and then tomorrow I want you with me when I tell mom; she deserves to die knowing the truth." 

"How about we do this at home and let Sam be there to help," Janet tried. "She understands and cares for you too." Janet wanted Sam there because she knows what being raped is like but didn't want to tell Kira information like that it was only Sam's place to do so. 

"I'll repeat it if you want but I'm telling you first" she said pulling the hand toward her and stared almost off into space and took a drink of her soda. "Mom had to work late and I needed some kind of check up for school, we were new at the base but she knew this guy from somewhere. At first everything went fine and then I felt sleepy, really sleepy and he helped me lay down." 

Jane pulled Kira's chair a little closer to her and rubbed her back offering support in any way she could. 

Taking another drink she spoke, "Apparently I passed out, I still don't have any idea why" she admitted trying to fight her emotion. "When I woke up my legs were strapped into those metal things...you know at the end of the table" she said or asked glancing at Janet. 

"Honey he probably gave you something to put you to sleep so you wouldn't fight back," Jane said still rubbing her back. "And I know what you are talking about." 

Sighing Kira nodded, "Yes I figured you did. Anyway..." she choked a little on the words then and took a long drink of her lemonade, "He said he was just checking me out, making sure I was ok like my mother had asked him to and that I should relax. I heard a..." she lowered her head, "A zipper and then pain, incredible pain and heat. I begged him to stop and he said he'd...be done soon and just kept pushing whatever it was in and out of me until I felt something wet dripping out of me. He had cried out my name at some point, I dont' remember when specifically." 

Janet closed her eyes letting a few tears fall. "He won't hurt you again and I won't let anyone else hurt you like that." 

"I...I know" she admitted and squeezed the hand. "I'm sorry how I treated you today Janet, can you forgive me" she asked wanting to get as far away from the memory as possible. 

"There is nothing to forgive Kira," Janet said kissing the girls temple. "Its all water under the bridge, so don't worry about that ok." 

"I'll try" Kira admitted and cleared her throat. "We should get some dinner Janet." 

"What do you want honey?" Janet asked standing up. "You can stay at the table and I'll get our food." 

"Something light, my stomach is a little..." 

Janet's cell phone interrupted her and Kira glanced up when she heard her talking medical language figuring it wasn't important when she saw the woman looking at her shocked and she stared at her curious, "What? What is it?" 

"I just got the results from some test I had them run for you," Janet said. 

"And" she asked sipping her drink, "What? Everything is fine right?" 

"No everything is not fine," Janet said taking a seat again. "The x-rays show that you have an obstruction in part of your intestine." 

Seriously not the girl faced Fraiser, "Ok, so what is it? How do we get rid of it?" 

"Well we can try you are some different medications and try to disperse the obstruction naturally or there is surgery," Janet said. "The choice would be yours and you mother's but I would first try medications." 

"We'll tell mom tomorrow but for now I'll do whatever you think best Janet" the girl answered, hoping the gesture was clear that she trusted her. "Do we still have time for dinner or do we need to go?" 

"There's time for dinner but you need to tell me if the pain get worse or if you have bleeding, diarrhea, or begin to throw-up," Janet said. "I need to know if you start to get more sick." She rubbed her back. "So what is it you want for dinner?" 

"Just something light, my stomach hurts a little though I think that's from all the fighting" Kira offered. "And a pop please Janet." 

"You could also have an ulcer," Janet informed. "How about a salad and some juice for now?" 

"Which one comes without a special diet and I'll have that one" she volunteered but nodded. "I still want my soda before we leave though." 

"A small soda, if you drink lots of water when we get home." Janet bargained. "And they both have special diets so your in trouble either way." 

"But..." she began to protest and finally smiled and nodded. "All right, small soda and lots of water, now feed me Janet, then we have to go shopping for something." 

"And just what is it you plan on shopping for young lady?" Janet questioned before leaving. 

A little over two hours later the two women were getting into the car, with Kira drinking a water bottle at Janet's insistence and several bags in the trunk but a bag from a jewelry store secure in the girl's lap. Buckling her seatbelt she looked at the woman, "Do you think it's too late to stop by mom's room? I want to give her something." 

Enroute To Academy Hospital

"I think I can arrange that," Janet said with a smile and headed for the hospital. It was about a twenty-minute drive from the mall and they were pulling into a parking spot near the entrance. Janet lead Kira in and informed the nurse's desk who she was and gave medical clearance. 

Rivers Recovery Room

"Thanks, I'll be right back" Kira said and headed into her mom's room and saw her sitting in a chair staring out the window, the jewelry bag in her hand, "Mom" she whispered coming up to her. 

"Hi baby," Jennifer said opening her arms. 

Rushing forward the girl wrapped her arms around her mom, "I know it's late mom but Janet and I came by and I...well I wanted to give you something" she said and kissed her and pulled back. "I've...I've been paying this off from one store chain to another since about two years ago mom and with last night's pay check I just had enough to tonight but..." she pulled out a purple velvet box and offered it to her. "Open it" she said with a smile. 

Inside was a diamond heart, or rather a cubic zirconia heart with one actual diamond in the center and it had the words, Best Mom overlaid underneath it on a chain. "Honey its beautiful," Jennifer said crying. "But you didn't have to." 

"No" she said crying and came back up to her mother and hugged her tightly, "I wanted to and it's true. I love you...so much mom." 

"I love you too honey," Jennifer said hugging her daughter tightly. "But you should have spent your money on yourself. You have worked so hard to earn it." Jennifer didn't want to add that she wouldn't really get to enjoy the necklace because she was dieing. 

"I did" she admitted and pulled back but held her mom's hands. "Mom I don't know how all this...dying stuff works but if you do and we...can't be together anymore I want you to have the necklace, remember how much I loved you. I'm...going to miss you momma." 

"I'm going to miss you too honey," Jennifer said. "And you remember that I'll always love you and that I am very proud of you. If you ever need me look inside your heart and that's where you'll find me." Jennifer placed her hand over Kira's heart to prove her point. 

Crying openly now Kira covered her mom's heart with her smaller hand and nodded, "It's going to be ok Mom, I promise," she said with a firm nod. 

"I know honey," Jennifer said and kissed Kira on the cheek. "You should probably be going now. It's getting late." 

"Yeah" she said blushing a little, "I have a book report due tomorrow and haven't finished it yet. I'll stop by after school; Janet said I could. I love you," she said hugging her again. Once she left Kira saw Janet rise from a chair at the nurse's station and she nodded she was done, "Thanks for letting me see her," she admitted trying to think how to handle this next thing. 

"I figured it was something important you had to do," Janet said putting her arm around Kira's shoulders as they walked. "Shall we head home?" 

"Yeah but I need to give you something in the car" she said. "Did you get whatever medicine I needed to take or is that something we have to pick up?" 

"It will be ready for pick up tomorrow at the pharmacy," Janet informed. "And you don't have to give me anything." She unlocked the car and they climbed in. She started the engine ready to head out. 

"Don't have to no, want to yes" Kira said and then buckled her seatbelt before she pulled out another box. "Cassie and I saw this the other day and after mom's present I had enough so...well I hope you like them" she said. 

Inside the box was a pair of jade colored earrings. Janet opened the box and gasped. "They are beautiful Kira. You shouldn't have," she said as she ran her fingers over the stone. She reached over and gave Kira a hug then kissed her temple. 

The girl blushed but nodded slowly, "You're welcome and I'm glad you like them Janet. So" she said facing front now, "Tell me about this diet and medicine I'm going to hate." 

"Well the medicine I admit will taste bad but I think it will help dissolve the obstruction. AS far as the diet you are going to have to lie off soda for a while. Stick to juice and water and tea plus no fast food until your stomach heals. Healthy foods like salads and sandwiches among other things," Janet continued to list foods Kira could eat. 

Fraiser Residence

They fell silent and soon pulled into the garage. "I would like you to talk with Sam about the rape Kira. She will understand. Will you do that? It will be your choice but I would like you too if your comfortable with it." 

"I can do that sure, it seems easier now that I've told you for some reason" she admitted and shrugged. "As for the diets come on, fast food and pop are what I live on when not cooking; you're cutting out major food groups here." 

"I am but you can have them again once we get your stomach taken care of," Janet climbed out and started heading inside. "When you have changed come into our room and we will all talk." She opened the door and entered with Kira right behind her. 

"I'm changing" she asked but shrugged and headed upstairs. 

Sam was sitting on the couch typing on the laptop and looked up to see Janet come in, "Hey, Cassie is in bed since she has a date with Dominic tomorrow, she went about half an hour ago but finished her homework and I checked it. She left the permission slip for you right there" she answered pointing to a white paper as she closed her laptop and sat it aside. "You and Kira ok now?" 

"I think we will be yeah," Janet said smiling. She read over the permission slip before signing it. "Let's head to bed. Kira is going to meet us there and there's something she is going to tell you." She offered Sam her hand and when they were both standing she kissed Sam's cheek. They walked up the stair but Janet stopped briefly at Cassie's door. I'll be in a minute." She pushed the door open and walked in sitting softly on the edge of the bed she brushed a few stray strands of hair out of Cassie's face as she watched her sleep. "I love you," she whispered kissing her forehead before leaving the room. She entered her room and changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and was now laying on the bed with Sam waiting for Kira. 

Since the door was open Kira came in a few seconds later changed and eating a piece of chocolate cake, "I was hungry" she admitted, "Is there room for me over there Janet, Major Carter?" 

Janet looked to Sam and smiled. "I think so but you may have to share some of your cake with Sam," Janet said lightly. 

"I brought forks" she commented and came over, handing the cake, water and forks to Janet and then hopped over her sitting between them before taking it back. She put the water bottle between her legs and handed a fork to Sam and one to Janet, "Don't eat it all." 

"I won't" Sam said and took a bite with a smile, "This is really good Kira, you did a great job." 

"I know," she answered in that typical teen voice. 

"Now don't let it go to your head," Janet said taking a bite of her own. 

"So Kira" Carter said smiling, "Janet said you had something to tell me." 

Taking another bite the girl nodded and looked at Janet and then Sam, "When I was seven years old I was raped Major Carter. I never told anyone, my doctor at the time did it in his office." 

Jane just sat there listening as Kira told Sam about the rape. She wasn't any happier the second time around but she knew it would be good for Sam to know and for Kira to be the one telling her. 

"I heard a zipper and then pain, incredible pain and heat. I begged him to stop and he said he'd be done soon and just kept pushing whatever it was in and out of me until I felt something wet dripping out of me...." 

Sam Carter was major confused as she listened with interest to the girl and then gently put a hand on her knee, "It wasn't your fault Kira, there was nothing you could have done and nothing you did to deserve it" she said softly echoing her own feelings about the rape that had happened recently herself. 

"I don't know," Kira said. "Sometime I think it was my fault. Bad things just keep happening and I think it's all my fault," Kira's voice trailed off at the end with the guilt she feels. 

"That isn't true Kira" Sam said squeezing her knee. "I know you feel bad but it's not your fault, in time you'll believe that but for now there is a very cute lady over there who wants to help...if you'll let her." 

Kira glanced over at Janet and nodded, "She is kind of cute isn't she?" 

"Adorable" Sam stated with a smile and a nod. 

"That's all I rate is cute and adorable," Janet joked but opened her arms to Kira. 

Handing the plate with the cake to Sam the girl scooted over and fell into Janet's arms, getting comfortable, "Lovable and comfortable too." 

"It's all that flab around the middle, it makes a nice..." Carter began. 

"Someone is gonna get it, someone is gonna get it, someone is gonna get it" Kira admitted laughing. 

"No more kisses for you. See I told you Sam would understand and that she is here for you." 

"Fine I'll just sit over here and eat my cake then" Carter said and pretended to pout. 

"Hey" came Cassie's tired voice from the door, "Someone had a party and didn't invite me. Make room," she ordered. 

Kira scooted over more into Janet and hugged her while resting her head on her shoulder, "So much for my book report." 

"Speaking of which," Janet said. "Why don't you go work on it. It's still important and you told me there wasn't much left for you to do." Janet ruffled Cassie's hair when she climbed on the bed. "Your permission slip is on the entry hall table." 

"I'd rather cuddle" Kira said not wanting to go work on the report. 

"Thanks mom" Cassie said and put her feet under the blankets, "Ok, I'm sleeping here tonight. How about you Kira?" 

"Sounds like a plan to me" the girl volunteered. 

Sam leaned up and looked at Fraiser with a smile, "See what you started?" 

"Me," Janet said rolling her eyes. "I didn't start this. I blame you." She pointed her finger at Sam. "How about I make you a deal Kira. You go finish your book report because it's due and then we'll let you come back here." 

"But I don't know anything about biology and it's for health class" she protested. 

Sam laughed ad nodded, "Janet knows a lot, take her with you." 

"When is your report due?" Janet questioned. 

"Tomorrow" Kira stated, "I kind of forgot about it. Why?" 

Sam offered Cassandra a bite of cake, "Hey as long as you don't need a model I can help; so can Cassie." 

"Why did I get volunteered?" 

"Because I said so and don't talk with your mouth full Cass" Sam chastised. 

"Go get what you need and bring it in here," Janet said. "And we will see what we can do to help. But you should have asked for help before it was due. Next time ok." Janet started to shoo the girl out of bed so she would go get her work. 

Two hours later, sitting in bed with Sam and Cassandra intertwined in each other Kira wrote the last of her report and smiled closing the book. Putting both inside she handed them to Janet to put on the bedside table since she was on the outside, "That was great help Janet, thanks. I bet I get an A," she said glancing over the woman at the clock. "I should go to bed I guess, I have to get up in four hours." 

"Why are you getting up so early?" Janet questioned. 

"So I can get in a jog before I cook breakfast" she answered and yawned but truthfully didn't want to move. She hadn't cuddled with a family since she had lain with her mom and dad and she found she liked it. "Uh anyway I'll see you in the morning Janet and...." 

"Just go to sleep," Janet said. "You're almost there anyway." She kissed Kira on the head before reaching over and turning out the light. She could see that Sam and Cassie were already asleep. 

For a brief moment she started to argue and then didn't but nodded and lay down on her side but then she reached back and took Janet's hand in hers under the covers and pulled it over her, squeezing it tightly. 

"Go to sleep honey. I'll see you in the morning," Janet whispered as she kissed Kira again holding her close. She lay there for a few hours watching her family sleep knowing that they were safe. 

The next night after a visit with her mother and getting the good news that she was being released day after tomorrow and going back to work a day after that Kira was laying on the sofa watching the TV. Sam and Cassie had gone over to Colonel O'Neil's for something and the girl saw Janet coming in with a bottle and a spoon which she figured was her medicine, "Hey" she said tiredly, "There's a note from school in my bag you need to see, I fell asleep in English class." 

"Ok," Janet said pouring the medicine on the spoon and offering it to Kira. "You shouldn't try to do so much. You're wearing yourself thin." 

Sitting up the girl eyed the red liquid on the spoon and made a face, "You don't actually expect me to take that do you," she inquired and looked at Fraiser, "I mean really don't expect me to take that right?" 

"Just hold your nose and swallow," Janet said. "We have to take care of that stomach of yours. Especially if you have plans on being a chef someday." Janet had set the bottle down and kept her empty hand under the spoon in case she spilled. 

"Yeah but..." and then she found the spoon in her mouth. Swallowing the liquid Kira made a serious face, "YUCK" she stated loudly, "Oh man...dirty trick" she said reaching for her water on the table. 

"Yeah I know. But you took it didn't you," Janet joked. "The taste will go away momentarily. I don't blame you I can't stand the taste myself but it should make you better." Janet brushed the girls hair out of her face. "Just relax Sam and Cassie are suppose to bring dinner back with them." 

"I was going to cook spaghetti, then I had homework and time to go take a swim down at the city pool and...." she rambled on for five minutes until she saw Janet shaking her head, "What?" 

"You do to much," Janet said. "Don't worry about dinner and you can do your homework. Take Cassie with you when you head to the pool. She liked to swim. Besides I think she would really like to be your friend if you let her." 

"I do what I have to and I know she does," she admitted rising and going to the door to pick up her book bag. Fishing the note out the girl walked over and handed it to Janet, "There you go." 

"Your a part of this family," Janet stated. "You know that right?" 

"I know" she admitted tiredly, "I...I just nodded off for a few minutes, was a little tired but that's because I don't sleep much at night you know" she asked and then was on her feet again moving to go pick up her bag so she could do her homework. 

"If there is ever anything you need to talk about or if you want something to help you sleep let me know." Janet let Kira go work on her homework. She moved in the direction of her study. "I will be in my study doing some work if you need me." 

Half an hour later Janet came out and found Kira asleep, though not comfortable. She had a pad of paper, a pen and an open book her lap and her head was tilted at an odd angle. Moving the book and paper and pen onto the coffee table Janet easily laid Kira on the couch and draped a blanket over her. She went into the kitchen and started a fresh pot of coffee while she cleaned the counter. 

And minutes after she heard heavy footsteps heading for the stairs and watched as Kira started to head up, she couldn't have been asleep more than a few seconds and she had all her school books under arm. 

Janet went and peaked in on Kira to find her hard at work on her assignments so she turned and headed back to the kitchen. With mug in hand filled with fresh coffee Janet headed into her study to start her research. 

Later that night they were all sitting around the table finishing dinner and Kira could barely keep her eyes open, finishing she said she'd do the dishes before jogging for her swim and moved into the kitchen. 

"Geez" Cassandra said rolling her eyes, "Don't that girl ever stop? I mean after spending the night outside and...." 

"Cassie," Janet reprimanded. "I think she is afraid to sleep for some reason." Janet stood up and went into the kitchen to talk with Kira. "Honey why don't you go get some sleep?" 

"Not tired" she answered washing a glass, "Besides I have a lot to do, jog, a swim, emails and I want to get some food simmering tonight for tomorrow night." 

"Kira you're tired you can hardly keep your eyes open," Janet argued. "Go get some sleep. All that stuff can wait." 

"I'll just be up in five minutes so I may as well..." 

"You may as well let Janet give you something" came Sam's voice as she brought her and Cassandra's plates in. "I know what you're doing Kira. The pain will still be there even if you work yourself so much." 

"That isn't..." 

"YES" Carter stressed as she slid the plates into the soapy water, "It is, I know. I've done it twice before. Janet, get her out of here and to bed would you? I'll do these." 

Janet pulled Kira away from the sink trying to get her up to bed. 

Sighing the girl entered her room but didn't even notice that the woman behind her had grabbed her medical bag, "I'll just be up in five minutes, this is a waste of time Janet." 

"Kira it's not normal to not sleep," Janet said. "Let me help and give you something to sleep." Janet removed her stethoscope from her bag and began to listen to Kira's breathing and her heart. "Why can't you sleep? Why are you trying to fight it?" 

"I'm not" she admitted feeling the stethoscope moving over her chest and glanced down at Janet. "I'm not sick, I'm just not...tired" she finished after a yawn. 

"You are tired Kira. You keep yawning and have trouble keeping your eyes open," Janet pointed out. "Those are signs that you are tired. Now there has to be a reason why you won't sleep. Does it have something to do with us and living here?" 

"No" she admitted slowly, "I'm just...it's just a lot on my mind. I'll lay down a few minutes, that's it" she admitted and pulled away from Janet and laid down with her back to her so she didn't see the woman shake her head and start to prepare and injection. 

With the syringe ready Janet carefully pushed the needle into Kira's arm and pushed the plunger down expelling the contents into her body. She removed the syringe capping it and placing it back in her bag. "I'm sorry honey but you need to sleep. You can't keep going like this," she whispered and kissed Kira's head before grabbing her bag and leaving the room. 

Sam was just coming out of the kitchen when she saw Cassie come up and hug her mom, "You did the right thing mom" she admitted. 

"She's right Janet" Sam insisted, "I've been there and I wish I had someone like you around; it may have saved me some ugly episodes and...." knocking at the garage door interrupted her. "I'll get it" she said and went to open it. 

O'Neil burst in with Teal'c behind him, "DOC" he hollered and shoved his right hand at her, "You gotta get it out. A splinter, a big honkin'..." 

"There is nothing in your finger O'Neil," the Jaffa said. 

"Yes there is" he stated and looked at Janet and Cassie, "Get it out will ya Doc?" 

"Have a seat Colonel," Janet said tiredly motioning towards a chair. "Let me take a look." She ran her finger over where Jack said the splinter was and felt a little bump. She pulled out her tweezers and started trying to dig it out. 

"OW...DOC, EASY...DON'T...OW" he stated and kept fidgeting. 

Smiling Cassie took Sam and Teal'c's hand pulling them into the living room; they may as well watch TV while they were there. 

"So how are you and daughter number two getting...OUCH" he hollered and jumped. "Doc will you leave me a little bit of finger here?"" 

"It wouldn't hurt so bad if you would just stop moving around," Janet said plainly. "And if you don't keep your voice down you could wake up said number two daughter. Now just hold still I almost have it." Janet triumphantly pulled out an itty-bitty tiny sliver. "This is the big honkin' sliver Sir." 

"I knew it was huge" he answered and then stuck his finger in his mouth sucking on it. Not the most sanitary way to clean the small cut. 

"Colonel at least use soap and water instead of your mouth," Janet reprimanded. "Is there anything else I can do for you sir?" 

"Yeah actually" Jack began and leaned down to untie his boot, "I think I got a case of athlete's foot, take a look and...." he got his shoe off and started to pull off his sock. 

"Sir if you would just use the stuff I gave you everyday you wouldn't have a problem," Janet moved back away from him not wanting to get anywhere near his feet. "Why don't you just join the others and watch TV." 

"But what about my foot" he asked looking up and had the sock half off, "I mean it's really stinky Doc and you gotta..." 

"I don't have anything for you here Sir. Either use the spray and powder I gave you or go to the infirmary. Now if you would excuse me I need to put this away." Janet headed into her study to dispose of her medical bag and stopped to look over her notes. 

That night Janet was ready for bed, Cassie and Sam were talking downstairs and the doctor was sitting up in bed reading when Kira appeared and silently walked over, crawled in at the foot of the bed with sleepy eyes and then laid against Janet's legs, wrapping an arm over them as she closed her eyes to go back to sleep. 

"What's wrong honey?" Janet softly asked placing her book down so she didn't loose her page. 

"Belly hurts and tired" came the mumbled reply. 

"You want something for your stomach?" Janet leaned forward and was now trying to rub Kira's back. 

"Yes...please" Kira said lifting her head enough and loosening her grip to crawl up next to Janet and lay down on her stomach. 

Sam came in then and smiled, "Hey you two. Cassie went to do homework and I was tired so...You ok Kira?" 

"No" was the reply. 

"Janet what's wrong" the Major asked coming over and climbing onto the bed. 

"Her stomach is bothering her," Janet informed. "Why don't you sit with her Sam while I go and get her something to make it feel better." Janet began to get up and head to the bathroom. 

By the time the woman got back Kira was on her back and Sam was rubbing her pajama-covered stomach while talking lightly with the girl. Glancing up Sam smiled, "Cassie wanted you to stop and see her Janet, she got a paper cut and wants you to make it better." 

Janet laughed and handed Kira a little plastic cup with this pink liquid in it. "Take this. I'm going to see to the other one." 

"It's gotta taste better than the red stuff" the girl answered and lifted her head tiredly to down the liquid and then rolled over right into Janet's spot. 

Janet had left her room and went to Cassie's. She knocked lightly on the doorframe. "Hey." 

Looking up from where she was kneeling to put her stuff in her backpack the girl raised and came up to her mom, "Mom I got a paper cut, you gotta fix it" she said offering her pinkie finger to her. "Do I need a transfusion? Surgery or what?" 

"How about I kiss it and make it all better then slap a band-aid on it?" Janet asked wrapping her arms around her daughter. 

"You could do that," she promised hugging her mother. "I know we fight so much mom but you do know I love you right? You're my family and I love you so much" she promised holding onto Janet tightly. "How is Kira?" 

"I know honey," Janet said giving her a kiss. "And I love you very much." She held her for a little bit more in silence before answering her other question. 'Kira will be ok. She has problems with her stomach and it's acting up right now." Janet reached out took Cassie's hand and kissed her pinkie finger right on the paper cut. 

No matter how old she was nothing could make Cassie feel better when she was hurt than her mother kissing the hurt and she nodded and leaned forward kissing her cheek, "Thank you mom. I'll do the band-aid and then I have homework but I'll be in bed by twelve ok?" 

"Alright. As long as you get plenty of sleep." Janet let go of Cassie and started heading for the door. 

Inside the master bedroom Sam was standing by the door with her arms crossed, smiling but was also deep in thought. Seeing her lover she nodded to the bed where Kira was lying in the middle with her arms spread out taking up the entire thing, "This young lady wants our bed Janet." 

Janet walked over to Sam kissing her cheek and wrapping her arms around her waist. "So you want to try and move her or try to sleep with her?" Janet leaned into Sam's taller frame enjoying the closeness. 

Uncrossing her arms Carter slid them around Janet's waist, "You tell me, she's just like you so I think it's your choice dear" she offered. 

"I don't know," she whispered. "How have you been feeling?" 

"Wonderful" she answered kissing Janet's cheek and rubbed her back and then giggled. "Look" she said and nodded to the bed. 

Kira was all cuddled up on Janet's side now and hugging her pillow tightly. 

Sam just smiled broadly, "Well I can sleep, you'll have to figure out what to do about your uh pillow hugger there Doctor." 

"I love you Sam," she whispered holding her a bit tighter. 

"I love you..." 

"Would you two be quiet and come to bed" Kira's voice interrupted. 

Carter laughed, "Yep, she acts like you Janet," she said releasing her. "Can't you make her behave?" 

"No" came the mumbled reply as Kira rolled over and held up both arms, "Come on already" she admitted tiredly, "One on each side, move it." 

Before heading over to the bed Janet grabbed Sam around the neck and gave her a very passionate kiss leaving them both breathless. 

"MOM" Cassie said and made a face as she stood behind them, "You two should get a room." 

"We have a room" Sam promised and returned the kiss. 

Rolling their eyes both young women spoke over one another, "Everyone in bed" Kira ordered. 

"Sounds good to me" Cassie said pushing past her parents and jumped in the bed, lying on Sam's side. "Hiya sis." 

"Hello Cass." 

Janet looked at Sam. "So does this mean we can make out anywhere in the house since our room has been run over by teens?" Her face was just inches from Sam's and she could feel every breath Sam took. 

"Sounds like it to me" Sam admitted smiling. 

Rolling her eyes Kira and Cassie got up and each one grabbed one of the women pulling them to bed, Kira had Sam and Cassie had Janet. "Honestly you two" Cassandra said and put her mom on one side. 

"Really" Kira insisted and put Sam on the other side and then hopped over her to lay behind Sam and put an arm over her waist as Cassie did the same with Janet. "Good night" Kira insisted. 

Janet couldn't stop laughing. "What do you mean by us two?" She questioned. "We are in love it's what you are suppose to do." 

"Yeah" Sam insisted, "I mean if you two need the birds and the bees talk I'm sure Janet would love to tell you all about it." 

"Hey don't put that all on me. You know how that works as much as I do." Janet playfully voiced while drawing her arms around Cassie. 

"Yeah but you're the doctor and...." 

Kira had enough and propped herself up on her elbows looking at Cassie, "Are you sure you don't have a roll of tape Cassandra?" 

"No but Sam does in the garage" she offered winking at her mother. 

"I'm getting it" the other girl said and started to crawl over Sam. 

"I would keep her from doing that if I were you," Janet suggested as she watched her lover and daughter. 

Without a word Sam wrapped her arms around Kira and rolled over with her so she was lying like Janet and Cassie were, "Got ya." 

"Janet" the girl began playfully, "She's picking on me and...." 

"I am not Janet, she was trying to crawl over me" Sam protested. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes, "Maybe you and I should lay in my room mom?" 

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Janet said playfully as she started to sit up with Cassie only to have Sam grab her. 

And soon all four of them were gigging, laughing and tickling on the bed until they fell off, Kira and Janet on one side and Sam and Cassie on the other, "Ok, bruised my pride here" Sam proclaimed still laughing. 

"I bruised my ass" Kira voiced smiling and didn't realize she would be getting a language mom response soon. 

"Kira do I need to start washing your mouth out with soap?" Janet threatened already in mother mode. "Besides you should complain you fell on me not the floor." 

"Yeah but you're bony" she offered and stood up holding her hand out to Janet. 

Cassie laughed, "You're going to get it for that one" she said rising and held her hand down to Sam, "Come on you old women, we'll get you up and in bed." 

"Now you going to get it for that one," Janet pointed out as she started to tickle Kira. 

And Sam did the same for Cassandra and then got everyone back in bed, only this time she was next to Janet. 

The teens rolled their eyes and stood up, "We are going to bed" they proclaimed and crawled back on the bed kissing Janet's cheek first and then both leaned over her to get to Sam, which resulted in them squishing her. 

"Off, off," Janet demanded. "I'm small enough thank you." 

Crawling off the teens winked and gt off the bed but not before Cassie ruffled her mom's hair, "Sorry shorty, didn't see you there" she joked. 

Kira shook her head, "I'm glad she don't do my check ups Cassie, you're going to get it." 

"Nah, mom's a pussycat." 

"Meow," was Janet's only response. "Get to bed you too." 

After they were alone and the door closed Sam rolled over on top of Janet and kissed her passionately, "Love you baby." 

Janet responded to the kiss by treading her fingers through Sam's hair and pulling her down closer to her. "Mmmm. I love you too." Was mumbled after they broke the kiss. 

Wrapping her arms around her lover she rubbed her back, sliding her hands up and down, "Kira is starting to open up. You're doing great with her Janet and she loves you." 

"I love her too. I think maybe she is starting to believe that we are her family." She kissed Sam again. 

Not wanting foreplay tonight Sam lifted one of Janet's hands and slid the woman's own finger in her mouth and then pulled it out sliding it down her thigh and between her legs, "Do it Janet...right now" she panted and leaned forward kissing her, rubbing her breasts. 

Janet pulled away from the kiss. "Are you sure you're ready? That you want this?" She searched deep blue eyes trying to find the answers. 

"YES" she stressed and pulled Janet back down, forcing her tongue into her mouth and pressed their faces as close together as possible while spreading her legs more, she wanted her lover inside her. 

Janet left her fingers play with delicate folds collecting the wetness gathered there before slipping one finger in. She planned on being gentle taking her time. 

But Sam was caught up in the moment and arched against her lover as the kiss broke, forcing Janet's finger inside her very far, "OH...OH GOD" she screamed loudly and started to clench the woman's finger. 

She added a second finger and began thrusting them in and out moving at a steady pace. She dropped her head and began suckling Sam's neck enjoying the taste. Janet made it a point to keep her ears open and aware to any sign that this is causing Sam pain. 

But there was no pain, only pleasure as Sam dug her heals into the bed and pushed herself up so Janet could get or force if she wanted to anything she wanted into her, "OH...OH...MMM...I'M...COMING" she cried out and turned her head to kiss her lover, kiss her over and over again and stunk her tongue in her ear before she started to lick Janet's ear enjoying the smell, the taste, everything about her, "More...HARDER..." 

Using her thumb to push on Sam's sensitive nub she thrust her fingers a little harder and a little faster in and out of Sam. She knew her lover was close could feel it as her walls tightened their hold. Janet moved her head and began to suck and bite one of Sam's nipples while her free hand played with the other. 

Seconds later Sam laid exhausted, Janet's fingers and hand coated in the juices but still inside the woman. Her breathing was pants and her eyes were closed, "Mmm" she mumbled. 

Janet removed her fingers and brought them to her lips licking off Sam's essence savoring the taste of her lover. She then leaned forward and kissed Sam letting her taste herself. 

Swirling her tongue in her lover's mouth when they finally broke Sam felt Janet's sweaty body on top of her sweaty body but she had to recover enough so she could pleasure Janet, she wanted and needed to do that, "So wonderful." 

Janet smiled and breaking the kiss just enough to speak. "Glad you enjoyed it. Do you hurt?" 

"Yes" Sam told her and wrapped her arms around her, holding Janet to her body, "But only in pleasure, I maybe bleeding a little but that's ok; it was worth it" she said kissing her. 

Janet immediately went into Doctor mode and pushed herself away from Sam. "I need to look." 

"Sure but then I'm giving you pleasure baby" she whispered dreamily and kicked the covers off them and raised her legs feeling Janet's hands on her knees. She opened one eye and smiled, "I know, relax and open up" and closed her eyes contented. 

Janet moved off the bed and went to the bathroom retrieving a towel. She pushed the towel against Sam's vagina applying pressure to stop what little bleeding was there. After a few minutes she removed the towel and was happy that the bleeding had stopped. This was a bad thing to do, Sam wasn't ready. Janet stood and went back into the bathroom shutting the door behind her. She threw the towel in the hamper and with cold water running splashed it over her heated face. She looked long and hard at her reflection not liking what was looking back. 

When Janet came back Sam was gone, as was a blanket and a pillow. The door was closed securely and Carter had grabbed her boots, she was planning on sleeping out on the patio. All she had wanted was to feel love, need love again and she made Janet hurt her and now...now she was up there blaming herself and no matter how much she told her it wasn't her fault she wouldn't believe her. 

Janet closed her eyes and let a single tear fall; everything had been going so well and then this. She picked up her pajama's that were thrown across the room when they had sex and once again pulled them on. She padded her way down the stairs and to the kitchen noticing Sam sitting outside. She turned on no lights and in the kitchen started some coffee. She wasn't going to let Sam know she was up. Rising out of the chair she was in while waiting for the coffee to finish she kept the pot on warm while she poured herself a cup. Unable to sleep it was time to work and she thumbed threw book after book trying to find something, anything that might help. 

It had to be close to four am and Sam still hadn't slept, oh she was tired but as she sat huddled in the blanket she was freezing but she couldn't go inside...she'd forced Janet to think she hurt her and now the woman she loved more than life itself hurt because of her. Maybe her last lover years ago had been right, she had too many hang ups to be a catch to anyone and the thing to do would be to get out of the relationship before she hurt Janet so much she wanted to kill herself. 

Janet was getting more and more frustrated with each text to looked at. She was already on her seventh cup of coffee and fourth text. Without the correct answers she couldn't help save her patient and she wasn't ready to let another one die, especially this one that still had a huge tie to this world and life. Out of frustration Janet softly screamed and threw the book across the room. The answers hard to be here they had to be. She pulled another one off the case and began at the beginning. 

The thud woke up Sam who was against the outside wall in a chair and immediately she stood up and moved inside going to the study but paused to nod to Cassie and Kira who were at the foot of the stairs, "It's ok" she promised and turned the doorknob and entered closing it. "Janet stop" she ordered, "You didn't hurt me, I hurt me but I don't regret it. Let's go to bed, please." 

"This isn't about that," Janet retorted grabbing for another book. 

Dropping the blanket Sam came up and grabbing the book dropping it and took Janet's hands, "No it's about you and Jennifer. You can't fix this Janet," she said almost sounding cold but she needed her to understand this. "You're helping her, you'll take care of Kira for her and that helps her. But she's going to die Janet...she IS" Sam said forcing Fraiser to look at her, "Going to die. Say it" she ordered. 

"I'm not going to loose another patient," Janet argued and reached for the book next to her. "There is a scared little girl upstairs that needs her mother and I'm the one that has to try to make sure that continues to happen." 

Sam hated to do this but she had no choice when Janet got like this. If she didn't deal with the reality it would eat her up and she took the book and threw it across the room and grabbed Fraiser's arms holding them by her sides, "There is a scared girl upstairs who KNOWS her mother is going to die and that there is nothing...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about it. Go help her, help her deal with that reality Janet. Jennifer is going to die say that...come on" she said releasing one arm and grabbed her chin angrily, "SAY IT" she hollered. 

"I'm not ready to give up on her yet. There's a way, there's got to be a way. I just need to find it." Janet was starting to get a little angry. She needed to find the answers but didn't have a lot of time to spend look and now Sam was stopping her keeping her from looking. 

"Janet" she said staring at her intently with her blue eyes, "I've never lied to you, not when it mattered. You cannot save Jennifer she is going to die. Be with Kira, help her." 

"I'm a Doctor it is my job to heal the sick and to not hurt those in pain," Janet yelled back. 

"And you're helping me" came Kira's tiny voice. 

Both women spun around, "Kira" Sam said releasing her lover. "I'll leave you two talk" she finished and walked over picking up her blanket and headed for the door. 

Janet pinched the bridge of her nose and started to immerse herself in her texts. "There's a lot of work I'm trying to get done so why don't you go back to sleep or talk to Sam. Ok honey?" Janet kept her voice soft and loving not wanting to hurt Kira. "I need to see if there is something I can do to help your mom." 

"She's right Janet," the girl said coming up slowly, "Please, come back to bed. You're helping mom, by helping me." 

"I can't honey. Just go back to sleep, Sam will let you lay with her, she likes it." Janet couldn't bare look at Kira, to see the hurt there. 

Lowering her head the girl thought and shook her head, "I won't watch this tumor take..." she cried then, "Two people I love. If you love me" she said holding out her hand, "Stop and admit you can't help mom, say it Janet." 

Janet grabbed the extended hand and pulled Kira to her. "I do love you honey with all my heart," Janet said softly hugging her close. "But I am not willing to let your mother die. There has to be something that can be done. I just have to find it." She brushed tears of the girl's cheek gently wiping them away. 

Kira held her tightly and then pulled back to meet her eyes, "You told me early on the truth Janet, don't...lie to me now. Mom is going to die, she and I know this and we need; we want you to know that too. Let this go." 

"Damn it," Janet yelled and stood up and stormed out of the study. She grabbed her coat and purse and got in her car, started the engine and pulled onto the road. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital  
Rivers Recovery Room

Sergeant Jennifer Rivers rolled over in her bed and was surprised to see a dark shadow sitting in a chair in the corner and stiffened, "Can I help you?" she asked sleepily. 

"No," Janet replied hoarsely as she continued to sit. 

Relaxing a little Jennifer sat up and turned on a light to pour herself a glass of water when she saw Janet, she was still in her coat and she looked to have been crying. Rising she went over to kneel beside her, "Doctor are you all right? I can page someone and...." 

"No, I'm fine. Just peachy actually," she retorted. "Sorry to have bothered you. I'll leave." Janet began to stand up so she could leave not sure why she was even there. 

"Bull" the woman said and actually pushed her senior officer down in her chair. "You've been crying Janet, so don't give me the lies all right? What's wrong? Are Kira and the others ok?" 

"Kira, Cassie they are fine," Janet stated. "Can you stand aside so I can leave?" She tried to stand once more. 

"I could yes but I won't" the woman said with a smile and literally climbed up and sat on a superior officers lap. "I really hope I get a copy of the report when you press charges Major" she winked and wrapped one hand around Janet and saw her looking at her like she was nuts. "If you get tired of being a pillow we can move to the bed but tell me why you're here in the middle of the night." 

"I took off out of the house and this is where I wound up," Janet answered. "Now let me up please. I don't want to ask again." Janet was going to make another retort when her cell rang and instead of looking at the caller ID she answered it. "Fraiser." 

"Janet it's Sam" she said quickly, "Kira is crying until I called and made sure you were safe. Cassie is sitting with her. Are you safe?" 

"I'm fine, just perfectly fine," Janet said angrily. 

Sighing the woman nodded, Janet had to fight the battle this time alone but she'd be there when she needed her, "I'll tell the girls. They and I love you Janet, very much. Bye" and hung up the phone. 

"Janet" Jennifer said and still sat on her, "Talk to me. You told me we were friends; I want to be your friend. Why did you come here tonight?" 

"You are my friend Jennifer," Janet sighed maybe this would work. "I had to get some texts from my office. I stopped in her to make sure you are sleeping all right or if you needed something. I didn't mean to disturb you." Jane managed to get it all out with a straight face. 

Staring at Janet the woman shook her head and laid her head on Fraiser's shoulder and held her, "You're lying Janet. You don't tear out of your house in the middle of the night when you could have called in to the nurse first. What happened at the house?" 

"Sam and I had a little altercation," Janet admitted. "It's nothing but I needed to leave and give her time." 

"About what" the woman asked not realizing how ridiculous they looked on the monitors outside. 

"Just having to do with out relationship," Janet said. "Can we not talk about this? It's not something I really want to share with people even friends." She paused then added," It's not something I am proud of doing either. So why don't you get up and I can get my texts." 

Jennifer started to rise and then stopped, staring at Fraiser a bit confused for a moment, "You were fighting with them about me weren't you" she demanded. 

"Not entirely," was the soft reply. 

"But it's the main part of it yes" she asked still sitting on her boss. 

"Partly," was the bitter reply? "I really don't want to have this conversation." 

"But we're going to" Rivers stated in the same no nonsense tone that Janet had used on her early on and that she had seen her do before. "Do you want to tell me what happened or do I call your house and ask Major Carter or even Kira? She'd tell me and you know it." 

Janet remained quiet not saying a word. 

"Ok" she said rising but kept her eyes on Janet as she started to pick up the phone extension. 

Free from Jennifer sitting on her Janet stood and left the room letting the door shut loudly behind her. Not wanting to remain at the hospital Janet got in her car and headed to one of the local bars. 

Fraiser Residence

It was late that next morning when Sam heard footsteps or maybe it was stumbling. She'd worried sick, the girls had cried half the night and Jennifer had cried on the phone to her for over two hours when she told her what was going on. Sam had left God knew how many messages on the woman's phone and she sat up groggily seeing Janet stumble in, she was drunk and it was a miracle she got home, "I hope you didn't drive in that condition." 

"The cars in the driveway," Janet retorted heading to her study. 

Following her Sam watched her coldly and shook her head disgusted, "Janet you terrified a lot of people last night. I all but had General Hammond and the base looking for you. The girls were dead on their feet when I got them up for school, Kira was still crying and Jennifer...she had to finally be sedated according to the doctor that called here for you. I hope you're proud of yourself" she said disgusted. "I was terrified out of my mind but I suppose when you're hurting it doesn't matter who loves you. Kira will be going home with her mom and I'm going to go stay on base until you decide you can talk to me. Cassie is welcome to come with me if she wants to" she snapped and then turned and headed up to the bedroom to shower, change and pack. 

"So I'm the bad guy now. Is that it?" Janet asked angrily. 

But there was no answer because Sam was upstairs, the girls were in school and Jennifer was not there and unconscious. 

Janet headed up the stairs into her room and repeated her question so Sam could here. "So I'm the bad guy now is that it?" She asked angrily. 

"For feeling how you do no you aren't" Sam answered as she packed, "For scaring me, Jennifer, Cassandra and a little girl who thinks you hate her right now then yes" she said facing her for a moment before going back to the dresser "Yes you're at fault for that Janet. I want to help but you push me away and I understand you're hurting but that little girl, Cass didn't do anything but love you." 

"I also said I was fine when you called" Janet said in her defense. 

"So fine you lay drunk all night instead of coming home to your family ignoring the phone I left the messages on" she demanded going into the bathroom to get some personal things. "I can't fight the battle for you, Cassie and Kira. They are both terrified, Kira says you hate her and you don't really love her. How in hell" she demanded angry and came into the bedroom, "Do I explain you don't hate her and you just needed to get drunk more than be there for her?" 

"What am I suppose to do Sam? Tell me. Cause I don't know how to deal with any of this," Janet said angrily. "I am trying to help Kira the best way I know how before last night but it wasn't quite good enough. You know how I feel about loosing a patient. And that patient is a friend none the less." She paused a moment before continuing what she had to say next being the hardest to admit to. "And then there's you and our relationship and the fact that regardless of what you wanted I went against every instinct as a Doctor and because I did that I hurt you again." With nothing left to say she sank down onto her knees. 

Watching her lover Sam Carter's heart broke and she came over sinking down in front of her but didn't reach for her, "First off Janet you need to talk to Jennifer, like she tried t get you to do last night and you're doing EVERYTHING you can for her. You are not God" she insisted. "Secondly don't you dare downgrade our relationship in the way you just did ever again" she ordered. "I love you, I wanted last night to happen and I said yes. Perhaps I should have said no, perhaps you should have said no but I didn't want either of us too. I needed you and you were there but it was a joint choice Janet, not solely yours alone. This is a relationship not Janet's dictatorship. Do you understand me?" 

Janet simply buried her face in her hands and cried. It was hours later when she opened her eyes again to find herself clean, changed into a nightgown and covered up in her bed at the house. 

Sam came in seconds later caring a tray of soup and crackers with coffee and Tylenol, "Feeling better my love?" 

"Other than feeling like an asshole and the worse person in the world. OK I guess. I don't know anymore," Janet admitted not making eye contact. "I'm not even sure why your still here after I treated you like shit." 

"For the same reason you are still there when I do" she answered sitting the tray over her legs, "Because I love you. Now take your Tylenol, you have visitors." 

"I'm not really in a visiting mood Sam," Janet said sadly not realizing it was the girls. She took the Tylenol and swallowed them dry. 

"Well you're getting them anyway" she claimed, "But after you eat" she said sitting beside her and picked up the spoon. "Drink your coffee Janet, then the juice," she said spooning out some soup and blowing on it. "Open up." 

"You don't need to feed me." She took a long drink of her coffee savoring the taste and warmth. 

"I don't need to no, I want to" Sam insisted and when Janet protested shoved the spoon in her mouth and dumped the soup down her throat. "Good girl" she stated and got another bite. "Now open." 

Janet just took the offered spoon and remained quiet. It didn't do any good to argue anyways so what's the point? 

After lunch Sam laid out a short outfit for her, "Get a shower, then changed and I'll meet you downstairs. Hurry up." 

"And if I just want to lay in bed all day," Janet said and softly added. "With you." 

"I can bring your visitors up," she offered holding the tray. "Do you want me to do that Janet?" 

"I want to lay with you in bed that's all." She smiled. 

Smiling Sam leaned down and kissed her, "I'll go get rid of this tray and send the guests up all right? After that we can do whatever you want Janet." 

"Give me another kiss before you go. Please?" she asked almost shyly. 

Kissing her again Sam left and soon there was Kira and Cassie. The latter ran over and hugged her, happy that she was safe but Kira just remained standing formally and nodded. 

"Mom I love you so much...I was so worried...what happened? You wouldn't answer the phone and...." Cassie began. 

"I'm sorry honey," Janet said sadly. "It wasn't my intention to worry any of you." She kissed her daughters cheek then turned and opened her arms to Kira. "Come here." 

"I..." she lowered her head, "Are you all right?" 

"I will be honey. Come here," Janet, said again keeping her arms open. "I'm not mad or angry with you at all. This is none of your fault." 

"I..." Kira shook her head lightly, "I'm glad you're ok. Excuse me" she said and turned running out, almost knocking Sam over and went to lock herself in the guest bedroom. 

Sighing Carter nodded, "She's been like that since you left Janet; I don't know how to help her." 

"You can't" Cassie said and looked at her mother, "Only you can" and she stood up. "I'll wait with Aunt Sam." 

Janet got out of bed and walked over to Cassie giving her a kiss then one to Sam. "This may take a while. Can you make some hot tea?" She didn't wait for an answer just went straight for the guest bedroom. She tried the door and found it locked. She knocked softly before speaking. "Kira honey can you please unlock the door?" 

"Go away" came the crying reply. 

"I'm not going to do that. I made that mistake once and I'm not making it a second time. So please open the door or I'm going to sit out here till you do." 

A long two minutes passed and then finally the door unlocked but the girl didn't speak or open the door and went back to the corner in the darkened room and buried her face on her knees, fighting the tears. 

Hearing the door unlocked Janet turned the knob and pushed it open making sure to close it behind her. "Honey. I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you," Janet said softly coming to sit in front of Kira. "Please believe me." 

The girl didn't look up and she scooted a little farther into the corner, "You...promised. You said...nothing would happen...that you'd always be there. You told me that and you lied. My fault, if I hadn't come...you wouldn't have left." 

"That's not true Kira," Janet said. "I left because of me and only me. I don't like to loose a patient and when I do or know I will be its very hard for me to accept. I begin to think that I am a bad doctor and that maybe I shouldn't be one anymore." She hung her head in shame. "I don't know if you could understand that or not. Knowing I can't save your mother makes me feel like a bad doctor and like I am letting you down because she is being taken away from you. And on top of it I hurt Sam but not purposely. I still see it as bad that I hurt her. So see none of this is your fault. And I'm very, very sorry I lied to you." 

Sniffing the girl looked up, unsure if she could believe her again, "I wanted...you to stay...I needed you Janet and you left me. What did I do to make people leave me" she demanded burying her face tightly, the tears and sobs so loud it was hard for her to breath. 

Janet moved swiftly and held Kira tightly in her arms. "I'm so, so sorry honey. Can you ever forgive?" She asked her own tears falling. 

"I...I didn't think...you loved me anymore" she said against Janet as she now had her face buried in her chest crying. 

"Honey I'll always love you and there is nothing that can change that fact. It's just that some things that are happening are very difficult for me emotionally and morally," Janet was whispering now since her head was so close to Kira's and she had started to rock them both. 

Clinging to Janet the girl cried, she cried so hard he face hurt, "I...don't...want...to loose...you too" she sobbed. 

"You're not going to loose me I promise," Janet said crying herself. "Shhh. It's OK now." 

Minutes later Sam came in with the tea that Janet had wanted and smiled, "We're all going to lay in the bedroom when you're ready. Here's your tea Janet." 

"Thank you," Janet said hoarsely. All this crying was taking its toll on her voice and playing havoc with her complexion. 

With a nod the woman retreated and shut the door. 

Kira sniffled as she straitened up, "Can I have a drink Janet?" 

"Of course," Janet said sweetly handling Kira the cup. "Careful its still a bit hot." 

Taking a few sips she nodded and handed it back before standing up and adopting a stance, "And now don't you EVER run off again. Do you know how scared we were? What we thought? You could have been hurt, killed and then what...then where would we all be without you. You really acted like an idiot." 

Janet laughed as Kira took on a motherly act and she stood up in front of the young girl. "I know honey and I am really sorry I did. I just hope that maybe someday you can forgive me." 

"You're forgiven" she said without hesitation and held out her hand wiping her eyes, "Come on, let's go to bed because I didn't get much sleep last night." 

"I don't think anyone did and that's all my fault," Janet said kissing Kira's cheek as she took her hand. 

Going into the bedroom Kira helped Janet in the middle and she laid on one side wrapping an arm over Fraiser and Cassie on the other to wrap her arm over Janet; both not wanting to risk it was a dream and they were imagining it. Sam lay beside Cassie and lay her arm over the girl and onto Janet's belly, "No more running off Janet or next time I'm going to call out the nearest battalion to tear the city apart." 

"No more running away I promise," Janet said kissing each of her girls' foreheads and squeezing Sam's hand. "I love you all very much and I'm very sorry." She tried to keep the tears from her eyes and the pain out of her voice. 

Kira snuggled up and pressed her head against Janet's neck and then leaned up and kissed her cheek, "We love you, no need to be sorry" she said and then settled back. 

Sam smiled, "Yeah what she said." 

Janet closed her eyes as a few tears fell. She was blessed to have such a loving family. They all fell asleep in each other's arms. 

SGC Complex  
Infirmary

It was eight days later, Kira and Jennifer were back together and the woman was starting her chemo so she was working half days. Sam was going back to work today if Janet ok'd it and as she stood with her pants around her ankles behind the curtain and then heard the sound she knew so well she tensed when she heard Janet telling to relax. Sighing the woman nodded and...."Mmmm..." 

Before Sam knew it Janet was done. "Ok you can put you pants on know." Janet said. "Even though I like the view," she whispered into Sam's ear from behind her breath ruffling a few hairs as she spoke. 

Blushing a little Sam pulled her pants up and turned around, "I'd rather have you doing it without the medical surroundings but I'll take what I can get" she said buckling her pants. "So how do I look in back and front Janet?" 

"Hot," Janet said with a smile. "Oh wait you meant medical wise didn't you?" 

"Unless you want to explain hot to Colonel O'Neil on my clearance form yes" she answered with a smile. 

Janet just flashed Sam one of her brightest smiles. "You have made a complete recovery with no help from your lover," Janet realized what she had said and tried to stop Sam's arguing. "I know it wasn't my fault. I just feel bad that you got hurt because of something we did." 

"Well just think of how much fun we'll have when I'm back" she promised and nodded taking her clearance slip and headed out. 

Colonel Jack O'Neil strolled into the Infirmary to meet his XO and saw her walking toward him and the way she was walking he smiled, "Got the finger did ya Carter?" 

"None of your business Sir" she answered and glanced at Janet, "Am I cleared to go?" 

"Colonel I got your finger right here Sir," Janet said playfully and flipped him off. "Yes you're clear." 

Sam blushed lightly and nodded, "See you down there Sir." 

"Uh yeah Carter" the man said confused and approached, "Doc you don't know I was only joking right" he asked as she yanked the curtain around the bed. 

"Didn't seem like you were joking to me Sir," Janet said as she laid a huge needle down on the tray just for O'Neil. She pulled on her gloves letting them snap as she got them into place. "Are you ready Sir?" 

"Now...now DOC" he cried like a baby from behind the curtain as all the medical staff had smiles on their faces They knew not to antagonize the Doc and by picking on Carter that antagonized her. "DOC you don't have to do that test...come on, cut me a break here for cryin' out loud." 

"Abby," Janet called from behind the curtain. "I think the Colonel here needs to be probed. Can you prep the camera for me?" 

"Yes ma'am" she called not moving because she knew Fraiser was kidding. "We only have the extra large ready, is that ok?" 

"DDDDDOOOOOOOCCCCCCC" O'Neil hollered not believing his ears. 

"That will work fine," Janet said. "It might be a tight fit initially but I think he will loosen up after a few minutes." 

"DDDDDDDOOOOOOOCCCCCC" the man called as Janet ordered him to loosen his belt. 

Fraiser Residence

After a particular stressful mission several weeks later Sam and Janet were finally alone. They had a nice romantic dinner and then a joint bubble. Since it was late and they were alone both were naked but Sam had gone downstairs to get something, she had made it and kept it hidden in the freezer for her lover and was going to use it and have it used on both of them tonight. 

Entering the room Sam kept the dripping ice sculptured eight-inch dildo firmly in her hand and behind her back. Seeing her lover lying on the bed she came over and crawled onto her legs forcing them open with her knees and smiled before she winked, "Ready for your surprise baby doll?" 

"What exactly do you have behind your back Samantha?" Janet questioned drawing out her name. 

"A surprise" she promised. Carefully Sam crawled under the covers and hit the dildo as she buried her face in her lovers crotch, "You smell so wonderful Janet." 

"Sam I want you up here," Janet said as she tugged on blond hair. 

"Be up in a second" she commented. The heat coming from her lover as she licked her love button made Sam hot, the bed and her hand feeling the dripping water...the ice water that would make her lover come so quickly. Sliding her tongue down her slit she paused to push it inside as far as she could, wiggling it once in there which resulted in tickling Janet in her most intimate hole. 

"Sa...am," Janet cried as she arched up and tugged once more on blond hair. 

Listening to her lover plead Sam slid her one finger up Fraiser's sopping wet vagina, coating it so it was nice and slick before sliding it farther down while gently running the icy tip over her lover's slit. The heat from Janet's sex melted it instantly and then icy water covered her and the bed, "Do you want this Janet? Really want this my love" she panted and leaned forward to push her tongue over her lovers button again and sucked, pulling it into her mouth and lightly bit it, twisting it from side to side. 

Janet spread her legs farther apart inviting Sam in more. "Yes," she panted and her hands fisted in the sheets until her fingers hurt then she released the sheet and moved her hands to play with her own breast. 

Bringing the dripping, icy, clear love stick to Janet's entrance Sam leaned up enough to rest her head on her lovers stomach and turned kissing it feeling the woman sliding her hands under her chest for her breasts, "Ready my love?" 

"Yes," Jnaet panted. 'Please. Need you Sam." 

At the declaration Sam smiled and pushed, the dildo going in between her hot folds and up into Janet's love hole and at the same time she slid her secretion coated finger up her lovers ass as far as it would go, forcing it at first and felt the smooth walls of her rectum but also the muscles contracting and heard Janet gasp, "For you my love" she whispered licking her stomach again as she pushed the ice and her finger a little farther inside her lovers holes, "So lovely." 

"Sam," Janet cried as she grabbed the hand at her ass and pulled Sam up to her. 

Afraid that she was hurting her or forcing her the woman eased the pressure a little, maybe she hadn't guessed right how to please her lover and.... 

"Not there," Janet said softly her hips continuing to move with each thrust Sam made with the ice dildo. 

A bit hurt Carter pulled the dildo from her and rolled over and off her setting it down in the floor and started to gather her clothes, "I...I just remembered I'm needed at the base Janet. I'm sorry" she said heading into the bathroom and locked the door, only then did she let the tears fall as she dressed quickly. 

"Sam would you listen to me. I need you to open the door and open it now," Janet demanded try to remain calm. 

Taking two more minutes to get ready and making it look like she hadn't been crying Carter opened the door and danced around her naked lover to get out, "Excuse me Janet" she said softly and went to the end of the bed to put her socks and shoes on. "I don't know when I'll be home. I can't believe I forgot about this, shows how smart I am I guess." 

Janet stood in front of her lover and pushed her so she was lying on the bed then she moved to straddle the slender hips. "Sam listen to me please," Janet, said softly concern in her eyes. "Will you listen?" 

Putting her hands on the woman's hips she rolled her off her and sat up to finish putting her shoes on, "Sure Janet, I'm listening. What is it?" she asked pulling her sweaty and dirty sock on but she wasn't about to take the time to get clean ones. 

"Damn it Sam. I wasn't saying stop," Janet said as a slight blush appeared on her neck. She was finding what she had to say next to be the hardest. "I don't like it in the ass," she whispered embarrassed but she still knew Sam had heard her. "I can't do it there." She turned and left heading into the bathroom letting the door half close behind her as she sat on the edge of the bathtub crying. 

~And I should have known that~ she thought sadly and tied her boot going to right a note. Leaving it on Janet's pillow she grabbed her jacket off the floor and headed out to go to work, it was almost midnight but what the hell. 

Janet had thought Sam would have followed after her to find out why but she didn't. When she returned to the bedroom she found Sam had left and a note on her pillow. She sat on the edge of the bed and read the note. 

Janet, I'm sorry I hurt you and wanted to share something I thought special. I'm sure you have your reasons and I should have respected that. I love you. Sam 

Janet got up and picked up the half melted ice dildo and placed it in the bathroom sink before stripping the bed of the wet sheets. When she finished making the bed she headed downstairs and sat on the coach in the dark crying. 

SGC Complex  
Control Room

Because of embarrassment and stupidity Sam Carter pushed herself so much she had looked like death warned over on duty. She'd been avoiding Janet when at all possible because she couldn't stand to see the look telling her how sick she was staring back at her. She normally didn't come home until after midnight and she knew Janet would be in bed. Sam would then sleep on the sofa and be gone by five the next morning so that she didn't have to subject the woman she loved to her disgusting form and ideas. 

Fraiser's Office

Janet was told that Sam would be spending the day working in the control room so she sat in her office writing Sam a letter. When she finished she left it in a sealed envelope in Sam's lab where she would find it and headed home. 

Carter's Lab

Coming from the control room finally Sam Carter tossed her files on her desk and they fell in the floor. Shaking her head tiredly the woman knelt down and started to pick them up when she saw the letter and carefully stood up opening it, the files already forgotten. 

Dear Sam, 

I'm sorry if my ability to not perform the way you want has disgusted you. I had hoped we would be able to work through this but I can see that's not what you want since you keep going to length to avoid me. I will ask one of the girls to sleep with me so you can have a bed and no longer be sleeping on the couch. Yes I have known that's where you have been sleeping when you come home after midnight. 

If you would have asked I could have explained my reasons but they don't matter anymore. I'm just sorry I'm not who and what you thought I was. I didn't mean to disappoint you. It was good while it lasted and I will always love you. 

Forever Love, Janet. 

Fraiser Residence

Forgetting how tired she was Sam raced out of the mountain, almost knowing SF's and even Colonel O'Neil and Daniel over on the way. She called out she was sorry and made it home in record time. Sighing she tossed her cell phone in the car and raced inside seeing Kira and Cassie in the living room watching TV. Nodding she took the steps three at a time and headed for the master bedroom seeing Janet sitting on the bed, "What do you mean disgusted in you? Are you crazy?" she demanded throwing the letter on the bed and knelt in front of her. "What the hell gave you that idea Janet?" 

"What gave me that idea Sam," Jane asked perplexed. "You took off and left when I asked you not there not to mention you were pissed. You have been avoiding me at every turn for what the last four days or so and you wont return a phone call or email." She stood walking to the window. "To me that sounds like it's over that you want nothing to do with me. And that's fine, I respect that decision you made I just wish you would have told be outright instead of avoiding me." She wasn't going to cry she needed to be strong Janet mentally recited over and over desperate to believe it. 

"Is that really what you think" she demanded and put her hands on the woman's arm looking over at her. She should have talked about this days ago but "God Janet it isn't you...I was avoiding you because I wanted to spare you having to look at someone one like me. After what I did, how I disgusted you I wanted to spare those feelings for you because I love you so much it hurts. Knowing I hurt you there were a lot of times driving I thought about just wrapping the car around a tree, driving off a cliff because it would be easier" Sam said a single tear trailing down her cheek. "I didn't want you to have to look at me after I hurt you last time." 

Janet didn't turn away from the window when she spoke. "If you would have been looking at me when I tried to explain this that night you would have only seen fear of loosing you and love. Never once did disgust enter or factor in on my part. And if you had killed yourself you would have taken a piece of me with you leaving only an empty shell. This family would have fallen apart and Kira and Cassie would have been the once to pay for it." She walked away from the window to stop by the dresser. "You didn't hurt me because I stopped it the minute you entered me. There was never any pain just a bad memory that I have tried to suppress and hide from you. But do what you want now you can be free if that's how you feel." Janet walked away into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. 

Sighing Sam looked out the window thinking of what the woman said and realizing she had acted like a complete SOB she headed into the bathroom and knelt by the tub, "I'm an insecure idiot and a prick to top it off" she said stroking Janet's hand. "What I want is you Janet, just to hold you and tell you how much I love you. I'm sorry I let my pride get in the way and my own stupid memories. I'm sorry I'm such a worthless piece of shit, I'm sorry I am no good as a lover who..." 

"You're not worthless and your a great lover," Janet said softly tears falling. "You just didn't know. You couldn't have known." 

"You're wrong" she admitted looking up and used her thumb to wipe the tears from Janet's eye, "You told me before you didn't like it anal and I...well I thought I could make it so special. I'm sorry I didn't but..." she lowered her head a moment, "I'm not sorry I tried to bring you pleasure." 

"I'm sorry I'm fucked up and tainted and can't be the perfect lover you want and need," Janet said rising off the tub and trying to walk away. 

"GOD NO" Carter hollered and jumped up standing in front of Janet, "You're perfect in so many ways Janet. You're gorgeous, sexy, sensual, intelligent, compassionate, devoted, mindful, lovely, passionate, beautiful, meaningfully, caring, magnificent and you have the most lovely body...just the thought of you gets me sopping wet" she promised and opened her arms a little. "Forgive me for being such a complete jerk, please? I need you Janet, I want you and I love you so much. You're my world, my center, my universe." 

Janet didn't move or say anything knowing the tears would really fall hard if she tried to speak, all she was capable of was nodding and that's how Sam got he answer. 

Without a word Sam scooped her up in her arms and held her as she spun her with a smile before leaving the bathroom and carried her to the window, the evening sun hitting them both, "I love you Janet Fraiser, with all that I am I love you." 

Janet wrapped her arms around Sam's neck as she picked her up and buried her face under the blonds chin. "I love you too. You're my soul." Janet managed to get out before the tears started to fall and she shook with each sob she let out. 

The two lovers were of one mind, one body and soul as they had passion, fire and sex until both had fallen asleep in each other's arms. 

Several hours later Sam woke up and yawned glancing over in her arms to see Janet resting, sleeping and looking so beautiful. Lifting her head a little she saw it was after nine o'clock and one of them needed to go check on the girls and such but she didn't want to move. She just wanted to hold Janet forever. 

Still deep in sleep Janet sniggled closer into Sam's side and wrapper her arms tighter around the toned body. She was happy she had her love with her. 

Rivers Apartment

Several days later Janet was making a house call on Jennifer Rivers since she had taken the day off after chemotherapy that morning. When she knocked no one answered but a weak, "Come in, it's open" greeted her. Jennifer was lying on the couch on her stomach, covered in a blanket with her head buried under some pillows, "Who is it" she asked tiredly. 

"It's just me," Janet said softly. "I came to see how your treatment went this morning and to see how you were feeling. Some people get really sick after the first few treatments." Janet walked so that she was near the coach and knelt down. 

A sigh greeted her, "Yeah that would be me in the last category" she admitted and swallowed hard, "Don't go in the bathroom until I clean up in there, you won't like...the smell ma'am." 

Janet stood and went into the kitchen coming back with a damp towel she placed it across Jennifer's forehead. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"Shoot me but there would be an inquiry" she offered with a small smile. "Doctor Stewarts said this was expected but wasn't expecting it to be so bad" she mumbled. 

"It's not something easy to go through that's for sure," Janet said soothingly. "But you have friends that are here to help in any way. Except the shooting aspect." She took a seat on the floor near Jennifer's head and kept brushing back strands of hair and she readjusted the damp cloth. "Just let me know if you need anything." 

Hiding a burp the woman nodded closing her eyes, "If you...have something for an upset stomach?" 

"Not on me but I'll run to the store and get you something. We'll try an herbal remedy first and see if that works before giving you more medicine." Janet stood getting her purse before she headed to the store for what she needed. 

By the time she got back Jennifer wasn't on the sofa but the retching in the bathroom drew her and when she entered Kira was rubbing her mom's back, "Hi Janet, mom isn't feeling well." 

"You got that right," the woman said sighing and pulled back to sit in the floor closing her eyes. 

"I know honey I was here a little while ago," Janet said. "Keep rubbing your mom's back it will help her feel a little better. I'm going to be in the kitchen and as soon as you stop for a few minutes you can take something." Janet bag in hand headed for the kitchen and began making a bizarre drink for Jennifer that would hopefully help calm her stomach. She returned a few minutes later to find them both still in the bathroom but the vomiting and dry heaving had stopped. "Drink this." 

Eying the glass the woman looked up with a weird look, "You're kidding?" 

"She's not kidding" Kira stated and smiled. "Come on mom, she's a great doctor so..." 

"Yeah, yeah" the woman commented chuckling tiredly, "Since when did you convert her to your cause Doctor" she asked and sipped the drink, it tasted awful. 

"It may taste nasty and look weird but it should do the trick," Janet stated. "When you were away I converted her. It was pretty easy just needed to let her wait on me hand and foot and she did everything I would say," Janet joked giving Kira a hug. 

Hugging her Kira nodded, "She did a lot more than I did mom." 

Taking a drink the woman swallowed it, "She always does but you have to stop feeding her so much baby; she's getting soft in the middle." 

"OH you're paying for that," the girl said and smiled letting Fraiser go. "Get her Janet." 

"I wont make her pay today since she is sick after all but just you wait missy. Your day will come," Janet warned shaking a finger at Jennifer. "How are you feeling now?" 

"Better" she confided and smiled, "Think I can go back to the couch" she said handing Kira the tea and stood up or started to. 

Janet reached out and steadied Jennifer keeping her from falling over. "Walk slow and don't worry I've got you," Janet's soft voice rang. "Kira why don't you get your mom some water. We need to keep her hydrated or back in the hospital she goes." 

"You just like having me under lock and key" the woman joked as they moved toward the sofa and Kira left to get water. When she came back she thanked her daughter and sipped it, "Kira you should start your homework." 

"Darn I've been figured out," Janet said with a smile. "Is there anything I can get or do for you before I head out?" 

She shook her head lightly, "No thanks, I'll be ok with Kira." 

"I'll start dinner mom" the girl said and hugged Janet, "See you for dinner tomorrow night and don't forget to pick up taco shells." 

"Ok," Janet replied. "What time do you want us to come by tomorrow? And cook something light for your mom. The foods that leave you feeling heavy will make her sick to her stomach." 

"Soups and salads Janet, I know" Kira stated with a nod and went to the kitchen. 

Sighing Jennifer looked back to her daughter's retreating form, "This is so hard on her. She's trying to be strong but she doesn't do anything but go to work...Who ever heard of a twelve year old working and doing all the cooking and housework" she demanded a bit angry at herself and closed her eyes before she rubbed her face tiredly. "She's aging so much just having to take care of me, I should be taking care of her." 

"Its not easy I'll admit but by letting her help even if it's just the cooking and cleaning makes her feel better. Like she isn't useless." Janet rubbed her arm. "She will still have fun trust me on that. I think Cassie and Sam would be willing to lend a hand on that front." 

"I'm sure they would" Jennifer stated with a nod. "Do me a favor, tomorrow try to get her to have some fun would you? I work the late shift so she's supposed to stay the night with you guys ma'am." 

"I'll have Sam do something with her. They need some bonding time I think and I should spend some alone time with Cassie," Janet insured. "She will have fun I'm not sure what she will be doing but Sam is a big kid herself. Tell Kira to meet with Cassie tomorrow and one of use will pick them up from school. Just rest and take it easy. You're almost through the hard part." 

Giving a smile Jennifer reached over and squeezed Fraiser's hand tightly nodding, "Thank you, for both of us Janet. Dying is a little easier knowing my baby is going to have someone to love her for me." 

"Don't worry. I'll make sure she is well taken care of," Janet smiled reassuringly and squeezed the hand back. 

"I know," she promised with a nod. 

Fraiser Residence

The next night Janet and Sam came home to find both Cassie and Kira fixing up four plates of homemade tacos and burritos, "Cassie we need more sour cream" Kira stated, neither having seen the women. 

"I'll get it" Cassandra volunteered and moved toward the refrigerator, "Hey do you think mom and Sam will want wine or juice with dinner?" 

"Juice probably since both are on call this weekend" Kira answered as she dumped the empty sour cream bowl in the sink. 

They entered quietly not letting the girls know they were home. "So where are you going to take Kira after dinner?" Janet asked softly. 

"Not sure" Sam admitted helping her lover off with her coat, "I offered the mall, roller skating, and a dozen other options over email but she emailed me back today and said she had homework and some stuff to do in addition to some cleaning up and such. Any ideas? What about you and Cassie, what are you two doing?" 

"We are just going to have some quiet mother daughter time. Maybe play a game or watch a movie," Janet said. "I'm really not sure but I feel as though I have started ignoring Cassie since I began taking care of Kira. I don't want there to be any problems between the two girls." 

Hanging up her own coat Sam pointed to the kitchen, "You saw them Janet, they aren't having problems and I love you that you're trying so hard but Cassie is a smart girl, she loves you and if she felt you were ignoring her I think she'd tell you" she promised wrapping her arms around the woman and pulled her toward her. "I love you and our family Janet." 

Janet returned the embrace giving Sam a quick kiss. "Do you want to still see about getting her to do something with you or just stay home? By the way, I thought you should know Kira likes computers." 

"Oh really" she asked and her eyes lit up, "I have just the thing then. I can get that new upgrade for your desktop I wanted too. Also I need that new monitor for the one in the office and...." 

Kira and Cassandra came in then and smiled, "They're cute aren't they" Cassie asked coming up and kissed both. 

"Adorable" Kira intoned and smiled kissing both like Cassie had. "I hope you two are hungry, we made a lot." 

"I'm starving and you know how Sam eats," Janet said flashing her lover a smile. "Just better make sure she is the last to get her plate or there won't be any left for the rest of us." Another quick kiss, "I have no objections if you wanted to go buy that stuff. Just don't go to over board. Only get what we need not what YOU want." Janet pulled away and started heading for the table to eat. 

Having a license to spend Sam put an arm over each girl's shoulders, "SO girls...we get to play switch tonight. Cassie you and your mom get to do whatever you want" she stated. 

"YAY" Cassandra hollered and ran over hugging her mom in a big bear hug in the middle of the floor, "Sorry, sorry." 

Giggling Sam glanced over at Kira, "And you and I can do whatever you want and before you say no" she said seeing her heading into the kitchen, "Janet just gave us license to spend at a favorite computer store of mine; you can help me pick out some gear and we can look at the laptops. I know the guy and he owes me favors so we can get some great deals." 

"Kira I'm trusting you to not let Sam spend to much money especially on stuff we don't need," Janet said serious. "She has a habit of going shop happy in there." Janet just laughed at the still giggling girl in her arms. "And what do you want to do missy?" 

"MOVIES" Cassandra giggled. "That new Kurt Russell movie just opened and he wears a loincloth and...." 

Smiling Kira came back with plates, "That sounds nice Sam but I should really clean up after dinner and check in with mom and I have homework and...." 

"Kira it's not your day to clean up so don't worry about that," Janet said. "I'm pretty sure Sam will stop by you place so you can see your mom." Janet shot her daughter a look. "Kurt Russell in a loincloth. Hmm. I don't think I care much for that image. I mean he isn't all that great looking." Janet joked. 

"MOTHER" Cassandra said exasperated as they all sat down to dinner. 

Four hours later two very happy and giggling teens were in their respective rooms with the days goodies and Sam and Janet were both lying down still dressed exhausted, "God I'm tired" Carter mumbled, she didn't have the strength to lift her arms. "Kira loved the computer store...then she wanted to go clothes shopping, shoe shopping, and eat the biggest banana split I have ever seen. After that we went to a fair that was at the mall and...." she moaned, "God that kid goes. What did you do with Cassie?" she asked. 

"I was able to talk Cassie into staying at home and giving me a foot massage," Janet joked and was hit by a pillow. "I was only playing. We went for a nice walk in the park. We also went by the video store and rented a couple of movies for either tonight or tomorrow." Janet sighed rolling her neck to release some of the tension. "I'm glad you and Kira had a good time. I hope you two will do more together." 

"You just want the nice calm one" Sam joked. 

At that moment two giggling girls ran in and dived on top of 'their' respective women, "OH God, they're back" Sam joked and saw Janet smiling. "Isn't it time for you two tag team players to get Janet? After all I gotta hook up all that new computer equipment and...." 

"You know the truck isn't delivering that until tomorrow" Kira told Sam smiling.' 

"What?" Janet asked looking wide eyed at Sam. "There better not be any truck delivering anything tomorrow or you are going to be in so much trouble." 

All three of them laughed and Kira climbed off and hopped over to Janet hugging her and rested her head on her shoulder, "Kidding, just kidding" she promised. 

"OK" Cassie said excited and jumped up grabbing a free hand, no idea whose. "Movie time, we have popcorn and sodas downstairs or juice and water and oh just about anything and ice cream so come on" she said pulling whoever she had a hold of up. 

"Cassie honey you can't keep pulling on my arm, youre going to pull it out of the socket," Janet said softly. "I can't move with someone laying across me. It just doesn't work that way." She took her free arm and wrapped it around Kira. "Why don't you get the movie ready and we will be right down." 

"Ok but I'm laying on someone" the girl said and got off Janet and put her arm around Cassandra's shoulders pulling her toward the door, "Come on Sis." 

Watching them leave Sam rolled over tiredly but used her one finger to trail across her lovers face, "I think tonight really worked out great Janet, you were right again. They love one another; already." 

"I'm constantly amazed by our little family," Janet said in awe. "We're all just kind of thrown together and it came out wonderful. More than I could have ever hoped for." 

"That comes from you" Sam insisted and leaned up to kiss her, taking a second to swirl her tongue in Janet's mouth before laying back. "You're a wonderful person Jan, we get our strength and love from you. Tonight I'm going to show you; after we get the kids in bed." 

"We better get down there before they come looking for us," Janet said standing up and pulling Sam into a sitting position. They headed downstairs and Janet took one end of the coach with Kira being held in her arms. "Thank you for going with Sam," she whispered in she whispered in her ear as she hugged her tighter. 

As the movie started Kira scooted over so that Janet could sit with Cassie and she sat with Sam. She'd found she liked the blond woman; she was fun and had a lot of great ideas. Once the movie ended the two girls were curled into their respective 'mom's for the night asleep. 

"I think we wore them out," Janet said softly smile at the sight of her lover and her new daughter curled up together. "I wish I had a camera right now. We really look like a family." 

"WE are a family," she stressed and rubbed Kira's back gently holding her, "How do we get them upstairs honey?" 

"They're too big for us to carry so we will just have to wake them up I guess." Janet began to nudge Cassie awake. "You need to head to bed to sleep honey. You're tired." 

Once the girls were in bed they switched with Sam going to say good night to Cassie and Janet to Kira who was coming out of the bathroom and smiled getting under the covers, "Thank you for today Janet." 

"You're welcome but I didn't do anything. You spent the time with Sam," Janet smiled. "If you give her a chance you'll find she loves you as much as I do. She just doesn't show it as easily." Janet kissed Kira's forehead. "Goodnight honey." She left heading into her room. 

Sam came in minutes later and smiled, "Today was a great day Janet, really great" she insisted and started to unbutton her shirt. 

"Kira was telling me how she enjoyed today. She told me thank you but it's you who should get that," Janet said already in her pajama's and reaching back to pull the chopsticks out of her hair. 

"She told me" Carter stated with a smile, "I told her it was you, not me. It was your idea to separate them tonight. So how is Sergeant Rivers doing?" she asked walking toward the bathroom. "She started her chemo today right?" 

"Yeah she did," Janet said sadly. "I stopped by earlier and she was sick. But that is to be expected. Chemo aggravates the stomach and excessive vomiting and dry heaving are the result. I made her an herbal tea and it seemed to help calm her stomach." 

"How long will she have to have the chemo" she called out to her lover. 

"She has an everyday treatment for the first two weeks. Then she goes down to once a week for a month or so," Janet informed. "All in all it depends on how she is responding to the treatment as to how long she will continue." 

Coming out Sam was buttoning up a blue pajama top, "I took my vitamins too. So you're monitoring her closely right?" 

"I'm trying too," Janet said. "I'm also trying to keep somewhat at a distance. I don't want to seem to over bearing in her eyes. I'm afraid that if I am she will shut me out completely again." Janet climbed into bed and lay on her side facing the window. 

"I think she trusts you" Carter admitted and crawled in behind her lover and wrapped an arm protectively around her and held her to her. "Why don't you call her at the base? Just check on her that way you won't worry huh?" 

"Calling her won't stop me from worrying," Janet admitted. "I just can't help but wait for the day when the other shoe drops and she isn't here anymore." 

Kissing the woman's shoulder and pulling her more into her Sam slowly started to rub her belly, "It's going to be ok Janet, I and the girls will be there for you. Promise." 

"I know love, I know," Janet said softly entwining her fingers with Sam's. 

"Go to..." she started to say sleep but turned her head to sneeze quickly, "Sorry. Go to sleep Janet, we have to be in early tomorrow you know." 

"Don't wanna sleep," Janet said huskily and brought Sam's hand to her mouth kissing the palm. 

Snuggling up to Janet she kissed her shoulder and then her back, "I love you so much Janet." 

"I love you too." Janet didn't say anymore just took one of Sam's fingers into her mouth and sucked on it using her tongue to swirl around the digit. 

"Mmmm" Sam said dreamily and lay her head on Janet's shoulder lightly, "I want to make passionate love to you Janet, right now." 

"No one is stopping you," Janet responded now sucking on the inside of Sam's wrist. 

"Beautiful invitation, beautiful woman" she began and pulled Janet over onto her back. 

Janet lay pined on her back, the bed below her Sam above her. She let her hands roam under Sam's shirt feeling the muscles move under her fingertips as they inched higher up her torso. 

And just at that moment Sam turned to sneeze again, a deep sneeze from her chest, "OH...Excuse me" she said realizing that was going to ruin the mood for a moment. 

"Don't tell me your getting sick?" Janet asked groaning in frustration. 

"Probably just allergies" she answered sniffling a moment and then smiled. "See" she said turning and leaning down to kiss her lover; she had to distract her from the idea she maybe getting sick otherwise she was in trouble. 

'Mmmm," Janet responded to the kiss snaking her arms around Sam's waist and into the back of her shorts. 

Bringing her hands up to run through Janet's hair Sam felt Janet trying to slide her bottoms and panties down and raised up a little on her knees to help her finally breaking the kiss, "So beautiful and..." she turned to sneeze again and felt Fraiser squeeze her ass cheeks. "Sorry honey." 

"Are you sure you're not getting sick because you need to tell me. I'm just going to be mad later when I find out you are." 

"Not even warm" she promised though she didn't know Janet knew that was a lie. "Chest is a little congested, that's it. Now..." she leaned forward to kiss her again. 

But Janet placed both hands on her shoulders keeping Sam where she was. "You're wrong you are warm." 

"Well I am trying to have sex here Janet, I'm supposed to be warm," she offered with a smile. 

Giving in to temptation Janet didn't argue. "Sex now, fix cold later." 

"Sex now, sex later" Sam countered and leaned her head down taking Janet's mouth in hers as she started to unbutton the woman's top and slid her hands inside to rub her breasts. 

Janet arched into Sam trying to increase the contact. "Clothes off. Now." 

Sitting up Sam yanked her top off and threw it across the room. She moved up enough so Janet got her pants and panties off and then she set about unclothing Janet, only this time she started to suck on her breast like a newborn. 

Janet threaded her fingers through the blond hair almost painfully pulling her head closer to her breast. "Ah," was gasped out before her breathing became a little more rapid. 

Wasting no time as she started to lick around the nipple in her mouth and panting Sam slid her hands under the blankets to her lovers sex and started to rub her clit roughly, "Mmmm....baby...yes...yes so hot" she mumbled around the nipple. 

"Ah. God Sam need you now." Janet arched into the touch letting her hands trail over Sam's heated flesh. 

Not one to disappoint her lover she moved her mouth to her other breast and slid two fingers of her other hand inside while she used the one hand to keep rubbing her love button, "Mmmm...." she mumbled at the taste of her lover and the fact she was slowly sliding her fingers almost out and then slammed them back into her with force. 

Janet's hips moved in time with Sam's thrusting fingers creating enough movement to rock them both on the bed. "Sam," Janet panted her walls contracting around the penetrating fingers. 

After a powerful orgasm Sam was tired and Janet was tired and Carter was ready to call it a night, her needs hardly mattered when she felt Janet gripping her hips and then soon she found herself on the bottom with Janet straddling her and she smiled, "Going to fix me up are you" she asked dreamily. 

"Have to take care of my lover," Janet whispered huskily and her hands slid up Sam's abdomen to cup firm breasts. 

Arching up a little she closed her eyes and used her hands to rub her lover's hips and lick her lips, "Mmmm....love you Janet, need you" she said and tried to ignore the sneeze. 

She shifted leaning forward to capture swollen lips. "Tell me what you want," she whispered in her ear letting her warm breath wash over sensitive areas. 

"You...I want you inside me Janet" she said rubbing her lovers ass cheeks and her hips before rubbing her back, the hot flesh easing her mind into passion filled images and she arched up a little to press her tits to Janet's since they were about the same spot at the moment. 

Breast to breast Janet assaulted Sam's mouth plunging her tongue in as she inserted two fingers deep with in her. 

Sam screamed, right into her lover's mouth and felt her body shiver as she arched up and started to rock her hips to Janet's fingers. Janet knew just where to touch her inside to make the orgasm quick and she contracted her muscles gripping her lovers fingers, pulling more of them into her. 

Janet continued the in and out motion of her fingers as Sam rocked them she only shifted long enough to straddle a long muscular thigh rubbing her self on it as she made her lover come. 

That night the two women lay exhausted, sweaty and tired in each other's arms. Sam sneezing occasionally after turning her head so she wasn't doing it on Janet, "My God you're wonderful," she told the woman lovingly. 

"Thank you Sam," Janet said softly as she kissed a bare shoulder. 

SGC Complex  
Carter's Lab

Several days later Sitting in her lab staring at the odd piece of alien technology that SG-6 had brought back the Major was reading a report on a test when her head fell forward and she yanked it up yawning and rubbed her face rising and paced a few minutes, dumped some ice water over her head and sneezed to wake up. She was getting a cold but she wasn't about to go to the Infirmary. She had been avoiding Janet 'officially' due to work though she hadn't made much of an effort since getting sick because she knew her lover would refuse to let her go on the mission SG-1 was having tomorrow. She'd already passed a medical by corralling one of the junior doctors when Janet was busy earlier with a returning team. 

Janet leaned against the open door watching Sam as she dumped the ice water over her head. "That's not going to help your cold." 

Spinning around as she dripped the woman smiled, "I don't have a cold so it won't matter Janet" she said grabbing a towel off her sofa where she had tossed it. "I've got to get to the control room, excuse me." 

"I know for a fact you have a cold no matter what the junior doctor told you," Janet stated firmly. 

"Janet listen" the woman began as she rubbed her hair with a towel, "I really have to get some stuff done before the mission tomorrow." 

"I want you to take lots of vitamins and some medicine to get rid of most of the cold before the jump," Janet said. "It will only take a few minutes for you to come with me to the infirmary to get what I want you to take. Plus you need to stop dumping ice water on yourself. It will just make it worse." 

"You want to give me a B12 shot and you know it" she countered but nodded slowly. Sam could sense her lover was trying to meet her halfway, "Ok, so I've got a cold" she admitted. "Thank you Janet." 

Janet nodded. "I'm still angry at you for two reasons." She began moving into the hallway waiting for Sam to follow. "The main one and most important because you didn't bother to tell me. Instead you thought it would be better to hide and avoid me till after your jump." 

Corridor

"I wrote you a note" she admitted and gave a weak smile following her. "Ok it was incredibly stupid to hide that I'm sick from my doctor. But I knew you wouldn't let me go if I admitted I was sick Janet and I really..." 

"Wanted to go. Yes I know but give me a little credit here. I'm not grounding you. And it's not just because I'm your doctor but also because I'm your lover." Janet admitted deciding not to bring up the second reason. 

"And I should have told you" Carter insisted as they waited on the elevator now. "What is the second reason Janet?" 

Janet looked at Sam and smiled. It was at that moment that she sneezed. "You got me sick." 

"I'm sorry" she admitted, "How about I'll take your vitamins while I'm gone and then you let Warner give you some to take? I'll even let you give me a shot of B12 if you'll take one too. Deal?" 

"Deal," Janet said extending her hand. 

Giggling Sam took the hand and nodded when she realized Janet was pushing her sleeve up and before she could ask what a needle was out, "HEY, no fair" she objected, "You came armed incase I didn't agree didn't you?" 

"Yep," Janet announced. "Besides I'm already scheduled to be given one, I don't have a choice if I want to keep treating Jennifer." Janet gave Sam the shot and recapped the syringe sticking it back in her lab coat pocket. 

"At least you didn't want to stick me in the butt I guess" she offered with a wink. "Am I still going to the Infirmary or not?" 

"Yes, I have some medicine I want you too take," Janet said. "And Sam you better take them. I can't stress this enough because once I am over this cold if you are still sick I can't let you near the kids or me. Because if they get sick I'll get sick and I can't afford to let that happen twice. Jennifer needs me." Janet was surprised that Sam figured out the reason she couldn't be sick, she had figured she would get question on why she couldn't be around Jennifer. 

But true to form the woman nodded, "Just give me what I need Janet and tell me how best to help this cold and I'll do it" she promised as they entered the elevator with determination. 

Infirmary

Janet handed Sam a bag of various pills. "Remember what I said about taking them." 

"Consider them taken," she promised with a firm nod. "I'll bring home dinner tonight since it's just me, you and Cass ok?" 

"As long as it's something good," Janet warned with a smile. 

"McDonald's is always good" she said and playfully pinched her lover's ass before leaving the Infirmary. 

"That better not be what your bringing home for dinner or you're not coming through that door." After Sam left Janet let Warner give her the needed shot and then she headed to her office. 

Fraiser's Office

She picked up the phone requesting an outside line. She dialed the Rivers residence and waited for someone to answer the phone. 

"Hello" came Jennifer's tired voice. 

"Hi Jennifer. How are you feeling today," Janet said cheerfully. 

"Tired but I haven't thrown up yet so that's good" she admitted slowly. "How are you feeling today? Kira told me you and Major Carter had colds." 

"Yes we do," Janet said. "I'm glad your feeling better and the reason I am calling is to say that if you do have problems you need to see Warner until I am over this cold. That and I don't want Kira to be around us and get exposed because she could also pass it to you. If you need someone to watch her SG-1 has volunteered while they are on world and also Hammond said she is more that welcome to spend time with his grandchildren." 

"Why" she asked confused quickly, "It's just a cold and you know that Doctor Warner is a fine doctor but he isn't you and...." 

"I understand that Jennifer but right now something as simple as a cold could be deadly to you," Janet said. "The chemo weakens the immune system so your body won't be able to right of the cold and in the end it could kill you. I don't want to take that chance." Janet went silent. "I don't want to be the reason you die." 

"Ok, I'll do whatever you recommend Janet" she said softly. "For now I'll tell Kira you said hi and that she gets to stay with me." 

"I'm sorry Jennifer I really am and tell Kira I'm sorry too." There was sadness present in her voice. She really didn't want Kira to take this the wrong way. "Let her know she can call me at anytime day or night and that goes for you too." 

"I'll let her know you're tired up at work a lot and trust me no need to be sorry," Jennifer said in a somewhat cheerful voice. "I'm going to go take a nap all right?" 

"Tell her the truth Jennifer not that I am here at work. I think she will understand. Now go get that nap and I'll call you tomorrow." Janet hung up her phone and looked across the room. With Sam leaving off world Janet hoped nothing bad would happen. 

Fraiser Residence

For over eight months Kira and the Fraiser family bonded as Jennifer underwent Chemotherapy and other options to try to shrink the tumor and it was a little after three am when the phone rang. It was the hospital telling Fraiser that Rivers had been admitted and it didn't look good. Sam was off world for another two days if things stayed on track and Cassie was staying the weekend with a friend. 

Janet dressed in her sweat pants and t-shirt grabbed a jacked and her purse and immediately took of to the Academy Hospital. She made it in record time and after finding out where Jennifer was she headed in that direction. 

U.S.A.F. Academy Hospital  
Corridor

Sitting in the hallway on a chair was Kira all alone. 

"Oh honey," Janet said kneeling in front of the girl and pulling her into a hug. "Can you tell me what happened?" 

Crying hard was the only thing Kira could do for several minutes and then she sat back, tiredly. She was still in her pajamas, "I...I was working on homework and had a question. Mom..." she sniffed lightly, "Was lying on the sofa and wouldn't wake up when I tried. I checked her pulse and breathing like you told me to but there wasn't any so I called the ambulance, they haven't told me anything else" she admitted sadly. 

"Do you want me to stay with you or your mom?" Janet asked. "There are really good Doctors already in there and the neurologist who specializes in things like this." Janet was torn between whom to help. She knew there was nothing she could personally do for Jennifer but there was still things she could do for Kira. 

Kira started to say with her mom but then she scooted over on the small sofa in the hallway and nodded, "I'm going to loose her Janet" she admitted burying her face in her hands, a new round of tears starting. 

Janet moved onto the offered space. "I know honey and I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help her." Janet pulled Kira onto her lap so the girl was facing Janet. Janet still held on to her while she cried content to give her the support she needed and not ashamed to let her own tears fall. Almost two hours later with Kira asleep in her lap Janet saw Ron Stewarts heading toward them and she caught his eyes. 

Ron sighed, he hated this though as a doctor he knew that it was part of the life cycle and came over to kneel down looking at the sleeping girl. 

"That's it isn't it?" Janet asked quietly struggling to find her voice. "It's over." 

Before he could answer Kira opened her eyes and sat up almost knocking Stewarts over, "Mom? Is she ok," she asked the man. 

Janet just tightened her grip fearing she already knew the answer. 

Sighing the man lowered his head a moment and then looked up shaking it, "I'm sorry." 

"NO" she screamed and cried. 

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry," Janet kept repeating over and over through her own tears. "Let it go, let it all out." She continued to hold Kira tightly while rocking her. 

Pushing off Fraiser the girl stood up and stiffened, forcing herself to not feel anything and looked at Stewarts, "I want to see her." 

"Are you sure honey?" Janet asked leaning forward and brushing a strand of Kira's hair behind her ear. 

"YES" she snapped and sighed, "I...I just need to see her, be sure Janet that ...you know? Please." 

"I know honey," Janet said softly. "I'm just making sure your ready to do this now and that you don't want to wait." 

She turned to Stewarts. "Where is she?" 

"Trauma two" he answered standing up, "But give the nurses a few minutes, they're cleaning her up. Again I'm sorry Janet, Kira." 

Kira just nodded and buried her face in her hands, she felt hot and tired and angry and scared and so many emotions she wasn't sure what was going on. 

"You did all you could Stewarts," Janet said standing and pulling Kira close to her. Janet began leading her down to trauma two, taking their time for the nurses to finish. 

Coming up to the door Kira stared inside, she could see the white covered figure and knew it was her mother. Some part of her wanted to believe it wasn't, that it was a joke. She felt Janet beside her and looked up at her, "I...need...to do this...by myself Janet" she said. Her face was red, swollen and tear stained and she looked older than twelve. The past eight months had taken their toll on her. 

"I'll be right here if you need me," Janet said holding the door open for Kira. 

Almost like she weighed five million pounds, her stomach so tight she felt like throwing up her shoes Kira entered and could immediately smell the hospital smell. The room had instruments and bloody cloth all over the floor and she slowly stopped at the foot of the bed and closed her eyes. ~GOD MOMMA I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS~ she screamed over and over again in her mind. After a moment she moved up to the head of the bed and carefully tugged the sheet back and gasped, covering her mouth as she stepped back. Jennifer Rivers looked like she was asleep, though her head was covered in gauze like she had hit it on something but Kira couldn't take her eyes off her. "Oh momma" she cried. 

Janet's heart broke and what Kira had to go through. No child should loose its mother at such a young age. She watched as Kira cried and screamed out for her mom. Tears ran down her cheeks uncheck. 

For several minutes the girl cried and then slowly she couldn't cry anymore, her body hurt from crying and she stood up on a stool and kissed her mother, resting her head on her shoulder for a few seconds and then stood up touching her face. It was lifeless and cold. Closing her eyes she crawled down and went toward the door leaving her mother behind but didn't get more than a foot or two when she covered her mouth and ran into a nearby bathroom. 

Janet watched as Kira ran out of trauma room two and headed straight for the bathroom. She immediately followed and entered to find Kira empting her stomach. 

"I'm...I'm ok" she said and stood up after flushing the toilet and started to the sink. She had to remain emotionless, if she didn't she'd die. 

"Let's go home. And it's ok to hurt. I hurt," Janet said not wanting Kira to close her heart off. "And I'm going to miss her very much." 

Wiping her mouth with a paper towel the girl sighed and looked at herself in the mirror, she was an orphan and alone now though she knew Janet would argue but it was the truth. She had no one, at least no real family though she ...she just didn't expect to loose her mother so soon. "Yeah." 

Janet led Kira out of the hospital and to the car. "Do you want to lay down in the back seat or sit up front?" 

Enroute To Fraiser Residence

"I'm not ever sleeping again" she admitted sadly and climbed in the front, almost like she didn't care about anything and closed her eyes. She should have died with her mom. 

"I know it hurt and I know you hurt. It's natural to do so but you have to keep going. You can't give up your mom didn't want that." Janet put Kira in the front seat and climbed into the drivers seat and headed for home. 

"I have to go by the apartment and get my schoolbooks for tomorrow" she stated calmly to Janet. 

"Why don't you stay home with me tomorrow?" Janet asked quietly wanting Kira's company but not wanting to push her. "Please." she added almost wordlessly. 

The girl shrugged at first and then sighed, "All right." 

"Are you sure your ok with spending time with me? I really don't want to force you to. You could to school if you prefer." Janet didn't want to hurt Kira anymore than she was by forcing her to stay with someone that would pretend to be her mom. 

"No" Kira said plainly and shifted in her nightclothes. If Janet was being mean to her or forcing her to do anything it would be easier to pull away but with her being nice it was harder. "Where are Cassie and Sam?" 

"Cassie is spending the night at a friends but will be home tomorrow and Sam is off on a mission for work. She won't be home for a few days," Janet said starting to cry. "Since you said no and don't want to stay with me I'll take you to get your school bags and then we will head back to my house." Janet focused on the road and continued to cry. 

"Janet" the girl said and scooted over to her after unbuckling her seatbelt among the Doctor's protests, "I meant no I don't want to go to school, not that I don't want to stay with you" she said sadly and leaned her head over to rest on the small woman. "You're...you're family now, I want to spend time with you." 

"Ok honey," Janet said leaning over and kissing the top of her head while she waited for the light to change. "Thank you." 

She continued driving with an arm around Kira. They finally pulled into the drive way and Janet got out walking around the car and opening the door for Kira. 

Fraiser Residence

Getting out the girl nodded her thanks and moved to the porch silently, the sun was just peaking over the mountains but she took no comfort in that fact. 

Janet opened the house door and Kira was the first to walk in. Janet relocked the house up and turned but couldn't find Kira in the living room. 

The girl was in the kitchen, staring out the window with her arms around herself tightly and her head down. 

After searching all down stairs but the kitchen Janet headed to that location before starting on the upper rooms. She opened the door to find Kira standing there staring out the window. She quietly walked to stand behind her and wrapped her arms around the small frame. "You want to lay down or maybe talk a little?" 

"I know she's at peace now Janet but..." the girl sighed and laid her head back against the doctor. "It hurts so much, she was my mother and now she's gone. Knowing it was happening...it didn't help." 

"Death is never easy for anyone whether it be the person dying or the ones being left behind. But you have us, me, Sam and Cassie. We will help you through this." Janet kissed her head again trying to give her any comfort she could. 

"I...I should go to bed" Kira admitted. "There's a lot to do, I have to make the arrangements, go through the apartment and some other stuff." 

"The arrangements are already being taken care of. I had been working with your mother on that the last few months and there's no hurry to go through the apartment." Janet kept her arms around her but began leading her out of the kitchen. "Do you want to sleep in your room or mine?" 

"Doesn't matter" she admitted sadly but still didn't cry. She couldn't or she'd never stop, "I won't sleep long anyway." 

"It's up to you honey and I can always give you something to sleep," Janet informed wanting the choices to be Kira's. 

"Your room and please do" Kira answered before she lost her resolve. 

"Ok," Janet led the way into her room and sat Kira on the edge of the bed. She went into the adjoining bathroom and returned with her medical bag. She pulled out a syringe and filled it with a clear liquid from one of the bottles she kept on hand. She carefully rolled up Kira's sleeve and after swabbing the area gently inserted the needle under her skin and pushing the plunger expelling all the contents. Removing the syringe and recapping it she placed it in her bag and pulled the sleeve down. "Go ahead and climb under the covers. I need to take care of something and I'll right back. I promise," Janet said kissing her forehead. She left her room heading once more down stairs to use the phone. She called the base asking for Hammond. 

It took a few moments for Hammond to come on, "Doctor we were just calling for you actually or preparing to. I assume you've heard?" 

"Yes Sir," Janet said her voice filled with emotion. "I have already been to the hospital and have Kira with me. I was actually calling to inform you of...of the situation Sir." Janet was finding it very difficult to talk. 

"Doctor" the older man, said, "What are you talking about? I'm talking about SG-1 returning early with that infection, you haven't been informed have you?" 

At that same instant the cell phone in Janet's living room rang. 

"No Sir I haven't," Janet said. "Oh God Sir. I...I was calling to inform you that Sergeant Rivers just passed away about an hour or two ago." Janet moved towards her cell to look at the caller ID. 

"I see" he stated, "Well of course I'm sorry about that Doctor but do you believe that Warner can handle this situation? According to his preliminary report only Colonel O'Neil and Doctor Jackson have it." 

The phone showed the number for the base, the Infirmary to be precise. 

"Warner should qualified Sir," Janet confirmed. "He needs to determine how the infection is transferred between hosts and whether or not it is contagious to others. Sir could you pass on this information to Warner and to have him call if there are questions or complications. I will try to walk him through it since I will not be coming in. I have other priorities at the moment Sir." 

"Doctor Fraiser" Hammond began, "I understand that Sergeant Rivers death and the needs of her daughter are a priority and between you and me as a grandfather I say good that you want to stay but your duty is to this base. You're the Chief Medical Officer and not to mention a specialist in this type of thing, we need you here. Have Cassandra stay with the young Rivers girl." 

"I'm sorry Sir, I can't do that," Janet declared knowing that her career could be at jeopardy. "I have given my word that I would never leave her. I did that once and it almost tore my family apart. I will not do it a second time." Janet didn't know she was no longer the only one in the room. 

Hammond stiffened on his end of the phone and finally sighed, "All right Doctor but I want you to check in every four hours even if the Infirmary doesn't call and if this starts to get out of hand I want you back here. Is that understood?" 

Kira watched the woman, listened as she talked to whomever she was talking to and it was at that moment she realized that Janet was everything her mother had said she was. ~I understand now mom, it's ok. It hurts but it's ok~ she thought. 

"Yes Sir I understand and I will call in every four hours," Janet agreed although she still didn't want to go in if things got progressively worse. "Sir I know I am in no position to ask this but could you do me a favor?" 

"Of course and for the personal record you're always in a position Doctor Fraiser" George Hammond asked. "Please pass along my condolences to the young girl and inform her that her mother will receive full military honors at the memorial service." 

"Thank you Sir. I will make sure to inform Kira," Janet said with a smile. "I would like to ask that you not tell Sam. I think with the infection SG-1 has that she has enough to worry about with her two down teammates. I don't want to worry her anymore than is necessary." 

"Very well Doctor, if you're sure. If you need anything please let me know however and I'm sorry about Sergeant Rivers" Hammond informed her. Janet was a good leader, passionate and compassionate and why she let her emotions rule more than he did he knew that she took every loss personally. "Her death is a great loss to this command and I won't announce it until after SG-1 has been released." 

"Thank you Sir." Janet finished and hung up. She turned around to see Kira at the bottom of the stairs. "I thought you were laying down?" 

"Not sleepy" she commented looking over at Fraiser. "I didn't mean to listen in but...did you mean that? You think I'm more important than whoever that was?" 

"Yes I do," Janet, answered honestly walking up to Kira. "That was actually the General. He's kinda my boss." Janet said shrugging her shoulders. "There is a small problem with one of the teams and he wanted me to go in to the base." 

"You should go," she said with tired eyes. "I'll be ok by myself." 

"No," Janet said firmly. "There are other Doctors that can handle it. I'm more needed here." Janet placed and hand on a small shoulder. With both phones is hand she started to lead the way up the stairs. "Why don't we go back to my room?" 

Slowly Kira rose, the medication was making her sleepy and she followed Janet inside her room but stood at the foot of the bed before sitting down and cried. 

Janet pulled Kira fully onto the bed and situated herself so they were both lying down. She held Kira in her arms and never wanted to let go. As her new daughter cried so did she. 

For weeks things settled down but Kira drew more into herself. She didn't pull away when the others tried to include her but she didn't find any fun, she hardly cooked anymore. School and her after school job were pretty much all she did; she didn't even exercise anymore and was getting fat but she didn't really care. 

Janet was sitting on her bed with her hands over her face trying to hide the tears. Kira was at work and Cassie was at the library. 

And Sam came in from work tossing her jacket down and saw her lover crying. "Let me guess Kira" she asked moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Where is she Janet?" 

'She's at work," Janet threw out. "Where else." 

"So go get her" she stated and put a hand on her knee. "You have to talk to her, before she hurts herself Janet and you know she will. You said yourself she's exhausted, pushing herself." 

"And Sam I'm at my limit," Janet said throwing her arms up in the air for emphasis. "I have sat her down countless times and talk to her and tried to get her to talk. I could do that till I am blue in the face but she won't listen to me. She just sits there and I'm lucky if she even wants to look at me." 

"Yet she never tells you to stop" she said and squeezed the knee she held. "Janet you taught me that love, a family and especially a teen is patience. I know you're frustrated but I have a hunch that today you'll be lucky" she commented with a smile and leaned up to kiss her. "Now I'll make dinner, go round up Kira. I think this is just a her night until Cassie gets home and don't let her off with just ignoring you. Push her Janet, pretend she's the Colonel," she offered. 

"I'm afraid to push her Sam," Janet admitted. "If I push her to hard she will run away and god only knows what will happen to her then. I can't take that chance. I would rather be a failure and have let her mother down then drive her to the streets." Janet looked down tears falling freely from her eyes. 

"Hey" Carter insisted and reached over to lift her chin, "You said you trusted me and what I'm asking now is the most important thing I've ever asked you to do. Go talk to her Janet, right now. Trust me when I tell you she's ready or almost ready and just needs you there, to push her a little. Ok?" 

"I can't. I'm not that strong," Janet admitted finally acknowledging her weakness. "I'm not as strong as you think I am or as I appear to be. I am weaker than everyone thinks and I can't go on." 

At that same instant Kira moved from her spot beside the door, she had been listening when she came home early to tell Janet about a permission slip she needed her to sign. As she listened the girl debated about not doing it and then heard her mother and sighed standing up moving to the door, "Janet" she whispered. 

Sam spun around and nodded, "Hello Kira" she said rising. "Janet I'm going to go pick up Cass at the library" she said grabbing her coat and left. 

"Sam," Janet called but it was already too late. So Janet stood and took on her responsibilities once more. "Hey honey," she said softly kissing Kira's head. "How was school and work?" Janet started to go through the door not sure if Kira was going to follow her or not but she needed something to drink. Something other than the water she already had. 

The girl did follow her and stopped in the kitchen, "Janet I need to talk to you...I want to talk to you." 

"Talk away Kira I'm always here for you. You know that," Janet rambled. "If it's something in regards to school, a permission slip or something else that needs to be signed or if you just need help with your homework just ask." She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. Using a can opener she popped the cap and took a long swig. 

Sighing the girl realized she had that coming, she'd been a bitch since her mom died and she'd have to explain a lot to fix this. Quietly she walked over and took the beer from Janet and sat it down, "I don't need my doctor, my guardian or my friend. I need..." she locked her green eyes on Janet's maples ones, "My mother. That's you isn't it" she asked the tears in her tired eyes. "I don't blame you if you don't want to be but I want you to be Janet, please?" 

"I don't know what to be anymore Kira," Janet said the tears falling again. "I tried to be there for you, to be your mother but I couldn't no matter how hard I tried and you made sure to point that out at every turn. So now I don't know what the hell I am." She reached for the beer again needing some alcohol to help her deal with this situation. 

But Kira blocked her path by stepping in front of her and shook her head, "Say the word mom, I'll leave but I love you" she said the tears sliding down now. "I hurt so much for mom I alienated another woman who is just as special to me so tell me" she demanded, "Tell me you don't want me here or you don't want to be mom and I'll leave. But I don't want to leave" she said opening her arms, "I need you Janet." 

Janet slid down to the floor her legs unable to keep her standing. "I gave you a place in my home and my heart. I love you and the only thing I ever asked in return is that maybe you could love me too but all you did was push me away. And I couldn't complain and I can't turn you away ever I care too much. I'd let you walk all over me till the end of time if that's what you wanted cause I don't have the heart to push you away." Janet didn't know if she made sense or not. She couldn't think straight the emotions she was feeling clouding her mind. "All I know is that I love you and I always will." She dropped her head on her knees and continued to cry. 

Kira stood looking down at the woman and no longer to hide her own tears, not wanting to she knelt down and literally forced Janet's knees down and crawled into her lap burying her head on her shoulder, "I'M SORRY...I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A FUCK UP...I'M SORRY I HURT YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT BY LOVING YOU...I WAS BETRAYING MOM...I'M SORRY I WAS SCARED...I'M SORRY I DROVE YOU...I'M SORRY I HURT YOU...I'D RATHER DIE THAN DO THAT EVER AGAIN" she sobbed at the top of her voice. 

Janet wrapped her arms tightly around Kira. "The only way you could ever betray your mom was to hurt yourself and stop living. As long as you are happy and healthy that's all that matters to her. And that's all that matters to me. So if it's not this family that makes you happy we can fix that we can find one that will," Janet cried. 

"NO" she hollered terrified and pulled back, literally looked two instead of thirteen since she recently had a birthday, "Please...please don't send me away. I'm sorry...I love you Janet, you're mom and I want you to be. I'm sorry I made you mad" she said crying but terrified. 

"I'm not going to send you away unless you want to leave. I only want you to be happy where ever that may be." Janet continued to hold her rubbing her back as she herself continued to cry. "I don't want you to ever think you have to sacrifice your happiness for anyone even if it's me." 

Sniffing Kira nodded and crawled back onto Janet's lab holding her, "I love you so much Janet, like I did mom I think. I know I'm safe, happy here with you and ...I was terrified it would end. That you and the others would get tired of me..." she admitted embarrassed. "That it would be easier when you said you hated me" Kira stated crying, "If I wasn't allowing myself to get close to you. The only thing I ever told how much I loved you and the others was mom's headstone, my journal upstairs once in a while" she admitted. "I love you...mom" she whispered. 

"Oh honey I love you too. Very much," Janet whispered. She had one arm wrapped tightly around her waist and the other at the back of her head holding it against her shoulder as she rocked. 

For over forty minutes Kira cried, cried about her mom; herself; her treatment of Janet and the others...all of it until finally she sobbed herself half asleep, "I'm...tired mom" she whispered listening to the woman's heart beat through the shirt. 

"Let's get you in bed then," Janet said trying to get Kira to stand up. 

"With you" she asked standing up tiredly and leaned against Janet yawning. "Can I lay with you mom?" 

"Yeah baby. I have just the right size bed for it too." Janet hand an arm around Kira and lead her up the stairs into the master bedroom where they both crawled into bed. Janet lying on her back and Kira curled up next to her. 

"I love you mom," the girl mumbled holding tightly to Janet as she slowly drifted off to sleep. For the first time confident that as long as they had each other she'd be all right. 

"I love you too baby," Janet whispered kissing her forehead. "I love you too and always will."


	5. Together Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Janet and her family are together

Fraiser-Carter Residence

It had been a few years since Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter and Lt. Colonel Janet Fraiser had become a couple and adopted the young, now fifteen year old, Kira Rivers. Cassandra, their other daughter, was so far ahead in school she was starting college in a few weeks at Janet's alma mater in just a few weeks. 

Tomorrow Sam Carter and SG1 were due to go on a standard recon mission tomorrow for four days but tonight they were enjoying a barbecue at their home since the General had to go to Washington, Teal'c and Daniel were due soon and Sam was on call tonight for the base. Flipping the burgers she glanced over to see Cassandra and Kira playing in the in ground pool she and Janet had installed last year as a combined Christmas/birthday present for the girls since they had wanted one for a couple years. 

Janet sat in one of the chairs on the porch nursing a beer while she watched her daughters play. 

Glancing over her shoulder Sam smiled at her lover as she sat the grill utensils down and grabbed her beer heading for her and took a seat beside her, "Are you just going to lounge around while I do all the work Janet?" 

"Well I already finished the salad and you won't let me help with the barbequing, so yeah I guess I get to lounge," Janet said pulling on Sam's sleeve so she would come closer and then giving her a very tender kiss. 

Relishing in the kiss Sam didn't want to pull away but did and smiled, "Mmmm....I could learn to..." 

"MOM" Kira hollered, "Cassie dunked me." 

"She dunked me first mom," Cassandra hollered back. 

Carter laughed and shook her head, "Yep, they are definitely your daughters. Go deal with that dear." 

"They are a little of you too which makes it a lethal combination," Janet smiled then turned facing her girls. "If you did it to her, all you're doing is asking for trouble." She moved over to the hose and sprayed their heads since they were above water. 

The girls dunked under and swam away together, the fight forgotten as they dealt with a common enemy. 

Sam laughed as she stood up, "You better get them out and dried off, this food will be done any minute Janet" she said moving back to the barbecue. 

Janet turned of the hose and wrapped it back up. As the girls one by one poked their head up she called out, "Foods almost done. Time to get out." She headed back to her chair and took her seat once again. 

"But mom" both complained not wanting to get out. 

"You can either get out now or eat cold food later She went inside and came out with the big bowl of salad. 

By the time the food was on the table both girls were dry and changed and all sat down to eat. After dinner and dishes it was homework time and Sam was helping Cass with history and Janet was helping Kira with biology, "Mom are you sure that a frog has that many lungs?" 

"Yes honey," Janet said kissing her forehead. "Look at the anatomy diagram." She pointed to the charts on the page of the picture. 

"If you say so, it all looks like a multi-colored mess to me" she answered scribbling on the paper. 

"Hey moms" Cassandra asked as she wrote her answer to a question down, "There is a Friday The Thirteenth marathon on tonight, can I stay up and watch it?" 

"Me too" Kira asked excited. 

Sam shrugged, "I'm not sure that's a good idea girls." 

"I don't want you guys coming in our room because you are scared," Janet continued. "Sam needs to get some sleep since she has a mission coming up." Janet on the other hand had other plans for the blond. 

"We won't be scared, please" both pleaded at once. 

Glancing at Janet the blond woman sighed, "All right but if you get scared it's the last time and keep the volume down. Now both of you finish your homework. Janet would you like more tea" she asked standing up and picked up her own cup first. 

"Please," Janet said handing Sam her cup and giving her a kiss. 

Minutes later Sam came back with two full cups but saw the girls had vanished and assumed they went to put their stuff up. Sitting the one cup in front of her lover she took Kira's seat right next to Janet and smiled, "I talked to the General and confirmed the girls were going camping with he and his daughter after I get back and you and I have that cabin reserved up by Cheat lake and a whole four days together without any interruptions honey" she promised and leaned over kissing her lover. 

Janet accepted the kiss and moaned into it as she increased the contact and brought a hand to the back of Sam's head. "Mmmm. Sounds good," Janet managed after she had to break the kiss so they could breath. "I can't wait." 

"Me either" the blond woman said as her eyes twinkled. 

At that same moment the girls came back, "EW" they both said together but had smiles, "You two should get a room," Cassie said. 

"We have one young lady" Sam countered with a smile as she pulled away from her lover. "So are we watching a movie before your marathon or..." 

"You bet" Kira said and came over and wrapped her arms around Janet's neck. "I can lay on you right mom?" 

"Sure," Janet said resting a hand on one of the arms around her neck. She stood and pulled Sam up with her. "So what is this movie that we are going to watch?" 

"Don't ask me" Carter said as Cassie came out with a tray full of sodas and popcorn. 

"It's called The Manchurian Candidate, you guys should like it since it's military" she commented heading toward the living room. "Come on already." 

Kira was just content to hug Janet as they walked and she smiled at her. The woman had really made the years since she lost her mother great, even though she had made her feel so guilty at first. 

Janet pushed Sam down to seat and then sat directly in front of her leaning back. Kira was the next to sit and rested her head on Janet's leg. 

"I guess I get your other leg mom" Cassandra commented as she passed out sodas and then went to put the movie in. 

Sam kissed the top of Janet's head, "You know these are the times I really love most, family times." 

"Me too" Kira stated nuzzling up on Janet's leg. 

"So do I," Janet said warmly as she tilted her head to give her lover a kiss. "So do I." 

The movie passed nicely and after it the two lovers left the girls to their marathon and made their way up to their room. Sam locked the door, they had learned that lesson a few months ago and then turned to face Janet, "I'm going to miss you while I'm gone Janet, I always do" she said softly and came up to wrap her arms around her waist. 

Janet in returned wrapped her arms around Sam's neck. "I'll miss you too," she said as she pulled her head down and kissed her passionately. All the while Janet was walking backwards towards their bed. When her knees came into contact she lowered her self down pulling Sam down on top of her. 

Breaking the kiss Carter smiled as she sat up and started to unbutton Janet's shirt, "I love the way your mind works honey. Have I told you lately" she asked in a sultry voice that was soft, "How much I love you and how proud I am that you let me worship you every single day?" 

"I think you just did. And I love you too Sam with all of my heart," Janet declared. "But you are taking too long." She reached down and popped the last three buttons on her shirt before pulling on Sam's to get it over her head. 

"In a hurry are we" Sam asked sliding her hands behind her lover to unhook her bra. "You know for the first time since a mission I wish I didn't have to" she admitted to Janet as she pulled her bra off. 

"Leave?" Janet asked knowing just how Sam felt. "But it's what we do and our family is safe because you go out there and risk your life." Janet kept her voice calm and unwavering though whenever Sam stepped through the gate she was anything but. As she would watch the tall blond walk up the ramp the thoughts this could be the last time eco in her mind. Janet shoved those thoughts aside focusing on the here and now as she ravished her lover. Sam's bra has joined Janet's and now Janet's hands found their way to the clasps of Sam's pants. 

"I know" Sam said nuzzling her neck, giving light kisses all the way up to her mouth where she teased her and then started on the other side. "I just miss you and the girls so much honey...miss feeling you taking care of me and stuff you know" she said and started to rub Janet's breast with her hand. 

Janet arched her chest into Sam's palms. "I miss having you hold me," she said softly. "I feel the safest in your arms." 

Sam's pants were now pooled around her feet and her panties were quickly joining them. 

"I feel safest when I'm in yours" Sam panted to her lover as she rubbed her breasts harder and then rolled over pulling Janet on top of her and spread her legs open, the wetness welcoming her, "Starting my pre mission check up early I see Doctor cutie" she said and leaned up to capture Janet's lips in hers as she pinched her nipples and then rubbed her breasts. 

Janet straddled one of Sam's thighs and she placed hers between Sam's legs putting pressure on Sam's wet center. She dropped her head and captured on of Sam's nipples in her mouth rolling her tongue over the hardened surface. 

Using her feet to press her center hard onto Janet's hand she moaned, no one could manipulate her body like Janet could. She lit a fire within her that not many people saw and it was so like a potter with clay; she willingly let her lover mold her however she wanted her. Sliding her hands off her lover's breast she started to undo her pants. 

Janet stilled Sam's hands and captured them in her own. She pulled Sam's hands above her head having Sam rest them near the headboard. "Tonight is your night," Janet whispered huskily and she drew her arms down Sam's and lightly graved the sides of Sam's breasts and she slide lower, further down the long body. 

"You are too good to me," she whispered moaning and relaxed her body to Janet's expert touch. "I need you Janet, I love you," she said softly getting wetter and wetter as the woman drew closer to her center. 

Janet finally reached her destination and after kissing the inside of Sam's thighs she allowed her tongue to outline delicate folds taking in scent and taste that was all Sam. 

Rolling her head to the side Sam brought her hands down and started to play with Janet's hair while spreading her legs open more and then wrapped them around her lover's back, holding her tightly to her and trying to encourage her to go inside. "God Janet...you do...such...wondrous things...to me" she panted. 

Janet blew cool air across Sam's moist center causing a shiver to run along the lean body. She brought her tongue up and licked at the edges then entered in one swift movement. 

As she felt Janet's tongue dart inside her hot dripping sex Sam Carter moaned as she gripped the woman's hair tightly and arched, inviting her to go more inside. She wanted to give everything she had and could have to Janet as she felt her tongue moving around inside her it drove her close to the edge but her love knew what she wanted.... what she needed to happen, "Do it Janet.... do it good" she got out in a strangled words, the passion overwhelming her. 

Janet removed her tongue and took Sam's clit in her mouth sucking on it and occasionally biting it when she inserted two fingers as deep inside as she could get them. She continued to suck as she thrust her finger in and out with force. 

Loud moans started as Sam twisted Janet's hair almost painfully in her hands and then she came loudly, crying out as she soaked the doctor's hand, face and the bed in her juices. No sooner did she finish than she was almost unconscious on the bed, a happy grin on her tired, contented and soft features. Her vaginal muscles clenched around Janet's fingers still inside her, she was a little sore after her ride but nothing she had not experienced before. 

Janet slowly began to clean up Sam's wetness by licking up everything she could of the long body then slowly withdrew her fingers. She crawled up Sam's body and wiped some of the juice from her fingers on her lips before giving her lover a very passionate kiss. 

Feeling a tongue invade her mouth Sam opened it to welcome her and wrapped her arms tiredly around Janet, holding her to her sweaty body among the shivers. Finally the kiss broke and she opened tired eyes, "Love you" she admitted trying to find the strength to please Janet now, she wanted to but the orgasm had taken a lot out of here. 

"I love you too," Janet, declared giving Sam a quick kiss before offering her fingers to Sam allowing her to taste herself. 

Sucking on her lover's fingers soon had Sam drifting off to sleep but when she felt Janet start to pull them out she held on but still slept as the doctor rolled off her. 

Janet rolled of Sam pulled her closer to her so Sam had her head pillowed on Janet's breast while Janet kept her arms tightly wrapped around her lover. Sam slept knowing she was safe and Janet watched her finally loosing her own battle to sleep. 

SGC Complex   
Infirmary

The next day Sam and the rest of SG1 came into the Infirmary but she was the only one that looked happy but for obvious reasons and immediately headed toward a bed and hopped up, "Ready when you are Janet." 

"Carter, you don't have to be so enthusiastic about the Doc wanting to poke and prod you know" the Colonel complained as he hoisted himself up on a bed. 

"She's doing her job Sir, and I for one don't mind since she'd saved my butt more than once" she said proudly. "I think she's the universe's best doctor." 

"Indeed Lt. Colonel Carter" Teal'c agreed as he sat on a bed. 

"You're just saying that Sam" Daniel objected. 

"Honestly you men" Carter intoned and saw Janet. "Come and do me Janet, I'm the only one that appreciates you." 

"I'd appreciate her a lot more if she didn't stick big honkin' needles in my butt Carter" Jack O'Neil admitted with a smile. 

Rolling her eyes Carter shook her head, "Toss me a gown Doctor and I'll change and won't even complain." 

Janet threw a gown at Sam mouthing 'I already did last night' in regards to Sam's comment. After giving gowns to the other members of SG1 she waited for whoever would be finished changing first. 

Teal'c was actually done first and nodded to Fraiser when she stepped up to him with a clipboard pulling the curtain around them, "Greetings Doctor Fraiser." 

"Morning Teal'c," Janet greeted in return as she did the necessary tests making sure Teal'c was in good health to make the jump. 

"Everything looks good but I wouldn't have thought otherwise," Janet said offering him a smile. "You're clear for today's jump. Good luck and make sure the others come back in one piece. Preferable the lesser the damage the better." Janet turned and started to pull the curtain apart just enough to fit through. 

"I shall endeavor to do as you ask Doctor Fraiser" the least uncooperative patient Janet had answered as she left. 

The other three were waiting when she came out writing on Teal'c's chart. At her whose next question both Sam and Daniel pointed to the complaining CO, Colonel Jack O'Neil as a nurse got his vitals. Everyone knew if he had to wait he made everyone miserable. The nurse came over and offered her the man's chart and took Teal'c's. 

"Geez Doc, hurry it up would ya? I'm not getting any younger sitting here and...." he winced when a nurse tried to get his temperature in his ear, "WATCH IT...Doc what are you staff trying to do to me, I mean I do gotta hear out of that thing and...." 

"You said yourself you're not getting any younger which means you're getting older and one of the first things to go sometimes is your hearing," Janet smiled. "So it doesn't matter what we do, you probably won't be able to hear for too much longer." Janet quickly finished everything that needed to be done with the Colonel to get him out of her infirmary. 

Holding up his arm after her vampire act the man made a face, "Jesus Doc, did you leave me any blood to use? Honestly you like poking holes in me and...." 

"JACK" Daniel hollered, "Would you mind shutting up and quite torturing Janet? There are two others out here who don't enjoy sitting in these..." 

"Daniel be quiet, I'm the CO and I'm a priority so just..." 

Janet didn't say anything just flashed a huge needle in front of his eyes. Sure enough it did the trick she was hoping for. 

Sam Carter didn't say anything and just waited patiently for her doctor and her lover to get to her. She heard a little more of the Colonel's complaints and then Daniel's before she smelled and heard Janet in her area as the curtain was pulled, "Hey" she said with a grin. "And you wonder why I take Tylenol on every mission, three guys full of childish behaviors can give anyway a headache Janet" she said with a nod and a wide grin. "So what's first?" 

"I'll be sure to give you another bottle then," Janet said with a smile as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Sam's arm letting her touch linger for a moment or two. It felt like an hour had gone by before Janet had finished taking her vitals and a blood sample. She took her time and wished she could touch Sam more as her lover than her Doctor at the moment. She also knew she couldn't for both of their sakes. "I'll see you when you jump," Janet smiled. "I'm going to watch you if that's all right?" She wasn't sure why but for some reason she felt she should ask. Still she said nothing about the uneasiness she felt about this mission. "Promise you'll be careful." 

"I promise you'll be careful," Sam said standing up to change, she didn't mind at all if her lover watched her and caught the look. "Janet I'll be careful and you can watch me jump anytime; you know that. I'm taking us out for a nice dinner when I get back too so be sure the girls know to behave all right," she said pulling her pants up and zipping them first. 

Janet laid her hand on Sam's back just letting it rest there. "I'll tell them," she said in a very soft voice trying to control her emotions. She pulled her hand away and began to step away from Sam. "I should let you go." She left and after dropping of Sam's chart and blood headed to her lab only to turn around and go to her office. 

Gate/Control Room

It was a little while later when Hammond saw his CMO coming into the control room as SG1 stood in the gate room as the Stargate dialed. "Doctor" he said with a nod, "SG1 is all cleared to jump correct" he asked remembering the last time the Colonel had 'borrowed' some of the medical clearance slips and forged or tried to Fraiser's signature when he was suffering from a virus and she had grounded him. 

"Yes Sir they are good to go," Janet said staring down at the Gate Room. "I just came to see them off. If that's all right Sir?" 

"You're always welcome Doctor" the man said as the gate whooshed to life. Closing the folder he held the General leaned over and spoke into the mic, "SG1 you have a go" he ordered. 

The team moved up the ramp and then Sam was stopped by a question from a tech operating the FRED following them and before turning around the blue eyes looked up and locked on Janet's giving her a nod; though slight before turning and was gone through the event horizon with the rest of her team. 

"Safe journey," Janet whispered in silent prayer before heading out and returning to her office. At the end of her shift she collected her things and headed for home to spend the evening with her daughters. 

Fraiser Residence

That night after the girls cooked Janet dinner, they knew how much she worried when Sam was off world but they were just finishing up homework when the phone rang and Hammond's voice greeted her, "Doctor Fraiser report back to the base for a medical emergency" he ordered and didn't offer to send anyone over since the girl's were old enough to watch themselves. "It's SG1" he finished before she could ask who it was. 

"What happened?" Janet asked her heart leaping into her throat. "And who is hurt?" It was this last question that Janet feared the most. 

"I don't have all the information Doctor, I just know that SG1 returned after requesting a medical team through the gate and upon return they were rushed to the Infirmary. Warner hasn't said anything yet but they all were mobile. Just get here; your staff upon arrival will brief you. Bye" and he hung up the phone. 

Cassandra and Kira sat up off the sofa when they saw their mom's face, "Mom" Kira asked first. 

"What is it" Cassandra finished. 

Janet had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and as she hung up the phone her knees started to give out and she clutched the end of the table trying to keep herself standing. She would be ok to drive if she could just calm her nerves and get rid of the urge to throw up. 

Both girls were on their feet immediately, Kira rushing to get water as Cassandra came over and supported her mother to help her to a chair. Neither of them had ever seen her loose it like this, "It's ok mom...we've got you" Cassandra said now rubbing her back as her sister brought water. 

"Here mom" Kira said handing her the glass scared at what was going on. "Are you ok?" 

"I'll be fine," Janet said. "I just need to calm myself," As she said this she took the offered glass of water and her hands shook as she held onto it. Little droplets of water spilled over the rim dropping onto her hands. "I need to get to the base," Janet said her voice not sounding normal. She sounded like she wasn't there. 

"I'll take you" Cassandra said. The girl could drive as she was nineteen and would be starting college in a few weeks. 

"I want to go too," Kira said with determination. 

"Ok, let's go" the older teen said and went over to get her mom's purse, keys, ID, and her own purse. "Mom try to calm down, whatever is wrong it's clear they're going to need you," she said logically, sounding like Sam there. 

"I know honey," Janet said trying to sound reassuring. "Don't worry by the time we get to the base I will be fine." She hurried out the door with her daughters following right behind. Janet climbed into the front passengers seat as Cassie climbed into the drivers seat. 

Enroute To SGC

The drive to the base was mostly done is silence with the occasional voice breaking it. 

SGC Complex   
Infirmary

Warner was waiting for Janet Fraiser by the time she rushed in and Abby came over with her lab coat which she helped her into, "The patient is Major Carter, I'm sorry Doctor" he said offering her the file. "The rest of SG1 check out fine and we've got all the standard tests underway for the Major however the only complaint is complete lack of sight. According to reports" he began as they moved toward a curtained area, "She was examining an alien device when a bright flash erupted, she was the only one looking in the right direction apparently. She was so hysterical when I got to the planet with SG8 that I had no choice but to sedate her, though she should be coming around soon." 

"Has there been any response in her pupils? Dilation of any kind?" Janet asked going over the file in complete Doctors mode. 

"Not that I've detected" he answered sadly but professionally. "She was so upset on the planet she was literally clawing at her face Doctor, I've got butterfly sutures over several of them" he answered as a nurse opened the curtain. 

Janet walked in and saw Sam for the first time and gasped. Everyone at the base knew of their relationship so she didn't have to worry about hiding her feelings anymore. "Oh god Sam what happened?" She whispered to no one in particular as she moved closer to the bed and started to examine the sutures and the scrapes. 

"Mmmm...." came the mumbled reply and Sam slowly opened her eyes but to her she didn't see anything. From the touch and the smell she knew it was Janet touching her, "Janet" she whispered tiredly. ~What a nightmare, no one is going to believe it~ she thought. "Why are the lights out," she asked licking her lips. 

Janet swallowed finding speaking to be very difficult. "Sam I want you to stay calm. I need you to stay calm," she stressed placing her hand on Sam's cheek as she looked into her eyes and fished for her penlight with the other hand. "Sam baby, the lights aren't off," she said softly. 

"What" the woman demanded hurriedly, "Janet...that...isn't funny" she said as the light shined in her eyes and there was no movement. "What are you saying?" she said terrified then. "I'm...I'm blind?" 

The monitors started to scream then, "Heart rate rising, BP 110 over 120, pulse is 160" the nurse said reading off numbers. 

"Doctor" Warner asked already preparing a sedative if they needed it. 

"Sam you need to calm down or I am going to have to sedate you again," Janet informed placing the penlight back in her pocket after finding Sam's eyes unresponsive. "I'm not playing around here Sam. SG1 called for a medical emergency and SG8 escorted Doctor Warner to the planet you traveled to," she paused hating that this happened to Sam and that she wasn't on the base to be the one going after her. 

Before Sam could reply her body started to convulse, the muscles tightening up as she screamed and started to shake. The seizures gripped her like she was a rag doll, "Vitals all over the board" the nurse stated as she grabbing one of Sam's legs to hold it down as another tech rushed in to help hold her down. 

Janet was holding Sam's shoulders pressing her back into the bed. "Warner the sedative now," she yelled needing to get Sam calm so her vitals would stabilize before anything could go wrong. 

Soon Sam was again sleeping, her features relaxed almost as if nothing in the world was wrong but everyone knew that wasn't true. 

Doctor Warner shook his head, "Any ideas? I'm out of them Doctor Fraiser, the tests show no reason why she shouldn't be able to see. Her toxicology screen was clear, MRI, head CT, and x-rays all fine. Everything else is borderline normal. She's in perfect health only blind." 

Janet rubbed her face and eyes with her hands. "Is there anything the rest of SG1 can tell us about the alien artifact she was studying? Maybe the answers lay there," Janet suggested hoping that to be the case because on her end she had no answers. "Keep her sedated for now. We will wake her in four hours and try again," Janet directed. "I'll be in my office trying to figure this out till then." She left and barely made it to her office when the tears started to fall. This was not good, not good at all. Sam could live with pretty much anything but loosing her sight was the one thing she wouldn't be able to cope with no matter how much Janet tried. 

It wasn't more than minutes before all of were crowding outside her office, "DOC" O'Neil yelled, "'Get out here and tell us what's going on with Carter" 

"Jack maybe you shouldn't yell, Sam could be resting and...." Daniel began. 

"I don't care Daniel, she's my XO and I want to know how in hell she is before I go up and demand that Hammond let us go back to that miserable planet" he said angrily. "I swear how many times do I have to tell you and Carter not to touch things? You'd think you guys were two or..." 

"We didn't touch things Jack, I told you that and...." 

Janet didn't bother to answer to either man she just collapsed on her couch and covered her face with her hands crying. 

As the two men argued Teal'c was the only one who walked over and entered Janet's closed off door and nodded to her, "Doctor Fraiser I do not wish to disturb you but I wished to inquire about Lt. Colonel Carter." 

"Other than telling you that she is blind," Janet said as tears continued to fall. "There is nothing more I can say except that every test we have run says there is nothing wrong with her that she is in perfect health. Nothing is explaining her blindness." Janet wiped her eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. 

As a Jaffa Teal'c wasn't used to acting in emotion but he also understood the duty of friendship well and he walked over and sat down beside Janet, "I am sorry Doctor Fraiser but we will find the answer" he told her with determination. 

"I hope so," Janet said 

Sam Carter mumbled in her sleep and slowly rolled over but didn't open her eyes; it would do no good anyway. She was frustrated, scared, upset and so many emotions. Her job, her life depended on nothing more than her being able to see and now...now she was worthless at not only work but also home. She had no idea how much time had passed but she did know if she got upset again that someone would sedate her and she was tired of laying around though she should get used to be that worthless. 

Janet had her emotions back under control not that she wanted them that way but Sam needed her so she put herself aside and focused on Sam. She was currently sitting behind her desk with textbooks opened and scattered everywhere with the occasional notepaper along with it. She was getting nowhere and finding no answers. 

"Doctor" a nurse, said poking her head into her office, "The readings say Lt. Colonel Carter is awake." 

Thank you," Janet said and with a heavy sigh she stood up dropping her pad and pen on her desk. She made her way to Sam's bed sitting on the edge. "Hey Sam," Janet said softly not wanting to scare her. "How are you feeling?" She rubbed her back hoping Sam would talk with her. 

"Other than being blind as a damned bat fine, thanks," she answered a bit sarcastically. "When can I get out of here?" 

"I don't see any reason why you can't leave in a few hours," Janet said. "And don't get mad at me I'm not the one that caused this," Janet said standing. "If you want to talk have a nurse come get me since you don't seem to want me around at the moment." 

"All I want is a gun and some privacy," she said rolling over miserably. 

"That's not going to happen Sam and you know it," Janet said a little angrily. 

"Whatever" was the reply as she closed her eyes but it really didn't make a difference to Sam? She couldn't see either way all she knew was that she wouldn't live like this. Hell she couldn't even help in the investigation about what had happened, she couldn't type, she couldn't do anything but lay around like a worthless lump of shit. 

Janet sighed and leaned against the bed. "Damn it. Sam I am doing everything I can to fix this," Janet said feeling like a failure since she new she couldn't fix this. Not this time. 

"I'm sure you are" Carter said softly. "Don't waste your time Janet...go home...home to your two daughters and forget about me. I'm worthless now." 

"Sam you are not worthless. You may not be able to see, but you will learn to function with out it with help," Janet said. "I love you and even blind I still love you. And they are your daughters too, unless you don't love them anymore." 

"Function..." the woman said angry and sat up staring, not even in Janet's direction at first and glared or close to it. "HOW IN HELL CAN I FUNCTION? How much of my work Janet is dependent on my being able to at LEAST see the damned problem? I doubt there is a how to fix the Stargate book in Braille. I can't read, I can't type, I can't conduct experiments, hell I can't even go pee by myself without someone leading me so you want to tell me HOW in hell I can function without my sight? As for the girls" she continued not slowing down. "They'll be better off with you, at least you can see what the hell they look like" she said and threw herself back down on the bed in tears. "Just...leave me alone" she sobbed. 

"You don't have to be doing the same work you do now. There are many things that the blind can do," Janet said moving to try to hold Sam. "And as for the girls they love you as much as I do, so don't pull this crap with us." 

"You're wrong" she snapped and scooted away, "Just...leave me...alone" she said again the tears continuing into the pillow she held so tight over her face. She wanted to hold it forever but she wouldn't make Janet watch that and turned her face away from the woman and didn't say anything. 

Janet let her own tears fall once again and moved off the bed. She took a seat in the chair by the bed after all Sam wouldn't know if she was there or not. She sat vigil over her lover as she cried unable to help her. 

Over the next several hours SG1 visited, Sam assured them she was fine and was grateful when they left. The General came down and said they had a call in to the Tok'ra and her father since a team hadn't found anything useful on the planet and that he wanted her for a debriefing as soon as she was up to it. With the help of one of the nurses she was now dressed and preparing to be released and was just listening to Janet's instructions as she told her what she wanted her to do and not do including eat and rest. ~Yeah right, that's going to be so easy~ she thought shifting in the darkness hiding her headache and her fear. 

"Sam I only want to help you," Janet said hating it when Sam would shut her out. A nurse handed Janet a cane. "Thank you Abby." Janet turned her attention back to her love. "Sam I have a cane here specifically for the blind. I want you to try to use it. Do you know how?" 

"Blindness is not a big SGC skill Janet so no" she answered forcing herself to be calm and sighed. "I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help. Just show me how to use the damn thing so I don't break my neck on the way to my quarters ok" she asked. 

"Fine," Janet said a little too angrily. She softened her voice and continued after placing the cane in Sam's hand. "There is a little plastic ball at the end of the cane. You keep it on the ground and move it side to side directly in front of you. When you hit something you know where an item is. Granted you don't know what it is but after hitting enough surfaces you will begin to hear the difference each surface makes. When you're ready you can try walking to the briefing room, you already know where it is by memory now just picture how to get there and start walking. I will be following in case you have any trouble since I have to go there myself." Janet paused before adding. "I know this is hard on your Sam but you're not the only one. It's hard on me too cause I can't help you or cure it." Janet went quiet even calmed her breathing so Sam couldn't tell where she was. The only thing Janet allowed where the silent tears that were falling because Sam couldn't see them. 

She nodded and stood up, her hearing and smell allowed her to know where Janet was and she paused before moving, "What...what have you told the girls?" 

"I haven't told them anything. I haven't seen them or called them," Janet said not caring if Sam new she stayed here the whole time. 

Turning slightly so she was facing her Sam raised a hand and touched Janet's cheek, the tears felt below her fingers and Sam's own rolling down, "You...should go home Janet...home" she said dropping her hand. "To your family" she finished and moved off, bumping into several things but waved off hands to help her as she left. 

Janet closed her eyes wishing that the tears would stop whispering, "You are my family too." She followed behind Sam staying a little ways away since she wasn't wanted. 

Corridor/Elevator

It took Sam a lot more bruises, even once running into doors with her face before she found the elevator and as she waited she spoke, "I know you're behind me Janet" she said coldly. "Go home, go back to the girls. As soon.... after the briefing it won't matter anyway" she said as the elevator opened and she entered slowly, only barely missing the double doors. 

Janet entered the elevator after her. "I can't do that. Hammond wants me at the briefing too," Janet said. She pushed the button needed for the right floor and the elevator began to move. "You're my family too," she added softly not even sure if Sam heard it. 

"I'm going to a briefing now" she asked staring blankly straight ahead. "I thought Hammond said when I felt up to it?" 

"Are you telling me you don't feel up to attending the briefing?" Janet questioned not sure what the hell Sam was talking about. 

"It's fine, just my mind misunderstanding something apparently...I better get used to that" she said leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes. 

"You think the only reason Hammond wants me there is to keep an eye on you," Janet said a little angrily. "Well that's not the case here. He seems to think that I have some medical knowledge to add that will help shed some light on the situation." 

Janet waited for the elevator to stop and the doors to open. As Sam began to walk through them she added. "Fine you don't want me there I won't be. You can tell Hammond the reason for my absence. You don't want me around you at all, fine consider it done but I am not going to tell the girls you want nothing to do with them. You can have that privilege all to yourself Colonel." Janet leaned back against the elevator walls watching Sam. 

The woman turned angrily toward Janet, "What the hell do you want from me Janet? Everything that makes me who I am gone and you want me to be fine with it...put a smile on my face" she demanded throwing the cane down as the elevator stopped. "FINE! I don't need you I don't need anyone. I'll be gone before the end of the day," she said holding out her hands and moving toward the exit, her feet tangling with the cane and she barely avoided cracking her head on the side of the door as she left. 

"For the record Sam," Janet yelled at her. "I don't expect you to be fine with this and I sure as hell don't define who you are by your sight or what you do for a job. If that's how you think I see you then you really don't know me as well as you thought." Janet let the pain and hurt show in her voice and face though Sam couldn't see how she looked. She closed the elevator doors slamming the button for the infirmary level and slide to the floor crying. When the doors opened again she got out grabbed her things from her office and headed to the surface. Since Cassie and Kira dropped her off and headed back home she called a cab to head home herself. 

Hammond's Office

After the briefing Sam asked to talk to the General alone though the guys had all wanted to take her out or take her home but she declined, "Thank you Sir" she said once he had helped her to a chair. "General since I can't see to write I'm sure you'll understand why I'm saying this instead. I'm resigning Sir, effective immediately." 

"I can't allow that Lieutenant Colonel." Hammond said in his Texan drawl. 

"Sir" she said closing her eyes, "With all due respect I'm a hindrance to the command like this. I can't even make it from the briefing room to your office without assistance. I'm no good as a researcher, I am not able to be a gate specialist, I sure as hell...heck can't go through the gate like this so what good am I here General? Doctor Fraiser's own report said there was nothing she could to get my sight back." 

"We are still waiting to hear from the Tok'ra and the Nox they may still be able to help," Hammond went on. "We don't even know if this is permanent or temporary. I will not accept a resignation until that is known." Hammond went quiet. "I'm sorry Sam I really am, but you are on medical leave until further noticed. Now go home Sam." 

Swallowing a lump the woman nodded and stood up after gripping the side of the desk, "I'll go to my quarters General, thank you Sir" she said holding out her hands as she moved to keep from running into anything. 

"Sam, go home please. Be with your family," Hammond said. "I'm not speaking as your commanding officer I'm speaking as your Uncle. Let me take you home." 

Stopping at his door she turned to face him, she saw only blackness, "I'm sorry Sir...it's better if Janet and the girls get used to...life without me. I won't spend my life depending on them like that, draining the life from them. Excuse Me," she said sadly, almost like she had nothing left and turned bumping into someone, it was Colonel O'Neil. "Sir would you help me to my quarters please?" 

Jack looked at Hammond, he knew he'd call Janet but the man took Sam's hand, "Sure Carter, come on." 

As soon as Major Carter had left his office Hammond was on the phone. "I need and outside line please, Fraiser residence." Hammond waited for the phone to be answered. 

Fraiser Residence

Cassandra answered and listened, "Yeah Grandpa George, hang on" she said and called her mom handing her the phone. "It's grandpa George," she said to her mother. 

Janet had just entered the house when Cassie told her the phone was for her. "Fraiser here," she said her voice horse and raspy. 

"Doctor Fraiser" came the deep Texas drawl, "Is there a reason why Major Carter didn't go home with you and just fought with me to resign? I thought you said she was all right except for the sight issue." 

"She is Sir," Janet stated. "She feels worthless with out her sight and her reason for not coming home was because she didn't want to, not because of me. I tried to get her and she argued with me, telling me that she was no longer my family and that she pretty much wanted nothing to do with the girls." Janet took a deep breath rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I put in a request with Mackenzie to speak with her since she is falling rapidly into depression. I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do to help, she didn't even want me in the briefing even though you requested my presence. Maybe the Colonel will have better luck with her." 

"So what do you recommend Doctor Fraiser? We keep her here on base like a hermit" he asked not so calmly. 

"It's up to Sam. I told her she could come here and I tried to bring her home," Janet let a small sob escape. "I have rented a small apartment near the base, if she prefers to use it. It's reserved under her name and no money will be lost if she doesn't accept the place," Janet hung her head. "Other than that there isn't a damn thing she will let me do and if you were to tell her where the arrangements for the apartment came from she would refuse it. She wants nothing to do with me Sir and I tried to at least get her to keep the girls in her life, but I'm afraid I have failed there too." 

"Doctor..." then the man paused and walked over closing his door before picking up the phone. "Janet let me go unofficial here, what kind of woman would say Sam was? I mean before this happened." 

"She was happy and determined," Janet said. "She loved her family and would do anything for them, but she never allowed herself to become dependent on anyone. She considered herself too strong for that." Janet took a breath. "What's your point Sir?" 

"That is the point Doctor," he said taking his seat and sighed. "Janet she's a proud woman who is running scared. You and I have seen Sam cope with about every kind of disability out there but now...this makes her totally dependent on someone and the one person she trusts, the one person she needs" he admitted slowly. "Is you, even if she won't admit that. She doesn't want to see you struggle by helping her, put yourself in her place. You're going to have to be twice as stubborn as she is. Now I'll ask again, do you want her to stay on base, the apartment or do you want me to have someone bring her home?" 

"I want her here Sir, but that is not my choice. I will not force Sam into something she does not want," Janet said firmly. "And I have already talked to her about rehabilitation and learning to cope with being blind. I explained that there is help for her, to get her to where she can live on her own. Her response was all she wanted was a loaded gun and to be left alone." 

"I see Doctor, thank you. If there's nothing else," Hammond said with a firm nod, "I'm sorry to have bothered you at home." 

"I'm sorry I am unable to help restore Sam's sight," Janet said, regret obvious in her voice. 

"Doctor" Hammond began with a sigh, "You do not need to be sorry, you aren't God and contrary to what you think Major Carter needs you if she's to get through this. Sight or not she is still a valuable resource to this command, as a teacher if nothing else, so my only problem now is how in hell to convince her of that." 

"I know that Sir and I am here for her. I still love her," Janet said starting to cry again. "But she doesn't want me." 

"That isn't true Doctor" he insisted, "She doesn't want to see you hurt. Even as she tried to resign her only reason for not going home was that she didn't want to see it drain her family and that's you and the girls." 

Kira and Cassandra were standing behind Janet waiting on an explanation, they had heard the one-ended conversation and it was scaring them. 

"What I wasn't able to get through to her was that she is causing me more pain by pushing me away and wanting nothing more to do with me," Janet admitted not sure how much longer she could keep from breaking down again. 

"I'll convey that to her Doctor, don't loose heart yet" he promised. "Good night Doctor and thank you for your input." 

"Good night Sir," Janet said as she slowly hung up the phone and began to rise off the chair she was sitting on. 

"Mom" both girls said together and Kira rushed up crying. 

"Mom what's wrong with Sam" she asked. 

Janet kissed Kira's head then turned heading towards the kitchen. "There was an accident when SG1 went of world and Sam became blind. I can't fix it and I don't know if it is permanent or not." Janet sighed. "We are waiting word from the Nox or the Tok'ra to see if maybe they can help." 

"So where is she" Cassandra asked as both girls followed her mother. "Why isn't she home where we can take care of her?" 

"Yeah, like you and she did when I was sick" Kira said curiously. 

"She is at the base staying in her quarters because she doesn't want to come home and be a burden to us. She feels that she is now dependent on people and doesn't want us to deal with her," Janet repeated grabbing a beer. She took a long drink before going on. "I tried to get her to come home with me and I want to help take care of her till this gets taken care of but she told me to get away from her that she wanted nothing more to do with me." Janet headed out of the kitchen with her beer and went up the stairs to her room. 

The girls followed their mother several minutes later and crawled in bed with her, it was clear they had been crying and both held her, "She'll be home mom" Cassandra said hugging. "I know she will." 

SGC Complex   
Carter Quarters

For a day and a half Sam didn't leave her quarters, she refused even under a direct order to talk to Mackenzie and she wouldn't eat but more than a bite or two which was the report that Janet got that morning when she came into work. Everyone had tried to talk to her but all she did was sit in bed and stare straight ahead, unseeing. The Tok'ra wouldn't be able to get Jacob there for at least another week; he was on a mission and so far no word from the Nox or the Asgard. 

After reading the report Janet was furious and she stormed into Sam's quarters. "You may not give a damn whether you live or die but there are some of us that still love you no matter what you think and no matter how dependent you are. So you are going to eat or I will have your ass hauled to the infirmary, you restrained on a bed and an IV put in." 

"Hello to you too Janet" Carter said not moving, she looked terrible and hadn't changed clothes since the mission it looked like. Except to use the head, which she had only damn near broken her neck the first time finding, she stayed in bed. "As you can likely smell the guys have been bringing by food but I'm not hungry so do whatever you feel you need to." 

"I don't want to see you hurt yourself Sam. I want you to come home," Janet said softening her voice. "Let us help take care of you." 

"You mean let you take care of the worthless cripple" she stated but didn't sound angry, just like she had given up. "Mackenzie was here the other day, he says you told him to talk to me." 

"Yes I did, because I know you're depressed and have given up on life on your family," Janet said. "The family you said you would never hurt, the very same one that you are pushing away now and hurting because of it." Sorrow and pain filled Janet's voice but she wasn't about to hide it any longer from Sam. 

"And how do you think" she asked sitting up and swung her legs over the side to go into the bathroom, "Taking care of a worthless cripple for the rest of their lives would affect that family Janet? Cassie already emailed me, the Colonel was nice enough to read it to me since I'm too stupid to do it myself, that she's planning on waiting to go to college because I'm hurt. Hell maybe they can spend their future wiping the drool from my chin or wiping the tears from my eyes for me since I can't see to do it myself. A great future for them and for you wouldn't you say" she asked standing up and headed toward the bathroom, not hitting anything. 

"And you haven't listened to a word I have been saying to you," Janet yelled. "As far as using a computer there are programs that only require a microphone for you to talk into and they do all the typing for you. Hell they will even read your fucking email if you wanted it too." Janet threw her arms in the air as she stood in the bathroom watching Sam. "Did you even noticed you made it all the way to the bathroom without hitting or running into anything." 

"Your point" she asked setting down to use it slowly. 

"My point is Sam that at first you may be running into things constantly but through trial and error you are mentally mapping the layout of the room," Janet paused. "You are learning to cope and live with being blind." 

"Only because I don't want to piss on the floor" she commented wiping and stood up to wash her hands. "Great, I can use the bathroom. That likens me to about a four year old. What do you want from me Janet?" she demanded turning to face her. "Mackenzie wants to commit me and let him 'treat' me. Isn't that rich, I'm not depressed." 

"Sam you have given up on your life and you asked me to give you a loaded gun and stick you in an empty room," Janet stated. "If that's not depressed then what the hell is it?" 

"I believe you call it coping" she commented with a wry smile as she moved toward Janet and listened as she moved back before going back to bed and staring at the darkness ahead. "Tell me what you want Janet." 

"I want you to go on living Sam. I don't want you to give up on anything, your life or us, our family, like you have done." Janet moved the bedroom door. "No matter what you decide there is always a place for you at home whether you want it or not and I will always love you. Nothing in this world not even death could change that. But I can't force you to love me anymore or to accept the love I am offering freely. That choice has to be your Sam no matter how much I want to make the decision for you." 

Infirmary

But no one saw Sam for the rest of the day until Jack O'Neil showed up with the rest of SG1, "Doc can we talk to you please?" 

"We endeavor to help Major Carter" Teal'c said cutting to the point as they entered her office. 

"Jack now might not be..." Daniel began. 

"It's fine," Janet said gesturing to the chairs. "Close the door if you could, I don't really want my staff to hear you yelling at me." 

"For God's sakes Doc why would we yell" O'Neil asked as Teal'c closed the door. "All we want is you to tell us how to help Carter. She's insisting she's fine...hell I wouldn't be fine with this. I don't approve of what you did with Mackenzie, but that's your call not mine there though I did enjoy it when she told him to jump on his eagles and rotate." 

"Indeed" Teal'c said at that and raised his eyebrows. 

"Now will be the part you start to yell and me because I can't tell you how to help her, because I can't fix this and I can't help her," Janet said sadly look down at her desk. "Sam has to want to help herself first and till she does there isn't a damn thing we can do. I can tell her what to do till I'm blue in the face, but all that will come of it is me fainting." 

"Janet" Daniel began cutting off Jack before he could speak and took a seat. "Can you tell us what's wrong with Sam? What's making her act this way? Is there a physical cause? Chemical imbalance, drugs, anything?" 

"She is pulling within herself, feeling depressed and worthless," Janet said. "There is no physical condition causing this except her blindness because she doesn't want to be a burden on anyone, she doesn't want to be dependent, which is how she sees herself now." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "There are people that can teach her how to live everyday life being blind, how to function without sight but she doesn't want to learn. She doesn't want to go on living and there's not a DAMN THING I can do to change that." 

"THERE IS DAMN WELL SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT" Jack O'Neil hollered and moved toward the door just as Janet's phone rang. 

"Fraiser," Janet said upon answering her phone. 

"Doctor this is the front gate, you did give Major Carter clearance to leave the mountain right" came a voice. 

"Major Carter is free to do as she pleases. How is she getting to where she is going? And where might that destination be?" Janet asked worried about Sam. 

Glancing over his shoulder the man watched her bump into a fence, "She didn't say the second part and at the moment she is walking ma'am though I offered to have someone drive her home or wherever she was going." 

"Make sure you drive her wherever she wants to go and be at her call when she needs to go somewhere else," Janet informed. "I want you to call me personally after she exits the car and heads to wherever it is she is going. She is not to know, is that understood?" 

"UH yes ma'am" he offered watching Sam fall but she got up. "Doctor any ideas on how I get her in the car? She's ordered me to leave her alone, so without contradicting orders." 

"You have it on higher authority to help her, so don't worry about breaking orders you won't be charged for any of it," Janet promised. "And as for getting her into a car. I suggest the easiest way by picking her up and placing her there. Handcuff her to the door and anything else if you have too. Better use the back seat it has child proof doors she won't be able to open them and jump out." Janet smiled a little at that thought. 

"Yes ma'am and....Hang on a moment..." he sat the phone down. 

"Doc what's going on" Jack O'Neil asked from the doorway he was in. 

"Sam is trying to leave the base. I am ordering an Airman to accompany her wherever she wants to go. She is getting driven if she likes it or not." Janet wasn't playing games anymore, but she wasn't willing to have Sam committed or strapped to one of her infirmary beds either. 

"I'm going to ring her..." 

"Hello Doctor, she's allowed an officer to escort her back into the mountain after she took a fall near the road...damn near missed being run over with her wandering" he stated out of breath. "She's on her way back to her quarters though I tried to let her let me take her to the Infirmary, but she refused ma'am." 

"I will send someone there to take care of her. Thank you for informing me. I want all who are posted at the guard station to know that if Major Carter expects to leave this base she has to have an escort of some sort whether she likes it or not to keep her from getting killed," Janet informed the guard playing dirty now but it would not be the end. She hung up the phone and turned her attention to the rest of SG1. "Maybe you can help her to keep her from killing herself," Janet said dead serious. 

"If I don't kill her first. Come on T" O'Neil snapped as they left. 

That left Daniel and Janet alone and he got up closing the door and went to sit on her sofa and patted the spot beside it, "Come here Janet" he said softly. 

"I have told you everything there is," Janet said. "Please go try to help Sam, she is the one that needs it." Despite what she said she still went to sit on the couch. 

Softly he put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her over so her head was resting on his shoulder, "I'm not going to make excuses for her Janet...there are none as to why she is pushing her family away, but I will tell you that I've been very close to where Sam was" he said softly holding her. "When my parents died I withdrew, I pulled so far into myself I hoped I died at five years old, but one person didn't give up on me. They made me miserable, so miserable that I had to fight back just to hold my head above water so I'd be miserable and you know what" he asked tapping her arm gently. 

"If you have been close to Sam's position to her state of mind then you should be the one over there talking with her not here with me." 

"I'm not the one she needs to hear from" he promised and squeezed her. "Sam is lashing out at you Janet because if she can get you to give up on her then she'll have the right to give up on herself. She loves you, respects your opinion but if you fight with her, don't let her give up," Jackson explained. "Then she'll keep her head above water enough to fight you. Do you understand?" 

"I have been fighting Daniel every step of the way," Janet admitted then hung her head. "I am afraid I'm beginning to tire and can't keep going. It's tearing my heart apart and I'm not going to survive it." 

Reaching out he lifted her chin and smiled, "You will Janet...because you love her and you know inside there somewhere is the Sam that loves you and the girls too. Make her eat, make her go home, hell slap her silly if you have to." 

"She'll hate me for it and leave, but hey at least she will be alive right?" Janet said trying to look on the bright side. 

Daniel smiled, "I can't tell you how I know Janet, but she won't hate you" he promised gently. "Trust me ok? Now go on, you have some fighting to do and if you need a pep talk or to cry on a shoulder I'm there; day or night and don't even get soggy." 

"Thanks Daniel," Janet said giving him a faint smile and kissing his forehead. "I may need someone to pick me up once or twice." She stood and began to head for her door. 

Carter Quarters

The walk to Sam's quarters was done in a blur. She didn't even remember leaving her office but found herself standing outside the door. She knocked a little hesitant about entering where she wasn't wanted. 

"COLONEL IF THAT'S YOU I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO FIGHT" came Carter's voice. 

"It's not the Colonel," Janet said softly. "Can I come in?" 

"Come in Janet" Sam called as she still sat on the bed staring blankly ahead, a bandage on her hand though this time from the fall she had taken topside. 

She entered and closed the door behind her, but stood in the middle of the room not bothering to take a seat in a chair or on the bed. Afraid she would be getting thrown out in a few minutes. "I wanted to come and see how you are doing?" Janet stated trying to explain why she was there but feeling very uncomfortable and unwanted. 

"Well enough considering the circumstances and you can stop being nervous" she said and offered a smile. "It's amazing that though I can't see my other senses are so acute, I can sense I guess that you're nervous. How are the girls?" 

"The girls are sad and distraught. They miss you," Janet said truthfully shifting from one foot to the other. "And when you loose one sense the others start to compensate for it. It's part of how one learns to live with a disability." 

"I'm sure" she offered but didn't say anything more. 

"I'm glad your starting to do better," Janet said not sure what she was exactly doing. "I would like you to eat something though. I can have someone bring some food when I leave. And....and I do think you should talk to someone about this no matter who it is." Janet shifted on her feet again. "If...if you want I can bring the girls by to visit you or take you to the house for a while?" 

"No thank you" Sam said for all offers. 

"Please Sam let someone help you," Janet pleaded. "I don't like seeing you this way and I'm not referring to the blindness either. I love you and want to help you," Janet choked back a sob. Sam didn't need her to be getting emotional; she needed someone with a level head that could fix this. 

"I'm fine Janet, thank you," she said officially. 

"Of course you are, I can see that," Janet said passing a little. "I mean come on what the hell is wrong with me for not noticing something so obvious?" 

Sam sighed and turned toward her, "What are you talking about?" 

"Considering there's nothing wrong and I see that something is wrong," Janet said. "There has to be something wrong with me then after all according to you, you say you're fine." Janet said that sentence and confused even herself. 

"Janet" the woman said sighing and sat forward. "My life is dependent on my seeing, without it I'm nobody...nothing and I won't live like that. Some cripple for people to feel sorry for...pretending my life means something when it doesn't" Sam told her. "I'd sooner die than live like that." 

"You're not useless and you don't need your eyes to be able to teach someone. Once the problem or situation is explained you can do fine just on your mind alone," Janet argued. "I'm sorry but I think your life means something. At least I thought the family aspect meant something to you, but hey I guess I was wrong there too." Janet let tears fall down her face happy that Sam could not see them. "I'm glad to know that you are willing to die and give up on our family. On me." 

"You don't understand," she snapped angrily and rolled over, "I'm saving the family...saving you all from having to watch a worthless woman who has no purpose in her life anymore." 

"Sam in case you never realized," Janet said raising her voice slightly. "You are my heart and soul. Your my everything, the reason I keep on living" she stopped letting that sink in. "Do you have any idea what will happen to this family once that element is removed?" 

"You'll grieve and move on" she insisted not moving. 

"No I wont Sam," Janet said truthfully. "A piece of me will die with you. What makes me who I am will burn out when you die. All that will be left is this hollow shell." She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Once that happens that's it. I will be alive yes, but I will just be going through the motions. I won't care about anything, my job, myself or the girls." 

"You'll always care about the girls so don't lie to me" Sam insisted and for one brief moment thought about lowering her walls but she couldn't...she wouldn't. Janet would sense that and slide right in, she always did and if she got in she'd make Sam feel better and she didn't want to feel better because then she wouldn't think about jumping off the mountain or perhaps putting a gun in her mouth and pulling the trigger. 

"We are a family in ever essence except one way. We're not married," Janet, stated matter of factly. "But you know what even though you don't have a ring on that finger in my heart that's how I see us. Married Sam. So no I am not joking when I say everything inside me will die with you." Janet continued to let the tears fall but kept from sobbing so Sam couldn't hear her emotional distress. 

The woman rolled over and sat up staring ahead, unseeing eyes crying, "What do you want from me Janet? To go home and make love to half a woman, to let the girls cater to me because I can't move through the house by myself? Have some Airman explain my own notes to me in terms he can't even understand?" 

"I want you to fight Sam. It's that simple," Janet said moving closer to the bed. "When we make love you don't use your eyes anyway. You do it by touch. And as for the house you let us help you get reacquainted with it to the point when you're moving about freely." She took another step closer. "I said it before. I love you and there is nothing that could change that, being blind or having burns across 90% of your body. Nothing can change the way I feel about you. Do you understand that?" 

"Fine" she said sadly, "You can take me home, I'll eat all right" Sam asked but that was as far as she was bending. 

"It's a start Sam. It's a start," Janet said with a slight smile. "Come on, lets go home." Janet now stood next to the bed and held Sam's hands pulling her so they were standing facing each other. Janet released Sam's hands and wrapped her arms around Sam's waist resting her forehead against Sam's chest as she cried. She missed the closeness they shared and the thought of loosing it forever scared the hell out of her. 

But instead of holding her Carter helped her aside and moved to get her coat where she remembered it was, "Yeah sure" was her only answer. 

This made Janet cry a little harder and a slight sob ripped through her throat despite her actions to suppress it. She moved to the door holding it open as they walked through. Janet let Sam trail the wall not trying to offer her any kind of help. They reached the elevator and were soon on ground level. "Here," Janet said placing the cane back in Sam's hands. "Just follow my voice and you will find the car. Focus on me and let the cane tell you when something lies in your path." Janet kept talking as Sam walked. "So what would you like for dinner?" 

"Nothing so it doesn't matter," she said as they stopped at the security gate and she started to trip only righting herself. She listened as Janet told her to tell Hammond and SG1 that she and Sam went home. "So you're taking the day off when you really shouldn't to molly coddle the cripple huh," she asked walking and following Fraiser's scent more than anything else. 

"No I am not taking the day off. I have been her for about fourteen hours. My shift ended already but I kept working," Janet said. "And you said that you would eat something." 

"A sandwich is fine" she answered and stopped when Janet told her to. "What are we supposed to tell the girls about the cripple?" 

"They know you are blind and that I am trying to find a way to cure it," Janet sighed. "I wish you would stop seeing yourself and referring to yourself as crippled." Janet looked over the car to where Sam was standing. "Take four steps forward and you should be able to reach the door handle." Janet was now sitting inside and had the passenger's window down to help Sam find the door a little easier. "Besides you never needed sight to make love to me and that makes you very talented. Especially since only you can make my body do those things," Janet said the last bit a little softer so no one else but Sam would here. 

"None of that matters, the military hardly pays for that service Janet" she commented finally getting in putting the cane beside her and reached back on instinct and memory to get her seatbelt. "Something else I'll never be able to do again, drive. At least now I have a real reason to sell my bike, hell all my stuff it's worthless...like me" she admitted buckling the belt and closed her eyes. 

"Damn it Sam, please stop. I don't think you're worthless," Janet pleaded. "And I want to inform you on a little piece of truth. By pushing your family away your hurting them more than you would if they were helping you. Think about that. You really don't want to be the one to rip the family apart." 

"Whatever" she commented, the rest of the ride made in silence. The truth was if Sam had the guts she should have already ended it. 

Fraiser Residence

Janet pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. "We're home." She was going to direct Sam to the door when their two daughters assaulted her. All Janet could do was watch and cry at what was happening. 

"I'm glad you're finally home," the girls cried out as they wrapped their arms around Sam. 

It was Cassie who noticed Sam's odd response. Usually Sam said because they loved them now it was just mom. "Do you not love us anymore Sam?" Cassie asked pulling away from her slightly. 

"Of course I do" Sam insisted without hesitation, "But Cassie I...the truth is I don't know if I'll ever be better or how much good I'll be to any of you if I don't get better. I want you both" she said stroking Kira's hair slightly and rubbing Cassie's leg, "To understand that even if something happens to me that you still have your mom who loves you very, very much." 

"Sam we don't care if you don't get better and don't care if you can't help out in the same way you use to," Cassie said beginning to cry. "We just want you and your love. That's all." Cassie was now in tears and moved away from Sam getting up and running up the stairs to her room, if Sam wasn't going to allow the tears neither should she. 

Lowering her head Carter sighed when she heard feet and knew Janet had rushed in, "It was Cassie, she's upstairs" the woman explained and felt Kira scoot away a little then. "I shouldn't have come Janet...I'll just take a cab back to the base " she said moving to stand up, "Tell Cassie I'm sorry. Kira would you get me the phone so I can call a cab?" 

Janet shook her head at Kira telling her not to get the phone. "Sam what happened?" Janet asked calmly. 

"I shouldn't have come is what happened" she insisted angrily at herself. "I allowed you to convince me...I allowed myself to think maybe, just maybe it could be ok and all I did was upset Cassie. I'm leaving, with or without the cab" she said and took a step forward not realizing she was right near the coffee table and went toppling head over heals. She cut her head and her hand on the edge as she lay in her heap, "GOD DAMN IT" she cried out loudly. 

"SAM" Kira said jumping up. 

Janet was immediately at Sam's side trying to look at the cuts. "Sam, something had to have been said, she wouldn't have started crying and taken off if it was just about you being blind. She loves you too much and wouldn't let that get in the way." Janet got Sam into a sitting position. "Besides you are not leaving anywhere. You are staying the night. And that's final," Janet said putting her foot down. "This is a good idea. You need to be around the people that love you." 

"Why? I already hurt one person I loved" she said and pushed Janet away when she tried to look at her head. "Just help me up Janet. Kira are you ok" she asked worried that the girl had been hurt when she fell. 

"I'm ok Sam" she said and saw her sister come down. 

Cassandra ran over and helped her mom get Sam back to the sofa, "Sam I'm sorry...I'm sorry...are you ok? Let mom help, maybe you need x-rays and...." 

"Cassie I'm fine, just my own stupidity honey" she promised tiredly. "It's just a cut, I'll live. How is the table? How big a mess did I make?" 

"The table is fine Sam," Janet said. "You didn't break anything but your skin." Janet made a gesture to Cassie and soon the girl had Sam in a tight embrace. 

"I'm sorry for running off. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry Sam," she kept repeating over and over. 

"It's all right Cassie...I'd have run off too" she promised stroking her hair gently as Janet went back to make her sandwich. 

Janet returned a few minutes later with a sandwich for Sam and one for each of the girls. "Please eat it all Sam," Janet said as she headed into her study. 

"Where are you going?" she asked Janet as she sniffed the sandwich, her favorite ham and cheese with mayo. 

"I was going to my study. Give you a little time with the girls," Janet said knowing Sam really didn't want her around. Janet took another few steps in that direction. 

"Stay" she said taking a bite of the sandwich. 

"Yeah mom, we can watch a movie," Kira suggested. 

"It's all right Sam. I don't mind," Janet, said then added. "I don't want to intrude." She began walking again. 

"Janet" Sam called enough and heard her stop. Swallowing the bite of sandwich she felt the girls up against her, "I want you to stay, please?" 

"All right," Janet relented and crossed the room again to sit in the reclining chair. "Do you need anything else Sam?" 

She shook her head until she heard Kira speak as the movie started, "Mom come over here with us" she stated. 

The girls were naive enough to believe everything was fine and for a few minutes Sam smiled and nodded since she knew Janet wouldn't come over unless she told her to but, once she started to eat she realized she was really hungry and had downed whatever was in the glass Janet had given her, it was milk. 

Janet had to laugh a little at the fact that Sam drank all her milk the one thing she really hated to drink. She moved and sat on the floor in front of Sam not wanting to try to be anything more. She knew she wasn't and this was even pushing it. 

"Kira" Sam began as she sat back on the sofa while eating her sandwich, "Would you get me some more milk and a blanket please?" she asked. Janet's close proximity was making it hard to stay distant but this terrified her, she wasn't strong enough to totally rework her life like this. 

Janet began to feel Sam's uneasy and placing a finger to her mouth she told both Kira and Cassie not to say a word as she moved back to the chair. 

"Here you go Sam," Kira said handing Sam back her glass and draping the blanket over her. 

In one go Sam drained the glass and handed it back, "Janet you moved" she said deciding to try to make a go. Her love had never lied to her and if she was going to trust anyone it was her 

"Yeah I did," Janet, admitted not watching the TV but her family instead. 

"Well would you mind coming back?" the sightless woman asked. 

"Are you really sure about that Sam?" Janet questioned. "Is it what you really want?" 

"Mom" the girls asked curiously, the women were acting weird. 

"Its ok girl's" Carter assured them, "Your mom and I have just had a rough couple of days. Yes Janet, I'm sure," she said staring straight ahead, the darkness darkening her soul with each seconds. 

Janet nodded even though she knew Sam could not see her. She moved up off the chair and back to her spot on the floor in front of Sam. "Let me know when you are getting a little tired." 

"Kira would you scoot over" the woman asked. 

"Sure" the girl said and did so while munching on her sandwich. 

Sitting forward Sam pulled a hand out from under the blanket and held it out to where she felt Janet was, she hoped she'd take it and get up on the sofa under the blanket with her but she couldn't expect anything as a cripple. 

Janet felt the hand on her shoulder and grabbed it. When she felt Sam tug a little she slowly took the spot next to Sam and pulled her to her own body allowing her arm to rest around Sam's waist. If this wasn't what Sam wanted she could move back away. 

At first she tensed, the contact scaring her when she couldn't see but the warmth called her. She listened to Janet's heartbeat, letting it relax her and finally she rested her head on the woman's chest, as they lay curled up in the blanket. 

Kira snuggled into Janet while Cassandra snuggled into Sam and someone who didn't know what had happened would think nothing had changed but of course a lot had. 

They remained like that for several hours till Janet finally spoke up. "Girls time to head for bed. You too Sam," Janet said softly as she removed her arm from around Sam's waist and stretched. 

The girls groused a little but then bid both adults good night before heading up for Bed. Sam listened for a long moment and then scooted toward the area that had Cassie knowing a pillow was up which she proceeded to fluff. 

"Sam to bed no sleeping on the couch," Janet smiled. "You need to get familiar with the house. Besides you will get a better sleep there." Janet grabbed Sam's hand and began to pull her up. 

"No" she insisted staying on the couch, "I'm...fine here Janet." 

"That's what I though," Janet said letting go of Sam's arm and heading away from the couch. She moved toward the front door and locked it and set the security alarm so if Sam did try to leave the alarm would go off. 

"I'm not a criminal Janet" she said when she heard the beep of the alarm. "I'm also not two, just a worthless cripple so I guess it's the same thing" she finished and laid down with her back to Janet, burying her face in the pillow so she could cry quietly. 

"I set the alarm every night," Janet stated. "You know that and you also know I don't think you're two or a cripple. Yes you're blind and yes you have a disability but news flash here. If you really wanted to I know that intellectually superior mind of your could accept your situation and live with it." Janet knelt in front of the couch placing her hand on Sam's back. "Let me ask you something Sam. If our positions where reversed. And I was the one blind and you had sight. If I was wanting to kill myself what would you do?" Janet asked softly wanting to know the answer. 

"That's a stupid question" she said sobbing but didn't roll over, "You...you know I'd...never let you. You being blind doesn't make you worthless or less beautiful to me Janet" she said before she even realized she had echoed exactly what her lover tried to tell her. 

Janet let Sam hear her crying. "Then why do you think I would do anything less? Am I that cold hearted of an individual?" 

"Of course not" Sam snapped and rolled over staring unseeing eyes up at the ceiling, the hot tears burning her cheeks. "You're the most caring person I know, it's one of the reasons I love you so much." 

Janet placed a hand on Sam's cheek wiping the falling tears. "You would do the same thing if our positions were reversed so why are you fighting me on this so much?" Janet kept crying, her own hot tears falling freely and unchecked. 

"Because you deserve someone better...someone who can at least look into your eyes and show you how much...how special you are" she choked out. "The girls deserve a whole family, not a mother with a cripple for a girlfriend that sucks the life out of here and them" and she tried to roll away but Janet wasn't letting her. Her need to hide high, she couldn't show how scared loosing her sight was making her...her whole world was changing. 

"And you don't?" Janet threw back at Sam. "Sight doesn't matter to me. You are still more than capable of making love to me if you really wanted to. You are capable of seeing through your touch but maybe I am a hideous person. Easy on the eyes but hideous to have to focus on touch." Janet swallowed the tightness in her throat. "Being blind doesn't make you any less of an individual in anyone's eyes but YOUR own. You are the only one that sees this as a weakness Sam. Only you and I know you're scared and that's the main reason you keep pushing me away. But I'm not going anywhere no matter how hard you push." 

Janet stopped for a moment. "Short of beating the whole crap out of me I am not going anywhere. I will be at your side no matter what." The tears kept falling and a sob finally managed to become free. 

"You deserve better" were her last words that night and for several days. 

It had been three days; Sam had done nothing at the house but sit on the couch or have one of the girls help her to the bathroom. She ate only when someone fed her and she simply sat and stared all day when one of the guys came over to sit with her while Janet worked or the girls were at school. Her stomach told her that Janet would be home any moment and then Teal'c, at least he was the least talkative one of the group, could leave since the girls were staying the night at the Colonel's. The Tok'ra had arrived yesterday and the healing device hadn't worked though they said it's possible that Jacob could still do something when he came but Sam doubted it. 

Janet came home and saw Teal'c sitting with Sam. She hung her head before dropping her bag and heading into the room. "Hey," she said tiredly. 

"Greetings Doctor Fraiser" Teal'c said rising and nodded. "Lt. Colonel Carter has not said anything and refused my requests to feed her sustenance at lunchtime." 

"Thank you Teal'c," Janet said laying a hand on the man's arm. "So are you ready to eat now Sam?" 

Sam shook her head as she stared at the TV, almost like she was watching but of course that was impossible. 

The Jaffa man shrugged, "If you have no further need of me Doctor Fraiser I shall return to the base." 

Janet held a finger up to stall the Jaffa's movements. "OK Sam I am going to give you a choice. You can either go up to the bedroom on your own with some help or I get Teal's to carry you up there kicking and screaming if he has too. Which shall it be?" 

The woman turned her sightless eyes to Janet, why did she want her upstairs but of course she wouldn't ask that. 

"Well Sam how are you going to get there?" Janet asked again before she started to count to three. "1" 

A bit confused the woman stood up slowly but didn't move, someone would help her or they'd let her sit back down but she really didn't care which one. 

Janet took Sam's hand and began to lead her up the stairs. She nodded her thanks to Teal'c and soon they were standing outside of their bedroom. She pulled Sam in and sat her on the bed. "Let's get you into some clean clothes," Janet said softly as she began to undress Sam. She was trying to stay as detached as possible, trying to ignore the feelings running through her but she couldn't. She let her hand lightly trail down Sam's side following every curse of her torso. 

The woman tensed and shivered a little, the cold of the air probably more than anything else. The Tok'ra had been Sam's last hope; she really was destined to live out her life as a worthless cripple now. The General had come over and tried to explain some of the jobs she could but none of them were a field unit, which is what she wanted, what she needed. Mackenzie had tried to get her to take anti depressants but she had refused by throwing them across the house and had refused to even take calls or see visitors besides SG1 from the base. Very quickly Sam Carter was loosing herself and she really didn't care. There were many nights she thought about going and throwing herself in the pool and drowning or perhaps down the stairs the one or two times she had been up there. 

With Sam sitting on the bed Janet stood before her seeming to be taller. She dipped her head and captured Sam's lips in a slow but passionate kiss trying to keep the contact for as long as she could as she brought her hands up to clasp together against the back of Sam's neck. 

And immediately she clawed at the bed enough to scoot away, clear back against the headboard looking terrified. She was panting, sweating and her eyes were wide though unseeing and she looked ready to jump through the wall. 

"Sam?" Janet said scared and mentally berating herself for not being able to control herself. 

The woman scooted around terrified, wrapped her arms around herself and pulling the blankets all free using them to cover herself. It wasn't that she was scared of Janet but she was scared of the intimacy that part of her life died when she lost her sight and she'd never get it back again. 

"Sam? Talk to me please," Janet, said starting to panic and taking a step away from the bed. 

"Take...me...back...to...the base" she said through gritted teeth. 

"Oh god I'm sorry Sam. I'm so, so sorry," Janet repeated over and over again as she really began to panic. 

Bringing her hands up Carter pounded on her head and her face like she was crazy, her panting increased and she actually looked in pain. 

Janet saw Sam inflicting pain on her self and grabbed at her hands. "No, don't hurt yourself for something I did. If you want to hurt something then hurt me, after all I'm the one that hurt you," Janet said. She didn't move but informed Sam. "I'll call Daniel he'll come...come and take you back to the base. I'm sorry." Then she released Sam's hands and began to scoot off the bed. 

But Sam's hand darted out, grabbed Janet's arm almost painfully, "NO....not...you..." and then she dropped the hand lowering her head into the bed and sobbed, "GOD IT HURTS" she cried like a baby. 

"I'm sorry baby," Janet said starting to cry thinking she was the one to cause the pain. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She wrapped her arms around Sam and tried to hold her but wound up more holding her as she leaned over her form instead of them sitting up. "I'm so, so, so sorry." 

"NO" she said struggling to breath and rolled over, the tears flowing from her eyes. "NOT YOU...Head...head hurts...GOD" she screamed bringing her hands up to cover her eyes. "Janet please...please help me" she begged clearly terrified at what was happening. The pain was like a sword through her mind, it just kept digging and digging and the voice wouldn't shut up. 

"I can't help if you don't tell me what exactly the problem is Sam. Describe everything to me," Janet said starting to calm herself down so she could help Sam. 

"I...I don't know" she whimpered lightly and then rolled over and scooted into Janet, "Hold me" Sam pleaded, "Please." 

Janet wrapped her arms as tightly around Sam as she could and began to rock her. "Do want some aspirin for the pain or a sedative?" 

"Yes" she gasped wrapped in Janet's arms, "Sedate me...please hurry" she pleaded the pain starting up again. 

Janet extricated herself from Sam's arms and ran to her medical bag grabbing the already prepared sedative. She returned to Sam and swabbed a spot on her arm and painlessly inserted the needle and pushed the plunger empting the syringe of its contents. She recaps it and threw it on the floor wrapping her arms around Sam again. "Baby I need to know if you want to go to the hospital or the infirmary?" 

Relaxing slightly as the medication started to fight against the pain Sam sighed and finally lowered her arm and saw it...or thought she did but that wasn't possible, "In....firmary" she said and then drifted quickly to sleep in her lover's arms. 

Janet held onto Sam a few minutes more before laying her on the bed and moving to the phone. She dialed the base number by heart. "Yes this is Doctor Fraiser I need an ambulance immediately at my home. There have been complications dealing with Major Carter, she is sedated momentarily but needs medical attention." Upon hanging up Janet dialed O'Neil's home number know he had already left the base. She waited for someone or the machine to pick up casting a glance back making sure Sam was OK for the moment. 

Seconds later a deep voice greeted her, "O'Neil." 

"Sir this is Doctor Fraiser," her voice came rushed. "I have requested an ambulance be sent to my house. I have to rush Major Cater in Sir." She stopped the panic flaring for a moment. "You may want to return to base Sir." 

"I'll be there but what happened Doctor," he demanded grabbing his hat off the counter where he had thrown it. "I thought she was doing ok physically?" 

"She was Sir," Janet said trying to figure out how to say this next part. "Well Sir Sam began to hold her head complaining of pain and I thought it had been from something I did. She informed me that it wasn't and her head was becoming more and more painful. I had to sedate her Sir before she panicked." 

"Understood Doctor, I'll meet you at the base" Hammond stated and then the phone hung up. 

SGC Complex   
Infirmary

The ambulance arrived and since they knew Doctor Fraiser the transport was done quickly and effectively. Once they arrived at base Janet was all official and doctor like though she was terrified and ordered all kinds of tests. Most of them were back when SG1 and Hammond came into her office, "Doctor how is she," the General asked. 

"What the hell happened Doc" O'Neil asked. 

"Other than the fact that she is blind and experiencing unbearable amounts of pain," Janet said. "Every damn test I have run says there isn't a god damn thing wrong with her. All the pain was centralized in her head yet the MRI and CAT scans shoes there is nothing." Janet was not getting more and more frustrated. Something was wrong but tests countered observations. 

"Janet calm down" Daniel said taking a seat, "We'll figure this out. What about stress? Could it have caused this whatever it was?" 

"Is the base at risk Doctor" Hammond asked pointedly. 

"The base isn't at risk Sir," Janet said and sighed. "Somehow the pain seems to be related with the blindness. Just before I administered the sedative Sam was not only holding her head but also the area around her eyes. It's not a stress issue. Granted there are high amounts of stress present but that is effecting her eating and sleeping. It isn't capable of this amount of pain." 

"So what's your plan Doc" O'Neil asked from his spot beside Hammond. "How are you going to attack this?" 

"I don't know," Janet said hanging her head. "Medically there is nothing causing the pain or blindness. The only option I have is when the sedative wears off is to administer painkillers to keep her somewhat lucid and hope that the cause will come to light. If the painkillers don't work I will be forced to sedate her again." 

A nurse came in, "Doctor Fraiser, Colonel Carter is up" she informed her boss. 

"Doctor I'll be in the control room if you need me" Hammond said and left though it was clear he didn't want to. 

The rest of SG1 didn't move, "Can we see her Doc?" 

"Not at the moment," Janet said sadly. "Until I can get the pain controlled one way or another Sam can't have any visitors." She turned and left headed to her lover's side. "Hey," she whispered softly. 

"Well I'll wait" Jack told the room and his friends as he took a seat right in Janet's office and started to play with something on her desk. 

Sam blinked unseeing eyes and offered a smile, "Hey" she whispered just as softly. "What...what happened Janet?" 

"How does your head feel?" Janet asked. "Is there a lot of pain?" 

"No" she answered feeling Janet holding her wrist among the beeping monitors. "Still blind though. Are you and the girls ok?" she asked tiredly, her voice cracking a little. "Can I have some water Janet?" 

Janet retrieved a glass of water for Sam and after placing it in her hands spoke. "The girls weren't there and are either home now or in my quarters. I'm not sure, haven't asked the Colonel yet. And I'm fine. Had a few years taken off my life line for such a scare but I'm good." Janet paused running her fingers through Sam's hair. "I'm more worried about you." 

Sipping the water Sam sat it back and then the flash came again and she gasped, almost dropping the water, "OH MY GOD! Janet" she said turning to face her, "I've...I've got to leave, get the General to call a briefing. I've got to talk to all of you, right now." 

"Calm down Sam," Janet said grabbing the glass and putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Go where?" 

"To the briefing room, unhook me from all this" she said indicating all the wires running to her body. 

Janet had now set the glass down and placed both hands to stop Sam from unhooking the monitors. "Sam, stop please," Janet, said swiftly. "The guys and the General are in my office I will have them come here. Just calm yourself." Janet called for a nurse and sent for the guys. 

Seconds later they were all gathered, "Hey Carter, you gotta stop scaring me like this. I'm getting gray hairs," Colonel O'Neil stated. 

"That's more grays here Sir and I'm working on it" Carter said and looked to where she thought Janet was, "I need to stand up Janet, not leave the room just stand up ok?" 

"All right," Janet said helping to get Sam standing. "Do you want me to stay or leave?" 

"Stay" Sam said holding her hand and turned to Daniel. "Daniel on the ruins where this happened to me didn't you say the writing said something about trust shall overcome or something like that?" 

"Yeah," Daniel said. "The inscriptions said that trust would prevail." He pushed his glasses up and spoke again. "But it's very vague, there's no way to know what is suppose to be trusted and by whom." 

"Yes there is" she answered just as quickly and tapped her head. "It's all there, it's why I cried out in pain earlier. All the answers, all the information was there and I wasn't ready for it. Let me give you a crude example" she said and held onto the bed and walked over to O'Neil but stepped off to the side of him, "Fall back Sir." 

The man raised his older eyebrows, "Carter are you..." 

"Never mind" she said and slowly moved back over toward Janet and stood in front of her. "From experience I can tell that when you've lost one of your most basic senses, namely sight, there is nothing about trust that is easy. When I got the flashes Janet had kissed me, I trusted her at first though it was very short and then flashes started and they overwhelmed me." 

"So what are you trying to say Sam?" Janet asked. "That the flashes and pain are cause because you trusted me." Janet was trying to keep the hurt out of her voice but it would be long before she failed at that. 

"Partially but not because how you're thinking Janet, they hold the answers" she insisted and looked at O'Neil, "Sir we have to go back to that planet." 

"Carter we didn't find anything when we went back the day after this happened" the Colonel argued. "And I can't leave the base, I'm due at that Presidential thing later today." 

"Sir there is nothing to find, the altar says that trust will prevail. I have to show the whoever built this thing that I've learned the trust, even despite being blind and it won't be easy but let me show you something" she said and then fell backwards toward Janet. 

"SAM" Daniel said rushing forward but Janet had already reacted and stopped her. 

"SEE" she said happily. "It took Janet, what she did earlier to show me Sir. I've been pushing her away when she's the only one that could show me what I needed. We have to go back." 

Janet still had hold of Sam afraid she was going to fall or something. "It's your call Sir. As long as she is escorted I will medically OK the jump," Janet said her voice a little sad. 

"Carter you can't even see to walk, how are you going to make it the five klicks to the ruins" the General asked. 

"I will carry her O'Neil" Teal'c claimed. 

Normally Sam would have argued but she also knew he was right, she could barely make it around the mountain let alone on an alien planet, "If it will make you all happy I'll ride piggy back, I don't care" she said reaching behind her and pulled Janet closer to her back. 

"Ok Carter, if the Doc you to jump then you go in two hours. Guys let's go" he said and nodded to Sam though they didn't see it. "Doc call me if there is a change." 

"See you in two hours Sam" Daniel said with a smile. 

"Understood Sir," Janet said still standing behind Sam and not moving. When the guys left she spoke again. "I guess I should give you a pre jump exam then." She began to pull away from Sam. 

"Wait" she said and turned around holding Janet's hands in hers tightly. "Can we talk a few minutes first? I'll even get back in bed if you want me to while we talk." 

"Fine, but there is nothing to talk about," Janet said as she held the blankets back for Sam to crawl under. 

Using Janet's arm as a guide Sam got in but made sure to have room for Janet to sit beside her and she found her hands and held them staring at her, "I was an idiot Janet...I hurt you and the girls by being so caught up in myself I didn't realize the only thing that mattered. I love you, sight or not. You're my heart, soul and reason for living and I'm sorry I was such a complete, stupid, asshole. Do you think you can ever forgive me? I need you, I want you in my life because without you I'm just a shell." 

Janet turned so her back was towards Sam. "The girls are fine other than the fact that your blind they really are not sure what other problems exist. But they do have their suspicions. And like I said you always have a home with us." 

Reaching out Sam managed to lay a hand on Janet's shoulder, "I know that...I think I've always known that and once we go home" she said her voice high with emotion that this time she had fucked up so much she had lost the most important thing in her life. "I'll talk to the girls but please Janet, do you forgive me? Do you..." the tears came then, "Do you still love me?" 

"I'll always love you Sam nothing can change that not even death," Janet said softly her own tears falling. 

If she hadn't been blind it was likely the woman wouldn't have heard the change in breathing but she did so she reacted and sat forward, literally pulling Janet toward her and wrapped her arms around her crying, "I love you Janet...I was such...an idiot. I need you...I want you" she repeated over and over again and started to rock her gently and hummed to her. 

Janet curled up into Sam's body resting her head on a shoulder, her fists clenching the hospital scrubs Sam wore as she cried unable to speak. 

A while later they had about a half an hour before the jump and Sam was laid back on the bed with Janet standing between her upraised knees, "You know when we get back" she said lifting her sightless head and smiled, "You're going to have to explain why this was necessary in a pre mission jump Janet. I mean really now" she joked. 

Janet's hands kept rubbing Sam's stomach. "You...you should probably get ready," Janet said stilling her hands and moving them to her side. 

"Ok" she said waiting until the woman had covered her up and helped her sit up. "But this is to be continued later my love and you're going to have to help me into my clothes here Janet, we're on a timetable. You also have to get ready" she said with a smile but then held open her arms. "Always time for a kiss though right?" 

Janet placed Sam's clothes on the bed beside her and leaned in giving her a quick but gentle kiss. She wasn't going to get her hopes up about anything, there wasn't too much more she could handle before completely falling apart. 

"Janet" Sam began having thought about it over everything as the doctor started to help her dress, "Can I ask you something, seriously and you'll be honest with me?" 

"Yes." 

Pulling her t-shirt down and standing up so she could pull the pants that Janet had slid her legs into up the woman followed her nose toward Janet and smiled, "Could you see spending the rest of your life with me? I mean really spend it with me if I don't ever get my sight back" she asked. 

"Yes," Janet said truthfully. "It won't be easy and it will hurt when you keep referring to yourself as a cripple and don't really want to live but yes." 

Instinct allowed Sam to reach out and cupped Janet's face with both her hands and stared at her, to some it would be frightening to know their lover was looking at them though not seeing them, "I'm not a cripple Janet, I maybe crippled but with your help I'll get over that one way or another. As for not living I can't tell you how but at the right time I'll say something that will make you believe I want to live because as long as I have you and the girls it's all that matters" she promised. 

With Sam's hands still cupping her face Janet tilted her head forward and closed her eyes letting tears fall. This was a step the first step in the right direction. 

Holding Janet tightly she rubbed her back and whispered, "I love you and...." she pulled Janet away a little and lifted her chin with a smile, "I want a candy bar before we go. Think you can find me one?" 

"I have some in my office," Janet said her voice still thick with emotion. "I can bring it back to you or you can come and get it?" 

"Right after you help me with my boots that is" she commented and smiled. "I love you Janet." 

"I love you too Sam," Janet said kneeling as Sam sat back on the bed. Janet got one boot on then tied it and moved to the other. "OK ready?" 

"Always ready for candy though my doctor complains regularly about my eating it too much on missions" she joked good-naturedly. It was like Sam was a whole new person, the revelation she had apparently had answered a lot. 

Janet held Sam's hand tightly as she lead her to her office and sat her on the couch. "Here you go," Janet said offering the candy bar. 

"Wonderful" she said happily and literally ripped the paper off and stuffed half of it in her mouth with a grin and chewed, "Mmmm....wonderful" she mumbled out over the chocolate. 

Janet was still standing by Sam. She kissed the top of the blond head before running her fingers through the short strands. 

Gate/Control Room

A little while later Sam had her hand on Janet's shoulder as they came into the gate room. She could feel everyone watching her but she really didn't care, whatever she was planning would work and she'd get her sight back...she knew that and then she had plans. 

"Hey Sam" Daniel said coming up to them. 

"Hi Daniel, Teal'c I'm assuming you're in here somewhere right" she said as the gate dialed. 

"I am" he answered her from the other side. 

Janet still couldn't figure out how someone as big as Teal'c could move so quietly. "Ok Teal'c I leave Lt. Colonel Carter in your capable hands," Janet said as she began to move away from Sam. "I'll see you when you get back." 

"WHAT" Sam said realizing she hadn't explained that part, "NO, Janet you have to come. It's important, I can't do this without you." 

"You didn't say that Sam; she'd need..." Daniel began. 

"Then cancel the dialing sequence and let her get ready guys, but she has to be there" Carter insisted. 

"Sam," Janet said softly placing a hand on Sam's cheek. "Warner won't clear me for jump. You have to go without me." 

"Then we get the General to ignore him," she said and turned toward where she hoped the control room was, "GENERAL CANCEL THE DIALING SEQUENCE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU" she hollered up. 

O'Neil's voice filled the room, "Is there a problem Carter?" 

"YES SIR" she hollered back, "DOCTOR FRAISER HAS TO GO, FOR MY HEALTH AND FOR ANY CHANCE OF THIS TO WORK" she hollered back. 

"Carter I can't allow that," O'Neill voiced. "One of the other Doctors can go but Fraiser didn't pass her pre jump." 

"Sir then this is pointless," she said not caring that she was arguing with her CO in front of others. "I don't care if she passed or not" she said ignoring Janet's attempts to calm her. "The whole point of this is trust, I don't trust the other doctors like I do Janet. If they go and she doesn't this won't work and I'll stay blind. If you say no then you've as good as killed me and the chance to get my sight back General." 

"Damn it," O'Neill grumbled where only the control room heard. "Carter you trust the rest of SG1, use one of them for the test or whatever you have to do." 

Sighing Sam heard Janet trying to talk to her but she spoke to the darkness, "Sir I trust them yes but not like I do Janet, you know that General." 

"Sam," Janet said softly turning her head to face her. "It will be ok. I don't mind waiting even though I want to be there. I guess it's my fault really, should have taken better care of myself while looking after you." 

"SIR" Sam hollered waiting for his decision. 

O'Neill never voiced one over the speaker. Instead her walked into the gate room and stood before Carter. "You want me to disobey regulations that could send a member of this command into a situation that will be unhealthy for them." 

Janet rubbed Sam's arm trying to calm her. 

"YES Sir, there are no hostiles on that planet and the only one that got hurt last time was me Sir. If I thought for a minute she'd be in danger do you really think I'd even want her anywhere near there General" she demanded staring at him once she focused on his voice. 

"Sir," Janet finally spoke up. "I'm willing to take the risk." Was all she said as she stood by Sam? 

"Well I'm not" O'Neil snapped. "You're the CMO of this command Doc and I can't risk you when the hundreds of lives here could depend on you at anytime. I'm sorry Carter but..." 

"Sir" Sam interrupted stiffly, "Is that your final decision?" 

"Yes it is," O'Neil said sadly. "I'm sorry Carter." 

Janet was getting furious but biting her tongue off at the moment. 

She nodded her blond head a moment and then without hesitation reached up and unclasped her rank insignia and dropped them in the floor, "Then you aren't the man I thought I knew General, with no respect. I'm resigning and this time you can't stop me, I've been cleared for light duties for the jump which I'm not taking" she said and turned toward Janet. "Take me home Janet." 

"Sam" Daniel said trying. 

"NO Daniel, he made his choice," she said coldly. "I've got all I need in my family, the SGC can go to hell. Take me home" she said again. 

Janet stilled Sam's movements. "Daniel's right Sam," Janet said. 

"NO" Carter insisted speaking to Janet now, not aware that the General had picked up her rank insignia and waited after having ordered the gate room and the control room cleared so she wouldn't make an ass of herself. "For years I've given the SGC all I have Janet and I've asked for little. I needed you with me on this, I tried to explain that and the General isn't willing to make that concession so I'm done. Either you can take me home or I'll find my own way home." 

"Colonel Carter" Teal'c tried then stepping forward. 

"Teal'c you better than anyone know loyalty" she said. 

Janet placed a finger over Sam's lips. "You didn't let me finish," Janet whispered softly. "You need the SGC as much as it needs you. Yes you need your family more and you have us." Janet took a deep breath and turned to face the General. "I am resigning from my position as CMO and my rank of Lt. Colonel in the United States Air Force. I can remain here as a civilian doctor but that is your choice. Now you can't stop me from willingly volunteering to go through the gate. I am free to take that risk on my own with no consequences to the rest of the base. And if something should go wrong I will be left behind. The rest of the team will NOT risk their lives for me." Janet gave him the stare that would take only the answer she wanted. There was no other choice in the matter. "Now start the dialing sequence." 

"BELAY THAT" O'Neil hollered and rubbed his face, "For cryin' out loud, no wonder Hammond resigned you two drove him nuts" he said and reached out grabbing Carter's hand and put rank pins in it, "Take those back, Doc get what you need but you aren't resigning but if you get hurt I'm going to kick your ass until hell won't have it" he stated angrily. 

Sighing Sam nodded slowly, "Thank you Jack" she said softly. 

"Yeah, yeah just get better Carter because you and I are going to have a LONG talk when you get back and once you have your sight back you're running this loony bin for a week while I go fishing" he said and turned shaking his head. "Women" he commented. 

Carter smiled as she pinned the rank insignia on, "Get whatever you need Janet, you have about ten minutes." 

"I'll be right back," Janet promised as she took of at a run for her office. There she changed into her BDU's and boots. Next thing anyone new she was reentering the gate room "Told ya I'd be back." She now stood next to Sam. 

"So you did" she said happily and nodded as the gate started dialing. "Saddle up Teal'c" Sam said. 

"Saddle up" he asked curiously. "I am not familiar with this term Lt. Colonel Carter." 

Janet laughed. "Teal'c she is trying to say she is ready and you can carry her." Janet left the grin on her face as they made their way up the ramp and through the event horizon. 

Off World

Shifting a little in the massive Jaffa's arms Sam took a moment to sniff and identify their surroundings, "Let's set out for the temple. Daniel take point, Teal'c and I in the middle and Janet you bring up the rear. There are no natives but keep your side arms out just incase. Teal'c if you have to set me down, as long as I'm holding someone I can walk." 

"Understood Colonel Carter," Teal'c spoke as they marched on without incident. 

"We are almost to the temple," Daniel announced. 

At the temple Sam told the Jaffa to put her down and told Daniel to describe the surroundings. Nodding at his words, he was always so excited about ruins the woman spoke, "Ok I'm kind of learning as I go here. Janet the flashes or information or whatever they are only happen when you're holding me so..." she smiled. "A terrible job I know but you gotta do it" she joked. 

"I'll try to perform with an audience," Janet joked and moved to stand in front of Sam. "How do you want to do this?" 

"Doesn't matter, I just need the contact with someone I trust I think. No matter what happens though" Sam said with a nod, "Do not let go until I tell you to all right?" 

"All right," Janet said as she stepped closer to Sam pressing their bodies together. One hand snaked its way under Sam's shirt and was resting on her lower back palm spread open the other was resting on a shoulder just above the breast. 

Sliding her eyes closed on instinct Sam's vision started, she saw the woman before her and he pain. She tried to step back but heard Janet telling her to take it easy, to relax. It wasn't that easy but she tried because she had told her to and tried to focus on the words, images filling her mind. 

Janet pulled Sam's head down a little closer to hers before returning her hand to rest on the shoulder. "Listen to my voice Sam. Let it guide you and calm you," Janet said softly. She then dropped her voice to a whisper so only Sam could hear and repeater her endearments of love then began to sing. 

After several minutes Sam told her to let her go and stepped back nodding, "Thank you Janet" she said and spoke since she didn't know where he was, "Daniel are you here somewhere or did you start exploring? And don't touch anything" she said echoing their former CO's comments. 

"I'm still here," He answered as Janet took a few hesitant steps away from Sam not wanting to let her go. 

"Ok, look toward the top right upper of the front stone column" she ordered turning but allowed Janet to keep hold of her hands. "There should be three circles and a square on the front most section; it stands out a little away from the others" she said and felt Teal'c come up beside her and told her the area was secured. "Thank you Teal'c, keep your eyes open. Janet draw your sidearm," she ordered. "Do you see it Daniel?" 

"Sam why?" Janet asked 

"Yes I do," Daniel said looking over his shoulder at Sam. 

"One second Janet" the woman said and concentrates on Daniel first because Fraiser was going to fight her on what she had to do. "Daniel at the right time you need to depress the square, then the first circle, then the third and finally the second in that order. It will activate the...alien whatever this is" she said and then turned to face Janet. "Draw your weapon" she said again and moved a few feet away and stiffened after unzipped he tactical vest and dropped it. "Janet, do it, please." 

"Sam I don't understand why?" Janet persisted. 

"Janet" the woman said sighing as she unzipped her SGC jacket then and took it off. "If you really love me trust me when I ask you to do this. You have to shoot me, not fatal and as a doctor you should understand where that is, but you have to be the one to do it." 

"Sam are you sure" Daniel insisted clearly not believing this. 

"Yes Daniel I am, Janet" she said again. 

"Sam I can't. I can't hurt you," Janet said her voice wavering. 

"You won't," she promised gently. "Janet I need you trust me here, you won't hurt me but I have to prove I trust you if we have any hope of getting my sight back. After you do it come over and hold me, no matter what and then Daniel you depress those symbols and we wait" she ordered with a firm nod. "I trust you Janet, do it." 

Janet un-holstered her side arm and held it out in front of her. "Whenever you are ready Sam," she said her voice still quivering. 

Taking a deep breath she dropped the jacket she held on the ground and stared straight ahead, her mind filling with Janet's face and she nodded, "Ready" was all she said. 

Janet's hands were shaking so bad that when she took aim and fired the shot missed Sam. "Sam, I can't." 

Licking her lips a moment the woman sighed and then had a thought, "Janet I need you to trust me, love me that's all you have to do. I trust you and when we get back I have a surprise for you, but I need you to do this now. One shot, it's all easy after that" she said flashing a smile. "Please" she pleaded. 

Janet closed her eyes centering herself, calming herself enough to take that one shot, the one shot that Sam needed. She opened her eyes again and took aim. "God help me," she whispered as she pulled the trigger. 

This time the bullet hit it's mark and Sam cried out and fell backwards, blood radiating from her shoulder as she brought her other hand up to cover it on instinct. She heard feet and the gun drop, "Janet" she said grinding her teeth together through the pain. 

Janet had moved the minuet she heard Sam cry out but now she knelt next to her lover's prone form frozen in place. 

The tears streaking down her face Sam used her feet to scoot tiredly closer to Janet as Teal'c and Daniel asked if she ok, "Hold...me," she panted out. 

Janet placed her hands on Sam and helped her into a sitting position a little closer to her. She never removed her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered afraid to do anything else. 

"Don't be" she ordered and raised her voice a little, "NOW Daniel." 

"I'm sorry," Janet kept repeated over and over her voice getting softer as she rested her forehead against Sam and cried. 

Daniel immediately began pushing the symbols on Sam's command first the square followed by the first circle the third and then ending with the second. 

Sam's last words were don't let go and then a white light shot out encompassing both of them. It was so bright that Teal'c and Daniel couldn't look at it but inside Sam felt peace in Janet's arms and then they saw her, floating above them, "I am Krena" she said with a nod. "You have proven great trust and love through great sacrifice." 

"Why did you do this?" Janet asked. 

"To see if you were worthy Doctor Fraiser," the creature stated matter of factly. "Only those willing to give all to those they trust are worthy of contact with the Nygoth people. Too often we've seen unworthy races gain access to us and our technology used to battle those you call the Goa'uld and this test was designed to test those who wished to enter through their hearts." 

Sam meanwhile had dropped her hand from the wound, it had all but disappeared through no one could tell that now, "You could have just asked us" she said lying in Janet's arms. 

"We did, through you Lt. Colonel Carter and you lost your sight which was the way our technology deemed you worthy to test your trust for your people" she explained. 

"That's not the way to test someone. What if she couldn't have accepted that trust what then?" Janet asked angrily still holding on to Sam. 

"Then we would have known" Krena said with a nod above them. "We shall talk again soon Doctor, Colonel but for now..." she flapped her arms and the light died. 

Daniel and Teal'c ran over, "Janet, Sam" they demanded. 

Sam Carter lay passed out in Janet's arms. 

And Janet sat slumped against Sam. Neither one was moving. 

It was later that night, several hours when Daniel had decided to make camp when he found both women unhurt but Janet regained consciousness first and Jackson moved over from his spot near Sam and let Teal'c replace him as he took Janet's hand, "Janet it's Daniel." 

"Daniel" she repeated as she tried to remember the resent events. "SAM!" she yelled in a panic and sat bolt upright her eyes wide open. 

He put a hand on her shoulder quickly, "Relax, she's fine. Tealc is with her; there is no sign of the bullet wound at all Janet. You were both unconscious after that light released you" he said and pulled off his canteen offering it to her. "How do you feel?" 

She took the offered canteen and had a few big gulps of water before handing it back. "A little confused. I don't remember passing out or why but nothing seems to hurt," Janet said taking a cursory once over of herself before moving a little. 

"You want to see Sam right" he said taking the canteen back and put it back after a drink himself. "We have your medical kit already over there." 

Janet began to try to stand only to find herself a little shaky on her feet. "Where is Sam?" 

Wrapping an arm around her waist Daniel helped her up and kept an arm around her, "This way" he said moving them together. 

Sam Carter was to all intents and purposes sleeping in a sleeping bag. Teal'c was sitting beside her and when he heard feet glanced over and bowed, "It is agreeable to see you well again Doctor Fraiser." 

Jackson walked Janet over and sat her carefully by Sam and then pulled her medical backpack over, "Just tell me what you need and I'll get it Janet" he said watching her examining Sam quickly. 

"Just hand me my stethoscope," Janet asked, as she took Sam's pulse and found it normal. She listened to her heart for a while then her breathing. "Everything seems to be normal," Janet informed. "Can you leave us alone for a while?" 

"Sure" Daniel said and started to leave and then stop. "Janet what about her eyes? Can you tell anything here?" 

"Not yet, no," Janet said. "When she wakes up we will find out. Everything still looks normal." 

He nodded, "Teal'c and I will be right over there. Once she is up we should go back to the Stargate" he told her. 

"All right," Janet said and watch them walk away. "Sam can you hear me?" She asked stroking her cheek. 

It was several minutes but then a soft, "Yes. Thirsty Janet." 

Janet grabbed the canteen that was lying near by and removed the cap. She lifted Sam's head so she could drink easier. "Take small sips." 

After several sips Carter nodded lightly and laid her head back, "Janet where is Krena?" 

"She disappeared along with the light I think," Janet said. "I'm not sure really I just woke up a few minutes ago myself." 

Sam still had her eyes closed when she heard Daniel's voice, "JANET, SAM! We have company," he said racing over. Teal'c had his staff weapon raised. 

"We mean no harm" came Krena's voice as she stepped forward. Tons of people and homes came into view around the altar. 

Carter immediately opened her eyes and she was on her feet a hand on Janet while at the same time she drew the only sidearm she had, she had no idea where her P90 was, "Who are you" she demanded not realizing she could see. 

"You know the answer, we kept you from seeing us until we knew you could be trusted" she explained offering a nod. "You've proven your trust and in honor of that you've been restored as you were before." 

Janet realized Sam was capable of seeing again and tried to turn the head to her but Sam protested. Using a little more force she had blue eyes peering down at her. "Sam you can see?" 

"Guys stand down" Carter ordered lowering her weapon and Sam then focused on Janet. "Apparently yes, I can see you so unless you're a dream Janet," she said. 

Daniel and Teal'c didn't know what was going on but Jackson spoke while Sam was busy, "So you blinded Sam on purpose to test if she would trust enough and thereby you could judge us," he asked. 

"That is correct" Krena said with a nod, "And she and Doctor Fraiser have proven your worth. Go back and tell your leaders we wish to discuss alliances with you in our battle against the Goa'uld, return in three days and we will speak again" she said and waved her arms and all the people and the buildings again disappeared leaving only SG1. 

"Where did they go?" Daniel demanded. 

"They seem to possess the talents of the Nox" Teal'c told his comrades. "Should we not return to the gate Lt. Colonel Carter?" 

"We will Teal'c, as soon as Janet gives me a once over" she said taking a seat so that her lover could do that. "Thank you for what you did Janet." 

Janet's only answer for Sam was a deep kiss that left the blond gasping for breath when Janet finally pulled away. She went into Doctor mode and began to check Sam over making sure everything was the way it should be. She was still amazed though that Sam had her sight back and that the bullet wound didn't exist. 

"You know guys" she began as Janet proceeded to get her blood pressure, "I have a feeling when we get back Janet is going to run me through every test in the medical books and...." 

"That is not a feeling Lt. Colonel Carter" the Jaffa stated matter of factly, "That is a fact." 

"Yeah Sam, better you than us. Welcome back by the way" Daniel said. 

"Thanks Dani..." she didn't get any farther before she had a thermometer in her mouth and she looked at her lover raising her eyebrows but with a smile. 

"OK. I'm finished here," Janet said removing the thermometer and taking a look before packing it up. "Your tests await." 

"Wonderful" she commented but stood up, "Ok get packed up everyone. We move out in ten minutes. Janet do you want to come with me while I find somewhere to use the facilities" she asked. 

"I could accompany you" Teal'c stated. 

A smile came to Sam's face, "Thanks Teal'c but Janet and I will be fine. Just get ready to head back, I'm sure the General is going to have a ton of questions." 

Janet let Sam lead her away from the temple. "What is it Sam?" 

"Just this" she said and turned Janet around and pressed her lips to hers as she held her in her arms, dipping her as she kissed her before breaking it and panting. "Wow, I even impressed myself. Can't wait to get home Janet." 

Janet had this spaced look on her face her eyes glazed over and she kept her hands wrapped around Sam's neck. 

Grinning Sam slid her hand down into Janet's, "Come on, let's get back unless you really did need the facilities Janet?" 

"No. All I need is you," Janet gave Sam's hand a squeeze. 

Infirmary

The team had no sooner stepped through the gate than O'Neil wanted answers and it wasn't until two hours after return that everyone had passed their post mission with the General sending diplomatic teams back to the planet. Sam was just getting ready to leave when she heard Janet telling her to go behind the screen and change and she cringed, "I'm not going to like this am I" she asked but went behind the curtain anyway. 

Janet followed Sam behind the curtain and immediately wrapped her arms around her kissing her with force. 

"Mmmm...." she mumbled rubbing her back gently until the kiss broke. "To be continued at home I hope Janet...I've missed you so much" she said holding her lover. "I almost lost you and all because I drove you away. How stupid is that?" 

Janet tugged Sam's head back down and silenced her with another kiss that lasted as long as the first. 

Again Sam rubbed her back a little more firm, "I think I'm going to like my physical" she said in a sultry voice and reached up taking Janet's hands in hers and then held open her t-shirt for Janet to slide her hands inside and unhook her bra. 

With the bra unhooked Janet was able to slide her hands under the garment to cup Sam's breasts and rub her thumb across the nipples. 

"Yep I'm liking my physical" Sam countered as she again captured her lover in a kiss. 

After the passionate check up Sam was seated on the gurney watching Janet label her blood sample, "Yes I promise not to scare you in the future, yes I promise to always listen to you, yes I promise to go see Doctor Griggs at the Academy Hospital, yes I promise to talk to Mackenzie and not throw him through a wall. Did I miss anything and can I ask a question?" 

"Yes you can ask a question and the only this you missed was yes I am going to make passionate love to you tonight," Janet said professionally. 

"Damn and that was the one I was looking forward to" she joked with a smile. "You want to tell me why you had to check my ass and my vagina when I was only blind or is that just covered in the Janet's guide to not pissing off your medical practitioner" she asked with a wink. 

"You spend way too much time around the guys and it's the later reason," Janet grabbed the chart and blood ready to head out and let Sam dress. "Get dressed so you can go home." 

"You aren't keeping me" she said smiling happily, "It's my lucky day and...." she stopped. "UH oh...you're going to make me go home and do things like rest, not work and eat right aren't you" she joked with a grin. 

"Yes I am. Do you have a problem with it?" Janet asked crossing her arms over her chest. 

"If I say yes can I still go home or are you going to make me stay here" she asked but both knew the answer. 

"Do you really expect me to answer that?" Janet threw back not really wanting to play this game. 

"I'm just playing Janet, geez" she said and turned away to get dressed sensing her lover was angry at her. She couldn't blame her but geez she didn't torture her on purpose, she loved her for God's sakes. 

"When you're finished I'll be in my office. Come get me," Janet said softly afraid she went a little too far. She headed into her office and began to finish on a few reports while she waited. 

Minutes later Sam tied her last boot, she was a little sore and had a headache but she'd take some Tylenol when she got home. Nodding to the staff she passed she went to Janet's office and knocked, "Ready when you are, I just need my laptop from my office." 

"You don't have to stay at home if you don't want to. You can stay at the base," Janet said. "I'm not forcing you to go anywhere. The choice is yours." 

"Is that your way of saying I'm not wanted at the house" she asked and came in and sat down. "I know you're angry at me Janet...hell you have a right to be but please don't shove me away." 

"I'm not angry at you Sam, hurt yes but not angry. I just don't want to force you to do something against your will. I did that once already," Janet'/s voice trailed off as she continued. "I didn't like who I was for doing that." 

"Don't" Sam snapped and stood up going to close the door. "Janet don't you dare blame yourself for kissing me in that bedroom...God damn it" she said pacing and getting a little upset. "I love you...I wanted to get down on my knees a million times and propose to you and if Kira was of age I would, but I can't risk that we loose her because of what we are. But don't you dare blame yourself for loving me" she said turning to look at her. "It wasn't you I scooted away from, hell if it hadn't been for the pain in my head I would have grabbed you and had my way with you then sight or not but the pain I scooted away from Janet; not you. If you hadn't done what you did I could still be blind and treating myself like I was dead." 

As Sam continued to talk Janet began to cry. What did her in was the fact that Sam wanted to marry her but couldn't. "Not me," she choked out between sobs. 

Softening her tone slightly Sam came over and turned Janet's chair to face her and knelt down, "Janet at a time I will propose, I will be able to take you as my wife and tell the world how much I love you but what isn't you?" 

"Not...me....that....hurt...you?" She asked her question being broken from the sobs. 

"GOD no" Carter said and put her hands on her knees, "You're what saved me baby...you alone did that" she said and then leaned up putting her hands behind Janet's head and lifted it to look at her, "Tell me if I'd do this if you hurt me" she said and pressed her lips hard into Janet's, both of them going back on the chair as she stroked Janet's tongue with hers. Rubbing her throat with her wandering tongue while she rubbed her neck. 

After breaking the kiss Janet wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and buried her face in Sam's shoulder letting the last of her tears fall away. "You are going to stay with me and not leave?" Janet wanted to be sure needed to know was her muffled question. 

Holding Janet tightly Sam rubbed her back, "I am never going anywhere baby...unless it's with you. You are my heart and soul Janet Fraiser and one day" Sam said kissing her cheek, "You will be my wife and we're going to be together forever." 

Janet nodded as Sam held her and when the tears finally stopped. "I'm sorry," was softly spoken. 

"Don't ever be sorry to me" she insisted gently. "Now how about you take me home? I've been sick and I need to be babied by my lover." 

Janet nodded. "Don't want to let you go," she said not loosening her hold. 

"Ok, let me get my mind around that problem" Sam said good naturedly gently. "I could fit you in my uniform" she joked knowing that would put a smile on Janet's face. "Want to give me another physical?" 

Janet laughed. "I will only fit if you use one of Teal'c's," Janet shot back and started to rise. "What to you want to get for dinner or are you hungry?" 

"You mean you aren't going to cook and feed me" she joked and put a hand over her heart. "What did you tell the girls about my sight or have you told them anything yet?" 

"I haven't said anything except we were coming home," Janet said looking at Sam. "Though I think since it sounded like I had been crying they are not hopeful that you got your sight back. They probably think something is wrong." Janet pulled away from Sam and after grabbing her purse headed for the door. 

"Are you going to let me drive," she asked following. "I'll cook when we get home then," Sam said as Abby came up and handed Janet a print out. 

"The lab work on SG6 ma'am, can we let them out of isolation or not? Warner is still in surgery," she explained. "Hello Colonel Carter." 

"Hi Abby, Janet I can wait if you need to handle this" Sam told her lover and doctor. "Or go pester the General." 

"Do you feel up to driving because I can," Janet said. "And you don't have to cook. We can stop and get something." Looking over the report. "Abby keep them till morning for observation. If they show no symptoms then release then." 

"Yes ma'am but you know Major Pierce is not going to like that," Abby said with a smile. 

Sam smiled and went and hopped up on a gurney, kicking her feet while she waited with a smile. She enjoyed watching Janet in her element when she wasn't the patient. 

"Tell him he can complain to me later. I'm going home," Janet said. "See you in a few days Abby." She moved to where Sam was sitting. "So what's it going to be?" 

"I'll drive and I want to cook," she offered standing up and slid an arm around Janet's waist. "Night Abby" she called walking with Janet toward the doors. 

"Night Doctor, Colonel" the nurse called over. 

"So we're off duty for days" she asked her lover as they walked. 

"You're off duty longer than I am," Janet said. "So you get to keep the girls entertained or them you. And you shouldn't have to cook after all you have been through. I will do it." 

Corridor/Elevator

They entered the elevator heading topside. 

"Two questions" Sam said keeping hold of Janet, "One, why are you doing it? You've been through a lot too and I want to cook Janet, really. And why am I off duty at all?" 

"Because you have been under a lot of stress with this whole ordeal and need a little rest and relaxation," Janet said. "And if you want to cook then cook. I just thought you would be to tired to that's all." 

"Admit it Janet," the woman whispered as the elevator opened and Sam reached into her pocket for her ID as they came up to the security gate. Once they were processed through she took the keys the woman held out to her, "As I was saying admit it, you just want to baby me don't you?" 

"Actually I was thinking more along the lines that the girls baby us," Janet said with a smile. "But if you want me to do the babying I think that can be arranged." 

They both climbed into the car as Sam started the engine. 

Enroute To Fraiser Residence

"Ok, we'll stop for dinner but then I have a surprise planned" she stated as they drove. "So why don't you call the girls and ask them what they want? Tell them I'm fine Janet," she said backing the car up. "I really have to change the plugs on this thing; they're due." 

"You just want to tinker with my car," Janet said as she called the house. She watched Sam drive as she waited for someone to pick up. 

"Hello" came Kira's tired voice and a cough. 

"Hello honey. Are you getting sick?" Janet asked forgetting about everything else. 

"Hi mom" the girl said and coughed again, "No, I'm already sick thanks. Cass is too; though she's trying not to be. The nurse sent us home today and left a message at your office but they said..." she coughed again, "You were busy." 

"Do I ever get to relax?" Janet mumbled to no one in particular. "Well I guess that means we are bringing soup home for dinner and medicine." 

"What is it" Sam asked concerned as she slowed and then pulled over turning to her lover concerned. "Are the girls ok? Are you all right?" 

"Does soup help spots," the girl asked coughing again. 

"Spots Kira? I don't understand," Janet said. She placed a hand over the phone to speak with Sam. "I'm fine but the girls are both sick. It looks like Doctor Mom is once again on the job." 

"And nurse Sam to help" the woman said with a nod. 

"Yeah mom, red spots at least for me," the child said coughing. "Don't know what Cass has, but the nurse sent notes home I think" she said coughing again. 

"I want you both in bed now," Janet ordered. "I will be home shortly to take care of you and see what is wrong." 

"But mom we were going to go swimming and...." the child began. 

Sam winked at her lover, she'd ask what was wrong once she was off the phone and turned back around to finish driving. 

"No you are not going swimming," Janet said in her best mothers voice. "You both are to put your pajamas on and get in bed. I want you covered up and to stay warm. Do you understand me young lady?" 

"Yes ma'am" Kira stated and then Cassie's voice was heard. 

"Mom I'm not sick, the nurse just sent me home because my records said I never had chicken pox and it's going around school" she explained. 

"YOU ARE TOO SICK" Kira hollered. 

"Am not, now go do what mom said Kira." 

"But I wanna swim" the girl protested in her best fifteen year old rebellion voice. "Tell mom I'm going for a swim first." 

"Mom she said that..." 

"Neither of you are going for a swim," Janet said. "I am on my way home right now and if you or Kira are in the pool there are going to be beatings. Is that clear?" 

"Hey mom don't yell at me ok" the girl said defiantly, "I'm heading off to college soon and am doing homework actually so I'm doing what I'm supposed to. I'll tell Kira. Bye" and she hung up the phone. 

"What's wrong with them Janet" Sam asked seeing the look on her lovers face. "And tell me where I'm going? Food, pharmacy, stores or am I going back out after we go home? I can do any of the above." 

"Please tell me that you have had the chicken pox?" Janet asked. 

"Twice yes if you count the time Jonas gave them to the base several years ago" she answered with a nod. "What about you and is that what the girls have?" 

"Cassie says she doesn't have it but Kira is sick. She is complaining about red spots," Janet said. "So I am guessing that she has them. So we will go home and I'll send you out for supplies." 

"You got it my love" Carter said smiling. "Hey I'm happy with chicken pox, it's not deadly just miserable. What about you, have you had them" she asked her lover. "And I can't believe Kira didn't have them before or wasn't vaccinated against them." 

"There isn't a vaccination against chicken pox. It's small pox that has the vaccination and sometimes you can be around people and not get them," Janet informed still not answering Sam's question. 

"Which" she began logically as she made the exit off the freeway, "Is your round about way of saying you've never had them right? So what are the odds that you won't get them from Kira?" 

"I don't know. I have been around many people and not got them. I may not get them this time or I may," Janet said. "There's no way of knowing for certain." 

"Ok well if you do then I'll take care of you" Sam promised stopping at the red light. "It's going to be ok Janet and after we see the girls gotten to I'm going to draw you a nice bubble bath, wash your hair and your body and then carry you to bed where I'll then make the most incredible love to you. After that I'll feed you a snack with my own two hands before..." she sped up as the light changed, "We fall asleep with you wrapped tenderly in my arms. That's the plan." 

Janet rested her head on her propped up arm. "It sound wonderful Sam but I don't think I have the energy for anything tonight," Janet said sadly. "I'm sorry baby." 

"Ok well I'll ravish in the morning then" she said not showing at all that the delay bothered her. "It will give me more time to plan how to pleasure you, but you are getting a bubble bath and then a massage before going to bed Janet after dinner is that understood" she ordered in a voice that brooked no argument. 

Janet squeezed Sam's arm before falling back into the seat already worrying about the girls. 

Fraiser Residence

They got home fairly quickly and the girls were scattered, Cassandra was upstairs apparently and Kira was sitting on the couch in her bathing suit pouting and scratching her arm. 

"Hi Kira" Sam said smiling. 

"Sam you can see" came Cassandra's voice from the stairs. 

"Yep your mom fixed me" she said tossing the keys on the counter and watched Janet move toward a daughter. 

"Mom I wanna swim" Kira protested as Cassandra came in holding the note from the nurse. 

"Thanks honey," Janet said kissing her forehead. She read the note and sure enough it was a case of the chicken pox. "Kira please don't scratch. I know it itches, but if you scratch you're going to get scars." Janet moved to Kira to take a look and see how bad a case she had. "You can go swimming tomorrow. Right now I want you to get changed and some sleep." Janet gave her a kiss on the forehead before moving to grab a pen and pad. 

"Fine" the girl said unhappily but moved toward the stairs scratching now again. 

"Kira" Sam called, "Don't make me tape oven mitts on your hands, don't scratch" she ordered as the girl moved upstairs. "Janet what about Cass? Does she have it?" 

"NO" Cassandra said quickly, "She doesn't, she has a date in an hour." 

"No Cassie is fine, but it would be nice for her to get it now rather than when she is an adult," Janet said. "Sam I want you to pick these things up for me please. There is money in my wallet you can use." Janet handed Sam the list. 

Soup Calimine Lotion- Lots Cotton Balls Beer 

Taking the list she nodded and smiled lightly, "I'll get it Janet. What do you want me to pick up for dinner?" 

"Mom I can go on my date right" Cassandra asked already heading away without waiting for the answer. 

"Yes," she called out to Cassie's retreating back. "I don't care Sam whatever is fine. But please hurry before I kill someone." 

Carter came up and gave Janet a kiss, "My feet have wings my love. Call if you need anything else, I've got my cell and I'll take my car since I haven't driven him in a while" she said with a wink. "OH what kind of soup do you want?" 

"Get her chicken noodle or something and pick up some broth to drink. Be careful," Janet said just before Sam closed the door. She headed up the stairs to see to Kira. 

The girl was in her red pajamas and was scratching her arms but wasn't under the covers and was frowning, "Stupid spots" she complained. "Why does Cassie get to go out? Why can't I go with her mom? I don't want to be sick. I can go to school tomorrow right?" 

"No you can't," Janet said sadly sitting on the bed next to her daughter. "You have the chicken pox and can give them to other people. You need to stay home till they're gone." Janet stilled her scratching hands and rubbed her arms instead. "Don't scratch just rub gently." 

"Great, stupid chicken pox" the girl said and started to rub her feet and legs together. "What am I supposed to do? You won't let me swim," she asked pouting. 

"It's too late to go swimming tonight," Janet said. "I told you that tomorrow was ok. Besides Sam is home now too." 

"So" the teen asked as if that made no difference in the world. 

"I guess you really don't want our help right now," Janet said standing and moving into the hall. "You better not scratch or I will have Sam tape oven mitts to your hands." Janet left and went into her room. Kicking off her shoes she fell back on the bed and sighed. She hoped that this wouldn't be the time her luck runs out and she gets them. 

Sam Carter came home almost an hour later with an arm full of bags and saw Janet in the kitchen. Setting them down she kissed her and then went to get the pizza box for dinner, "Thought the girls might like pizza, I got us something else but later. Go sit down Janet, I'll put this stuff away," she said taking off her coat and put her purse, phone and keys on the counter. 

"I called the base and told them we wouldn't be in for a week because Kira had the chicken pox, the General ok'd it since he don't want them" she said coming back to put stuff away. "How is she doing anyway?" 

A car hocked and Cassandra came breezing downstairs, "That's my date, bye mom, bye Sam" and she headed toward the door. 

"You better be home by 10:30," Janet yelled out before the door closed. "She is miserable. Can I have the lotion and cotton?" Janet asked. "I'll go put this on her." 

Digging in one of the bags Sam came up with the items, "I got four of each just incase; I can get more if we need it. You want to take her some pizza or I can do it if you want to put your feet up honey" she offered quickly with a smile. 

"I'll put the lotion on her but you can give her the food," Janet picked up a bag of cotton balls and the bottle of lotion and headed up the stairs. "Kira honey I have something to help with the itching," Janet said tiredly as she entered the girl's room. 

"Wonderful mom" the girl said from her spot by the bathroom door where she was rubbing up against it to try to itch her back. "I hate spots," she said still scratching. 

"I know honey," Janet said as she took a seat on the bed. "Come here." Janet put some lotion on the cotton the dabbed it on all the spots Kira had on her arms, legs, stomach and back. "In three hours we will put some more on you ok?" 

"Sure mom" the girl said and coughed as she rubbed her chest. "I'm going to go to bed ok?" 

"All right," Janet said pulling back the covers. "Do you want something to eat first?" 

"What is there?" she asked climbing in. 

"Pizza and a soda" came Sam's voice as she carried them in. "How you feeling kiddo" she asked coming up next to Janet. 

"Itchy" the girl said and smiled but held out her hands for the food. "Night mom, night Sam." 

"Night kiddo" Carter said kissing her nose with a grin since it was the only spot on her face that didn't have a pink spot of lotion. 

"Night honey," Janet said kissing the top of her head. "If you start to get itchy again come get us to put more lotion on you." Janet left and headed back down the stairs to the kitchen she went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. 

Sam came up behind her lover and put her hands on her shoulders, "Together forever" she said again and started to push her towards the living room. Once they got to the sofa she sat her down and took off her shoes and then put her feet up and covered her up while turning the TV on low and handed her the remote, "I'll be back to get you in a few minutes, I have some stuff to take care of upstairs. You relax" she ordered and leaned over kissing Janet. 

Janet kissed Sam and let her go but soon feel asleep where she sat on the couch, beer still in hand but two thirds empty. 

It took Sam almost two hours to get everything ready after finding Janet asleep and finally she was done. She had checked on Kira, put more lotion on her so they wouldn't be bothered, covered her back up and now was removing the beer and blanket from Janet's body before leaning down and picked her up after shutting off the TV. Once her weight was settled into her arms she made sure the door was locked and then headed toward the stairs slowly, hugging the woman tightly to her body in a protective embrace. 

Janet was sound asleep and wasn't even aware that Sam was moving her from the couch. She kept on dreaming enjoying the sweetness she was experiencing. 

Standing outside the partially cracked master bedroom door the woman leaned her head over and kissed Janet's lips lightly, "Janet, baby...wake up. Honey open those beautiful eyes," she said softly. 

"Mmmm," Janet said snuggling more into Sam as her arms wrapped around her neck. "Don't want to," She managed and fell back asleep. 

"Ok" Carter whispered, "But you don't get your surprise then" she said turning to carry her back downstairs and away from the surprise she had arranged. 

"Just want you," she mumbled against Sam's shoulder. 

"You have me" she promised in the hallway and kissed her lovers face tenderly in several spots, "But I need you to wake up so I can pamper you baby." 

Janet blinked her brown eyes finally opening. "I just want to sleep in your arms." She smiled as she made her request. 

"After" she promised softly going back to the master bedroom. Cradling her lover she used her foot to kick open the door and the warmth of the candlelight greeted them. Sam carefully carried Janet inside and sat her on the bed that was covered with rose petals and then turned and went to close the door as she started the soft instrumental music by one of her lovers favorite composers greeted her. Coming back to the bed Sam gently started to undress Janet, pausing to kiss each part of her that she uncovered as her lover moaned lightly and then as she threw her pink panties into the pile she picked up the woman again cradling her to her chest with a smile, "Come on my love" she whispered softly. 

More candles were alive in the bathroom and the smell of lavender and sea breezes as blue bubbles pored over from the tub. Carefully Sam carried her toward it, "I love you Janet...you're my baby girl forever." 

"It's beautiful," Janet said commenting on the bedroom. "I love you too baby, but you didn't have to do all this." 

"Wanted to" Sam said kneeling down on the steps leading up to the tub and slowly started to low Janet inside and then pulled her wet arms out and grabbed a towel, "Relax honey, I'll be right back in two minutes ok" she asked leaning up to capture her lips again. 

"Mmmm," Janet moaned into the kiss as the hot water began to relax tense muscles. 

Breaking the kiss Sam stood up and dried off her arms, "Be right back my love" she promised as the soft music relaxed them both. Two minutes later she came back carrying a wine glass with champagne in it and a plate of hot Italian lasagna from Janet's favorite restaurant all the way across town. Carefully she sat the food down on the tub's wide spot so Janet could reach it and then went over to kneel behind her lover and started to massage her neck, "Eat baby girl and then I'm going to wash that beautiful hair of yours..." she said leaning up to kiss it. "Get you into those silk pajamas you love and put you in our bed in my arms forever so I can worship you for eternity Janet" she promised kissing her neck and then kept massaging. 

Janet took a couple bites of food then dropped her head forward as Sam worked the tension out of her neck. "That feels so good." 

"It's supposed to" she said turning to the small container of heated oil nearby and dumped a little on her hands and then started again, "Eat it all Janet, I don't want you to get sick. Come on, like a good girl" she whispered. "You're so beautiful," she promised in a gentle voice. 

"It's hard to eat with the wonderful distraction I have," Janet muttered enjoying Sam's hands. 

"Ok massage in bed then, where I can get to all of you" Sam said drying off her hands and then scooted over to the steps and sat down picking up the fork and held out a bite with a twinkle in her eye, "Come on...open up Janet. I want it all gone" she said and winked as Janet sipped the champagne. "Come on baby." 

Janet opened her mouth and ate what Sam offered her. "Why aren't you eating?" 

"Shh...." Sam ordered and spooned a little sauce before feeding her more on her finger and slid it between Janet's lips with a smile. "You have the most beautiful eyes Jan....like they see right into my soul" she said her lips quivering slightly. 

Janet pulled back so Sam's fingers were no longer on her mouth. "I could say the same about yours Sam. I could stare into them forever they seem to mesmerize me." Janet pulled Sam down to her and gave her a passionate kiss. 

Breaking the kiss Sam finished feeding her lover and then went to refill the champagne glass before she got under the counter and retrieved her lover's favorite shampoo. Going behind her again she slowly started to wash her hair, rubbing her scalp tenderly and paused to kiss and sometimes lick her neck before continuing, "You're so sexy Janet...so beautiful" she said in a soft voice. "Just relax honey...tonight is all about you and how to pleasure you." 

"Mmmm. I can think of a few ways," Janet commented before closing her eyes and enjoying the sensations. 

After the shampoo Sam carefully washed the rest of her lover's body, her own temperature rising slowly and she then held the glass as Janet finished the last few sips of the champagne, "Such a good girl for Sam aren't you" she whispered setting the glass aside and then stood up leaning down to put her hands under her lover in the water, "Time to get out honey. Ready?" 

"Always," Janet said as she began to stand water dripping down her flesh back into the tub. 

"Uh, uh" Sam said and scooped her into her arms kissing her before she carefully sat her on the closed toilet seat and then grabbed one of the extra fluffy towels and started to dry Janet's hair and her body. After that and getting hotter Sam picked up a nearby bottle of powder and bath spray, "Powder first honey, relax" she said sprinkling some in her hand and then knelt down to pick up one foot and started to rub it looking up at her love; her life. "I love you so much Janet...my days I promise to spend worshipping the ground you walk on. You're my goddess," she whispered as her hands slid up Janet's leg rubbing the powder into her soft, damp flesh. 

"Sam I can't get any more relaxed," Janet, said her voice carrying a husky tone. 

With a wink Sam managed to control herself as she finished and then picked her up carrying her naked body into the bedroom and laid her down among the rose petals on her stomach. Staying clothed because her lover had told her earlier how tired she was the woman retrieved the bottle of warm lavender and lace oil and slowly climbed on top of her lovers hips, sitting on her butt and dumped some into her hand among the covers and petals as she started to rub the woman's muscles, "Close those eyes baby...let Sam take care of your needs tonight" she said and leaned over to lick her ear a moment before continuing. 

"Mmmm," Janet moaned. "I hope you plan on taking care of all my needs." 

"All the ones that you can stay awake for and the others are first thing in the morning" she promised and dumped more oil onto Janet's back directly with as smile. "Now close those eyes hush and just let me take care of you baby." 

Janet did as directed letting Sam do as she planned. 

Finishing with Janet's back after doing her butt cheeks and her legs she helped her lover roll over onto her back and smiled ordering her to close those eyes again as she straddled her, "Spread your legs for me baby...I'm going to massage everything" she said leaning forward and planting a kiss powerfully on Janet, tasting her as she ran oiled hands over her shoulders. "Mmmm...." 

Janet lifted her head when Sam tried to pull away from the kiss. She wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and tried to pull her down so she was lying on top of her. 

But Sam pulled away, "Uh, uh honey...tonight is about relaxing you. Close those eyes" she said dumping more hot oil into her hands and then started to rub Janet's breasts tenderly, leaning over to suck on one as she rubbed the other. 

"But that would please and relax me," Janet pouted as she arched her chest into Sam's caress. 

"I have other plans" was the sultry reply as she released that nipple and switched. Finally Sam was finished with the massage but she ordered Janet's eyes to stay closed as she reached under the pillow nearby for the last purchase she had bought. While she got it ready she used her thumb to rub Janet's clitoris over and over again, "Open for me honey...nice and wide. I have something for you" Sam ordered softly as she leaned over to blow air across her vagina. "Come on..." she said blowing again. 

There was a sharp intake of breath from Janet with each blow Sam made and soon Janet's legs spread further apart as Sam had ordered. 

Holding open the woman's love tunnel Sam crawled a little up her body, "This is for you my love..." she pushed the vibrating dildo straight seven inches inside and when she saw Janet's eyes open she kissed her, sliding her tongue into Janet's mouth cutting off her cry and with her hand still on the device inside her she turned the vibrations on high and felt her clench. 

Janet began to move her hips as she wrapped her hands around Sam's neck pulling her closer while they kissed. Her eyes drifted close again as she enjoyed the sensations running through every nerve ending from her heated core all the way to her dueling tongue. 

Just as the kiss broke Carter started sliding the vibrating device in and out of her lover, feeling her arching or trying to against her weight, "Just hold still baby girl" she said and leaned over to suck a nipple into her mouth and bit it lightly, running her tongue over it as she drove the dildo hard into Janet's center. She could feel she was so close. 

"Sam," Janet panted. "Oh god Sam please," Janet needed her, wanted her. She continued to thrust her hips trying to increase the contact of the dildo. 

Changing nipples she kept it up until she heard Janet scream her name and then collapse as she felt the hot juices slid out of her lover. Smiling at herself she gave one last lick and then sat up sliding the vibrating device from her body and carefully climbed off with a soft kiss to Janet's lips. 

The orgasm had been so powerful Janet didn't wake up the entire time that Sam took a hot washcloth and cleaned her up, got her dressed in the silk pajamas or changed the bed. She had just changed into her own pajamas when she saw those eyes looking at her, "Hey baby, how are you feeling" she asked softly and walked over making sure she was still covered up tightly in the sheet, blanket and comforter since it was supposed to get chilly tonight. 

"Good," Janet said sleepily. "Would be better if some blond were hear holding me." 

"She will be" Carter promised. "I'm just going to go check on the girls unless you wanted to do it baby" she offered. "They probably want to tell their special mom good night." 

"I don't think I could move at the moment," Janet said smiling. 

"Guess that means I do it then but I'll be a few minutes" Sam whispered kissing Janet's shoulder through the blankets. "I have to recover Kira in goop. Cassie may come in and bid you good night, I don't know but you stay covered up; I don't want you getting a chill baby girl" she ordered and kissed her head. "Be back in a few minutes and there is a fresh glass of ice water on the nightstand if you want a drink honey. Anything else?" 

"Maybe I should say goodnight," Janet said trying to sit up. 

"Here" Sam said and helped her sit up and smiled. "Think you can make it? If not I can send them in here." 

Janet laughed. "If you send them in here they may not leave, that means you will have to sleep with them." 

"Only until they fall asleep and then I carry them back to their own beds" she proclaimed like she had come up with the perfect plan. "So if you want to stay here I'll send them in." 

She shook her head. "No I'll go," and stood taking a few steps towards the door still feeling very tired. 

The first room they came to was Kira's and they saw her sitting up typing at her desktop computer, pausing every few seconds to scratch somewhere. Sam shook her head, "Kira don't scratch," she ordered going into the bathroom to get the lotion and the cotton balls. 

The girl rubbed her butt back and forth on the seat as she saw her mom come over, "Hi mom, you look sleepy." 

"I am a bit tired. It's been a long week, a very long week," Janet said kissing the top of her head. "I'll put some lotion on you when Sam brings it." She took a seat on her bed and waved to Kira to come sit with her. That's how Sam found them Kira witting with her head resting on Janet's shoulder and Janet's arms around her. 

Sam smiled as she knelt down, "I'm going to end up sleeping alone aren't I" she asked with a grin. 

Kira nodded, "Yep, not letting go of her." 

"That depends if you can untangle me from our daughter," Janet said with a yawn and kissed Kira's head again. 

"Nope" Kira said with a smile and sat up but kept a hand in her mom's. "Goop me Sam, but then I'm keeping mom." 

"And who am I supposed to lay with" she asked as she started to cover Kira's spots. 

"Cassie" the girl said happily. "Mom makes me feel better," she stated without preamble. 

"Yes she does but how about I get her tonight and tomorrow you can have her all day" Sam asked her younger daughter. 

"Nope, get her now." 

Janet grabbed Sam's shirt and pulled her to her giving her a very powerful kiss. "Can't you to share?" 

Pulling back they saw Kira smiling and she nodded, "Ok, I'll share but it's under protest Kira. Janet, go tell Cassie good night while I get finished gooping the kid and then I'll tuck you both in." 

Kira smiled and hugged Janet, careful to not get her pink and kissed her cheek, "Hurry back momma." 

Janet left the room and headed into Cassie's room. "Don't stay up too late," she said as she stood behind her daughter. "How was your date?" 

"Ok I guess" Cassie said as she sat at her computer and typed feeling her mom pulling her hair and running her fingers through it. "You doing ok? Sam said you were really tired after you helped her get her sight back, great job by the way mom." 

Janet smiled. "It has been a long week and I didn't sleep much when Sam was blind. Maybe a half hour here and there was about it," Janet admitted knowing that the stress from that was wearing her down. 

"I know, I watched you when I could" she admitted and shut down her computer standing up and looked at her mother. "You're a good doctor mom, an excellent mom and I'm proud of you" she admitted and hugged her tightly. "Tomorrow after work I need to talk to you though." 

Janet hugged Cassie back. "Is something wrong? You can talk to me know and both Sam and I have the week off." Janet was beginning to get a little worried that something was wrong with Cassie. 

"Nothing that you can fix mom" she said thinking of Jake as she released her. "We'll talk tomorrow" she said and moved to the bed, kicking her slippers off and climbed in under the covers. 

Janet pulled the covers back and covered Cassie tucking her in. She sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you sure honey? We can talk now." Janet moved a piece of hair behind Cassie's ear. 

"You're tired now" she insisted but looked like she really did want to talk. Cassandra loved her aunt Sam but this was something that her mom would understand first. She wouldn't want to go out and tear Jake apart and it had been nice for what it was. 

Janet pushed Cassie over so there was room on the bed for her to lie down. She crawled under the covers and pulled Cassie to her. "Tell me what's wrong honey?" Janet's voice was soft and full of concern. 

Sighing the girl pulled back but didn't meet her mom's eyes, "Jake and I had sex mom." 

"Was it consensual?" Janet asked, tears at the corner of her eyes. 

"Yes of course" she insisted and scooted back into her mom's arms. "It was really nice mom, but at first it hurt you know and I wasn't sure but then...then it was really nice." 

"Did you use protection?" Janet asked needing to know if Cassie may be getting pregnant. 

"If you mean condoms yes we did" Cassandra told her mother. "There was some blood when we were done but not much. It was really great mom but I thought...well I thought you should know." 

Janet nodded. "Thank you for telling me honey," she said kissing her head. "Please always use protection and if this is something the two of you are planning on doing more often then you should maybe consider using birth control pills." Janet swallowed. "I just want you to promise me that you will never let someone force themselves on you. Man or woman if you don't want to have sex with them I don't want you to give in. Stick by what you want and don't get hurt." Janet closed her eyes having flashbacks to when she was younger before she knew Sam and had her daughters. 

"I promise mom" she said without hesitation and held her mom close, feeling so safe in her arms. "What do I have to do to get some of those pills? I mean I don't...well you know if we will but just incase...I mean right? Just incase?" 

"We'll make an appointment with my gynecologist and you can get the prescription from her," Janet said rubbing Cassie's back. "Are you going to tell Sam?" 

"Yes but I wanted you to know first" she said pulling back a little. "I...I can't see you? I'd really rather mom, you know I don't want...well strangers looking at me down there and I trust you and...." 

"It's ok honey don't get worried over it, but I can't that's not my area of experience," Janet said. "But this is my doctor and I trust her. Or you can see Sam's if you want. We both trust our doctors so they will be safe for you." 

"You can do it, I know you can" she insisted sitting up. "It's just some pills mom; you've written me prescriptions before" she insisted. "Besides with my 'special' past I thought you were the only doctor cleared to see me anyway." 

"We talk about that some more later all right," Janet, said kissing her forehead. "Get some sleep now. I'm going to see to your sister and Sam." Janet began to get out of Cassie's bed. 

"Mom" Cassie said sitting up and grabbed her hand looking into her eyes, "I'm sorry...I...know this isn't what you wanted to hear but it was...well Jake was very understanding and he made it special. I also...well I trust you ok? And if you want me to send Aunt Sam in, I'll tell her." 

"I'm not mad at you or anything honey. I have always only wanted your first time to be with someone special that you love and loves you," Janet said looking at Cassie with a smile. "You tell Sam when your ready and since we are in a relationship she isn't exactly your aunt." 

"It was special mom and I know but she's always been Aunt Sam, it kind of fits" she offered with a smile. "Would you tuck me in please," Cassandra asked her mother. 

Janet tucked Cassie in. "I'm glad you told me," Janet said the stopped for a minute. "I want to ask you something. What would you think if Sam and me got married someday?" 

"I think it would be wonderful" Cassandra answered and rolled over to look at her mother. "I'll see you after school tomorrow ok? We can talk more about the gyno...the doctor you said all right? But I still want you to do it mom." 

"We'll talk tomorrow and you will eventually have to tell Sam," Janet said kissing her forehead and moved towards the door. She turned off the light saying," Good night." She headed into the hallway to find what Sam and Kira were doing. 

Sam was just coming out of Kira's room and smiled, "I talked her into letting you sleep with me tonight and she's in bed but she wants you to come and kiss her and tuck her in Janet" she told her significant other. 

"SAM" Cassandra called, "I need to talk to you." 

"I'm being paged it seems, I'll join you in our room baby" she said giving Janet a kiss and headed up the hallway toward the other girl's room. 

Kira was lying on top of the covers itching when she saw her mom, "I know...don't scratch but it itches mom." 

"Then rub but not too hard. If you scratch you are going to wind up getting scares," Janet said moving towards the bed. She kissed Kira's forehead and pulled the covers tighter around her. "Sleep tight honey." Janet moved towards the door and turned off the light before heading to her room. 

Cassie saw Sam enter her room. "Sam," she said nervously. 

It was a half an hour later when Sam entered her bedroom after the 'bombshell' that Cass had dropped on her. She felt like the protective father, "I'm going to kill that boy first thing tomorrow" she told Janet who was sitting up in bed and had a smile on her face. "Damn Janet, she wasn't supposed to have sex until she was like ninety or something...I mean you gotta fix this, put it back" she said kicking off her slippers and climbed in beside her lover. "I'm going to murder that boy, I'm telling you. He had no right, she's just a girl...I mean nineteen yes but..." 

"Calm down Sam," Janet said laying a hand on Sam's arm. "As much as I don't like the idea that she has sex either she is an adult and it is her choice. It was consensual and they used protection." 

"I'll calm down but I won't like it" she said bringing her other hand up to cover the one on her arm and smiled. "I'm still going to talk to that boy, maybe I'll have the Colonel shoot him. What about an exam? Are you going to take her into the office tomorrow? I'll stay with Kira." 

"Sam you're panicking," Janet said. "Tomorrow we are going to talk about seeing a gynecologist and no one is going to shoot him." Janet closed her eyes and stilled her breathing before her eyes opened again. 

"Ok, ok" she promised with a sigh, "But I am going to talk to him. I trust you'll make sure Cass is ok" she said and scooted down on the bed pulling Janet with her and wrapped her in her arms. "Go to sleep honey, we'll worry about the world tomorrow." 

"Of course I'll make sure she is ok. That's my job," Janet said and yawned resting her head on Sam's shoulder. 

"And you do it beautifully my love" she promised kissing her and then rolled over enough to shut out the light and rolled back over holding Janet close to her. "Rest honey, I've got you." 

Janet closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep but her dreams were anything but peaceful. With the news Cassie had given her she had flashes back to when she was younger and how she was forced many times by her husband to have sex when she didn't want it. Janet was just thankful that the week was over and maybe now she could get some rest. 

Fresh coffee, sausage and eggs greeted Janet when she woke up the next morning as she sat up to see Sam carrying a tray in. "It's almost eleven, Kira is gooped up and propped in front of the TV on the sofa all tucked in. Her fever is only up a point so she's fine. Cassandra is already off to school after a good breakfast and you are beautiful" she said setting the tray over her lap and took a seat picking up a napkin to spread over her lover. "How are you feeling Janet? Any better?" 

"I'm still a little tired but I feel a lot better than before," Janet said. "Especially since I have a beautiful woman waiting on me." 

"Well the guys told me stories about how you pushed yourself so tired is normal" she stated with a wink pinked up Janet's fork while handing her a glass of juice. "All done baby...I'm going to feed you and then draw you a nice hot bath so you can soak before getting dressed. After that" she said mixing up the eggs and sausage the way the woman liked it she smiled, "I'm going to tuck you in on the sofa with your daughter so you two can watch TV until Cass gets home for your talk. Sound good my love?" 

"I don't think I will have the bath this morning," Janet said yawning. "Maybe later tonight." 

"Your call honey" she said with a grin and speared some eggs and sausage. "Now open those gorgeous lips of yours." 

Janet let Sam feed her and when she was finished she began to get dressed. 

Coming back after getting the tray put away Carter picked Janet up in her arms effortlessly and spun her around before heading toward the door, "The sofa awaits and while you're relaxing I'm going to mow the lawn so you'll have to use the walkie talkie I borrowed from the base if you want anything before I'm done" she said as they entered the hallway. 

As Sam carried her out of the room Janet took this time and closeness to kiss Sam and then suck on a sensitive point of her neck. 

After pausing for a couple of sensual kisses she carried her love downstairs and saw Kira sit up and raise the blanket. Planting Janet down she watched the girl snuggle up close to her mom before watching TV. 

"Ok, you two behave and use the radio if you need anything before I'm done. Janet keep those beautiful toes on the couch, you need to relax" she ordered and kissed both girls. "Love you." 

"Love you too Sam," Janet said and made a shooing motion with her hands. She wrapped her arm around Kira as she snuggled against her. Soon Kira had fallen asleep and Janet carefully removed herself from the girl and laid her across the couch covering her up. She headed into her study turning the walkie-talkie down on low. As she sat at her computer she had a few of her medical texts in front of her looking up the Chickenpox. She was taking notes on a pad of facts that may be of importance later. 

The day passed pretty lazily, though Sam had cautioned Janet about working but after lunch she seemed fine and went to sort out a computer issue while Kira watched TV and then talked on the phone since today was faculty senate with one of her friends. 

Cassandra came home and bid both women hi and went to her room silently. 

The rest of the week passed by in much the same manor. Sam took care of Kira mostly with Janet helping occasionally. Sam was still pampering Janet and refused to really let her tend to Kira, she felt she was more than capable to do that much. It was the last day of their time off and Janet stacked the books on her desk next to the computer with her notes sitting on top. She stood and headed to her room. Everything seemed normal and Janet changed into something to sleep in. She was sitting reading when Sam came in telling her the girls are ready to go to sleep and wanted a kiss. 

"You want to go to them or do you want me to have them come to you" Sam asked hopping in bed on her stomach beside her lover and smiled. "And you and I really have to decide what we are going to do about this Cassie birth control thing...she refuses to let anyone at her but you Janet." 

"I know Sam I'm a little concerned about that fact," Janet said with a sigh. "She gets her stubbornness from you." Janet scooted to the edge of the bed and took a minute before standing up and taking a few steps toward the door when she wavered and started to fall. 

Immediately Sam was on her feet and had just barely provided a barrier for Janet to fall into, "JANET" she cried picking her up, she was burning up. "Janet can you hear me? Janet" she demanded moving to lay her back on the bed. 

"Sam," Janet managed, trying to keep her eyes open. 

"I'm here, just hang on" she promised and felt her face again. "Janet you're running a fever, can you tell me what's wrong? Should I take you to the Academy Hospital or the base" she said terrified as she was kneeling beside the bed and heard footsteps. 

Turning Sam saw them, "Girl's it's ok and...." she stopped then and saw it. "Oh no" she said releasing her lovers hand and carefully unbuttoned her pajama top a button. ~Damn, damn, damn...I should have made her stay at the base...take care of Kira myself~ "Cassie I need you to go warm up the car, either one and Kira go downstairs and get your mom's coat for me." 

"Sam what's going on?" They asked simultaneously panic in their voice. 

"Just do what I said girls, your mom is fine" she said turning lightly to grab the phone and dialed the mountain. "This is Lt. Colonel Carter, I need whoever is senior in the Infirmary right now" she ordered rubbing Janet's arm. "Janet can you hear me" she asked as the girls ran off to do what they were told. 

Cassie grabbed Janet's car keys and was warming the car up. Kira had grabbed her coat and was currently running back up the stairs to the master bedroom. 

"Doctor Fraiser would be the senior officer but she is currently at home. I will have someone ring her," the young airman said. It was obvious that he was just posted to the base. 

"AIRMAN" Sam yelled and saw Janet turn toward her, "This is about Doctor Fraiser so get whoever is currently there and on call next to her" she said seeing Kira coming in with the coat. "Kira come here" she said and handed her the phone and took the coat. "I'm going to get your mom into her coat, but tell me when they have a doctor on that thing" she said handing the child the receiver. 

"Sure Sam" she said listening to the phone now. 

"Janet" Carter said standing up, "You're running a fever and I'm taking you into the base but we need to get your coat on. Can you try to help me baby?" 

Janet sat up a little but any movement was difficult. 

"Sam there's a Doctor Warner on the phone," Kira called out. 

"Tell him one minute honey" she ordered and finally got her lover into her coat and turned to take the phone. "Kira go downstairs and get coats for both you and your sister. Tell Cassie to leave the car running but get in the back seat but you wait by the door with the house keys, you're going to lock up behind us since I'll be carrying your mom" she said. 

"Ok Sam" she said giving a look to her mom and then raced out. 

Bringing the phone to her ear Carter took a deep breath, "Doctor Warner I'm on my way in with Janet, she's running a very high fever and collapsed a few moments ago and is weak. Her daughter has had the chicken pox and she's got the rash on her chest, I need a medical team to meet us in twenty minutes." 

"Has she had the chickenpox as a kid?" Warner asked a little concerned. 

"She told me no, listen I'll call you back in the car if you want me to" she said seeing Janet reaching for her hand and gave it to her. 

"There is no need to call back. I will have a team ready and one of the private rooms set up," Warner informed her knowing this could be a serious thing. 

"We'll be there in twenty and Cassie is the only other one that hasn't had them so you'll want to check her. Bye" she said and tossed the phone down and picked Janet up as she moaned. "Easy baby...I've got you. You're going to be fine" she said moving with speed toward the door. 

"I'm sorry," Janet whimpered. 

Kira was standing by the front door when she saw Sam carrying her mom coming down the stairs. "Cassie wanted to know if you wanted her to drive?" 

"No, I want her in the backseat" she said racing out the door. "You didn't do anything Janet so relax, we've got you" she said and repeated her orders to Cassie. Once the girl was inside she put Janet in the backseat and got the blanket from under the front seat and covered her up, "Keep her warm Cass" she said as Kira got into the passenger seat and she slammed the door racing around to the front and hopped in wasting no time backing up and racing off. 

Enroute To SGC

Cassie sat in the back seat with her arms wrapped around her mom. "Sam what's wrong?" She asked in a childlike voice. 

"Tired," Janet mumbled as she rested her head on Cassie's shoulder. 

"She's got chicken pox Cassie, Kira," she explained while driving. "Most people get them as kids like Kira and I did but you and Janet" she said referring to the backseat, "Just like to be different. Don't worry, Doctor Warner is the best after all your mom trained him so he'll have her home in no time, promise" she said. "Janet" she called back, "Just close your eyes and rest." 

"Yeah mom" Kira said a bit upset that she got her mom sick, "You're going to be ok" she promised, choking a little on the last word. 

Sam put a hand on her knee, "Kira this was not your fault, Janet is around this type of stuff all the time." 

"But she was taking care of me," Kira repeated sadly. 

Janet did as was told and closed her eyes trying to fall asleep. 

"Kira your mom is going to be fine...I promise you" Carter assured her. "You didn't do this and Janet could have gotten this anywhere, anytime. Ok? We'll talk about it I swear." 

"Shh mom" Cassandra whispered holding her mom tightly she was burning up. "Sam," Cassie said wanting to tell her. "She is burning up. I think her fever might have increased a little." 

Inside she was terrified at the news but she nodded increasing her speed, "Ok Cassie, Warner said that might happen. It's just your mom is trying to fight the chickenpox; she's fine" she promised. 

SGC Complex

They arrived to the base in sixteen minutes and Sam jumped out as a medical team rushed forward from the base of the mountain. She got the girls back and out of the way, "Janet you're going to ok" she called out not knowing it the woman was conscious. "Warner is she ok" she called out to him terrified. 

"We have her now Colonel," Warner said. "She will be all right." Warner knew that right now they needed to hear that regardless if that was the truth or not. "OK I want her on an IV drip get her hydrated again and give her antibiotics." They rushed to the elevator and entered the mountain. Due to the size of the gurney Sam and the girls had to stay and wait for the elevator to return. 

Infirmary

By the time they arrived at medical Janet was in a private room and had an IV and an O2 mask over her face. Sam helped the girls sit up on a gurney and looked over as Warner came in, "Well? How is she? Can we see her?" 

"She is stable right now," Warner said. "We are running some test on her and there is a nurse in there finishing with the last of the tests. I would say in an hour or two you might be able to go in and see her." Warner took a good look at Fraiser's family. "Why don't you get some sleep and then come back. The test result should be in by then." 

"I'll take the girls to quarters and then I'm sitting with Doctor Fraiser" she said and turned to pick up Kira. "Come on girls, let's get you into bed." 

"Sam we want to stay with mom" Cassie said for both of them. 

"Cass you can't, Kira is still getting over the chicken pox and you'll be lucky if you don't get them though Janet had wished you would before you got to be an adult like her" she said and felt Warner come up behind her. "What" she asked him turning around and held the fifteen-year-old girl in her arms tightly, almost like she was two. 

"Doctor Fraiser will be fine," Warner said laying a hand on her shoulder. "Stay with the girls a little while. They need you." 

"Thank you but I'll be back once they're asleep" Sam said and left the Infirmary. The ride to Janet's quarters was very slow and despite the questions Sam got both girls in bed and sat beside them. "Rest both of you, if your mom gets up and sees that I didn't take care of you she's going to kick my butt and you know it." 

Fraiser Quarters

"Mom" Kira began wiping a tear, "She's going to be ok right?" 

"You heard Warner; she's going to be fine" she promised holding their hands. "Now sleep." 

But instead Kira climbed onto Sam's lap and hugged her. Even with everyone's assurances that Fraiser was going to be fine she was still scared. "Stay for a while," she requested between sobs. 

Stroking her hair Carter nodded slowly, "I'm here Kira, for you too Cass" she said raising her arm so the girl could snuggle into her. 

Infirmary

It was three am; Sam had been up half the night and finally had the girls to sleep. All of SG1 and the General had stopped by and she got the Colonel and Teal'c to stay with the girls while she went back to the Infirmary. Nodding to the staff she entered Fraiser's room and stopped. She looked so weak and vulnerable and coming over Sam leaned over to kiss her hand, "I'm so sorry baby...so sorry I didn't see what was happening" she whispered so she wouldn't wake her and took a seat nearby rubbing her arm gently. 

Janet stirred restlessly and began to cough violently but never opened her eyes. 

Panic filled her when Janet coughed and she stood up, "Nurse what's wrong...why is she coughing? What can we do?" she demanded to the woman in the room. "Where the hell is Warner? Why isn't he in here taking care of her" she said rubbing her cheek tenderly, the tears so close to falling as the pain her lover was in ripped into her heart and soul. 

"Doctor Warner is looking over the results from the tests that we ran," the nurse informed her. "Currently Doctor Fraiser has also developed pneumonia which is typical." She was a little cold in telling Sam what was wrong. "There is nothing you can do so you might as well leave." 

Anger gushed from the woman and she knew the woman was new. Releasing Janet's hand she walked over and glared, "What's your rank nurse?" 

"I'm a Lieutenant ma'am," the nurse stated with a bit of attitude at the Colonel's anger. 

"Well let me EXPLAIN something to you Lieutenant" Sam said and pointed at Janet. "That woman happens to be my lover and as soon as possible she's going to be my fiancé. I'm a Lt Colonel and therefore you can consider this a direct order. If you treat either Doctor Fraiser or her family with the same cold disregard you just spoke with me I'll feed you your career through your ears and you'll be lucky if the Air Force allows you to spend your days taking a horse's temperature. ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING ME" she all but hollered and got right up in the woman's face. 

"Understood ma'am," the nurse said and saluted her. As Sam began walking away the nurse mumbled under her breath. "Damn gays they should have never allowed them into the military." 

Without preamble Carter turned and told her to hold it. Angry she walked over to the door and motioned an SF in from the corridor, "Place the Lieutenant under arrest and take her to the brig. The charge is disrespecting a superior officer; I'll have the paperwork filed within the hour. Also find Doctor Warner for me" she ordered. 

"Yes ma'am" he said and walked over putting handcuffs on the Lieutenant who was staring wide-eyed. 

Nodding she glared at her, "You tangle with me Lieutenant you better hope to God you have more points with the General than I do" she said knowing she didn't. "If you come within a mile of Doctor Fraiser again I'll kill you with my bare hands" she snapped and turning away to go back to her lover. "Get her the hell out of here Sergeant." 

"You have no right to have me treated in this manor," the nurse yelled trying to get away from the SF. 

"Add resisting arrest to the charges," she snapped as another SF came in at the hollering and they started to drag her from the room. 

"You have no right to do this," the nurse continued to yell as Abby entered the room. 

Ignoring the Lieutenant Sam took her seat and picked up Janet's hand tenderly and kissed it, "Abby how is she" she asked rubbing the flesh gently. 

"She isn't doing too good ma'am," Abby said truthfully. "We are having trouble finding an antibiotic that is working." Abby stood on the other side of Janet from where Sam sat and took her pulse before rubbing her arm. "She has been unconscious since you brought her in." 

Closing her eyes a moment as the yelling nurse was finally hauled out Sam let the tears fall and then opened her eyes, "Abby aren't antibiotics designed to help the body's immune system, it's natural defense attack whatever is wrong? They boost the white cell production right?" 

"Yes but for some reason Doctor Fraiser's immune system is ignoring the antibiotics. We tried a few different types most just get ignored but one or two were treated like they were part of the disease. That only made her more sick and now she has pneumonia because we can't get the antibiotics to work." Abby moved around the bed and knelt next to Sam offering her some support. Abby knew how much these to women meant to each other and didn't want to see anything bad happen to either one. She hopped that they would be able to help the doctor and soon. 

After crying a few minutes on Abby the Lt. Colonel stood up and had an idea, "Abby..." she began and saw Warner come in. "Doctor just who I was looking for," she said wiping her eyes. "I have a question for you. According to all Janet's reports the Naquada in my blood acts like a super immune builder. If you filter some out and combine it with the antibiotics is there a chance it can help Janet" she asked not caring about any risks to herself. 

"I don't think it is possible to separate the Naquada from your blood and you don't have the same blood type," Warner said not sure if it would work. 

For a moment as Warner examined his patient Sam thought and then had it, "That doesn't matter" she said trying to think and kept her eyes on Janet. "Remember when Daniel was possessed by Machello's Goa'uld killing bugs. Janet used a quick freeze separating the red blood cells and the rejectable parts so we could give them the rest. You helped us," she said looking right at David Warner. "Why couldn't we do something similar here?" 

"But that was done to specifically to get the protein marker left by Jolinar," Warner said understanding where Sam was going. "I don't know if the Naquada would transfer. It would depend on what parts of your blood it has bonded with." Warner stopped deep in thought trying to think if this is even plausible. 

Lettings Janet's hand go Sam rolled up her sleeve, "So take some and find out Doctor" she ordered quickly. "This will work...it has to. What have we got to loose to at least explore it" she asked holding her arm out to Abby. 

The black woman looked over at Warner and shrugged lightly, she'd do whatever he advised. 

Warner nodded, he liked Doctor Fraiser and didn't want to loose her. "Go ahead Abby. I'll run the necessary tests and we can see what the results are." Warner looked once more at Colonel Carter. "I can't make any guarantees that this will solve out problems." 

"It will" she said and leaned down to kiss Janet's cheek tenderly, "Just hang on Janet...I'll be right back" and then she left with Abby. 

Hours later a tired Sam Carter listened from her spot beside Janet as Warner explained it could work but the amount of blood they would have to take from her to separate out enough Naquada would be high and there was a risk, "It doesn't matter" Sam said rising. "Take however much you need, right now" she ordered and would follow him out. 

Warner stopped. "We just got you back Colonel. I'm not going to turn around and risk it even if it is for Doctor Fraiser," he paused. "I'll take what I can, but we will have to find other sources." 

She started to object but then walked up to him, "David I'm asking you as Sam, please. You take what you need to save Janet's life...give me your word if you ever respected me or anything I've done. I promise you I'll be fine" she said putting a hand on his shoulder and her tear filled eyes locked with his. "She's all I have Doctor, don't make me loose her because of my inability to help her. If I have to die at least let it be because I know Janet will live, please" she said tightening her hold on his arm. 

"I know how much you want to do this Sam," Warner said with a sigh. "What about using Cassie and Teal'c as the other sources?" 

"We already know that my blood can be used from the Machello incident earlier and Cassie...I don't want to put her through this. Please Doctor...David," she said holding his eyes, "I'm asking as your friend." 

He nodded slowly, "All right Sam, if you're sure." 

"I've never been more sure, but do me a favor" she said and dug into her uniform pocket and pulled out a red jewelry box. "If anything happens give that to Janet for me, tell her I'm sorry and I'll be waiting for her forever and I love her all right" she said pressing it into his hand and nodded. "Let's do this before she gets weaker." 

"I'll hold onto it for you so it doesn't get lost, but you can tell her yourself when this is over," Warner said smiling giving Sam's arm a squeeze. "Abby have another gurney brought in here please." 

"Yes Sir" Washington said and went to a phone. 

Nodding to Warner Sam went back to Janet and saw she was actually conscious, she'd done that a couple times in the last few hours and she brushed her cheek lightly smiling at the face half hidden by the oxygen mask, "Hey baby...you hang on" she ordered Janet gently and rubbed her arm. "Soon you're going to be at 100% again." 

Janet blinked slowly knowing Sam was up to something. "No," she tried to say through the oxygen mask but Sam couldn't understand her. Pulling the mask away she tried again. "No," she whispered. 

Fighting back tears the woman carefully but the mask back and met Janet's eyes over the mask, "Rest baby" she ordered and looked over at Warner, "I want her sedated while you do this Warner, I don't want her seeing it." 

Janet pulled at the masked again. "No Sam," she whispered a little strongly her eyes filling with tears. "Don't risk it." 

Grinding her teeth together Carter stood up and leaned over her lover, the tears sliding down her cheeks, "I AM NOT loosing you Janet...so help me God if I have to hold you to this place by strength of will alone you ARE going to get better and come home to me and the girls" she said and looked over at Warner. "Do it" she ordered in her best Colonel's voice and reached up cupping Janet's hot cheek. "I'll be here Janet...that's a promise from me..." she lifted the mask again to her face and this time held it firmly, "To you." 

Janet was afraid that what ever Sam was doing was going to take her away for good. Janet couldn't let that happen no matter what. She would keep fighting this, but would not let Sam give her own life even for hers. Janet let the tears fall not wanting Sam to die for her and shook her head. She tried to pull the mask off but Sam held it in place so instead she tried to sit up and fight against Sam. 

As Carter held her to the gurney Warner called for a sedative and Sam nodded her consent, "Easy Janet...take it easy" she ordered holding her tightly but tenderly as she watched the junior doctor inject the sedative into Janet's IV line. ~Thank God~ she thought and when she felt the woman slowly start to relax she lessened her hold and gave her a smile, "I'll see you soon honey" she said and then gently pulled the mask clear to give her a fast kiss. "I love you Janet, you come back to me," she said softly the tears falling as she replaced the mask and her lover fell asleep. Straightening up Carter blinked a few times and wiped her eyes looking at Warner as she unzipped her jacket, "Let's do this," she said moving to go to the other gurney that was brought in. "Remember your promise David, you save her life and mine doesn't matter" and then she lay down. 

Before the sedative could take effect Janet coughed violently and drops of blood were now on the inside of the oxygen mask. 

"I have blood ready for a transfusion for you. We can take what we need for Janet and give you enough of your blood type to sustain you," Warner informed her. "Lay back and relax Colonel," Warner cleaned the area above the vein. He inserted the needle with a little bit of discomfort to Sam. "Sorry." 

Turning slightly Sam looked over at her sleeping lover and then at Warner, "Save her Warner or don't let me wake up" she said and closed her eyes filling her mind with images of Janet, the girls and blocked out all around her. 

It was hours later when everything was done. The blood had been taken from Sam and hers was replaced. Warner was now in the lab separating what is going to Janet and what she would reject. 

Abby sat with Sam while they waited for her to wake up. 

But Sam didn't wake up as Warner came in and gave Janet the blood/antibiotic cocktail and now they waited. After the blood transfer Warner had wanted the Lt. Colonel to rest but she had pushed herself, managed to almost crawl over and sat beside Janet's bed and wouldn't move no matter who ordered it and even when they did sedate her she was asleep only the minimum amount of time and then crawled right back over to her lover's bedside. They had told her that if she pushed herself she was putting her life at risk with the amount of blood they had to take but she didn't care, she had to be sure Janet was ok and she'd spend every last breath she had making sure of it. 

For three days while the guys kept the girls occupied both on and off base Sam Carter never left Janet's side longer than to tuck the girls in bed or get them to eat. She ate sparingly and spent almost as much time as the medical staff did in the Infirmary. She was tired, she had dark circles under her eyes and she had lost almost five pounds in those three days but still she stayed in the chair right by her lover. General O'Neil had given her a direct order to leave the other day for a few hours so Sam had but had called in every hour. Sitting beside the bed she rubbed Janet's hand, the chicken pox rash was in full swing and they had lotion on the spots, but Janet was in and out of consciousness only mumbling a few words, but the pneumonia made sure she slept a lot. Sam massaged her arms, feet and legs when she needed it; she helped bathe her lover, read to her and everything for days. Never even leaving when the girls came to visit she had her head resting on Janet's arm as she rubbed her thumb over the hand she held and cried. What if she lost her because of this? Sam had already damn near lost her once and she had a meeting once Janet was better about the Lieutenant Anderson who had disrespected her. The General had said he'd support if she wanted to press charges but either way the woman would be transferred from the SGC so he'd advise she talk to Janet since it was her staff. 

Janet was beginning to regain consciousness again and felt a weight on her arm. Looking over she saw it was Sam's head resting on it. With her other hand she moved it and ran her fingers through the blond hair, the gesture slow but meaningful. 

Immediately Sam sat up, not realizing it was Janet and that her paleness and the circles and weight loss would jump out at her, "Janet" she mumbled and slowly stood up, stumbling only once and squeezed the hand as she pressed the call button. "Baby is that you? Are you ok? Really ok" she pleaded not making an effort to hide the exhaustion or the fear from her face. 

Janet turned the hand over that Sam was holding and squeezed it. She smiled tiredly at Sam. "Hey," she whispered through the mask. 

Warner came in then and told Carter to sit down, "Colonel don't push your luck with me" he ordered and studied Janet's chart and then her readings on the machines as he started to examine her. "Doctor Fraiser how are you feeling" he asked professionally. 

"Tired," she managed to get out. "Chest hurts a bit and I itch." 

"That's normal after chicken pox, pneumonia and what was close to a blood transfusion," he told his patient placing the stethoscope in his ears and over her chest, "Can I get you to breathe deeply for me Doctor? As deep as you can please" he said. 

Sam smiled knowing Janet was tired and so was she but she wasn't leaving, "The girls are going to be so happy, they missed you so much Janet." 

Janet reached out for Sam's hand. "I've missed all you too." 

After his examination Warner was pleased, "Your fever is down and the congestion in our lungs sounds better Doctor. A couple days of rest and you'll be on the road to recovery and I'll be happy to give you the keys to this loony bin back" he joked with a wink. "Get some rest Doctor, we'll shoot more x-rays and lab work but beyond that rest all right?" 

Janet just nodded and closed her eyes for a few minutes before turning her attention to Sam. 

Covering her lovers hand with hers Sam was wearing such a wide grin it lit up the room, "I'm not going anywhere baby girl...just a few inches away to call Daniel and tell him to bring the girls down to see their mom" she said crying and rested her head on Janet's arm as Warner told them both to rest and left. "I love you so much Janet...so much" she sobbed. "I was so scared but you're going to be ok...rest" she said softly. "I'll stay right here." 

Janet wouldn't let go of Sam's hand. "You weren't going to loose me," she whispered. 

Lifting her head she nodded, "You're damned right I wasn't." 

With Janet not letting go of Sam, Warner made the call to Daniel and informed him of the situation. 

"Get up here Sam," Janet said as she tugged on Sam's hand. 

O'Neil Office

The next day Janet was better still and was awake a lot more so Sam left her alone with the girls while she went to talk with the General. When she entered he told her she looked like hell and she thanked him and sat down, "Sir I need a favor" she said. 

"In regards to Anderson perhaps Carter" O'Neil asked sitting down. 

She shook her head crossing her legs, "No Sir, I'll handle that with Janet when she's better. I need an assurance from the President that no matter who learns about my relationship with Janet that we won't loose custody of Kira. Cassie is already of age so they can't do anything to her, but Kira is still three years away from eighteen." 

"My word won't be good enough will it?" O'Neill asked. 

"Yes Sir if you give it then I thank you and accept it; your word means more to me than anyone's General" she said with respect and the admiration she felt. 

"Then you have it Carter," O'Neil said. "Write out what you want it to say. Use those big words you like to make it important and bring it to me to sign." 

"Don't need it signed Sir, if you say it won't happen then I believe that" she said standing up and smiled, it was clear she had been pushing herself. "I'm going to get back to Janet and the girls General. When does SG1 go out again Sir?" 

"I'm not scheduling SG1 for a jump for at least two weeks so enjoy you're down time. Get that rest you have been neglecting," O'Neil said. "You going to tell me that was about?" 

"You'll be one of the few to see Sir," she said with a smile. "Can you arrange to have everyone that is family and important to Janet and I in the gate room right after she is released from the Infirmary in a couple days? No security cameras and no one we don't know please General." 

"Of course," O'Neil said. "You want to give me a list?" 

Grabbing a pad and pen off his desk she wrote quickly in cursive: 

O'Neil Jackson Teal'c Cassie Kira Abby Warner Siler Pauley Malcolm 

There were another twelve names she knew of and handed it to him, "Anyone else you think is appropriate would be appreciated Sir please." 

"Is this big enough to have your dad and Hammond there?" O'Neil asked. "Come on you an tell me what it is," he pushed his curiosity getting the better of him. 

"If you can get them Sir I'd love to have them there and you'll find out in two days" Sam promised and nodded. "Thank you Jack for all the understanding you've shown me; I know at times I've pushed it." 

"Ah come on Carter," O'Neill whined. "Throw an old dog a bone. Give me a hint as to what you are planning." 

"Wear your dress blues Sir, all officers and staff actually" she said with a smile and headed toward the door. "Thanks Sir" Sam called actually in a little better mood as her hand slid inside her pocket and touched the case Warner had given her back earlier. 

Jack just sat back with a big grin on his face. There was one thing and one thing only that would have to do with both Sam and Janet and require dress blues. He stood and headed into the control room. "Dial the Tok'ra, I need to get a message to Jacob ASAP." 

"Yes Sir" the man said. 

Infirmary

Back in the Infirmary the girls had gone down to the commissary to eat lunch and Janet was actually looking better and reading a file but when Sam saw the woman's face she knew she was in for it, "I don't suppose that is your file you're reading is it honey" she asked taking a seat nearby after kissing her cheek. "How are you feeling Janet?" 

"Better," Janet said, "and yes it is." Janet didn't bother to say anything more just continued to read. 

"Uh huh" she said sitting in the chair. "Warner let you see what happened didn't he? I really have to learn to duct tape his mouth and...." 

"And what I don't have a right to know?" Janet countered not looking at Sam. She was still unsure about how she felt about what had been done. 

"I just don't want you worrying Janet, it wasn't anything important and it's nothing..." she insisted not realizing as a doctor Janet had also seen Sam's chart and knew about the meds, the blood work, the transfusion, the liters taken, the refusing to rest, the weight loss. 

"Taking unnecessary risks nothing huh?" That pissed her off a little, but she wasn't tipping her hand to Sam. She kept her voice nice and calm. 

Sam sighed, "I didn't see it as unnecessary Janet. As long as it saved your life it was very necessary." 

"At the cost of your own," Janet said. "I see how it works now. Did you even bother to think that if the transfusion didn't work and you took a turn for the worst that both Cassie and Kira wouldn't have anymore family? That the two major figures in their lives would be gone." 

"And did you stop to think that if I hadn't tried and you died that they would have lost us anyway because I'd have died shortly after you did. I can't...I won't live without you Janet" Sam insisted. "I'm sorry you see saving your life as unnecessary, but you would have done the same for me or the girls and they'd have done the same for you as I did. I'm not loosing you." 

"Sam," Janet said softly. "Come here." 

Slowly she stood up, wavering only a moment and then propped herself on the side of the bed holding Janet's hand, "I love you and I'd rather someone shot me than to think about you not being with me." 

Janet pulled Sam onto the bed next to her. "Baby I am grateful of what you did. But...but if I was to wake up and find that you died to save me...I..." Janet's voice trailed off thick with emotion. She dropped her head looking at their clasped hands. 

"Hey" she said reaching over to lift her chin, "We didn't, we're fine and I have a surprise for you in a couple days but for now would you hold me so I can get some sleep Janet? I'm really tired and Warner wanted me to rest, threatened to tell you on me if I didn't sleep soon" she said with a quick kiss to her lover's lips. 

"You do look like hell," Janet said smiling. "And right now that is suppose to be my job." Janet remained still as she held her love. "Sam. I don't want you to blame yourself for this, for not seeing it. I thought I would be lucky again and didn't worry." 

"Well at least you got it now so the only one we have to worry about with it is Cassie" she said yawning and scooted over so she could hear Janet's heartbeat as she laid her head on her chest and it relaxed her immediately. "Hold me tight baby...just hold me ok" she said wrapping her own arms around Janet. 

"Always and forever," Janet whispered kissing the top of Sam's head before falling asleep herself. 

That night the girls had dinner with Janet before letting Daniel take them out to a movie but when Sam tried to tell the nurse she wasn't hungry the doctor ordered her to bring Sam a full tray and made her sit right beside her and eat it, "Janet I'm really not..." 

"Sam you lost way to much weight while I was sick," Janet said with authority. "Now you sit there and eat all the food. You can't afford to loose to much weight." Janet softened her voice. "Besides it looks like I could break you and I don't like that thought." 

Leaning forward she sniffed the food and glanced up, "What are you going to make them do to me if I say no again?" 

"Restrain you on one of the beds and give you an IV as well as force feed you," Janet said not wanting to play. 

Knowing her lover would do it, she had done it before, Sam nodded and picked up the fork, "We need to talk about that new nurse of yours while I eat, Lieutenant Anderson" she said taking a bite of beans. "What do you know about her?" 

"Not much, she just transferred here," Janet said. "I haven't had a time to get to know her yet. Why?" 

Wiping her mouth on her napkin Sam leaned over and called out telling the staff to bring in Anderson's personnel file and the report over what had happened. Minutes later Janet was reading over both as Sam ate, "I brought her up on charges of both disrespecting a superior officer and resisting arrest" she informed Fraiser as she took a drink of one of the two milks Janet had basically ordered for her. "I don't have to eat all this do I Janet?" 

"Most of it," Janet said her attention to the files. 

Shrugging the woman continued to eat, though she'd never admit how good it tasted and since the center of her life was now on her way to recovery and relatively itching little she was hungry and happy and after having her hold Sam while she slept the woman was happy and less tired. She ate in silence since she knew once Janet finished reading the file and the report she'd have a question or two and would ask them. 

"I understand the resisting arrest charge but disrespecting an officer. What did she mutter?" Janet turned her attention to Sam. 

"Does it matter" she asked not realizing she was talking to this woman's superior officer and Janet was sworn to defend her as much as possible. Taking a bite of her blue jello she waited. 

"Yes it does to me," Janet said softly. "It was you she disrespected and I want to know what she said." 

Pausing in her eating Sam nodded and wiped her mouth on her napkin, right now she wasn't Janet's lover but they were two officers discussing a personnel problem. "I came in to sit with you and she stated coldly that there was nothing I could do so I may as well leave. I made it clear that I outranked her and that you and I were involved. After she saluted me she muttered 'Damn gays, never should have let them in the military' and I responded immediately. I finally told the Lieutenant if she came within a mile of you again I'd kill her with my bare hands" she said officially. Sam knew Janet was going to be pissed at the last part especially and that she was also likely going to want to talk to Anderson, "General O'Neil says she'll be transferred immediately." 

"I see," Janet said going quiet. 

Resuming eating Sam paused and then looked over at Janet, "You think she deserves another chance don't you" she asked her lover. "As her CO you think you can talk to her don't you Janet?" 

"Actually no I don't," Janet said coldly. 

"Is that as my lover or as her CO Janet?" she asked holding out a bite of jello to her. 

Janet took the offered spoon of jello. "It's from the perspective of a gay in the military," Janet's voice was a little harsh even for her tastes. 

"Which" Sam said taking a bite for herself and smiled at the taste. "Gives us the right to be outraged but not seek to ruin her career because of her beliefs no matter who she said those comments to. I admit I as under a great deal of stress at the time and could have handled it better. What type of officer is she according to her that you just read" she asked taking a bite of potatoes. 

"What right does it give us to ruin her career?" Janet threw the question back out. "The same right people like her claim to have to end ours." Janet was more than a little pissed, especially since this was a member of her staff. 

Putting the spoon down Sam thought and was silent until she saw Janet looking at her and she nodded, "Let me ask you something Janet. If you had a patient dying of a heart attack in your Infirmary and you had a simple treatment like admission of medication to save their life but they refused because they didn't understand all you were trying to explain would you administer it anyway or let them die because of that ignorance and try to make them understand after and hope they'd change?" 

"I would make the decision on the basis if they wanted to live or die. If they wanted to live but rejected the drug based on ignorance and didn't want to get their hopes up or that of their family then I would administer it anyway." Janet was serious, her expression one of thought. 

"Lieutenant Anderson's feelings are the same Janet," she said not believing she was defending this woman. "I'm not saying as a gay in the military I agree with or support her beliefs; hell I'm the one trying to get her out of here and if I could have at the moment I'd have likely beat her to death, but we are angry because she is trying to judge our way of life when we are using the exact same standard of judging her choices and beliefs to condemn her. As gays you and I can hate her all we want but as her CO you have to decide how you want to handle this" she said and then resumed eating waiting on her lover's next words. 

"All I know and care about is the fact that she is no longer on my staff," Janet said. "If she remains there will be problems and they wont be coming from my end." 

Swallowing her food Sam was finished she had eaten half of it and pushed the rest away wiping her mouth, "So you aren't going to protest my pressing the charges I listed against her as her CO right?" 

"No I am not," Janet said with a sigh. "Knowing her views on gays and the fact that she know my sexual preference is going to cause trouble. She will not respect my authority on grounds that I am gay. That in and of itself is unacceptable. If a crisis was to happen I need my staff behind me 100% and I wouldn't have it with her." 

"Ok" she said with a nod, "You'll need to sign off on the change sheet there and she'll be out of here by morning according to General O'Neil. Warner said he'd handle her fit rep since you hadn't met her for the few days she was here if you wanted him to." 

"I think that would be the best course of action," Janet said. "And I hope the General is wise enough not to transfer he to the Academy Hospital." 

"He won't because I meant what I said" Carter told her, "If she comes within a mile of you again I'm going to kill her. I've finished eating by the way" she commented with a smile. "I ate half and drank of the milks and half the juice." 

"Thank you," Janet said in regards to what she ate. "And you know that's not the way to handle the situation. If you were to physically assault her that would only cause more problems. Even threatening her wasn't a good idea Sam." 

"I consider us lucky I didn't assault her" she stated calmly. "I wanted to Janet." 

"I know you did and still do," Janet said. "Hell for that matter I want to, but it isn't the way. All that would do is prove her point that gay's shouldn't be in the military and everything we have worked to get will be for nothing." 

"You're right" Sam admitted and shrugged, "But I can't help how I feel Janet and if you want me to I'll apologize for threatening here but that's all. Now just sign off on the charge sheet, we can move that paperwork and take a nap because I'm always sleepy when my lover makes me eat" she said with a wink. "By the way what is your absolute favorite city in the entire world?" 

"If she doesn't try to press charges for threatening you then I wouldn't worry to much about it, but it may be wise to give a small apology of sorts," Janet said signing the paper and placing the files on the table next to her. "As far as my favorite city," Janet said thinking. "I'm not really sure. I'd have to give it some thought. Why?" 

"Curious" she offered with a wink. "Dang, I should have gotten you to sign the 'Sam can go to work and is perfectly healthy' form while you were signing. Hang on I'll get one," she said rising but with a smile. 

"The only place you are going is up here on this bed with me," Janet said. "God I wonder when Warner will let you take me home?" 

"You could try asking him," David Warner said coming in with her chart then and smiled eying the tray. "Glad to see she got you to eat Colonel Carter, I was just getting ready to have her sit on you while I force fed you." 

"She wouldn't have done that Doctor" Sam answered defiantly and took a seat near Janet. 

"Yes she would, I'm surprised she didn't" he said coming up to Fraiser. "And how is my patient feeling today Doctor? You're also going to have to stop threatening the nursing staff, I can't keep telling them to ignore you Doctor. Poor Abby wants a raise after you demanded to take a shower on your own today." 

"Well what can I say," Janet said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I'm feeling better and my staff has better things to do than baby sit their boss." She let Warner take her vitals. "So what's the verdict? When do I get to go home?" 

"Oh in a week or six" he said writing on her chart. 

"You have got to be kidding. That's absurd keeping me here that long," Janet protested. "There is no reason why I can't go home now." 

"You know normally" he said putting his pen in his pocket and smiled, "Your opinion would matter but with that nasty illness came the title of patient and that gives me the right to ignore you which I fully intend to observe" he said but was joking; however he was loving teasing his boss. 

Janet narrowed her eyes. "You can not keep me. Even if I have to have my kids break me out you are not keeping me." 

"Uh oh Warner" Sam said with a smile, "If she's thinking of bringing in the big guns..." 

"You guys are just no fun to torture" he said seriously but nodded. "If all your vitals check out tomorrow and the labs and x-rays show clean then I'll release you then, but you're to go home and take it easy. Take your medicine, soak in the pool, eat healthy and do not even think about work for at least a week. Is that understood Doctor Fraiser?" 

"There is no reason why you can't just release me now," Janet pushed. 

"Sure there is" he admitted with a nod, "It's called physicians discretion and if you keep arguing with it you'll be sedated Doctor based on your own policy to deal with difficult patients so have a nice evening ladies" and he turned and left. 

Sam smiled, "Janet relax, one more night isn't going to kill you and then tomorrow I and the girls get to take you home and baby you. Both of them have already told me that they are spending your first night home in bed with you, one on each side." 

"Remind me not to give Warner his next pay raise," Janet mumbled. She then looked at her suddenly interesting hands. "I guess I gave them quiet a scare." 

Rising she came over and climbed on the bed with her and wrapped her arms around Janet, pulling her over and resting her head on her chest, "You gave all of us a scare baby, but it wasn't intentional though you're going to have to talk to Kira...she thinks she made you sick but I explained as a doctor you've been around it before and it was just your turn. She bought it but just needs to hear from you that you're all right. Though that does remind me of a problem and I still need to know your favorite city honey" Sam said and kissed her head. 

"But it is something I could have avoided if I paid attention," Janet said blaming herself for this mess and for scaring her family. "And why is my favorite city so important?" 

"I guess we both blame ourselves, I could have seen it too," she admitted to the woman of her heart as she rubbed her arms. "Let's just be grateful that we're all relatively healthy now Janet and because it just is. Someplace overseas? The Caribbean? San Francisco? New York? Atlanta? Miami?" 

"There is no way you could have seen this coming Sam," Janet said taking on all the blame. "Someplace overseas might be nice. Not the Caribbean. Don't want to go to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta or Miami." Janet thought a bit. "It would be a toss up of someplace overseas or Hawaii. But you have to tell me why." 

"I could have seen this, I saw it happening with Kira and knew how tired you were" she insisted while thinking up an excuse. "I'm just curious Janet that's all. What about Paris, Rome or London? Which one, or Sydney if you like Australia? Maybe the Virgin Islands?" 

"Rome might not be bad, but not my first choice," Janet commented. "The Virgin Islands have an intriguing name but not somewhere I really have a desire to go at the moment maybe someday. And let's come to a truce. This wasn't either of our fault, it was just fate my time to get it." 

Janet rested her head down. "And I know you are up to something. This is more than just being curious now spill." 

"Deal" Sam said and lifted Janet's chin and planted a kiss on her, a deep kiss and then smiled. "So what is your first choice? Or would you rather talk about another problem we have first before you tell me?" 

"What other problem do we have?" Janet asked wondering. She couldn't think of one but if there was something wrong maybe they should talk about it. 

"The same one we had four days ago, Cass and the doctor" Sam told her resting her head on Janet's that was now on her chest. "I love you but we have a very stubborn daughter, she gets that from you" she told her and chuckled. "I'm always cooperative so it's not from me." 

Janet laughed at that. "Yeah right, you cooperative. You're the one not willing to tell me why you want to know my favorite city. That's not being cooperative if you ask me." Janet paused and took a deep breath. "I almost forgot about that. I really don't know what to do." 

"Well let's examine the issue" the woman began laying her head back on the bed. "Cassie had sex and wants birth control pills from what she told me. You want her to go to Griggs or another gynecologist like she is supposed to but Cassie says no she wants you to do it but you said no because..." Sam paused and looked down, "Why did you say no anyway? I don't think we ever got to that part. You are qualified to examine her and prescribe the pills, you did it for me before you starting sending me to Robin Griggs right?" 

"That's one thing and I really shouldn't have done it with you either," Janet said. "I guess it's just me being uncomfortable with the idea." Janet began to rub Sam's stomach where her hand rested. 

"With me you had little choice" Carter told her as she started to rub Janet's scalp gently with her hand. "You were and are my Doctor and I'd be lying if I said I didn't trust you a hell of a lot more than any other doctor on anything so I understand how Cassie feels. Do you mind if I ask why you are uncomfortable with it Janet? Its just routine tests right? Is it a mom or doctor thing?" 

"It's more of a mom thing. I didn't have a problem examining you because well we make love and it wasn't the first time I have seen you," Janet said. "But Cassie is my daughter. It would be weird I think." 

"I understand" she assured her running her hand through her hair and kissed her head lightly. "Have you tried explaining that to Cassie? Though keep something in mind before you answer that. You told me that you and your mom weren't that close so even if she could have you wouldn't have wanted her doing something like this. To have Cassie want you speaks of how close your relationship is with her I think" Sam assured her. "As we both know it's traumatic the first time no matter who is doing it but she knows you'd never hurt her on purpose so that relaxes her, it's probably one of the reasons while your patients are so comfortable with you. Keep in mind too that when she had sex the first person she wanted to talk to about it was you so that shows you how close you are Janet. Don't you agree?" 

"That's one of the things I have been grateful for with Cassie," Janet said. "Granted we have had our problems and fights but we have always been very close. And you're right I never had that kind of relationship with my mother. Or my father for that matter." Janet sighed and resumed moving her hand. "I guess I'm just over reacting huh?" 

"I think it's more along the lines of you're being concerned for your daughter's emotional well being and as her next best friend to you that is" she said hugging her to her tightly with a smile. "I think you should do it, what's a little embarrassment if it helps her relax Janet? I mean I wish to God I had someone like you when I had my first one at twelve, I had a man and he wasn't at all nice about it." 

"So you lost your virginity at twelve. Was that by choice or force?" Janet asked. 

"Now that's a subject change if I ever heard of one honey" she said rubbing her back now. "I would say a fifty year old overweight smoker shoving his fingers inside me as I screamed is force wouldn't you?" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Janet said her voice wavering. "I thought the first time was when you went off world when we first started watching Kira." Janet went silent. Maybe she shouldn't have asked. 

Sam hugged her and kissed her then, "Please don't be sorry. Years of military service took off a lot of the fear but truthfully you're the only one I've ever relaxed with after that first time after I was assigned here. I still remember" she said with a smile, "I almost kicked you, I envied you your reflexes baby, one of the things I fell in love with about you and it's ok. As I said I trust you, as Cass does or she sure wouldn't want you to do this, but if you want I'll try to talk her out of it again?" 

"No," Janet said softly. "Talking her out of it would only cause damage emotionally. It's better if I do it." 

"If it makes you feel better I'll be there for both of you when you do it Janet" Sam offered her lover. "You can even do mine if you want so that Cassie will know what is going to happen, but that's up to you sweetheart." 

"That should be something left up to her," Janet said. "She is going to be extremely uncomfortable regardless if it is me doing the exam. I won't be able to do this for a while though." 

"So give her a prescription to last until you do. Even if you find something wrong, which we both know you won't" she assured her quickly, "The pills can't harm her physically for a week or so right?" 

"I'll do that in the morning," Janet said sadly. "This is something no mother ever wants to really hear. Their baby out in the big world having sex." 

Carter rolled her eyes, "Tell me about it. She wasn't supposed to have sex until she was forty or we were both buried so we wouldn't worry. I wonder if I could find an Everlast chastity belt with tamper proof locks" she asked in thought, but with a smile and saw Janet looking up at her with a grin. "What?" 

"You probably couldn't find one," Janet said getting an evil grin of her own. "But I bet you could make one." 

"Oh most definitely and we'll make one for Kira while I'm melting metal" she said with a wider grin. "You'll have to get their sizes though babe." 

"I'll just steal a pair of underwear while I'm doing laundry. It wouldn't be that hard to do," Janet planned jokingly. "Are we doing the right thing?" 

"About what" Sam asked kissing her before Janet laid her head back on her chest. "Sit up a minute would you honey while you tell me are we doing the right thing about what?" 

"In regards to Cassie and sex," Janet said sitting up. "Are we really doing the right thing? I mean I only have my experience of when my parents found out that I had to go by. So I don't know and this isn't exactly covered in any of the handbooks for parenting." 

"First off" Sam began and sat up to reach down to their feet and got the blanket covering them up as they got comfortable, scooting more down on the bed so Janet was lying against her now, "We are doing the absolutely right thing. In this day and age most teens wouldn't tell their parents about it let alone want them to help. She trusts us or rather you and you're responding to that trust by trusting her, so yes it's the right thing," she said snuggling more into Janet. "Second, you mean to tell me that Doctor Spock doesn't have an opinion on this? Darn, I'm crushed" she joked. 

"Doctor Spock opinions aren't worth a damn anyway," Janet said. "He has no parenting skills what so ever. I'm treading new ground here and its scaring the hell out of me." 

"Hey now, we are treading new ground" she promised holding Janet tightly. "Besides once you have her all grown up and married and are an old grandma we can make a book called Doctor Mom or Doctor Perfect...HEY" Sam said lifting her head and looked down, "I like that title." 

"Then be my guest," Janet said. "Have fun writing it. But remember you have to leave out half the stuff. In regards to the child being an alien and all." 

"You are just too evil to me Doctor Perfect" she said and giggled before planting a kiss on her lover before lying back down. "Now go to sleep, the girls are due back soon and someone made me tired from all the food she made me eat; including may I remind you honey, beans." 

"Damn I should have told them not to give you beans," Janet said laughing. "Maybe you should sleep in a different bed. Oh and you said you were going to tell my why you wanted my favorite city?" 

"I did not, I said I wanted to know your favorite city and we've determined" Sam began logically laying back as she took one of Janet's hands and put it to a spot on her stomach. "Rub right there baby. Anyway you like overseas, don't want the Caribbean or the Virgin Islands and Rome isn't your favorite so what is your favorite or do you prefer cruises?" 

"Yuck," Janet said turning her nose up at the thought of a cruise. "No cruises. Didn't like the last one I was one. And you said you would tell me. I brought up the point that your were being stubborn about it and you agreed saying you would tell me why you needed to know." 

Carter laughed at her lover's antics, "I did not, we were talking and then we skipped to Cassie and sex. So pick a city already so I can go to sleep." 

"Not till you tell me why," Janet protested. "And you did to agree with me." 

She couldn't tell her if she wanted it to be a surprise but..."Ok, I am thinking about taking us on a family vacation next summer and am getting everyone's opinion on where. The girls just want somewhere with boys and beaches, I'm partial to sun but not too hot and lots of activities, but that could be anywhere now I just need to know yours Janet." 

"If it's for a family vacation I don't really care much as long as I'm with my family," Janet said snuggling closer to Sam not getting the point of her statement. 

"Well would you PLEASE pick a city Janet, any city will do" she promised rubbing her back as her love rubbed her stomach. "Anyplace you want to go if you could." 

"It means that much to you Sam?" Janet asked leaning on her elbow to look down at her love. 

"Yes it does" she answered her without hesitation and thought the asking was going to be easier than getting the answer to a simple question here. 

"Ok," Janet said giving Sam a slow kiss. "I have always been in love with the country side of Ireland and Scotland but alas no beaches for the girls so Hawaii would be the other choice." Janet continued to look at Sam after she told her watching the blond woman think. 

~Ireland, now there is an option I hadn't thought off. It's a good thing I'm good on the computer~ she thought but smiled, "Thank you baby," she said leaning up to kiss Janet. "Now lay down; let's get some sleep." 

Janet lay back down and positioned her head right over Sam's heart so the beat would lull her to sleep. She continued to rub the stomach beneath her hand until sleep claimed her. 

That night everyone came for a visit including the girls and the guys and finally Sam took Kira with her to her office while leaving Cassie alone with Janet to help with schoolwork. The girl was sitting with her mom on her bed as they looked at a biology book and the teen wrote in cursive in a notebook, "Mom are you sure the question to three is right? Read over it would you, I think I'm missing something" she said pushing her notebook toward her mom. 

Janet read over the question and Cassie's answer. "You forgot this factor in your diagram," Janet said pointing to an area on the textbook. "That's an essential part of the joint. It doesn't work properly without it." Janet leaned back a little on the bed. "We need to talk Cassie." 

"A talk while I work talk or a put the work down and focus on me talk" she asked erasing her answer enough so she could work in what her mom said. 

"You can finish your work but it's one that you need to pay attention to," Janet said laying back a little further her back starting to hurt. 

Taking her mom's tone she wrote out the diagram quickly and then put the pencil down and closed the book pushing the table away enough so she could turn back and face her mom, "Ok, what's up mom?" 

"Well Sam and I have been talking a little," Janet started watching Cassie's reaction. 

The teen smiled, "I hope so mom; you guys do share a bedroom. Kind of awkward if you don't speak to one another isn't it" she joked. 

"Yeah it would Cassie. But that's not what I'm referring too," Janet said seriously. "We talked about you and your situation." 

"You mean Jake," she offered with a nod. "And what did you say?" 

"While neither one of us is happy that you are having sex," Janet said. "We both know that you need to make your own choices with this being one of them." Janet took a breath before continuing. "We also talked about who will be performing your exam." 

"And" she encouraged her mother taking her hand in hers, needing the contact and squeezed it. 

Janet squeezed the hand back. "And Sam was telling me that the first time is always a little nervous and it would be better if it was someone you trusted performing the exam." 

"I'd be lying mom if I said I wasn't nervous when you first recommended it but the truth is" Cassie said looking at her mom seriously, "It would be better if it was you. Would you like to know why I want it to be you first?" 

"I have already made my decision but go ahead if you want," Janet said. 

Nodding Cassandra took a moment on how to word this, "I'll always love Sam; you know that. She's the first person I trusted after I lost everyone that was so important to me at the hands of the Goa'uld. When I first came here you reached out, the nights Sam wasn't there you sat for hours holding my hand. You've saved my life when the Goa'uld put the bomb in my chest, you've given me a home, you fought with me and Nirti when she tried to kill me, you held me through those terrible nightmares, you stayed up with me after my first day of school all night talking, you explained things to me, you helped me with homework, you fix me when I'm sick or hurt, you take care of me and you love me. How can you possible think," Cassandra asked scooting up closer to her mother. "I'd want anyone but the woman I love? The woman who is mom and has been for a lot of years now and who will always be my protector, my guide, my mentor and....my hero?" 

Janet pulled Cassie into a hug and held her tightly tears falling freely. "Oh honey," Janet said then sniffled. "I will always love you no matter what." Janet took a deep breath and swallowed try to remove the tightness in her throat. "I know you trust me and you are more relaxed when it is me doing things. That's the same thing Sam and I were talking about. She even said she will be there is you need her and that I can examine her first if that's what you need honey." Janet wasn't sure Cassie would get that she would do it but she suddenly found speaking a little more difficult. 

"So that means you'll do it," she asked pulling back a little looking at her mother hopefully. 

Janet nodded. "Yeah I'll do it. The first time is always the worst and if I can help make it a little easier then I will." 

Cassandra released a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding and smiled, "Thank you mom...that...well it means a lot and is already making it easy" she said leaning up to kiss her before sitting back. "As for Sam you know my emotions better than I do sometimes and I respect and trust you as a doctor, always have so I'll do whatever you recommend mom." 

"The only thing I can recommend is that you do what is comfortable for you," Janet stated. "If that be to have Sam hold your hand, to have her get the exam first or to even wait outside the door she will." 

"Well why don't we talk a little first before I decide" she said and crawled up by her mom and slid her feet under the blankets and snuggled against her on the gurney, it was a good thing they were both small. "Can you tell me a little of what you'll do mom? The books in health class aren't 'that's specific and the girls I've talked to have all kinds of horror stories, but I know you'll tell me the truth no matter what" she said leaning against her shoulder. 

"It's a routine procedure that most women, especially those that are sexually active have done. It is painless though in some cases pain does occur but usually there is just mild discomfort. I would start by looking at the outer area of your genitals and then move to looking on the inside with the help of an instrument," Janet said pausing before continuing. "At one point I will have to insert two fingers and probe for any discomfort you may feel." 

Cass felt her mom rubbing her arm as she spoke and she was sure she could sense the fear but not overly much, "Doesn't sound fun" she admitted to her mom. 

"No they really are not but it's something that has to be done," Janet said. "The first time is always the worst and after, you get used to it." The exams really didn't bother Janet all that much anymore. It was always hearing the new and results of the exam she never liked. 

"And I can't have the pills you recommended without this test right" she asked glancing over at her mom. 

"I am going to go ahead and prescribe you a small amount to take until I am allowed back on duty," Janet said. "I can't give you the exam till I am cleared by Warner. Then we can take care of the exam and get you the normal prescription. The only alternative is to have my doctor do the exam and you can get the correct birth control from the start." 

"NO" Cassie said a little loudly and scooted up closer to her mom under the blankets. "I mean I want you to do it, whenever you can mom. I...I think I'd like it just to be you and me in the room though if that's ok. I mean you're going to be doing it so I'm safe; you won't hurt me mom; at least not intentionally." 

"No honey I won't hurt you, just cause you some mild discomfort," Janet said with a smile. "And its ok, Sam will understand." 

"You'll take good care of me mom" she said softly and rolled over draping an arm over the woman's stomach, "You've always done what's best for me; you'll do it again...I know that." 

Janet kissed Cassie's forehead. "I always will honey," Janet said softly holding her daughter a little tighter. "I might be falling asleep on you shortly. I'm a little tired." 

"See" she said yawning, "You're a mind reader too. Let's take a nap ok? And mom I love you" she said squeezing her mom relishing the closeness. 

"I love you too honey," Janet said giving her another kiss as she closed her eyes and laid back. 

Later that night Sam and Kira came back and exchanged kids, Cassie was going and Kira was staying with a visit with her mom before Sam took them home though they all wanted to stay but Warner didn't want bodies in chairs all over the place and Janet had argued that the girls and Sam needed sleep. Before Kira climbed on the bed Sam went over and kissed her lover, "Be back in an hour oh sleepy woman you. Try to have a good talk with the kid." 

"Hey I'm not a kid," Kira protested as she got up on the bed beside her mom; she had a book in her hand. 

Janet opened her arms for Kira to snuggle close. "Hey honey. How are you?" She kissed her forehead. 

Sam kissed them both and then took Cassie with her, they had planning to do for tomorrow. 

Putting the book in her lap Kira laid her head on Janet's shoulder, "I'm sorry I got you sick mom, are you ok?" 

"I'm going to be fine honey," Janet said hugging her tight. "And I want you to know this wasn't your fault. My luck just ran out and it was my time to get the chickenpox, ok." 

"But you wouldn't have if I didn't have them right" she asked her mother in a soft voice. "Stupid old chickens anyway." 

Janet laughed. "Honey chickenpox really don't come from chickens," Janet pointed out smiling. "And I could have got them from Cassie. Just because she didn't have them doesn't mean she wasn't a carrier. I could have gotten them from anyone. It's an airborne virus." 

"As long as you're ok I guess it don't matter mom" she said and hugged her mom. "Can I stay with you tonight? I'll just sit and read and not make a sound," she said looking up at her mother. "I promise." 

"No it doesn't," Janet reassured her daughter. "As much as I would love to have you stay. Cassie and Sam would get really jealous, besides Warner doesn't want anyone sleeping in chair or on the floor. I should be coming home tomorrow and then you can lay with me all you want. OK?" 

"But I want to stay with you" Kira said and hugged her mom tightly again. 

"I know you do honey but you can't," Janet said. "You will be here for an hour or more, but you have to go home." 

"Ok but I don't have to like it" she said sitting up defiantly and picked up the book. "Sam bought this for me when the General made her leave to sleep days ago, I thought you could read me some before I had to leave mom if you want to unless you want to talk that is." 

"I don't have a preference," Janet said. "We can talk if you want or I can read. It's what ever you want. I just want to spend time with my daughter." 

"Well" the girl said playing with the cover of the book and then looked over at her mom. "I did want to talk to you about something if you aren't too tired that is?" 

"I'm not tired," Janet reassured. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong" she assured her mother quickly with a smile. "I was just thinking about college today, Cassie and me was talking and well I know you and Sam want me to go right?" 

"We would like you to go yes," Janet said. "But you don't?" 

"Actually I do," she said laying beside her mom then, snuggling into the warmth. "I think I decided what I want to be is all and I wanted you to know." 

"What is your dream?" Janet asked. 

With a smile the little girl looked up with all the innocence of fifteen and she smiled, "I want to be a doctor like you, like my first mom wanted to be. I watch you take care of sick people" she said quickly to explain letting her mom hold her tightly. "I see how sad you are when you can't help but when you can...it's something in your eyes mom; something I can sense I guess. Sounds stupid huh?" 

"No it's not stupid honey," Janet said. "It's a wonderful feeling knowing you helped someone, if it was saving their life or just tending to a few scrapes and scratches. But when you can't do anything for a patient, it almost feels like you are loosing a piece of yourself." Janet thought back to Jennifer Rivers, Kira's biological mother and how she couldn't help her. "I think you would make a wonderful Doctor and your mother would be extremely proud of you." 

Sitting up a little Kira smiled, "Will you help me? Study and learn I mean mom. I may ask lots of questions," she said truthfully. "I mean more than I do now." 

"I would love to help you become a doctor," Janet said smiling. "But I want you to know that it takes a lot of schooling and hard work. This won't be an easy thing to do." Janet paused. "There may be times when you want to quite and walk away from it like I wanted too." 

"I know," she promised, "And a doctor is always learning but I want this mom..." she stated and squeezed her hand. "For you, mom and me I want this and so you know I have two moms. The first one gave me life and then the second one gave me my life back" she promised and melted against Janet hugging her tightly and buried her head into her body. 

Janet kissed the top of her head and began to run her fingers through Kira's thick hair. "Thank you honey," she whispered. "You and Cassie have blessed my life in ways that under normal circumstances never would have happened. If it wasn't for the two of you I would never have been a mom." 

"You're a great mom" she got out as she sat up and wiped her nose lightly. "Now how about you read to me," she said offering her the book with a grin and snuggled back into her mom; resting her head on her chest. 

Janet softly read to Kira as she snuggled closer to her mom. It wasn't long till Janet noticed that Kira had fallen asleep and closing the book quietly she placed it on the table and softly began to sing. 

When Sam came back she saw Janet all smiles and Kira hugged and kissed her mom before going to join her sister in the hallway while they wanted on Carter to say goodbye to Janet. "Well what has you in such a good mood honey" she asked coming over and sat on the edge of her lovers bed thinking of tomorrow; she'd managed to get most of the arrangements done, but would finish from home with the girl's help. 

"Kira was just telling me that she has figured out what she want to do for the rest of her life," Janet informed. 

Leaning back the woman was lying across Janet's covered legs, "Well are you going to share or do I have to tickle it out of the kid?" 

"I'll share but you can still tickle her anyway," Janet said smiling. "She wants to be a Doctor. Like Jennifer wanted to be and like I am." 

Sam was now smiling as Janet started to play with her hair, "Well I can't say I'm surprised. Jennifer I am sure planted the seed but she's your little girl Janet, Cassie is too, but we both always knew that she'd likely do what I did with my life because of how she met me but Kira..." she nodded. "She's your girl Janet, just like you and she's going to make a marvelous doctor like you and you're exceedingly proud right?" 

"Absolutely," Janet beamed. "How can I not be proud? We talked and I told her that there would be struggles and she may want to quit at some point. I know I did." 

"But you didn't" she promised looking up at her lover. "You likely had someone to help you through it and Kira has you to help her through it all and she'll end up being a great doctor just like her beautiful, sexy mother and said mother will be right in the front row on graduation day with so much pride I won't be able to fit her in the car. Am I close" she asked playfully. 

"Pretty close, but I'll contain my pride some," Janet said. "To finally get your medical doctorate and be able to practice medicine is a great feeling." 

Sam smiled and winked her blue eyes at Janet, "And just thinking about that day for Kira already has you gushing. You're a great doctor Janet and it's a great future for her if you like blood, guts and needles" she said with a smile and scooted over. 

"It's not all blood, guts and needles," Janet said. "But those are the majority." Janet gave her love a deep kiss not wanting her family to go. She smiled evilly with a thought. 'Think you guys can spring me out a little early? Like now." 

"Now let me think about that," Sam said scooting her head over so it was resting right on Janet's vagina under the blankets. "If I was the patient would you let me out early as my doctor?" 

"Sure I would," Janet said hoping that was the answer Sam was looking for. 

Carter laughed and smiled, "You lie miserably, but it was a good try honey. Now promise me you won't pick on the staff and I'll come and get you bright and early tomorrow and take you home and ravish you over and over and over again. Do ya promise?" she asked. 

"I promise not to pick on my staff as long as they leave me alone," Janet said smiling. "And I won't ever let you leave early now." Janet ran her fingers through Sam's short hair loving the feel as it slides between them. 

"Now, now don't be testy Doctor" she said jokingly. "Be nice to me or I won't ever let you take blood again," she said reaching up and capturing Janet's hand in her hair and brought it down to her lips as she kissed it and then put it back. "You behave ok? And rest, lots of rest and no threatening the nurses...I've been getting complaints already" she joked to Janet. 

"Complaints about me," Janet said making an innocent face. "Never and as soon as you and the kids head home I'll try to get some sleep. I miss you guys." 

"We miss you too" she said and glanced at her watch on her raised arm, "but it's only for about nine hours and then you'll be home. Warner promised me already nice and early so you can sleep that way. And yes" she said then sitting up with a wink, "Complaints about you so stop threatening the staff. Now give me a kiss with those beautiful lips of yours baby." 

Janet leaned forward placing a hand at the back if Sam's head as she kissed her. "Nine hours too long," Janet whispered after breaking the kiss. 

"Yes but" she said kissing Janet and then stood up, "It has to happen baby, you know that. Now lay back, relax and let me get my cute baby doll all tucked in before I take the kids home and feed them." 

Sam finished tucking her in and Janet grabbed one of her hands. "I love you Sam." 

"I love you too Janet" she promised squeezing the hand and kissed her cheek. "And one day very soon I'm going to shout that from the rooftops of the world and everyone will know I have the best woman in the entire universe to worship every single day. I'll see you in the morning all right?" 

"I'll see you in the morning," Janet said releasing Sam's hand. "And Sam it doesn't matter if anyone else know the love we have for each other. The important thing is that we know it." 

"Very true" she said and then leaned forward giving Janet a deep kiss, holding it as long as possible and broke it just as a nurse came in. "See you in the morning honey." 

"Time for a vitals check Doctor" the nurse said and tried to smile, she hated seeing her boss hurt. 

"See you in the morning Sam," Janet called out to the retreating back. "Everything is fine. I feel fine, except I'm here and not at home." 

"Yes ma'am" the nurse said as she started to slide a thermometer into Janet's ear, "But it's procedure as you know, you helped set it up ma'am. Please hold still" she said over Sam's giggling body as it left. 

"My rules shouldn't have to apply to me," Jane complained sitting still for the nurse to take all the necessary readings. 

It was a little after three am when Janet rolled over to find Doctor Daniel Jackson sitting beside her bed watching her sleep. He had off world attire on and looked tired. 

Seeing Janet up he smiled, "Hey Janet, how are you feeling" he asked but didn't rise. 

"I'm feeling better," Janet answered. "Shouldn't you be heading to bed? You look beat." 

"We just got back from a mission" he admitted but didn't comment on the bed thing since Warner had told him the same thing not half an hour ago. 

"And Sam didn't go?" Janet was a little worried about this. She sat up waiting for Daniel's answer. 

"Relax Janet," he said quickly, "Teal'c and I just went with another team for a few hours, it wasn't an SG1 mission. They found some ruins that looked Goa'uld and had some writing on it so Jack sent us to take a first hand look. Piece of cake" he said with a smile. "Minus this" he said raising his foot, which was wrapped in an ace bandage. 

"What happened?" Janet questioned needing to know the injuries of her team. 

"Tripped over a column while shooting video footage" Daniel answered as Janet made motions to put the foot on her bed so she could get at it. "Warner said it was a bad sprain and I was supposed to stay off it for a couple days." 

"And why have you been walking on it?" Janet questioned in her stern doctors voice. "Besides you should be in bed sleeping." 

"Well" he admitted as he scooted over a little and rested his foot so she could look at it, "I looked funny hobbling around and I can't...well sleeping is difficult right now so I thought I'd come and sit with you since Sam had to go home and....OW, OW, OW...OW ok that hurts" he said as she unwrapped it carefully. 

"Well if you would pay more attention to where you were walking it wouldn't hurt so much," Janet said as she took a look at his ankle then rewrapped it. "Is there a reason why you can't sleep?" 

He shrugged lightly, "I don't think so, I mean work is pretty heavy but other than that no. How does it look?" he asked wincing as she wrapped it a little tighter than Warner had. "Do you have to wrap it that tight" he asked knowing the answer. 

"Yes," Janet said though she didn't need to. "It's better, will help keep the swelling down more. And there must be something on your mind if you can't sleep." 

"Worried about my doctor I guess" he admitted and started to lift his ankle but Janet told him to keep it up there so he did though he felt silly. Here she was sick and she was taking care of him. 

"Why are you worried about me Daniel?" Janet asked. "I'm going to be fine. Get to go home tomorrow morning. Nice and early too." 

"You're a good friend Janet and were real sick, of course I was worried and am worried about you," he proclaimed like it was the most natural thing in the world and then smiled. "You're going to make me go to bed aren't you Janet?" 

"You can ask Warner," Janet stated. "I am fine. I've made a full recovery with a little help from Sam. I'm sorry I scared everyone." Janet paused. "You can stay a few more minutes but then you really need to get some sleep." 

"Don't be sorry, you didn't plan on getting the chicken pox for heaven's sakes" he stated right back to her and smiled. "I...well I just worry about you ok? You're a good friend," he said holding his hand out to her. "I'd do anything you wanted me to Janet, you know that" he promised. 

"Thanks Daniel," Janet said taking his hand and squeezing it. "It's always good to know who my friends are. And yes I should have been more careful. I knew I had never had them before and should have stayed away from the house." She yawned. "Why don't you go get some sleep?" 

"Only" he said with a smile, "If you'll let me have my ankle back and can spare a hug for a worrisome archaeologist. Think you can manage" he asked with a grin. "And no one expected you to stay away Janet, your baby was sick." 

"Thanks Daniel," Janet said helping him lower his foot to the ground then she leaned forward offering the hug. "No one will ever be able to keep a mother away from their sick child. It's impossible. They will always find a way to be there." 

"Or a doctor from their sick patients" he said and patted her back before releasing her and stood up with the help of the crutches. "Ok, I'm going before you call out your staff for like Jack says, big honkin' needles. Good night Janet and I'll call and check on you tomorrow all right?" 

"Sounds good," Janet replied. "Good night and take care of that ankle." Janet laid back down trying to get comfortable so she could fall asleep again. 

Corridor/Elevator/Infirmary

The next morning Sam had one of Janet's dress uniforms in its case and in her hand. She had come in an hour early but got caught up talking with Hammond and her fathers as well as making sure the others were ready in the gate room. The General had even gone ahead and gotten the paper faxed over from the President who wasn't happy but had done it about Kira. She was nervous as hell, her palms were sweaty even as she ran from the elevator toward the Infirmary and litterly skidded in out of breath and sweating since she had been running since around midnight the night before to get everything in place. Seeing both Warner and Fraiser as well as most of the other medical staff looking at her she smiled while trying to catch her breath and moved toward where David Warner was giving Janet her medications and instructions, "Sorry...I'm...late...traffic" she offered and put the clothing case on the bed. "Brought...your...clothes Janet." 

"I'm just going home Sam," Janet said eyeing the clothes Sam brought. "You didn't need to bring a uniform." Janet took the medications and looked at the labels. 

While Warner talked Sam caught her breath and then spoke slowly, "Well you never know when you'll have to treat someone who trips and cracks their head or something as we walk by and besides" she said leaning forward and whispered, "You look damn hot in a uniform." 

Warner smiled, "If you don't have any questions Doctor I'll leave you to get dressed and will talk to you tonight when I call and check on you?" 

"No questions and I'll talk to you later Warner," Janet said and gave Sam a look. "You see me in uniform all the time. Why is it so important today? I'm just going home to sleep." 

"Humor me honey" she said and unzipped the bag. "Want some privacy or some help" she asked as Warner left though only Sam knew they'd be seeing them again in a few minutes. 

"Sam just get me a pair of surgical scrubs or a pair of BDU's to wear home," Janet said. "I really don't feel like fighting with a dress uniform." Janet leaned up against the bed watching Sam. 

"Please baby" the woman asked pouting a little, "For me? I have to stop by the gate room before we go home and I want to show you off in uniform." 

"Everyone has seen me in uniform before Sam," Janet said wondering why Sam wanted this so badly. "What is going on?" 

Sighing Sam nodded, "I'll get you some scrubs" she said realizing that Janet would be wearing scrubs but it didn't matter to her at all; she just knew if her lover knew she'd want to be in uniform. Even Sam was in full dress blues but n one had noticed and so were the officers in the gate room but scrubs would work because Janet had been sick and they were her second uniform. Sam returned shortly after carrying a pair of scrubs. Wrapping her arms around the blonds neck Janet gave her a quick peck on the cheek before kissing her on the lips. 

"I haven't told you today but you look great," Janet whispered huskily. "Why the dress blues babe?" 

Handing Janet the scrubs she shrugged lightly, "I just felt like us dressing up a little, you know I like to show you off but scrubs are ok I guess" she admitted and stepped back to pick up the bag of clothes. "I'll give you some privacy to change Janet" she said with a nod and turned to go back through the curtain. 

"Sam wait," Janet, said hearing the disappointment in Sam's voice. "Get back in here and leave the uniform right where it was." As much as she didn't feel like dressing up Sam wanted to and she would do it for that reason alone. She pulled off the flimsy gown she had been stuck wearing. "Help." 

Turning Sam came over and put the bag down and smiled at her lover, touched by her doing something for her and wrapped her in a hug carefully and kissed her, "Thank you Janet, I love you so much." 

"I love you too Sam," Janet said kissing her back. "And you can repay me later. Now help me get this damn thing on." 

"Yes dear" she answered and loved how that sounded as she started to help. 

Corridor/Elevator

After Janet was dressed and Sam had her medication bag in her hand Sam smiled and picked Janet's arm up draping it over hers. Usually they didn't make such open affections on base but she really didn't care right now, "Come on baby, let's go," she said proudly. After today everyone would know and she was so happy about it. 

"You want to tell me what has got you so happy?" Janet questioned surprised by Sam's actions. 

"You do" she answered her as they walked and headed out of the Infirmary and into the nearby elevator that was waiting, a gift from the control room. Pressing level twenty-eight she smiled. "I love you so much Janet, I can't believe I'm so happy. You're incredible." 

"Sam this isn't like you," Janet said her mind suddenly switching gears. "Is something wrong? You'd tell me right. If something was wrong." She was trying hard not to panic but with resent events putting a heavy emotional strain on her she was loosing the battle. 

"Relax," she said squeezing the hand she held. "I promise you I'm fine, the girls are fine, you're fine but the minute you're back on duty I'll let you give me a full check up so you can be 100% sure ok baby?" 

"Your sure nothing else is wrong?" Janet pushed. "The house didn't burn down or anything?" 

Sam laughed lightly and winked, "I promise the house is fine, the base is fine, the cars are fine and if you want we can stop and get a pet on the way home so it can be fine too" and she turned kissing Janet. "Relax honey pie." 

"No we don't need a pet especially if the girls will be leaving the nest soon," Janet said smiling. "You have been very affectionate today. If nothing is wrong what did you or the kids do?" 

"Now that" Carter said as the elevator stopped, "Is for me to know and you to hopefully find out. Come on" she said holding her hand and had such a wide grin her face was in danger of breaking as they walked up the corridor toward the gate room. 

Janet pulled back on the hand a little. "What are you up to Lt. Colonel?" She questioned scrutinizing Sam. 

"Now what makes you think I'm up to anything?" she asked as they neared the gate room. She felt the sweat coating her hands and under the uniform and she took a deep breath to swallow the lump of nervousness. 

"Gee maybe because you have this funny grin plastered to your face," Janet pointed out. "And your body language clearly says that you have been up to some sort of planning." 

"Maybe I've just got gas" she offered and giggled handing the medication bag to a guard, "Hold that." 

"Yes ma'am" he answered with a nod. "Hello Doctor Fraiser, it is nice to see you well again." 

Pulling out her ID card Sam slid it in the reader and then put it back in her pocket, letting her finger trail the box inside. 

"It's good to see you to," Janet said with a nod of her head. "Thank you." Janet waited with Sam for the doors to open and she noticed that Sam's hands were starting to sweat more and more. She turned her hand over and lightly scrapped the inside of Sam's wrist before returning it so the hands were joined. 

Gate Room

Entering Sam led her inside and stopped as the gate came to life and all those, including O'Neil, her dad Jacob, and several other military officers stood at attention in dress blues along in front of the gate. Cassandra and Kira were standing with Daniel on crutches and Teal'c who were all dressed up and Sam led her lover forward and nodded to them before she pulled the ring out of the box in her pocket. Glancing at her family and friends and seeing her dad nod Sam took a deep breath as Janet asked what was going on. 

"Sam," Janet's voice was uneasy. "What's going on? Why is everyone here including the girls? Answer me please." 

With tears in her eyes Carter released her hand and walked over to stand in front of her. Everyone else was behind her now and feeling a tear slide down she slid to one knee on the cold concrete in the skirt and held out the ring to her while locking eyes, "Janet I love you, you're my heart, my soul, my very life. I'm less when you aren't with me and you give me purpose and are my center. I'm nothing but a shell without you. Please, do me the honor of becoming my wife?" 

"Sam," she gasped out as she brought a trembling hand to cover her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks. 

With a smile Sam pulled the paper out with her other hand while she still held the ring, "The General got the President to promise that no matter what we did we wouldn't loose Kira. Cass is of age so they can't do anything about her. Well" she asked with a smile unsure if Sam meant yes or know when Janet spoke it. "I love you Janet and I want to spend eternity as your wife." 

Janet dropped to her knees in front of Sam. "Yes," she said kissing her fiancé deeply as everyone in the gate room cheered. 

Breaking the kiss Sam lifted Janet's hand and slid the ring on the right finger. Kissing her again she looked back at her dad and the General, "Uh Sir you want to help us skirted people up here?" 

Jacob laughed as Jack O'Neil helped Sam and he helped Janet, "I guess this means I get to call you daughter now. Congratulations Janet, Sam couldn't ask for better," he said holding open his arms for a hug. 

Janet took the hug from Sam's father. "Thank you for your blessing Sir. It means a lot to Sam and me." She looked at her daughters and saw them beaming and bouncing on their toes. 

"Oh please" the older man said holding her hands after the hug, "You can call me Dad, it won't kill you and Selmak is very happy for you both." 

"Dad stop monopolizing my fiancé" Sam called over, "You're here for two days, you can drool over her later. We have family and friends that want to congratulate us," she said hugging Teal'c as he came up. 

Jack O'Neil came over as Jacob let Janet go and the girls approached, "Doc congratulations. You and Carter deserve all the happiness in the world and I for one thing this is long overdue." 

"Thank you Sir," Janet said giving her commanding officer a hug. "I happen to agree with you on that." Janet cast a glance to the side at her fiancée, god how she loved the way that sounded. 

"Just remember Doc" the older man said releasing her, "He who helped arrange happy future for you gets smaller needles at next physical right" he asked with a laugh as the next well wisher waited their turn. 

"With out a doubt sir," Janet said. "The next couple physicals in fact." 

"Dang, I gotta arrange your honeymoon and I'll never have to have another check up" Jack stated. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes as she and Kira hugged mom, "Congratulations mom; it's about time" Cassie said happily. 

"Yeah I agree" Kira stated holding onto her mother. "Though I guess you're mom and she's mom two?" 

"How about mom and momma or mommy" Cassandra asked with a smile. 

"I think Sam would like either one," Janet said giving each of her daughters a kiss as she hugged them. "How long have you two known about this?" 

"Since Sam told us of course" Kira said happily as she saw Sam come up behind Janet. Taking her sisters arm they stepped back. 

Scooping up her fiancé Sam spun her around at the base of the gate and laughed, "The wedding is day after tomorrow at that Catholic church we went to for Christmas last year Janet, the one you said you liked. It's already arranged and everyone will be there. They have to get the base back operative, but dad is coming over for dinner tonight, but until then you ready to go home with these beautiful daughters of ours my little fiancé" she asked happily and kissed her as the entire gate room cheered. 

Janet slid her hand from Sam's cheek until she was cupping the back of her head pulling her more into the kiss. She finally broke the kiss panting, "I am definitely ready to head home and relax." She flashed Sam a bright smile. "Love the way that sounds by the way." 

Corridor/Elevator

"So do I" she promised and thanked everyone before carrying Janet out of the gate room with the girls behind them. Cassie got Janet's medicine from the guard and they were in the elevator before Sam put Janet down and wrapped their hands together. "I love the way that ring looks on you," she said holding it up proudly. "Though it doesn't touch your beauty Janet." 

"Smooth Sam" Cassie said giggling. 

"So how long has everyone known about this but me?" Janet asked a little curious as she leaned into Sam. 

"I'd been thinking about it a while but really had it planned in my mind the day Warner did that transfusion thing" Carter told her with a smile. "The girls helped me plan it and the honeymoon, but don't ask where, I'm not telling you that yet. Another few hours and we'll be married baby," she said kissing Janet's head as the elevator rose. 

"I can't believe it," Janet whispered. "Almost like a dream come true. God how much I love you Samantha." Janet turned her head kissing the palm of both of Sam's hands. 

"Almost as much I love you" she answered bringing their joined hand to her lips and kissed it. 

"MOM, MOMMA" Kira and Cassie yelled together. "Wait until we're home to do that mushy stuff" Kira finished. 

"We can't help it," Janet answered first. "It's uncontainable." 

Sam smiled and winked, "This wouldn't happen if your mom wasn't such a gorgeous and desirable woman. I mean look how beautiful she is after days in the Infirmary, who all can do that" she said and kissed Janet's nose. "You cutie pie you." 

Janet just leaned against Sam her arms wrapped around the blonds waist till they reached the surface and the door opened. "When is your father coming for dinner?" She asked trying to figure out what to make. 

SGC Security/Parking Area

"Around six he said, but he also said he's bringing it with him so no cooking" she said with a smile. 

The girl's clapped as they ran through security when Sam nodded it ok. 

"I guess he gets to be a grandfather now," Janet pointed out as they headed towards the car. 

"So he says now" she answered and went over opening the passenger door since Cassie and the kid were in the back. "In you go princess?" 

Janet shook her head at Sam's antics and climbed in. After the door was closed she pulled her seatbelt across her and buckled it. "So then what are the plans for the day till she arrives?" 

"She who" Sam asked climbing in the drivers seat and mirrored Janet's actions with the seatbelt and looked back to see the girls were buckled up before starting the car. 

"Hey mom can we lay with you and watch a movie when we get home" Kira asked Janet. 

"Sorry hon I meant when your dad and Selmak come," Janet said with a slight yawn. "I don't know what Sam's plans are so you might ask her instead. I'm not allowed to make the decisions." 

"Up to your mom and I don't know Janet, dad just said he wanted to spend some time with his new daughter" Carter offered. 

"With his new daughter huh?" Janet's voice trailed of a little as she started to get a bit nervous. "I just want to relax with my family." 

"Then that's what we do," Sam said as she drove through after being cleared through the gate. 

"Good" the girls said together and laughed. "On with the relaxing" Cassie proclaimed.


End file.
